Walking with a limp is a lot harder than expected. Not only that but you look completely abnormal walking with a little bounce on your one leg while the other drags behind you. Throughout the day I've thought- numerous times- how Alex could've underestimated my ankle's condition since it hurts like an absolute pain in the ass. However, when my mom checked it out she also said that it wasn't anything serious so I guess I have nothing to worry about. When my mom had seen me limping she had demanded to see why. I was hesitant at first due to the reason behind it but I eventually let her see it. She then rubbed muscle inflammation cream before asking me how I got it. And of course I lied like usual saying I tripped down the stairs only this time, my mom didn't seem too convinced and kept casting me sly, suspicious glances. She didn't say anything though.

"Did you do your chemistry homework?" Martin asks from beside me.

I let out an unattractive snort. "No,"

He laughs at my reaction but says nothing more. It's strange to see Martin without Nina. They're basically inseparable, both joined by the hip. He's basically her shadow, constantly following her around and showing his love. I'm really happy about that. They deserve to be together.

"Are you going to come with us to the Pool Playhouse on Friday?" He asks me as I pull my books out of my locker. Pool Playhouse was a small bar that loved to accommodate pool players. The Rebels had suggested going there a while ago but I'm not really feeling up to it.

"Nah. I got to start focusing on studying." I shrug. Martin's lips form an 'o' and he nods in understanding. I need to try and move on from all of this, all the drama and hurt. I need to. I hear a few girls snicker behind me and I turn to face them with a raised eyebrow.

"Sophie Cooper, right?" A red-head asks beside her blonde friend. She can't be older than seventeen. I narrow my eyes.

"Yes?" I ask, Martin intrigued now too. They start giggling again.

"What's it like being the slut of the school?" One of them asks and I scoff but before I can say anything, Martin pulls me back.
"It's not worth it, Sophie." He says and I nod, fully aware of that.

"With Alex and his best friend? Wow!" The other laughs and I sneer at them over my shoulder.

"C'mon, let's get to class." Martin tugs at my arm. I sigh but oblige nonetheless.

"Aww, come on Cooper. We're not being rude. Just honest."

I roll my eyes, these girls are really starting to get on my nerves now. I've being easily ticked off lately and these girls are pushing my buttons way too far right now.
I clench my jaw as they continue spitting out words that the human brain should not be able to process. They're following us to class now, having nothing better to do with their time.

"You're nothing now Sophie. Just a loser. You were so fake, anyway. Gosh, I don't blame the Elite for hating you. You're so selfish and ungrateful. I bet your dad didn't even love you." The red-head spits. The last part makes me halt in my tracks and tears spring to my eyes. It is just an insult, they are just spitting what comes to their mind first but what they don't know is how true those words are to a certain extent. If my dad did love me, he would have never left me like that; heartbroken and confused. These girls have hit a sore spot I didn't know existed. However, that's not what truly riles me up. The words they say thereafter are.

"I bet Alex doesn't either. I mean he's a manwhore anyway. Scum of the Earth; deadbeat." She laughs. "Just like his father."

I finally understand what people mean when they say that they're so angry that all they can see is red.

Well, not just because I figuratively see red but rather because of the blood that spews out of the red-head's nose when my fist collides with her face.

****

My leg bounces up and down nervously and I cradle my hand to my chest. The soft tap of the receptionist typing away at her keyboard fills the silence and I pinch the bridge of my nose in frustration. Why don't they have air conditioning in this place? The receptionist looks up from her computer and gives me a sympathetic smile, probably feeling sorry for little ol' me for having to sit and wait for my demise. Since luck doesn't seem to want to help me out lately, after I punched the big mouth, Mrs Collinson had made her way down the hallway at that exact moment and dragged me to the principal's office while informing the red-head to go to the nurse. That all led up to this exact moment. I'm not going to lie, I underestimated my strength when I punched the girl. Blood immediately started pouring out of her nose and my hand started throbbing in pain. At least I knew how to punch and didn't tuck my thumb inside of my fist or else it would have been game over.

But now that I'm sitting here, waiting for Mr Green to stop shouting at whoever is in his office, I can't help but wonder what will happen now, will he phone my mother? Oh gosh, I hope not. She'll kill me and ask way too many questions that I'm not yet willing or ready to answer.
Don't get me wrong, I don't regret punching that girl in the face. Definitely not, she deserved it after what she said about Alex. I couldn't just stand there and ignore those words. Alex has received enough snarky remarks after the revelation of his life. Besides, if I hadn't punched her Martin probably would have. I just got to her first. Unfortunately.
None of that eases my nerves though. What if he suspends me? Even worse, expels me? I can't be expelled! Sure, I might hate school but I can't have that on my record.

How do kids do this?

The door to Mr Green's office opens and a young boy with shaggy hair and a lanky built walks out, scowling at me in the process. Mr Green shakes his head at him with a frown as he walks away before his eyes drift to meet mine. At first surprise lights up his features before understanding does. He drops the scowl and gives me a tight-lipped smile. I'm surprised that he doesn't frown or look at me in disappointment.

"Come on in, Miss Cooper." He says and I stand up on jelly legs before walking into his office.
"Please close the door behind you." He says and I oblige before taking a seat on the other side of the table to my principal. The strong smell of sage is evident in the room and for a moment I want to cough but I refrain from doing so. I sit on the edge of my seat with a rigid posture. Mr Green however, sits casually in his chair, observing me before leaning forward and clasping both his hands on the desk. His slightly balding head catches the light and it shines.

I fidget nervously in my seat and don't know where to look; his eyes, his head, the ceiling, the floor, my lap. I settle with my hands. He shortly clears his throat and I look up at him.

"How are you, Sophie?" He asks me and I frown slightly.

"I-I'm fine, thank you,"

He nods before pulling a file from the stack on his desk and flipping through it before settling on a page. He skims over it before looking at me.

"What exactly made you punch Miss Heatherfield in the face?" He asks me. I chew on my cheek.

"She just said something that upset me," I say soflty.

"Do you believe violence is the answer?"

"No, of course not." I respond and he nods. He licks his lips before looking back at the file in front of him. "From your records here, you seem to have a pretty good record. No complaints from teachers other than you being late, or visits to my office, until now that is. " He looks up briefly before reading again. "However, I can see that your grades have dropped quite a bit. Do you have any reason as to why that is?" He asks me.

I scratch my eyebrow before pursing my lips. Of course I do.
Having to continuously watch my back because of the Elite and having to work at Sunny Smiles while getting all of my work done is quite draining. I've neglected my marks and focused on other things. After I don't answer, Mr Green sighs and leans back in his chair.

"Look, Sophie." Mr Green starts. "You've never been a student to cause trouble here at Ridgevale High. I've never received any complaints of your behavior so I'm going to let this one slide," He says and I nearly jump for joy. "I won't be calling your mother because I believe that you are a good student who has acknowledged that you've made a mistake and won't do it again. However, since the Heatherfield family will not be very happy about that, I'll inform them that you're doing community work since you are, just not for the reason they're thinking. Now, I know I'm not allowed to do this but I will."

"Thank you, sir." I say politely and he nods.

"I'd like to inform you however, that you nearly broke Miss Heatherfield's nose which isn't acceptable so I need you to be aware that this will not be taken lightly if to happen again." He says in an affirmative tone. I nod in understanding. He then pauses for a moment before fixing his tie.

"You know, sometimes what we think is important is not actually. Sometimes our perception of things is rather flawed and inlogical." He starts and I suddenly feel like a daughter getting a life lecture from her father. Too bad I actually never got one of those. I look at Mr Green strangely, not knowing where exactly he's going with this.

"And at this point in your life, we tend to make some very poor and life altering decisions." He looks at me intensely. "I know that you have done quite a few of those. I, of course, don't know what exactly goes on amongst the student body but I do know that they can cause you to do things you're against."

Okay, now I know where he's going with this. I look at my lap in shame. I'm pathetic.

"It's not too late, Sophie. You still have the next few months to pull your marks up and experience the high school career you want. You just need to be true to yourself."
I look up at him and nod slowly, feeling humiliated that my principal is telling me this. Isn't this my mom or dad's duty?

"I think you'll get far in life, Sophie, not by punching people however," he chuckles and I do so strained. He smiles.

"You're dismissed." He says and I nod, standing up.

"Thank you," I mumble and leave the room, hearing the final bell ring overhead as I leave the office- with my dignity inside- to the parking lot. Alex is already waiting by the car when I get there, ignoring the stares from the students who have obviously heard about the whole punching thing.

He's already watching me from the steps and when our eyes meet, my stomach stirs in warmth at the sight of him. He doesn't stop staring at me until I reach him. He gets up from his car and walks up to me. Alex looks down at me and I stare up at the chocolate swirls in his eyes.

"You seriously punched a girl today?" Alex asks incredulously and I sigh, looking down at the ground. I'm sorry that I couldn't keep a lid on my emotions at that point but I was just so mad. I don't answer him and I feel him sigh.

"Martin told me what the girl said, and why you did it." He says and I look up at him briefly. His features soften when he looks at me. Alex clips my chin so that I look up at him properly. He's closer to me now, his scent of Vanilla and Axe invading my senses. He leans down slightly.
"Thank you," His minty breath fans against my cheek. "it means a lot."

I smile and lean up to press our lips together. It's passionate and gentle and I can't focus on anything other than the feel of his lips on mine and the fireworks that wrack up my body to leave shivers in its wake. We break apart and he smiles down at me before he lifts my hands up and eyes the small bruise forming on the one I punched the girl with.
Alex let's out a low whistle as he stares at my hand.

"My girl sure can throw a punch," he says with pride and I almost swoon when he says 'my girl'
I grin up at him and he chuckles before kissing the tip of my nose and pulling me to his car. Once we're inside, we drive to Sunny Smiles even though it's a bit early. It's okay though, we'll talk to Kathy and Rachel until our shifts start. I sure hope that Lucy isn't mad I didn't pitch yesterday. I mean I didn't intend on having an emotional breakdown, it just sort of happened.

When we pull up outside of Sunny Smiles, I push my door open but Alex grips my wrist and holds me back. I look at him with a raised eyebrow but close the door slightly and wait for his reason to keep me here anyway. He stares at me intensely before he tugs me closer. I move over in my seat while his eyes don't move from my face.

"What's wrong?" I ask when we're closer. He doesn't say anything but does lean over the console and kiss me again. I don't complain or push him away, but rather move my lips in sync with his. Kissing Alex always feels like the universe is at my finger tips and nothing can get me down or make me feel like I can't do anything. Alex makes me feel like myself while not having to be ashamed about it.
He slips his hand around my neck and pulls me even closer. My hand slips from the handle of the car door and makes its way into his soft hair. We're kissing over the console now and it's extremely awkward and uncomfortable. So, taking matters into my own hands, I get up from my seat and climb over onto Alex's side so that I'm now basically straddling him.
He rests his hands on my waist and I run mine through his hair. He looks up at me in awe and I find myself smiling softly. Even though it's a little small and squashed sitting on the same seat as him, he doesn't hesitate to trail kisses along my jaw while I play with the hair on the nape of his neck.

Even though I'm aware that us busy making out in the car in the parking lot of a children's home is a little inappropriate, I can't seem to pull myself away from Alex. I love his kisses way too much for that and right now, his lips are more vital for my survival than the fresh air outside of this car. I tug at his hair and he groans before looking up at me in complete adoration and desire. I smile at the boy in front of me, tightening my grip around his neck.

"I love you," He mumbles and my eyes trail from his lips back up to his twinkling eyes. My breath catches in my throat. Not because of our intimate position or because of the electricity in the air but rather because of how he looks at me so honestly.
"Thank you for defending me." He says, cupping my cheek. I rest my forehead against his.

"You would have done the same." I say as he rubs his thumb over my bottom lip. "But to your first statement, I love you more."

****

I hear my mom open the door to our house when I'm on my seventh math problem. I use this as a valid reason to put my homework on hold and take a break. I don't go downstairs though, not really feeling like having to limp down the stairs only to come back up. I hear my mother pad across the floor as she makes her way up to my room. When she stops by my doorframe, I look up from my desk and smile at her. She walks to my bed and takes a seat on the edge of it and I turn my desk chair around to face her.

"Hello sweetie. How are you?"

I smile. "I'm good thank you."

"How is your ankle?" She asks, her eyes flitting to it briefly before looking back at me.

"It's still sore but other than that, it's okay." I chuckle and run a hand through my hair. She watches my action but her face soon contorts into confusion before she pulls my hand to her and she observes it.

"What happened to your hand, Sophie?" She asks and I yank my hand back as if she physically burnt me. I guess me doing that was a bit obvious, but I panicked. What am I supposed to say? I force a laugh and my mom watches me expectantly.

"I honestly don't even know where the bruise came from," I say, fake observing my knuckle. I look to my mother over my hand and for once, for once in all my times of lying straight to her face, she doesn't seem to believe me. At all. She stares at me for a little too long for my comfort, almost as if she's expecting me to spill my guts out. However, when I stay silent something like hurt flickers through her eyes and my heart aches at the sight. She smiles at me anyway, taps my bruised hand lovingly and presses a kiss to my forehead before she leaves, my eyes following after her.

Suddenly, my room feels suffocating and I stand up, walking to my closet and pulling out a thin jumper and pulling it on. I exchange my slippers for my sneakers and pull my hair up into a ponytail. As I reach to grab my phone, my hand freezes mid-air. It then reaches forward and grips a thin piece of shiny paper. I bring it up to my face with trembling hands and an aching heart. I can only explain the feeling as drowning in memories. I smile slightly at the photo of Kelcy and I before I gently put it back down. I definitely need a walk to freshen up.

"I'm going for a walk," I tell my mom and she looks up from her phone.

"Alright. Be safe and please keep your phone on you."

I nod as I make my way out of my house. I walk along the silent road, a random car driving by now and again. The sun is beginning to set causing the sky to become a beautiful array of orange, blue and pink. I breathe the fresh air in deeply and decide to make my way to the nearby park.

When I reach it, there's nobody in it due to the time and I almost feel like turning back around and going home however, I realize I need the solitude and solace to clear my mind. I have a lot to think through; a lot to sort out regarding my thoughts. This is the reason I take a seat on one the swings and start swaying gently. I let the cool air wrap around me. I forget about everything for a fraction of a second before it all starts falling down on me again.

I hate having to lie to my mom and pretend like I'm okay when I'm really not. I'm not okay.

I feel so undeniably exhausted from dealing with all my emotions and having to keep this facade up that I'm fine even when I'm really not. Maybe some people would call this depression but I know otherwise. I'm not drowning in sadness. Sometimes, like when I'm with Alex and he holds me in his arms, I'm so damn happy. I actually become high off of ecstasy. Or like when I'm with the Rebels and they crack the most hilarious jokes that make my stomach hurt from laughter. But sometimes, when I'm alone or I know no one is watching, sadness, shame and guilt seeps in and fills all the crevices in my soul. It's like I have this happy and sad soul inside my body.

I remember what Alex said yesterday to me when we were on my bed and he was holding me like delicate fine china. He, unlike everyone else, could see right through me. He literally read me like an open book and hit the nail on the head. I don't forgive myself and... and I don't think I love myself very much either. How could I after I became everything I said I'd never be? I said I wouldn't be like one of those girls and that's exactly what I became! I did the opposite to everything my mother taught me. I strayed from my morals and values just to fit in. I destroyed myself. I turned the real me into a distant memory that was tainted with what I became.
I let the departure and abandonment from my father affect me to the point where I gave up who I really was. From there I just gave in to everything.

I did things I vowed were never to be done and I lied to my mother all the time. I became the girl the Elite painted out for me. I let it continue until I realized it was a bit too much. By then though, I was in too deep. I had nowhere else to go