We all experience regret. So sometimes we were having difficulty in choosing a haircut style because we do not want to regret it at the end of it. We do not know if we would rather pursue our dreams or better stay in a comfort zone. If it is the right time to confess our love to someone else. If it is a good choice in quitting our job and find another one somewhere away from our family. In fact, we are scared of uncertainty if it would work or not. So we forsake our dreams and aspirations because it seems risky and unattainable; did not take up the courage to confess our feelings to a special person we admired the most because perhaps scared of being rejected; did not dare to work abroad because maybe we are not qualified enough to work there, and let the barber decide which hairstyle suits us. And in the end, we regret it. But the research found that the most lasting regret we had ever done is not living up to our ideal selves.

There are three elements that are composed of a person's sense of self. First, our actual selves which are the traits and abilities we think we possess. Second, our ought selves, what we should have based on duties, obligations, and responsibilities. Last but not the least, ideal selves, the attributes we would ideally like to possess such as hopes, goals, aspirations, or wishes. People are more haunted by regrets about failing in fulfilling their goals, aspirations, and hopes than regrets in failing in doing their duties, obligations, and responsibilities. Because our ought selves are easier to fulfill. It involves specific rules we must obey such as behaving at a funeral, how we interact with our parents, and professional acts we must do in our work. Whereas ideal-related regrets tend to be more general: Be a good parent, a good mentor, a supportive friend, a good dancer. Moreover, we usually think that we need inspiration or motivation to push us to achieve our ideal selves but according to psychological research we do not need to. Just do it, as the Nike slogan says. Waiting for inspiration is merely an excuse. Better engage in the desired activity and eventually, inspiration will follow. We should not get worried about how others perceive us and assumes that our performance will turn bad. We must remove that kind of mindset and just do it to avoid long-term regret. We might regret doing it for a short while but surely we will regret not doing it indefinitely.

But if you ever dreamed of becoming a notorious successful robbery for doing the greatest heist. Just do it. Or join a politics where you could legally steal money. 😉