A/N: hellooo

I JUST FINISHED MY LAST FINAL AND TODAY WAS THE LAST DAY OF MY NIGHTMARISH SEMESTER AND I'M FINALLY FINALLY FINALLY FREEEEEE

oh GOD you have no idea how relieved i am that this semester is finally over. i literally feel like i'm floating. there is just so. much. stress. with an online semester and thank goodness i don't have to worry about school for at least a month. i mean— what were they thinking when they made an accelerated semester with no breaks in between??? the number of times that i've had a mental breakdown—

ANYway i'm super excited because my birthday is this friday and GUESS WHAT?? YOU GUYS ARE GETTING A SURPRISE CHAPTER ON MY BIRTHDAY WOOP WOOP!!

figured i should treat y'all cause you guys are the sweetest :)

okay so we left off right after peter confessed (killer cliffhanger haha) and we're picking up right back there BUT NOTE!!

to make this chapter x10000 better, please listen to the song i have up there, you can see it if you just swipe right! it really fits well with this whole chapter and i love the piano in it

also, i would just like to take a moment to bring this back before we proceed

nobody had faith in my guy lmao but here we go!

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"I just...there's something I need to tell you."

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"Peter?" she asked quietly, staring at the ceiling above her. At first there was no answer. Then, the sound of Peter moving in his bed.

"Yeah?" he asked, his voice groggy.

"Sorry," she said, "Never mind." She could hear Peter yawning and turning in his bed.

"What's wrong?" he asked, still sounding sleepy.

"Can you turn on the lamp?" she asked quietly, holding her breath. Wordlessly, Peter got out of bed and switched on the lamp next to his desk and then crawled back under his blanket. Adelaide breathed a sigh of relief.

"Better?" he asked, his voice muffled.

"Yeah. Thanks," she whispered in the silence.

"No problem," he mumbled, "Goodnight, Ada."

Adelaide closed her eyes, a small smile on her face.

"Goodnight, Pete."

Adelaide blinked.

Her mind was working on a bit of a lag. She had heard what Peter said, but she was still trying to wrap her head around what it actually meant.

Ada...I like you.

He liked her? Like liked her? As in attraction? A crush?

Peter Parker had a crush on her?

Spider-Man liked her?

She blinked again. Maybe she had heard him wrong. Or maybe like was slang for something she didn't know. Maybe this was a prank. Were there cameras in here? She waited for him to start laughing. He didn't. Instead, he grew more and more nervous as she stayed quiet.

"Please say something," Peter begged. Adelaide realized that she had been staring at him with wide blue eyes and mouth hanging slightly open this whole time. She closed her mouth, snapping out of it.

"You...like me?" she breathed. Her voice was thin and high. Peter nodded.

"I do. A-A lot, actually," he admitted. Adelaide still couldn't understand.

"But...how?" she asked, genuinely dumbfounded. Of all the things she had expected Peter to tell her, this had not even crossed her mind. She was still lagging. Her mind was working five minutes ago, when Peter had just said the words.

Peter shrugged.

"I don't know," he said, looking down, "I just...do. You're my best friend. And I guess I kind of realized that no matter what happened in my life, you were always there. Even if I just wanted someone to listen to me, you were always there. When Ben died, you were there. When I was about to make the biggest mistake of my life, you stopped me. And even when I tried to push you away, you still stayed. You have always been there for me, Ada. However I needed you."

She had no idea. She was just being a good friend. She had no idea that she meant so much to Peter. And he liked her for all the reasons that she liked him. She was the one who could never walk away from him and he was the one who liked her for it.

"Pete..." she breathed, "I don't know what to say."

Peter studied her face, feeling his heart beating through his ribcage. He swallowed.

"It's okay if you don't feel the same way," he said, trying to hide how much it would hurt if she didn't, "I can understand."

Adelaide looked at him in surprise and then shook her head.

"What? No—" she said.

Peter's face fell.

"You don't?" he asked. Adelaide shook her head.

"No, that's not what I meant, um," she said, "I uh I do...I-I like you too, Pete."

Peter had never before had to exert so much energy at once than he had to in that singular moment to keep his face from breaking into the biggest smile he had ever smiled in his entire life.

"You do?" he asked, trying to mask the excitement in his voice from showing. He wanted nothing more than to jump up and laugh. Ada liked him! This was insane. This was absolutely insane. Ada liked him too?

Adelaide laughed nervously, "Of course I do. I care about you a lot. Besides, nobody makes me laugh like you do. And sometimes, I even feel like you can hear what I'm thinking, you know? If anybody gets me, it's you, Pete."

"You have no idea how relieved I am to hear that," he grinned.

They both sat there for a moment, just smiling at each other like a couple of dorks. Adelaide bit her lip, feeling butterflies swarming her stomach.

"So what now?"

"Um...I don't know," he laughed, "I've never...I didn't even think you felt the same way."

"Me neither," she laughed.

Peter smiled at her. He hadn't felt this happy in a while. In fact, he didn't think he had seen Ada this happy in a long time.

"Whatever we decide to do, I don't want you to feel pressured for anything, you know that, right?" he asked. He didn't want to cross any lines he shouldn't. Last time he had ignored how she felt, it had resulted with her flatlining in the ICU. He knew it wouldn't be that drastic again, but he still felt obligated to put her first, considering everything.

"I know," she smiled, but it didn't quite reach her eyes.

"What's wrong?" he asked, the smile falling from his face. Had he said something wrong?

Adelaide shook her head, "It's nothing. I just...there's something I need to tell you."

Peter frowned.

"What is it?"

"I don't even know how to start," she laughed, but it wasn't quite as genuine as before — it was more nervous — and Peter grew worried, "Pete...I really do like you. A lot. But there are just some things..."

"What things?" he pressed. Adelaide sighed.

"I'm not...I don't...I just..."

"Ada," he said softly, making her look at him. One look into his honest brown eyes and all her nervousness melted away. "You can tell me."

"The past few months have been...not good. I um...I kind of lost everything and then myself. There was a moment where I literally hated myself. I wanted to..." she swallowed, twisting her hands together anxiously and looking away from him, "end everything be-because I was just sick of being...me. I...I think I'm starting to see now that I shouldn't just...um, end it."

"I...I had no idea," Peter whispered. All this time, she had been going through that by herself? And all he had done was say god knows what kind of awful things to her. He had not once thought about her. All he had been thinking about was all the things going wrong in his life. Never once had he considered that Ada's life had been falling apart. He couldn't imagine his life without her if she had...

"I know," she said quietly, "I just feel so uncomfortable in my own head sometimes and I don't how to stop and-and I want things to be back to normal, trust me I do. But they were never normal before and now I have to make this new normal and I don't even know--"

"Ada, Ada, hey, slow down," he said gently. She sighed.

"I still can't stand myself, Pete," she admitted, "And I don't know anything about relationships, but I know that that can't be healthy for me or you." She looked up at him again and the look she gave him made Peter believe every word that followed. "I want to do this. So much. But I want to do it right. I can't afford messing us up too."

Peter swallowed. He knew she was right. He wasn't about to put himself before her mental health. And he wanted to do this right, too. The last thing he wanted was for them to have to break up because the timing was wrong. He cared too much about her to force their relationship like that.

If they were really going to do this, they would do it right. On the first try.

So he reached forward, taking her cold hand into his warm one and curling his fingers around hers gently. She looked up at him, slightly surprised.

"I'm here to stay, Ada," he said, gently squeezing her hand, "I promise."

She looked into his eyes. All she could see was genuine emotion and honesty within the endless depths of brown.

A stubborn, irrational fear had settled into her chest. A fear that everyone who was in her life was meant to leave. A kind of sickening fear that she was never meant to be loved or cared about.

It wasn't her fault. Life had played with her to an extent where she had broken. People always left. She always pushed them away. Or they always used her and left when they were finished. Adelaide didn't know anything else. She had never been in a permanent relationship, not once in her entire life. She had learned to love from a distance — a quasi sort of affection that protected her from the pain of someone leaving her again. Like a glass fortress she had put up around herself. She could see through it, but never reach past it.

Inside her fortress, she was protected. Inside, no one could hurt her. Inside...it was just her.

Alone, but safe.

But here was this wonderful boy telling her that he was here to stay. That he would wait patiently outside until she let him in. He was telling her that it was worth waiting for. That she was worth waiting for.

It should have made her feel happy.

However, it only teased a different sort of fear in her chest. She didn't want to keep him waiting for her to let him in. Adelaide didn't want to cause him unnecessary pain. Peter didn't deserve that. He was more than what she deserved. Much, much more. It took time and effort and vulnerability to be invested in a relationship that she was just not capable of right now. And to pretend that she was okay wouldn't end well for either of them. Feigning happiness only ever resulted in pain.

"I don't want to hurt you," she whispered, "I want to be with you, but I don't think I even know what it should feel like to be in a stable relationship. People always leave, Pete."

She helplessly began to tear up.

"Sometimes it's my fault, but-but I never know what do when they go. A-And each time it hurts more than the last. I just— I-I can't go through that again, Pete. I can't. I'm not that strong. I can't do that to myself again, I can't," she said, completely breaking down.

This was the first time she had ever admitted this out loud to anyone, even herself. After spending that many months in solitude, in her head, a lot of things had surfaced. The biggest thing was her fear of herself. When she looked in the mirror, she felt disgust. She wished she could have looked at her reflection and saw anyone else because she didn't want to be Adelaide anymore. Adelaide was a monster, a killer. She loathed herself.

Peter's heart twisted at the sight of her so completely broken like this. He had no idea that she had been going through all of that alone. He felt embarrassed to call himself her best friend when he clearly was the worst friend she could have.

No one should have to go through this alone. Especially not Ada.

He moved closer to her on the couch and wrapped his arms around her in a comforting embrace without thinking twice and she easily sunk into his chest as if it was second nature, clinging to him as the tears took over.

"Hey, shh," he whispered softly, gently soothing her hair with his hand, "It's okay. You're okay. You're okay."

Peter wanted her to feel better. He wanted to show her just how much she deserved to be loved. He wanted to show her that he really, truly was here to stay. He didn't need a reason – she was reason enough. Peter closed his eyes. The girl crying in his arms deserved the world. And maybe he couldn't give that to her, but the least he could do was show her that she deserved it. She deserved to be loved just as much as anyone else.

Slowly, her crying subsided, but she didn't move from his embrace.

"I'm sorry," she sniffled into his sweater.

"No, no, please don't be sorry," he said softly, scrunching his eyebrows, "None of this is your fault, okay? In fact, I don't know how you didn't break down sooner."

"I'm scared, Pete," she whispered, closing her eyes, "I'm scared of being in a relationship and I'm scared of being alone— I don't know what to do. I just want to be normal."

"You are normal, love," he sighed quietly, hugging her closer to his chest. He closed his eyes, tucking her head under his chin. "So, so normal. Everything you're feeling is completely normal."

"Then why don't I feel like it is?" she sniffled.

"You will," he whispered, "I promise."

"I know this isn't what you wanted to hear. I'm sorry," she mumbled, laughing sadly. Peter swallowed, staring fixedly at a blank spot on the wall.

I don't want to take baby steps, Ned. I just want...I just want to tell her everything. I really, really like her, man. She's just...She's Ada, you know? She's perfect.

"Don't worry," he said quietly, "Everything is going to be okay. We don't have to rush into anything if you're not comfortable with it. We have all the time you need, okay? And when you're ready...I promise I'll still be here."

Any sane person would have ran away long ago. They would have given up on her after learning the degree that she had been broken to. She was impossible to fix again. Yet, Peter was still here and he was promising to stay by her side as she weathered her storm. Adelaide felt like crying again after hearing him say those words. Instead, she held back her tears and held him closer, sinking herself deeper into the depths of his warm and familiar sweater.

It was the first time she had ever broken down like this in front of him, she realized. When he needed a shoulder to cry on, she was always there. But she had never allowed him to be the same for herself. Whenever she cried, she did so alone, hugging herself and thinking about what excuse she would make for her red eyes and red nose if someone asked. But for the first time, she was falling apart into Peter's arms and instead of feeling embarrassed, she felt comfortable.

"Thank you for understanding," she whispered into his chest, "I don't deserve you." Peter closed his eyes again, burying his face into her hair and tightening his arms around her.

If only she knew that it was just the opposite.

"I will always be here for you, Ada," he whispered back, "However you need me."

It was his turn to be there for her. After everything she had done for him, now she needed him and Peter wasn't going to put himself before her again. He had already made that mistake several times before.

She had shown him how much she cared when she gone the extra mile just to be sure that he was safe or he wasn't going to make a mistake he would regret later. Ada had already shown him how much he meant to her. But now, he had to show her just how much he cared about her. It was her turn. She needed his help and he would be there for her, however she needed him. Even if she just needed a shoulder to cry on or someone to talk to, he would be that person for her because he cared. And he wouldn't ask for anything in return.

Because before he could be anything more, he had to be her friend first.

And maybe, just maybe, Peter thought he could put her back together piece by piece. She needed someone to show her that she did belong. With everyone, in this life, with him, like this, in his arms. He needed to show her that not everyone in her life was not meant to leave – definitely not him. She needed to see that she deserved to be loved – so, so much. And, in those moments that she was cradled against his chest, clinging him like a lifeline, he decided that he would take that responsibility onto himself. He was going to show Ada just how much she was worth.

He was going to help her love herself.

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A/N: ALRIGHT WHO IS CUTTING ALL THESE DAMN ONIONS

AND WHO GAVE THE RIGHT FOR PETER TO BE SO SOFT?? he so babie 🥺🥺

alas, i know this isn't what you wanted ada to say but i promise that things will be this soft if not more soft than this from here on out as peter tries to show her how much she belongs with him :,) so for the next few chapters, just sit back, relax and don't worry about any demons or villains getting in the way because i think we deserve some fluff this year. ada's earned this 😤

as to when will they actually get together? i'm not a 100% about that myself, but i promise they won't take as long as they did to admit their feelings to each other haha.

side note, i hope ada's situation made sense? like i know it's some deep psychology shit (that i totally didn't use from personal experience 👀) but i figured that things aren't all fun and games up in her head so this felt most realistic

but believe me. i want them to kiss as much as you do 😭

i know i already said this but i literally feel high off the fact that my semester is actually really over. i feel like i closed my eyes in august and now that i woke up, it's suddenly december and i'm almost 19 😳 time is wild in a pandemic

question: you think ada made the right call?

next up: a surprise chapter with mORE FLUFFF !! ✨✨