Chapter 16

She knows

“Daddy!” Lily shrieked, bending in her knees while shaking Lisa’s arms lying on my floor, while I remained stunned looking at her reddish side profile, eyes are closed as she groaned loud, making Lily to back off and went to me, tugging my arm as she pointed her other mommy on the floor.

“Help her mommy! She’s sick!” she squealed, making me came up to my senses and bent down to level my sight on hers. “Where did you meet her Lily?”

Before she can speak up, the village chief came running towards our door “Is the lawyer already here Jennie?”

I stand up, “What is she doing here chief? Where’s the lawyer Kim Hanbin you are talking about? What is Lisa Manoban doing here in my house?” I asked in shock, still not believing Lisa is here at my house! And she just saw Lily!

“I’m sorry but Kim Hanbin can’t make it and asked Lisa Manoban to take the case for us Jennie, she’s our representative now” he explained while getting Lisa up

“What?” I almost screamed

“Oh she’s really drunk, they’ve gone too hard for the drinks” he grumbled and bring one Lisa’s arm on his shoulder, she's still in her deep sleep and slightly snoring. He made her lie on our sofa, Lily run towards her and watch her sleep

“Wake up daddy, wakey wakey.” she whispered, slightly shaking Lisa’s arm again

I grab her little hands “Lily she’s asleep, don’t disturb her”

Sweet Jesus, she’s calling Lisa her daddy just the first time she saw her! What is she doing here and what is really happening?!

“But mommyyy..” she pouts and started swaying her hands holding mine and stomping both of her feet

“Lily”  I warned, she then pouted even more and just hung her head low before silently making her way to her room

I fought back my tears at the sight, oh god

“Jennie” the chief suddenly spoke, I turned to him, only to notice his stares are now exchanging from Lily’s door and to Lisa now lying in my sofa.

“Is she? Lily’s..?”

I grab his arm, tugging in a pleading way as I stared into his eyes “Please change our legal representative chief, I can-t face her now, Lisa can’t be here! She can’t be in here!”

His eyes widened at my sudden outburst, he softly bring my hands down and shook his head “We can’t Jennie, the trial will be next week from now on and it will took days if we hire another one, I’m sorry”

I seated defeated in front of the sofa Lisa was lying, her brown ponytailed hair is in a mess while her suit is slightly dishevelled,  Jisoo was right, just one glance and one look at her, you will already know the truth behind Lily’s identity.

“So she’s Lily’s damn, I can’t believe this..” he mumbled in shock while staring at Lisa’s sleeping face.

Her one arm is hanging in the air, the chief grabs it and slowly placed her long arm on her chest, my eyes immediately caught that golden ring in her ring finger, I hastily looked away.

So she’s already engage or even married, why am I still hurting when I’ve already accepted the truth a long time ago? Why there is still a part of me believed she’s still looking for me after all those years? Where in the first place I’m the one who run away and hid?

I stand up once again, making sure the village chief will not see my teary eyes nor hear me sniff, I grab his arm again. He turned to me, with a slight empathy flashing in his eyes “Please don’t tell Lisa Lily is her daughter, please don’t tell anyone about this chief I’m begging you” I begged

“But Jennie..” he frowned “If she will see Lily, she’ll know. We can’t hide the truth from her now that she’ll be staying in your house for three days”

I shut my eyes, heaving a deep breath while massaging slightly my temples “Can we just send her home and hire another lawyer? She really can’t be in here, with us”

“I’m afraid we can’t anymore, Lisa Manoban is our last resort and knowing her status in court, we will surely win the case Jennie. I’m sorry I can’t let this chance slip, our village is at stake you know that” he explained

I only nod, knowing I don’t have the choice to be selfish this time and only think about myself, I sighed “About Lily being her daughter, can you please keep quiet about it and don't tell anyone? And  can you also please ask the whole villagers to keep silent and don't talk about Lily once she’ll ask questions about her? Please?”

“What?” he asked, a bit shock and disappointed “Why are you doing this? That’s so selfish Jennie, Lily deserves to-

“I know but you see this?” I grab Lisa’s left hand and showed her ring “She’s already engage and I won’t ruin her marriage again, no not this time anymore. She suffered a lot in the past because of the things I’ve done, I won’t do it again, I will not ruin her life again so please, do this for me..”

The chief was slightly confused at what I am saying but in the end he just agreed and left. The moment he closed the door the tears I’ve been fighting back already flowed from my eyes. I wiped them away using the back of my hand as I’m trying to arrange Lisa’s body in the sofa, my eyes caught her ring, it was still the same ring that I wrapped to her years ago, she’s probably happy with Irene now.

After placing a blanket on her, I made my way to my daughter’s room, only to see her already asleep in her bed while hugging her favourite teddy bear. My heart sank, even when they are sleeping they really looked alike, I settled on her side and decided I will sleep here tonight. Tomorrow, I will let Joaquin take her and won’t let Lisa see her, at any costs.

“Are you sure about this Jen? You know Lily can’t stand without you for even just a day, she’ll look for you and surely she will-

“I already resolved that, I explained you will take her into a field trip and she happily agreed. Just let her call me when she misses me, it’s just three days Joaquin and Lisa will leave, I can’t let her see Lily” I said as I arrange Lily’s things inside her bag, I have called Joaquin to come here early in the morning to take Lily away, before her drunk mother lying on our sofa will wake up.

“Are you really sure about this?” he asked again,  carrying the yawning Lily in his arms while rubbing her eyes

“Mommy?” she immediately looks for me, I grab her from Joaquin “I’m here baby” I kissed her nose

“Where’s daddy?”

Me and Joaquin looked at each other, Lily made her way down and walks towards our living room, we immediately followed and my heart broke at the sight of her caressing her mother’s cheeks, trying to wake her up like what she usually do to me every morning I woke up late

“Lily we can’t wake Ms. Lawyer up, she’s still sleeping” I made her turn to me, she raises her one eyebrow and looks back at Lisa before turning to me again

“But she’s my daddy mommy, Lily want to talk to her” she pouts

I sighed and cups both of her cheeks “You will, after your three days’ vacation with uncle Akin” I lied. I hated myself for that, I just fucking lied to my own daughter.

How can loving a person so much can be this so painful?

Her face lightened up upon hearing what I said, hurriedly she run towards her uncle Joaquin standing in our back and motioned him to pick her up, Joaquin take Lily in his arms and went in front of me

“I will ask you this again Jennie, are you sure you’re doing this?”

I nod, taking Lily’s bag and handing it to him “It’s just three days Joaquin, bear with me. In three days she will leave and won’t come back here anymore, after that we’ll talk about your offer being Lily’s daddy”

No more waiting, no more wishing we can be a complete family. Believing in impossible is stupid, and I was stupid enough to believe in that faint hope I’ve hidden inside myself for years, hope that she’ll look for me again but who am I kidding anyway? Of course she’ll let me and decided to continue her life. Now that the reality is in front of my face, I have decided to stop hoping and to choose to also live our lives in our own, without her, completely out of our lives.

Joaquin was stunned, his eyebrows are now furrowing for a second before he suddenly grabs my hand and kissed it with his lips “Sure Jen Jen, I will talk to you in three days” he smiled “Let’s go Lily? Kiss your mommy goodbye first”

Lily cups my cheeks and kissed me on the lips “Bye mommy! Lily will call you!”

I only smiled when Joaquin’s car left my house, I came back inside to placed Lily’s toys inside her room and locked it. Lisa was still sleeping peacefully in my sofa so I decided to cook a soup that would soothe her hangover once she woke up.

I know, it will be very very awkward once she saw me again and I honestly don’t know what to act, what should I say when she'll she me after four years.

Should I say hello? It’s me, Jennie Kim, or hi? How are you after all these years? My father is still on the run and I don’t have freaking idea where in the universe he is now.

“Uhm excuse me? You must be the secretary the village chief was talking about”

There it goes

I stopped on slicing the carrot and slowly faced her, one second, two seconds and three until my eyes met again those brown eyes I really missed so much to stare at.

Her mouth immediately went open and her eyebrows furrowed, I knew it, she’s still angry at me!

“You?” she chuckled and rubs her mouth with her hand, she shook her head before she slowly walks towards me.

Her stance, her overall appeal after all those years never varied, in fact she became more daunting and even dangerous

In an instinct I leaned on my kitchen counter, afraid she might really hurt me this time after running away from her twice. She stopped when she noticed my arms are now shaking on my sides

“Oh fuck, I can’t believe I will find you here”

I look up, only to notice her brown eyes are now fixed on me, I didn’t speak instead I stared at it, longingly and for fuck sake her effect on me is still the same. This is so cruel, how will I able to move on from now on?

“After four years of hiding I never thought you’d be in here Jennie, I still can’t fucking believe I even slept in your house”

She leaned close, filling the gap between us while my stares are only fixed in those pair of brown eyes. How I miss staring at them, how I miss her scent, how I miss being this so close to her, how I wanted to let my feelings control me again but I stopped, took a deep breath and looked away, turning my back and returning to the soup I am cooking for her

She’s already happy with someone Jennie, you can’t ruin that again.

“How are you now?” she spoke in my back, soon enough I felt her on my side, hands are on the pockets of her suit while observing me trying to cook

“I’m fine Lisa” I finally regained my ability to speak, stirring the soup, I took a spoon to taste it, it seems okay.

Lisa cleared her throat, making me look up to her face flashing a serious expression, she opened her mouth, trying to say something but then she blinks and just licks her lower lip. I watch how she made her way to our dining table and removed her coat, leaving her in a white sleeve folded in her forearms.

She seated in Lily’s seat and stared at me, like stare, I mean stare, literally stare. What is she doing?

“You done? I’m hungry” she spoke

I nod and silently serve the soup and breakfast I made for her, after that I started to walk away and leave her behind when she suddenly grabs my wrist, making those electricity I never felt for long years travel again in every part of my body, damn it.

“Wait don’t leave me behind, eat with me”

I sighed, I know it’s useless if I refused, I am her secretary assigned by the chief of the village I am currently residing so I have no choice but to endure this awkwardness starting to develop between us for the sake of my work.

“Is your father..” she started while drinking her cup of water, I stopped on eating, I know where is this going

“He didn’t show himself in four years, I didn’t have any news about him” I answered

She nods and continued to eat, staring at her, I gulped before I earn the guts to start a conversation “In those years you’re hunting him, you didn’t have a single lead?”

She bore her eyes on me, making me flinch slightly and I hid it away buy drinking my water. “None, your father is a professional hide and seek player, my men suspects he is hiding from mountains to mountains, avoiding the social world cause he knows the moment he step in Seoul or any city here in Korea, he’ll die”

I knew it, she won’t think twice to kill my father once she saw him. I wonder where he is right now

“Oh okay..” I awkwardly said, she stayed silent

This is really awkward

“How about you? How’s your life in here?” she spoke again, she stopped eating this time and just stared at me again

“I’m fine, I’m doing great actually” yes, with your daughter actually

“Without me?”

I looked up, shock and stunned at her sudden question. Why would she ask me that?

“I saw some men clothes in your living room , surely it wasn’t from your father. Are you already married?”

I gulped and hurriedly shook my head, “I’m not, it just from Joaquin when he’s visiting me in here”

“Joaquin?” she furrowed her eyebrows this time, like her usual expression when she’s examining my face

“My friend”

That made her nod, heave a slight sigh and continued eating.

“These are the documents you needed for the case, you can ask the village chief to provide you additional information in case these are still lacking” I said as I placed the documents in her table, we’re here inside the village office, starting our work.

“You work here?” she asks, wandering her eyes around the small office of the chief. “Yes, you need something?”

“Ah no, you may go” she said and started to read the documents. Her glasses was on and she ponytailed her hair again, she’s wearing this white v neck shirt under her semi formal coat and just simple faded jeans.

That was the sign for me to return to my table, I fulfilled everything she wanted me to do. I sometimes felt her staring at me on my peripheral vision and just when I turn my head to her, she returns in typing on her laptop, I don’t know if I’m imaging it or what but nonetheless I just shrugged it off and return to my work

Lunchtime had come, and soon enough, the village chief along with his officers came and introduced themselves one by one to Lisa. Lisa in the whole time we’re having our lunch was serious, she’s now conversing with the chief while I silently eat my meal in the corner, not wanting to talk to anyone when I suddenly felt someone seated beside me

It was Bam, the son of the village chief “Why are you eating alone here Jennie? Come join us” he winked and placed his one arm on the chair at my back.

I removed his hand “I don’t want to meddle with their business, what are you doing here? Go and join them”

“Nah I like it here on your side” he winks again and even leaned closer, I moved away from him, trying to disregard his stares now on the part of my chest that was slightly exposed because of my clothing

“You”

He only stopped when someone stands in front of us, it was Lisa frowning at Bam on my side

“What?” Bambam looks up, still not removing his hand on my back where Lisa’s stares are now fixed at.

“Removed your hands off my secretary” Lisa growled, she didn’t wait for Bam to answer and just shoved the man away from me.

I look up to her, mouth hanging open as I watch how she removed her coat and wraps it around my shoulder, she leaned her hand on my table and bent down to level her eyesight on me “You shouldn’t wear clothes like that when we are working”

“O-okay..” I stuttered involuntarily, she returned in what she’s doing with the chief and his officers on her side watching me chatching my breath, none of them or any of the villagers dared to talk about my lively daughter.

The chief made his promise to keep his mouth shut even I know he’s still can’t believe my daughter is a carbon copy of the lawyer he’s now talking.

Our first day together ended peacefully, she’s now making her way into my house and laid on my sofa. I followed her and stop in her front

“Your room is in this way” I said, she only nod and silently brings her things.

I lead the way and pass Lily’s room, I stopped and opened the guest room where Lisa is staying. She entered and turn on the lights, I excused before leaving her arranging her things. I returned to my room and took a quick shower, I also change into my night pj’s before I made my way to our kitchen to make myself a glass of milk, I was about to call Joaquin when my phone rings for a call coming from him

I smiled “Hello?”

“Mommy! Lily went to theme park this day! I enjoyed a lot with uncle Akin!”

I laughed only by hearing her squealing on the other line

“Really? Did you enjoy your day baby?”

“Yes yes mommy! Lily had so mucccch fuuuuunnnn!” she prolonged her last words, I leaned back on the counter smiling so wide hearing my daughter’s cute little voice talking about how happy she is today

“Wow that’s ama-

I stopped when Lisa suddenly entered the room, her eyebrows are now furrowing when she opens my fridge and gets a pitcher of water, she gets a glass on my cabinet and placed it next to me, silently pouring the water and raises her one eyebrow when she noticed I was watching her

“What? Continue your talks with your baby, just pretend I’m not here” she rudely said before she rolled her eyes on me and walks out of the kitchen

Uh what?

“Mommy? Are you listening? Hello mommyy? Mommy you're not listening to meeeee!!” Lily started her tantrums now, making me came up to my senses and immediately calm her down.

After my call with my daughter, I went to our living room to check my doors when I saw Lisa typing her laptop in my sofa, both legs are placed in the mini table while she’s glaring on her screen with her glasses on.

I silently check the locks before I quietly made my way again to my room

“Hey..” she suddenly spoke low, making me jump a little bit before turning to her “Yes, you need something?”

“I want a cup of coffee and I need you to assist me in this, we need to finish this by tomorrow” she rudely threw a thick folder on the table in front of me

“Can it wait until tomorrow? We still have a lot of time, surely you are not rushing things-

“Then what are you gonna do? Talk to your baby the whole night? No, help me with this and assist me" she raises her one eyebrow now "What are you staring at and what are you doing? Go and make me a cup of coffee already..” she obviously rolled her eyes on me

I bit my lower lip to stop a smile from escaping, no Jennie she’s already happy. Don’t get your hopes up, she’s already engage

I put the cup of coffee in the table before I seated on the single sofa next to hers. I grab the folder she threw earlier and started to scan its pages

“What do you want me to do?” I asked without looking at her

She glared at me again “What are you doing in there?”

I lift my head, raising my one eyebrow while hers are still in a thin line “Reading? You wanted me to check this right?”

“Yes but that’s not the point, why are you sitting far away from me? Sit here” she taps the wide empty space next to hers “Sit right next to me”

-

“I’m done, here’s