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& it feels like the four remaining moments flew by so quickly , but they were everything- they meant everything & I love every moment of it - except this & I know they said it'd be worth it , but right now. In this very moment - I wanted it out. 

" Get it outtttttt of me !!" I yelled at Zach - screamed directly in his face , as he walked fast alongside the bed they were pushing me in. It felt like my water broke hours ago & the baby was ready to come out - but everyone was moving too slow , yet everything was moving so fast.

" I hate you. I hate you. I hate you." I chanted as I squeezed his hand - I could see the pain in his eyes. But I couldn't stop.

" I love you. I love you so much." he kissed my hand & I wish I could feel the butterflies that I knew erupted from his sudden gesture. But all I could feel was pain - crippling , crippling pain & I wanted it to be over.

He was scrubbed in now & by my side.

They were telling me to push. PUSHHHH. But I was tired. I couldn't. I couldn't anymore. I was just too tired.

" Baby, you can do this." I looked up , blinking away the tears in my eyes , as he smiled - he hated seeing me in pain - but he smiled knowing our beautiful baby boy was almost here. All I had to do was push. Just one more time - you can do this Izzy.

And I did. I pushed. The crying followed after & I knew he was okay. They held him out to me , after he was all cleaned up , I couldn't help the tears that flowed down my cheers , as I looked at how beautiful he is. I looked up at Zach - who do couldn't hold his composure together. This made me smile even more.

" Do you want to hold him ?"

He nodded - wiping away the tears , before stretching out his arms to take him.

I don't know when I dosed off - but I did.

I woke up to blue balloons & gifts & I room full of my family & friends & friends that have became family.

" She's awake." Mac signaled & they all turned their attention from Zach holding the baby to me. Smiling. Coming closer to hug me or gently squeeze my hand.

We'd name him. Zach & I. We named our baby.

Zye'Air Jeanté Kelley.

~*~

My mom was currently carrying me home. Zach & the baby was already there. The nursery was complete. Thanks to Mac , Becca & my mom. Oh & how could I forget , Zach & Joshua.

I was completely in love. With our baby , the nursery & him. I couldn't wait to get home.
But what was waiting on me was even better. I was completely & utterly surprised as I opened the door to find the love of my life on one knee. My baby held safely in one hand. As he held a box that held a beautiful diamond ring - that glistened just a bright as my babies eyes that were staring back at me , dancing with little new born happiness & love. We created that. Together. I turned my attention from the baby & back to him , tears falling down my faces as I nodded.

"Yes !"

" You're not gonna let me ask first." he smiled.

" The answer's a million times yes - but go ahead."

" Will you marry me ?"

" Yes." I rushed over to him , waiting on him to get up , as to not squash my baby.

My mother took him from Zach's hand.

& I waited no second to jump into his arms. As our lips collided together - perfectly molding.

" I love you." he mouthed against my lips.

" I love you." I said back , not taking my lips off his.

~*~

My head went back to my conversation with Rebecca at the beginning of summer - the summer I had met Zach. That was a lot of summers ago. But it was the only summer that mattered. The summer that changed my life as I knew it. I was wondering out loud , so she could hear. So she could give some sort of answer. I'd noticed she was busier - I knew she had met someone , that was she giving her undivided attention to. Which made her the perfect person for me to ask. So I did.

" What's it like to have someone fall for you ? & when I say fall - I mean fall , like really really fall for you - hard ! Like not ' I just wanna get into your pants - panties' because they think you're 'attractive' or because they 'feel like it.' But because they're consumed by your very being - every little piece of you.  Everything imperfection- that they believe makes you even more perfect - even much interesting. In love with how you talk , the way you smile - laugh. The way you just exist. Just fall for you & I never imagining getting up & walking away. What's that like ?"

She was just shocked. She sat there with her mouth open.

" You're such a hopeless romantic." she laughed , " I guess you'll have to find out & tell me."

& I did. Not only did someone fall for me in that way. I fell too - hard. I fell in love twice. I never knew someone could. But Zach made that possible. I fell in love with him first. Then he gave me a beautiful gift. That I loved. He came in the form of beautiful baby boy named Zye'Air & I couldn't get enough of either of my boys. I'd fallen in love with them completely. They'd consumed me entirely & I was okay with that. I was okay with loving them , because I knew they loved me back & that was perfect. That was enough for me.

I pulled the sheet over Zach , as I kissed Zye's forehead. I gently closed the door , making my way into the kitchen. I poured myself a glass of milk. I jumped at the hands that snaked their way around my waist, looking up to meet Zach's eyes.

" You left me all alone." he pouted , I tipped & kisses his lips.

" Wanted some milk."

he nodded.

" Thank you."

" For what ?" I asked  - confused.

" Everything. Loving me. Not giving up on me. Staying with me. Waiting for me. Not killing Zy. For Zy - I really love that boy." he chuckled , as he thought about his son. " & for being my beautiful wife & baby mother. Thank you for our family - for being my family. You & Zy & Zane." " Just a million times thank you. I love you."

I pecked his lips. " Thank you husband & you're also very welcome. I wouldn't change anything - even if I could. I'd do it all over again. Even on a never ending loop. I would."

Our lips found each other again & I don't know when they parted or when we made our way to bed. But I didn't question it or complain. I just melted in his arms , as I fell asleep. Completely forgetting about the spilled milk on the counter. I normally needed it. This was all I needed to fall asleep. Zye'Air not crying & Zach's arms around me.

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