Chapter XVII No Edward Cullen

"It is good to have you back here." Mr. Sardana touched the kid's cheek who held my hand at the inspector's touch. "He looks fitter than ever now."

Tittu obviously did not understand what was told to him but he was well mannered and since Riya and I smiled, he smiled too. Anirudh had a certain errand to run and hence he would drop in later while Riya accompanied me to the station. Since Tittu was here last time, he wasn't uncomfortable as I thought he would be and Mr. Sardana was of course much sweeter and gentle with him.

"So, what have you two decided?"

Decisions and I had a very lasting relationship. Once I took a decision there was no turning back. I'd fall and die with the decisions I took but not go back. It wasn't just me; the same blood ran in my family too, passing such a stubborn gene from my father to both us girls. However, before I took the decision, I had to think and analyze every bit of the actuality and reasons for the same. Never once did I hesitate before complying with my final decision.

This wasn't the case that day.

I couldn't sleep much last night for the thought of Tittu and his future was holding me from laying still. After a couple of hours, Riya was up too, worried for the same reason. That early morning, we sat down together and tried making sense of the situation. The facts had to be scrutinized and appropriate actions were to be taken.

It sounded like an EVS project to me.

Riya judged me for that lame joke and I shrugged, feeling all the more alive than sleepy. Rohan and Raghav were forgotten and Anirudh was kept aside for a later time. For now, we two had a decision to make and on that decision the life of a five-year-old lay. If this same thing was to be thought and pondered on two weeks ago then the answer was clear and there wasn't much to worry about.

Now, we were clearly attached to the kid. The negatives turned into positives and the no's were a miraculous yes's by now. The kid had unknowingly moved us all and right now, the four of us wanted him safe, no matter where he would be. But no matter how much we wanted him well, we knew he couldn't be with us forever.

These were the reasons we jotted down why Tittu staying with us was a problem and a not.

Riya: Cannot stay with him all day... life outside the house is a total wreck... cannot cook for him daily...dampening videos and less practice... constant worry about his sickness... help him eat and take daily care

Purvi: cannot stay with him all day... have to attend lectures and study... will not have the energy to tame his nightmares... cannot spend unnecessarily on him... cannot worry about his health.

However, when we had to write the reasons he could stay with us, it was a complete toss.

Riya: his smile... his innocent eyes... no tantrums... no noise nor drama... eats what is served...cute attention seeker...speaks through beautiful actions...loves my food

Purvi:?

When Riya asked me why there wasn't any positive reason in my paper, I just shrugged saying that there wasn't one. In fact, there were so many reasons I wanted to keep him that the paper wouldn't be enough for it. How could I not like that kid? He was the reason Riya and I were close, the reason Rohan and I were on better and clearer terms and Anirudh was my friend.

That kid had taught me to think and care about people. He knew me, loved me and adored me even though I had no clue about him. His eyes spoke a thousand words, something he wasn't capable of actually speaking. His smile lit the entire house with liveliness and joy. There had to be some connection because I felt his nightmares, his loneliness and him.

The first time I hugged him, to all the nights where I held him, it was blissful.

How majestically he could tell tales to all of us and know that we wouldn't understand him. There was a sense of maturity in that five-year-old which was so uncommon in this era. He was intelligent and fast in catching with the pace of our lifestyle. His senses were so strong that he knew I was around with him every night. Those tears he sheds when he missed someone, breaks my heart.

It is like he is a part of me.

This was odd because I could find no connection between him and me!

"Is there no faster way to you know... find his parents?" Riya questioned Mr. Sardana who shook his head.

"We are trying our best."

What connection could there be between him and I? I watched the kid who was in Anirudh's arms, pleased to have him with us. There was a hollow feeling inside of me, trying to think hard and find out what was wrong.

Riya and I had decided finally to give the kid to an orphanage which Anirudh himself was involved in, that way he was safe and not our problem anymore. However, when the time came to actually let him go, I felt sick and guilty.

Mr. Sardana smiled warmly at his son who had Tittu in his arms, and was walking towards us. Unlike always, Anirudh had a small smile and looked a lot stressed than usual. It was like that back when we were here. He just looked at us and nodded, his eyes lingering a bit longer when they met my eyes. He may have not spoken a word as yet but his eyes spoke stories.

Only, I didn't know to decipher them.

"We..." Riya spoke on my behalf, when she looked at me, I nodded in encouragement. "We have decided that Tittu isn't safe with us with the number of times he fell sick and the time we lost him." It was on rare occasions such as these, that Riya was hesitating and nervous. "So, we will let him go."

Both the Sardanas' now looked at me with immediate anticipation as if what Riya spoke was against my will. Though Mr. Sardana had a question on his face wanting to know my where my interest lies, Anirudh was more on the disapproved expression. I couldn't read faces at all because I am not sure what crushed his hopes.

Me not objecting to her decision or me not speaking at all.

"Purvi?"

"Mr. Sardana I completely agree with Riya."

When Riya heard what Mr. Sardana had to tell about the regulations and procedures of both the orphanage and the police complaint we filed, I was trying to read what Anirudh was thinking now.

I was no Edward Cullen to read his mind and why would his opinion matter to me was a question for another day but for now, I had to know. Straining all my concentration on him who didn't quite seem interested in the conversation, he looked at me with a startle.

Nice. Too much glaring works.

He had his lips pressed in a thin line, not unhappy but not sad either. Even though we didn't speak through the medium of speech, we didn't break the eye lock. Titling my head on the left a bit, I raised my chin to ask him what the matter was.

He shook his head in complete denial and smiled. He was not happy by our decision but moreover, he wasn't happy at all today. I raised my brows at him in a question that I knew something was wrong.

Well, he didn't get a chance to answer that because Mr. Sardana raised a question at me. "Gear him up, I'll send two police officers from here by tomorrow and then he won't be your problem anymore."

"What about the note we found with him on the night?"

Mr. Sardana nodded, "we think that the parents...umm didn't really want him and uh... it was probably a very clever trick to deceive you." The always confident officer was now short for words and looking at his son for some reason. "Is there anywhere you have your birthdate disclosed?"

"Some social networking and business profile sites too."

"Anyone could have, I guess, used the information."

It didn't seem too accepting but it for now it was the only good reason. We shook hands with Mr. Sardana and the sleeping Tittu jumped happily from Anirudh's arms to mine. He may have been a kid of five but the poor soul was lighter than air as compared to others his age. Tittu crossed his hands over my neck and kept his head still on my shoulder.

He was making harder for us to let him go.

"The Mumbai Police thanks the two of you who have been good citizens and have helped a kid be safe." Mr. Sardana nodded politely at us, Riya and I couldn't help but smile at the gratitude.

Anirudh went ahead with Riya to catch a cab while I strolled behind slowly, walking with Mr. Sardana who offered to let us out. Tittu was asleep not knowing anything about the shift in his residence, I sipped my hand on his head as we walked out.

"Thank you Mr. Sardana." I returned the gratitude, "we have no idea what would Riya, I and Tittu do without you. You have been more than generous to us."

Whenever we met the sturdy police officer, one could smell the authority and power he carried like a rose in a bouquet. However now when I was alone with him, he was always so gentle and humble. "Tittu is lucky to have you, only I wished circumstances were fortunate enough for you two to be together"

"I don't quite understand, sir."

Riya waved at me from across the distance, signaling that they caught the cab.

"You see, beta, orphanages are doing a really good job by being a foster family." He paused and gave me one of the warmest smiles. "But real family, is always closer. There are fights and misunderstandings and loads of misunderstandings, but at the end, family stays."

It was like he knew me, like he could see right through me. This was what, the third conversation I was having with him yet he sensed my feelings. Maybe that is why Anirudh could do it; his father was a feelings reader too and would have made an excellent psychologist.

Just like his son would be one day.

We stood at the gate of the station, Anirudh expectantly waiting for us at the cab, "you guys have provided him a home no orphanage could ever give him, you know why?"

He didn't real wait for me to answer.

"Because real family is the one who loves you for who you are, what you are and wherever you are. It takes time to understand this, but one day you will, beta."

It was true that we four had given a lot to the kid, including our time and efforts. We cried with him, laughed with him, adored and hated him and no matter what, that kid was always at the back of our minds every damn second of the day. It was also true that the kid had himself taught us so many things.

I mean he could reunite two long lost childhood best friends, two girls who absolutely hated each other's guts and two awkward adults who never really spoke to each other into one big group of understanding adults. That had to be something to be remembered from, doesn't it?

Mr. Sardana then touched Tittu's head, blessing him for his future and then touched my chin lovingly.

Like a father would do to his daughter.

That thought filled my heart with warmth and distress.

Anirudh walked towards me as I descended to him, he took the kid from my arms and we sat in the cab. The drive home was silent and thoughtful.
L Anirudh, who sat in the passenger's seat with the kid, was calculating and still while Riya and I had second thoughts about our decision. It was Tittu who was at stake here and even though without him our lives would be stable and silent, it just wouldn't be peaceful. Along with that, some other words did strike my thinking nerves.

'Real family accepts you are and what you are'

"Isn't it great?"

She studied the paper and then looked at me curiously, "It is. Where did you learn this art, oh my little sister?"

Her drama was so uncounted for, I swear. It was just stick figures on a boat but I really liked drawing even though I sucked at it too.

Shrugging I smiled at her, though we were four years apart in age, she and I had everything clear between us as water.

"Let me see your results."

The firm, authoritative voice startled the both of us. My elder sister gave her report card obediently and got her share of praises while nervous wreck train as I was, had passed standard third with grace marks.

Again.

"This kind of bullshit." My father tore the drawing in two. "This will ruin your career before it even starts. Why don't you learn something from your sister and get studying?"

My head was low and my eye-catching hold of the tiles now, eyeing the paper which flew by the breeze of the fan, "you are not even good at drawing for God's sake. When can we be ever proud of you?"

Someday was what I thought that day.

Never is what I thought now. My parents would never be proud of me and never account me for their happiness or pride whatsoever. Mr. Sardana lied when he spoke about family always being there for you whenever the world isn't.

Because my family wasn't there when I was standing and wanted to be noticed and it won't be there when I want to hide.

_

"Alright, I have readied his bags for tomorrow with all his toys."

Riya's voice was dull and duller if that was even a word. No one was in the mood to actually do something not because we were tired but because we did not want to leave Tittu. Once we were back home the sleeping kid was tucked in my bed for one of the last times and we helped pack his bag with his necessities. My roommate though tired and thoughtful about certain things, beheld a fresh aura. Even Anirudh asked me about her lighter smile and that bright glow on her face.

When I told him, that Riya had let me in on her life and let her out of the past, he smiled at the transformation and told me that I should try it too. He didn't even joke about it; he was dead serious when he said that.

He was dead serious the entire day for crying out loud.

There was something which he was holding against me, something he wanted to tell me back there at the station but didn't, something he was unsure about. And the fact that he was upset and not reacting at anything was upsetting me.

More like pissing me off but gah, how does it matter?

At lunch we had the fourth and last member of the club enter in our short meet and disturb the really silent and not needed atmosphere. The fourth of the gang couldn't be up at the police station because he had some urgent meeting to attend and had let us handle the decision of the kid completely. Rohan was grown more mature and less sarcastic with his choice of words when he spoke to me and the love which Anirudh and I saw in his eyes was somewhat evident in Riya's too.

We ate lunch exchanging only pickles and no words, feeling dreadful and empty. The food was tasteless too since Riya had forgotten to add salt to it and now the when we added the spice, it just wasn't the right taste. Rohan sat on the bean bag chair, eyeing his plate and Anirudh who sat across from me, on the dining table kept mixing the food with the spoon. Not one morsel reached his mouth.

Riya and I who were seated on the sofa, didn't eat much because we both had lost our appetite for the time. Though I still had the plate in my hand, Riya had left hers untouched and now stared at a blank space ahead of her. The four of us were quiet and mum for obvious reasons.

The only one who was happy and fun filled was the five-year-old who was cheerful after his nice long nap. The kid who always sensed our unhappy state of mind, didn't really see us through this time because for the sake of him, we exchanged our long faces for the happy ones.

*I dreamt of so much so much and lots of ice-creams*

Smiling at his expressions, I fed him the rice mixed with daal, he continued to explain his dream to me which was filled with colors and cream and happiness. None of which we could actually feel right now.

He tapped Riya on her cheek and grabbed her attention and then did the same set of action he did earlier. "Hey love, what are you chirpy about?"

Sure, he didn't get what she said, but her attention was all he wanted. He showed his tiny teeth and pointed at me, "what is he saying?" Rohan asked when he noticed Tittu signing at Riya in bullet speed.

"He said he dreamt of ice-creams, loads of it."

The air was clearing the sadness away and bringing in the light we were seeking. The kid who was why we were depressed is the reason why we're cheering up. He opened his mouth in anticipation to say something only to be accompanied by his hands who did all the talking. To actually been able to illustrate feelings into signs was a tough job and hands down to the one who taught him.

His mother probably, for I wasn't sure that fathers could score well in the parenting department.

Anirudh chuckled softly, his smile returning and that dimple forming on his left cheek, "and what else?"

Since I was the sole translator of Tittu's language, I watched the kid with keen interest, really wanting to know what he was happy about. That and Anirudh wanted to know too, so. He was rapidly moving his hands but I could catch some of it. Riya fed him at intervals, laughing when he laughed, smiling when he smiled.

"Happy... dancing... ice-cream." I read some of his signs, he pointed at all the four of us, "everyone..." then he pointed at him, "him..." And then he bowled us out of the pavilion saying, "Home."

So, we were back to square one now and finished the lunch in peace. How we are going to survive without him was the biggest question!