Chapter V Monsters in your head

Checklists are useful as many say. For me though, they are very useful. It was organized, extremely helpful for the minor OCD’s we all have and it gives at least a satisfaction that things are happening.

So, what if they are happening only on a piece of paper.

“A pair of shorts?”

“Check.”

“Few t-shirts?”

“Check.”

“And eatables?”

“Uncheck.”

“Why?”

Riya gave me one of her unnamed glares. “Because eatables are so not vague. The entire food court sums up in eatables.”

The fair points which my roommate makes, is to some extent a little praise worthy, but just a little though.

“I don't know what a four slash five-year old should eat?” Justifying my vagueness, I shrugged, as I handed the list back to her.

My eyes wandered from Riya’s soulful gaze on the list and then around the mart. After a lot of discussion with both Anirudh and Rohan (the latter making some really good points), we decided to do a bit shopping for the kid. I was totally against the matter but it seemed fair when Anirudh told me that the expenses would probably be reimbursed once the two weeks pass and it would not be too good for the kid to stay in the same set of clothes. Rohan who was keenly listening to all of us even added that he’d pay the cost of the kid’s supplies to which I was thankful for because my monthly expenses were already way past the limit.

However, Riya let her ego take the best of her and refused any kind of help from the former. So, we were back to square one and decided to split the expenses in half.

These two really had to sort their complications and at least keep me and my planned budget out of it.

It was strange to actually have the four of us be in a conversation, lest getting a definite result out of it. Riya who was still thinking and scrutinizing the list for some reason, made me loiter away from our shopping cart which was now full. With the intent of getting a new one, I moved away from the food court. However I halted at the book section, the shiny new books always garnering my attention.

The touch of the new printed pages, the smell of the yellow dusty books and the aura of being in a bookstore was enough to keep me calm and composed. My hand searched for my wallet as I hoped to find some bucks to at least pick a thriller book or a rom-com. Sure buying the book was unplanned, but hey, there is always enough money to buy books.

As I picked one of the Dan Brown’s next bestselling, a book titled ‘Language with hands’ caught my attention and I couldn't help but get a hold of it.

It was colorful, had pictures but it sure was thick.

“How much is this?”

“Rs 700 but we have a festive discount of 30%, so that is Rs 500 for you.”

This wasn’t planned; the list did not mention anything about buying books and especially not books for someone else. Yet how I tuned against the planned list and dropped the book I wanted and clutched the thick one in my hand was beyond my imagination.

My money was entrusted to the store employee, my hands holding the book and my steps approaching to find my roommate all ready with the essential eatables.

She looked at me, then at the book and then at me again. Her curious contemplation of my regard to the kid’s disability was making me gleam with pride. She thought she had me figured out, heck, I thought I had myself figured out.

It wasn’t so.

This ladies and gentlemen, was the first time I surprised someone, and it felt good.

“This is funny, are you developing a soft spot for the kid, Purvi?"

Scoffing was such a pleasure. I use it as my basic greetings for everyday purposes. People ask me how my day was, I scoff. They ask me about my whereabouts, I scoff. Even when they appreciate me, I scoff.

Damn I was such a good scoffer.

“No. This book is just that interesting. Nothing is bad when it comes to books.”

Riya gave me a silent look, a small smile on those red lips, her head shaking a bit. It was like we were sharing a moment.

We

The never talking, never agreeing, never happy roommates were smiling and nodding along. For the very first time, enjoying each other’s company and not planning the other’s funeral.

Signs of destruction, my friend, these are the signs of emotional destruction.  

_

“Good. Good you’re here. Good.”

Research says that it is easier to read a person’s body language than the person’s mind.

I don't know why one needs research for that because it is purely common sense, however affirming the same statement we approached a shuddering Rohan when he opened the door for us.

“The fact that you said good thrice in the same sentence, makes me worry now.” I answered.

Riya just shook her head, a small tilt of her head made Rohan realize that two women carried big heavy bags and either he could step aside or help us carry them in.

He acted like a gentleman and stepped aside.

“What is wrong?” Riya said placing the bags on the floor when we found no boy on the sofa, where I tucked him in the morning.

I held my bags firm, refusing to get over the absence of the kid. “Where is the kid?”

Funny how my heart accelerated its beats for some thrilled happiness. Maybe it finally dawned to the parents to get their kid back or the prankster realized this was far-fetched or the kid found his voice and could locate his house?

Anirudh who was out in the balcony talking on his cell rushed outside. “I’ll call back, please record the lecture for me.” He sighed and quickly took the bags from me, his eyes had dark circles underneath that almost matched mine and it dawned to me that it wasn’t just me who was up for the kid.

Someone else was there here with me, and he did not fuss about it.

“He is gone.” Rohan spoke before Anirudh could say and I admit I did a little happy dance in my mind.

“Seriously?” Riya was astonished, and for the very first time conversing with Rohan without any tension.

“Good riddance.” I shrugged, sitting on the sofa.

Rohan chuckled, extending his palm towards the lad who carried my grocery bags with a bit of remorse. “My money?”

Anirudh placed the bags down and handed Rohan a fistful of hundred-rupee notes, as Riya with a slightly amused smile let herself in the kitchen.

To those who did not quite get the scenario, it was a bet they placed on me, actually Rohan did and was sure that I wouldn’t be worried or curious about the absence of the kid. Anirudh pleaded otherwise and they let me be their source of some petty income.

Rohan knew I'd be nonchalant about it and won the bet and I wondered why Anirudh thought so highly about me.

He just didn't know me yet, I guess.

“Gone to Purvi’s room.” Rohan completed. “We have shifted him there.” He counted the money and with a cheeky smirk, placed them in his wallet.

Why did a business tycoon like him needed money from a bet was something unusual for me to comprehend.

Male ego to win a bet?

Maybe

Wait? What.

Shifted to my room?

“What? Why?”

“The living room air conditioner was too chilly and it is not fixed, plus there is no fan installed in your house.” Anirudh justified his action. “Yours was the best temp room.”

The roommate who did not have a kid of five sleeping in her room came out with a handful of chilled beers; everyone took one, barring me. It wasn’t because I did not drink, only I did not want to drink one now. Drinking in the middle of the day was not my thing.

“Why not in her room?” I asked, irritated already.

“Because she is allergic to kids.” Rohan said at the same moment Riya said, “because I am allergic to kids.”

Jinx

I fondly remember playing the same silly game in my childhood where if in any case you say a sentence or phrase at the same time with someone else, you say the word ‘jinx’ and shut them up for however long you want. Playing this with my sibling was a task because she would jinx me first and then keep me shut for hours.

“Here, come you two, lunch is ready with your favourite dessert.”

“Rasgullas!”

We both spoke at the same time and she was quick to jinx me.

“Jinx. Now you cannot open your mouth until I unjinx you.”

We raced to the kitchen, nevertheless. It was Sunday and mother had cooked lunch and along with it she had whipped dessert too. Sure, the dessert was all after lunch fiasco, she would let us taste one of whatever she made.

My mother left asking my sister to share it but we both knew that the person who was first would get the treat. Mostly it was she because I couldn’t run fast. “I am glad that you cannot even scream today.”

I eyed her with vengeance, then the rasgulla she ate, and then her again. Even though she was teaching me lessons based on the famous phrase of ‘Early bird catches the worm’.

However, I liked the second version better, ‘the late worm gets to live.’

Not the time to ponder on her. The tales of my sister and I were laughable and tearful at the same time.

Right now, what was a supposedly joke for both Rohan and Riya for clearly, they shared a laugh, turned into another awkward moment. Rohan cleared his throat, breaking their intense eye lock while Riya sipped the entire beer bottle in one go. My eyes wandered from the two of them trying hard to get away from the awkward phase as Anirudh scrutinized them too, something always going on in his head.

“Um. Purvi, we thought your room is safer and cleaner.” Anirudh spoke, amidst the tension. “We can shift him back, if it is bothering you.”

“No”

“What?”

Anirudh apologized for the loud outburst and questioned me again. “Seriously?”

“Yes. I guess it is fine. I can sleep on the sofa.”

The two not so sweet hearts looked at me as if I grew another pair of head while Anirudh took a second to take it all in. “No, we just thought you would protest.”

“I would.” I sighed, “however, it is only for two weeks and I do not have an extra load of cash to dish out on awkward doctor visits.”

That silenced them for good, so the matter was settled. The kid was to sleep in my room for the next two weeks as I settled for the sofa, however other than that, there were still so many questions unanswered.

Rohan took the bean bag chair as Riya sat on the chair of the dining table, Anirudh settled himself besides me. “What have you’ll purchased?”

“Food and some pair of clothes.”

“What kind of food?”

“Riya did the food thing while I picked… urm.. something else.”

It was a relief that Riya was too busy to answer Anirudh’s question and hence Rohan’s curious gaze on me was sidelined. For another minute or so Riya explained the food items she picked and how they would nourish the health of a five-year old.

We were all stunned when the former finally concluded her diet items for the kid and it made me ponder on how intelligent Riya actually was, at least in this scenario. “That is great. Seriously, how do you know so much about nutrition and diet?” I asked, eagerly.

The eatables from the bags were now placed on the teapoy table. It was a layout of fruits and vegetables, low fat dairy products, whole grains, all itemized and characterized by my roommate whose eyes sparkled with a strange twinkle.

For me it was all over the head, I mean sure we did learnt a about balanced diet (enough to write a short note on it in standard sixth) but only two types of people followed one in everyday life.

Rich people and sportsmen

I was neither.

“Well, I was, am a nutritionist.”

“What?”

This time Anirudh and I jinxed as Rohan kept mum, of course he knew that. He had too; they was some sort of connection between the two of them.

Something that made them awkward. I bet it was way nicer than mine or a little less hurtful.

She shrugged, “I don't practice but yes, I am a nutritionist. So, I do know about diets and maybe finally my degree can pay off.”

Well

“That settles then.” Anirudh concluded with a small smile.

It does not. Not at all.

Rohan shifted uncomfortably while Riya sipped the third bottle of beer now, her eyes avoiding Rohan’s.

“That covers the food and clothes. What about the timings?” Anirudh continued with the series of questions. “We cannot put it all on you, Purvi.”

There was a we now. Certainly, that gladdened me.

“Yes. It was unfair for you to stay awake with him for these days.” Riya chipped in. “I guess, we should act like mature individuals at least for these two weeks.”

“Yeah, I can always help out at weekends.” Rohan added.

“And I can cover some days.”

“Anirudh you have to attend lectures.” I told him, who sat on the edge of the seat, he wanted to help but his masters were equally important and it wouldn’t do him any good. “Please attend lectures, this is your last year.”

“I know Purvi, but Tittu is equally important.”

“Not as much as your career, I can always stay by him for the night.” I added as Riya nodded. “I am in for the days.” She suggested.

“What about cooking? Who will cook him the food? Most of the times you two eat only junk.”

“Fair point.” Rohan raised his beer and drank it.

“We’ll whip something or the other for him.”

“Okay, what about the building manager?”

“I spoke to him.” Rohan smirked. “He is okay with it.”

“How?” Anirudh stole the exact words from my mouth.

Rohan’s smirk just grew wider. “Perks of being rich.”

We rolled our eyes as Riya grabbed a pillow and hugged it. “Anirudh did you say Tittu?” She asked, softly.

Yes, that name. It slipped from my mind that Anirudh did mention a strange name. “Yes.” Rohan intervened, “we decided to name the kid Tittu.”

Riya who sat across the room, glanced at me and then we both looked at the guys. “What?”

“Why such a weird name?”

“Just.” Anirudh spoke, “I like the nickname, we don't know his real name and it is better than calling him kid.”

“What is the point, he cannot hear anyway.”

They all gave me the bitchy glares as I shrugged, it was the truth. However, things settled and the second ever conversation we four had as adults soon ended as we made a list of dos’ and don'ts. As a matter of fact, the guys wanted to share the kid’s expenses fairly amongst us all four since we were all in, in this mess and this time I did not let Riya burst her ego in between. Anirudh and Rohan parted while Riya retreated to her room as I slowly entered mine. The kid was sleeping soundly, with his tiny arms hugging himself, and his breathing very soft and comforting.

Tittu

It kinda was better than calling him kid.

_

Tittu, still a weird name, was asleep on my bed. Sure, this time he was sick and had absolutely no time to fight with me over sleeping and the medicines worked in making him fall soundly asleep. His fever had died and his health restored but he still looked pale and fragile.

The entire day he ate food which Riya especially cooked for him and ate only when either of us fed him. He had a particular liking for me, unfortunately, and threw no tantrums when I fed him. The kid was trying really hard to adjust with us and we were toiling more than he was to have him settled.

Right now, he looked peaceful as an angel as he snored softly on my bed, under my quilt. A big fur ball which Anirudh had picked up for him on the way was hugged to his chest. Everything about Anirudh fascinated him. Maybe Anirudh was fascinating. He could go easy on anyone and people always found him likable. There wasn’t one person I met, well except me of course, who did not instantly like this guy. Anirudh was and is a better person on the face of the earth. He could see good in anything.

Okay wrong track.

What I insisted on repeating, is that Tittu was asleep on my bed; Riya was on hers while I was seated by the window sill. There was no way I could sleep with him on my bed considering how big of an invasion it is of my privacy and how the fever germs could probably travel from one point of the bed to the other. Trust me, no one liked to be sick but I hated being sick because that meant I had to do things alone with zero strength.

My study time was successful owing to June being a good friend and helping me with her notes and my coffee being my best friend and helping me survive. I hurried myself out of the room and tidied the sofa which was suddenly the dumping ground of our apartment.

It was full of clothes, toys, eatables and what not! Where 80% of the things belonged to the kid whom we did not align a place to store his possessions, I could see still see Riya’s and my stuff lying around with the mess. It took me one long deep breath and around fifteen or so minutes to finally clean the sofa and lie down.

On lying down did I realize that I had left my mobile back in my room!

Crap!

I swear there is nothing worse than sleeping comfortably and then having to get up to get the thing you couldn’t get in the first damn place. Reluctantly, I tip toed to my room, switching on the study lamp and finding my mobile on the stand. Switching the charger off, I turned to move back but Tittu’s tossing and turning caught my attention.

Over the four nights he spent here, I knew he was habituated of twisting and turning while sleeping but never once did I see him miserable in his sleep. Heck, I haven’t seen anyone miserable in their sleep.

The kid was struggling, trying to get out from the nightmare he was in. Sweat buds had formed on his small face and his breathing increased, the way he was struggling worried me. My legs seemed to be not in synch with my brain as they took me towards him. He must be burning with heat.

I switched the AC on, only till he could sleep again and took the quilt off him. On wiping his sweat with a towel and rubbing his back, I enchanted sweet words to him even though I knew he couldn’t hear anything. That was what I could do, well that is what my sister did to me when I would toss and turn at night.

The kid still kept struggling, using his hand to defend himself, trying hard to get over the nightmare. His hand was in midair when I took it in my own. They were so soft and small. I took the other hand too and held it firm, rubbing them and pressing them.  Seemingly noticing my touch, he opened his small eyes and looked at me. More like confirming my presence. Then he scanned the room, felt assured and lay asleep again.

He didn't pull away his hands from mine, and he held my hand firmly and did not wake up until way past in the morning. And soon, I slept besides him too. Needless to say, he was pleased and I was astonished the next day to find us in the same position as we were yesterday, just the kid was much better than he was last night.