Chapter 42

On Monday, I had our second meeting of the brighter futures club. Apparently, this Wednesday, they had an event and wanted to know if I would attend.

I signed reluctantly. I didn't really want to go, but I didn't want them to stop offering me events. Although I actually didn't have any exams this week, I was a bit behind in my work. Still, it was just a small Junior parents meeting, and I figured why not earn some scholarship funds.

Noah had missed school on Monday, but he was back on Tuesday. He said he had a bought of strep throat, but he was feeling better.

He was a lot more at ease this week since Robbie wasn't around. I noticed he was a lot more talkative in drama, and his regular sense of humor was back by Art.

I wasn't feeling as good. I missed Robbie, and I just generally felt tired these days.

Noah and I worked together towards the back of the room. The drama room was very long, and most people liked to sit near the windows.

We liked the privacy and quiet we got towards the back.

That day Noah was telling me all about a show he spent his weekend watching, suddenly he switched the subject, "hey are you going with anyone to the fall gala?" he asked.

I almost didn't understand what he was asking, "umm, no."

"Want to go together?"

"I mean, I kind of can't; I'm not really going as an attendee; Lana has me manning tickets.

"Lana has a date."

"She does?"

"That's what the list she sent out said."

"Does Abigail have a date too?" I asked.

"Umm, how should I know? I didn't memorize everyone's plus one status; I just checked Lana because I know she handled event things with you."

"Well, I don't know how she has one. I'm really not participating in the activities."

"Because you can't or because you don't want to?"

"I mean, what is that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing," he shrugged, and went back to looking at his art pad.

He worked silently with a frown on his face. After a few minutes, I caved in.

"Are you...mad at me?" I asked, sometimes trying to understand Noah was exhausting, and you had to flat out ask him.

"No."

"You seem upset with me," I asked, crossing my arms in front of me.

"Well, I'm not."

"Okay," I said in a tone the conveyed I would let it go, but I didn't believe him.

"Why were you gone so long during drama last week?" He said after a moment.

"Bathroom."

"You're lying. Why was Bennet gone as well?"

"Noah. If you know, why then why do you ask?"

He shook his head, "so that's it, everything is fixed with his family?"

"No, nothing is fixed."

"So what you're just saying fuck it? Who cares if a hummer rams into me again?"

"No."

"Seems like you are."

"We're careful."

He narrowed his eyes at me, "I figured it out."

"Well, you know about our situation. It gives you a different perspective."

"You know, a heads up would have been nice," he said, scowling.

"You wanted me to tell you I was hooking up with Robbie again?"

"Well, yeah. I thought things were different with us. I thought..you...I guess I got the wrong vibes. I mean, even if we were just friends...."

"We are friends."

"I mean, I almost get shot over bullshit with his family; I thought you would at least tell me if you started things up again."

I sighed, "You're right; I'm sorry."

"So you're dating again? He's taking someone else to the dance? I saw the list."

"I know he told me. It's complicated."

"How complicated?"

"Very."

"How descriptive," he said deadpanned.

"I mean do you want me to quantify it? I don't even know how I would do that."

He stared at me for a long moment, "what would you do if I tried to kiss you?"

"Noah," I said in warning. 

"Seriously, right now, if I kissed you, would you let me? You said you would."

"No. I wouldn't"

"But he can kiss other girls? How is that fair?"

"He's not kissing anyone," I said.

He pursed his lips and cocked his head to the side, "Come on, Lia. Don't be Naive."

"Seriously. You don't know Robbie."

"Or maybe you don't."

"No. I know him very well," I said, "I trust Robbie more than anyone."

"Really? I mean, he's willing to take the risk and get you killed over what? Some quick fucks in that robotics lab? Doesn't seem very trustworthy."

"Now you're just being disrespectful," I chastised.

"Or honest, and you don't like hearing the truth. I said it before. Robert Bennet is not worth you getting hurt."

"I'm not going to get hurt."

He shook his head, "you know the worst part of it is? You take these risks for him, and he'll just get bored like he does with everyone else."

"Stop."

"It's true I've known him my whole life. You know he was pretty into Abigail at the beginning. They used to fuck all the time. Make out in the hallways. He would even tell her he loved her. Then he cheated on her with half the school."

"It's different."

"Do you hear yourself?" he asked, "I mean, is it really?"

"You're just acting this way because he hurt you."

Noah's eyes widened, and then he pursed his lips, "no."

"Yes. I know about you and Gabrielle. I'm sorry he did that; it was shitty. He's sorry too, it wasn't right, but that does not mean he's like that anymore. Also, Gabrielle is just as guilty, if not more. She should have never cheated on you. You don't deserve that."

"I don't care about Gabrielle."

"Noah. Please."

"I don't. I mean, maybe I messed with you at first to piss him off, but this isn't about Gabby. I care about you, Lia. I kind of want to keep you alive. I thought you cared about me too. I didn't take you as the type that would shove their tongue into someone's mouth when you didn't like them."

"Noah," I said and then shook my head.

"What?"

"I do like you. Just not like that. We're friends."

"You felt something for me. I saw it when we were at my house."

"What happened to 'keeping things casual'?"

He exhaled a breath and flipped the paper on his art pad, "I'm just making conversation."

"Well, change the subject," I said, rolling my eyes.

"Does he know you kissed me?" He asked, putting his brush down.

"That's still on the subject."

"So, he doesn't. Why wouldn't you tell him if it meant nothing?"

"Because what would be the point?" I said, looking at him expectantly.

"I'd like to know."

"Well. You and Robbie are different," I said.

"Yeah. I guess we are."

I sighed, "I was in love with him then, and I'm in love with him now; I was never dishonest with you about this."

He bit his cheek and picked up his brush silently.

"Noah. This isn't acting very casual," I said.

"I don't know. I guess it was nice to think someone like you could like someone like me," he muttered.

"Someone like me?" I asked, confused.

"Mhm. Someone good."

"Noah, my affections for you don't have anything to do with your worth. Plus, I do like you. I really think you're a good person. Uhhg, your stepdad is an idiot; I hate that he talks to you like that."

I saw him look down at his brushes, "you're just being nice."

"No. I mean it. I mean you make bad decisions...but you can change that."

He shook his head but then looked up at me with a more lighthearted expression, "well, can't you come with me anyway? We'll have fun. We dance well together."

"I'm really not going as an attendee. I have to do a lot while I'm there. Noah, a lot of girls in this school find you very handsome, take a date. Have fun. It's your last year of school before you go take your cross-country trip. The girls you find then aren't going to smell as nice," I teased.

He rolled his eyes but gave me a smile, "Maybe I like hippies and dirtbags."

"Oh really?"

"Mhm, if they smell like B.O and patchouli, all the better," he joked.

"Ewww," I laughed.

"hey, don't kink-shame me, princess."

"Okay, okay, I guess I take back what I said," I said, laughing.