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Chapter 3

"What do you want, Liam?"

"Can I sit?"

"It's a public rock do you can do whatever you want," I said, ignoring him and going back to my book.

I felt him sit down beside my head. According to Abigail, he was starting Brown next week, and while I felt terrible for the entire state of Rhode Island, I also said good riddance. His absence also meant I could hang out with Abigail more often. It was a win in every way.

I violently turned the page in my book. He was allowed to sit where he pleased, and I was allowed to passively-aggressively tell him he can fuck off.

"I'm sorry," he said.

I scoffed and rolled my eyes, and continued reading.

"Lia," he said, and when I didn't answer, he tried again.

"Lia."

Oh my goodness, would he take a hint? I took my earphones from my skirt pocket and placed them in my ear, and searched for music on my phone.

"Stop Lia, please listen," he said, putting his hand over mine to stop me from playing music and drowning out his stupid voice.

"Don't touch me,"

"I'm serious. Please," He begged.

"I'm serious too, don't touch me. I will scream in a public park, and you're going to feel really uncomfortable."

Lia, I'm really sorry. You were nothing but kind and a good friend to me. I really did care about you. I just...I fucked everything up."

I bit the inside of my cheek and used the tiny bit of willpower I had left not to punch him. Instead, I started prying his fingers off my phone.

"No, listen. My family life is —complicated. It's violent at times, and I have a lot of anger. I got jealous when I saw you guys on that trampoline, and then his grandmother noticed I was upset, and she's really fucking manipulative."

I sat up at that, "What?" I said, frowning at him.

"I know it's no excuse for what I did."

"Well, you're right about that," I scoffed.

"I know Lia, but if I can explain, I mean, you know how things are at my house you're friends with my sister."

I looked at him in the eyes, "No one has a perfect life, Liam; you can't treat people like shit because of it. Everyone has trauma."

He sighed.

"I accept your apology," I said, shrugging my shoulders. "But it doesn't mean anything if you're going to continue being like that."

"I'm trying not to."

"Try harder. You have money, get therapy, lord knows I would if I could afford it."

We stayed in silence for a moment.

"Can we be friends again?" He asked.

I scrunched my nose and frowned.

"Again? When were we ever friends? You lied to me throughout our entire relationship. You might have liked me as a person, but I have no idea who you are. So, no, we can't be friends again because we were never friends."

He winced as I said this, and I actually took some pleasure in it.

"Would we ever be friends?"

"I don't think so. Not with what you did to Maria and Lana. I can't be friends with someone who tried to assault my best friend."

"Lia, that was not my fault. I swear my drink was spiked. Yes, it was fucked to sleep with Maria when I was in love with Lana, but I would never have forced myself on her ever. Like it's something I can't even believe still happened."

"You have so many excuses, and I don't care to hear them," I said, opening my book again.

"I'm not making excuses. Lana's mother is a lawyer; you don't think they checked everything? Robbie made Lana tell her mom everything that and they called my mother and threatened legal action. Thankfully my mom had the foresight to have me have drug panels done right away. Her mom dropped charges. My lawyer said I probably picked up someone's drink."

"Lana would have told me."

"Lana hates my family. She hates me for fucking with Maria; she hates my sister for petty bullshit. If you don't believe me, ask Robbie. He knew."

"Liam, just stop."

"No, seriously. If I were that much of a creep, why would he be okay with you hanging out with me? Robbie doesn't like me, I was a dick to his sister, but he knows I didn't do that."

"Whatever, it doesn't matter."

He clenched his jaw, "I brought you something. To show you how sorry I am." He said, placing a notebook next to me.

"What is that?" I asked, taken aback. It looked exactly like the journal Maria gave me for safekeeping.

"It belonged to Maria's father. Some guys were trying to look for it, and I found it before them and took it. Mostly to be a dick."

"There some guys looking for it?"

"I use to sneak out of our sleepovers to get food; sometimes I would just lay out in the trampoline enjoy silence. There was so much pressure on me those days with Maria's family and my parents." He said. I took my headphones out of my ears and prompted him to get to the point. I didn't really care to hear his rambling sob story.

"Anyway, sometimes I use to go into the study to smoke and sneak scotch from the liquor cabinet. That day I saw two men talking; they kept mentioning a notebook. It was so shady and weird. One guy said it was a leather-bound green notebook. Then the other guys said it could be in the study. Low and behold it was on the shelf right next to me, so I took and snuck out."

"Why would she want that?" I asked, more to myself than to Liam.

"Why would who want what? Look, I don't know who those men were. I never saw them before. I also never read it past the first page. It's full of puzzles and poems, and it's not really as juicy as I thought it was going to be."

I had looked through many of Robbie's father's journals. He had two types: personal ones encased in blue leather and brown business ones.

"How do I know this isn't bullshit that you made up? Why, after a year of silence, do you bring this up?"

"You don't know, I guess. But after everything that happened between you and me, it made me think, and I wanted to give it to Maria, but I'm too much of a coward to say anything to her."

"You could have given it to Robbie. It's his too."

"Robert is not an option due to my life being at risk if I'm even in his general vicinity. I figured I would give it to you."

"How do I know you aren't full of shit."

"You don't. I want to be friends with you again. I miss you. I was at an art exhibition a few weeks ago, and I kept wondering what you would say about certain things, and I wanted to text you, but I figured you would tell me to fuck off."

"I wouldn't have told you that."

"Oh."

"I have your number blocked, so I would never have gotten the text in the first place," I said, shrugging.

He exhaled a laugh, "I promise it's real and that what I'm saying is true."

I placed the book in my bag and looked at him. His nose looked fully healed. The last time I saw him, there was blood coming out of it.

As if he could read my mind, he gave me a small smile, "You got me good, by the way, were you wearing a ring?" He pointed to a white line on his nose," three stitches,"

"I'm not sorry," I said, leaning back on my rock.

We sat in silence, and I wondered when he would leave.

"I know you and Robert broke up," He said abruptly.

I bit the inside of my cheek.

"I'm sorry. I know you loved him. It was really obvious. I saw you both on a date one time at a Broadway show. You sat a few rows in front of me. I don't know if it makes you feel better, but I've known Robert my whole life, and he never looked at anyone the way he looked at you."

I blinked a few times, "If this was all you came to do," I said, holding up the book, "you can leave now," I told him my voice sounded thick, and I did not want to cry in front of Liam.

He can go fuck himself. Robbie and I would have been together sooner and longer if it wasn't for him, and I will never forgive him for that.

"Fine," he said, getting up. "I'm sorry again. I don't have you blocked; if you have any questions, just text or call. I'm leaving for Rhode Island in a week, but I'll have time for you."

I just ignored him, and he stood there awkwardly before walking away. When he was gone, I let myself cry for the first time in a week.

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A/N

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