Chapter 14

When the week came to an end, I felt as if my emotions were spilling out of a spigot, and I broke off the handle to turn it off. According to Chris, Robbie had left again on Wednesday; he had only come back at the beginning of the week for attendance and graduation purposes. Rules stated that students could not be out for more than 10 consecutive days.

His empty seat next to mine somehow made me miss him more.

The entire week had been non-stop activities. Between homework, practicing for dance with Lana, the events committee, and track practice, I was burnt out by Friday. Chris had invited me to his house to get pizza and hang out with him and Maria, but I was so tired I declined the offer.

I showered and curled up in bed to read the last of the books Robbie had lent me. There was a pile of homework on my desk I needed to work through, but it could wait.

Robbie leaving actually gave me a chance to drop off the books this weekend. If I finished, of course.

Though, when I thought about it, the thought of being in their house made me nervous. I read the same line in the book ten times before declaring my anxiety the winner. I resigned to finishing the book the following day.

I shifted in bed. The bedsheets bothered me, and my hair was sticking to my neck. I closed my eyes to try to will sleep to come. Click click click, I could hear the pulls on my fan smacking against each other. Here's the thing no one tells you about New York. Apartments don't have ACs.

We're in the 21st century; how do you not have central cooling?!

My dad was going to add a window unit to my room but changed his mind. The electricity was as insanely expensive, and we could not afford the potential costs. So, he got me a fan instead. I read once that fans work by making you sweat and then cooling off the water on your skin. I pulled on my tank top, feeling a drop of sweat run down my collarbone as I waited for that to happen.

I remember the news playing on the TV as my father got ready in the morning, saying that tonight and tomorrow would be some of the hottest days of the year. It was unusual for early September, but I guess that's global warming for you.

I paced my room, fanning myself with my hand and feeling illogically upset with the struggling fan.

The journal Liam gave me caught my eye again. I opened it up and lay down on the cool floor tile. It was similar to his other journals in that he wrote about his day. Most journal entries were pretty similar.

 A day in the life of Robert Bennet Sr.: He had a love hate relationship with his job, he loved his kids, he adored his wife. He spent his weekends taking long hikes in the forest behind their house and his nights looking out of a telescope with his son. Then, regardless of Maria's age, he tucked his daughter in bed, stayed with her to talk bout her day, and went to bed with his wife.

It felt a strange weight in my chest reading things like this. Besides it being incredibly intimate, I don't remember the last time my dad and I had a conversation. I don't think my father ever tucked me into bed or participated in any activity with me.

Halfway through the journal, things started getting...weird. I sat up to better understand what was happening. Some of the sentences were nonsensical. Then, there were some made up of just letters strung together but not really creating any words. 

I wondered if this was Lou Gehrig's taking over his ability to write. I had assumed it wasn't that advanced before his death. He could still drive a car. Maria made it seem as if him being present for her marriage with Liam would have been a possibility. Maybe it came in waves?

 I looked at the words over and over again. It was almost unsettling. Also, there were all the smudges I told Maria about. I had noticed those when I had flipped through the journal. They were prominent and difficult to miss.

I grabbed a notebook and started writing all of the words I saw did not make any sense. I fell asleep on my floor towards the end of the journal.

I woke up with the sunlight dripping through open shades. I sat up to find I had a crick in my neck and a sheet of paper stuck on my cheek. The nape of my neck was slick with sweat. I climbed over my bed to open my window, propping it up with a book. I didn't know if that would make it better or worse, but I figured some circulation would be nice.

"shitty fan," I muttered and shot it a glare as I went to take a cold shower.

I lay down on my bed with my head hanging off the side and my feet on the wall, feeling a bit more refreshed. I picked up my phone and texted Maria. I needed to get out of this heat, and I might as well kill two birds with one stone.

Hey, can we meet up? I have some books I want to give up back to Robbie, and I need to tell you something.

"I can't today; after hanging out with Chris, I ended up going on an overnight field trip with my ecology class. We're still in Maine."

":( okay."

"I'm really sorry, Lia. I miss you."

I knew this was her way of telling me she wasn't upset anymore. I sighed.

"Miss you too :)."

I texted Lana next. "Hey, want to do something?"

"I'm busy, ;)" She texted back and then sent me a picture of an eggplant emoji.

I let out a snort, "Okay. Be safe."

"Yesss," She answered back.

I looked at my wall and noticed my bookbag on the floor. I should probably just work on homework. Maybe I could find a cold library to work at. Then I noticed the key again. Or... I could just go to the art room. Do some homework, work on my portfolio. I was pretty sure Trinity had central air. If not, the art room had large windows I could open that would let a nice breeze in.

Decision made, I got up and slipped on a pair of jean shorts and an airy sleeveless blouse, grabbed my sandals and a sweater just in case the school did have the cold AC running.

The key not only opened the classroom but the back door as well. When I got to Trinity, the hallway was empty again, and I made my way to the art room feeling as if I were breaking the rules.

"Do you live here?" were the first words that slipped out of my mouth when I saw Noah sitting in front of a large canvas.

"Hi princess," he said, not bothering to look up. He looked different today. He was wearing a black band shirt for some band I'd never heard of and faded gray jeans.

"What are you doing here?"

"Probably the same thing you are." He said, finally looking at me.

"Your family can't afford air conditioning?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"What?" He asked, confused, and I noticed he was drinking some strawberry-looking slushy that looked like it would be heaven with how sweaty and thirsty I felt.

"That's why I'm here," I said, ripping my gaze away from his drink. I noticed that this room did not have AC, but Noah had already opened all of the windows. I was right. There would be a really nice breeze.

"That's sucks. I need to finish this piece for my portfolio. This is the only class I get a good grade in, so it helps hold my GPA together and keeps my parents off my back," he said, giving me a tight smile.

"Ahh," I said, grabbing my own work in progress and sitting down.

"You want?" He asked, holding out his drink.

I was going to say no, but my thirst didn't let me; I grabbed the cold plastic container and took a sip. It was too sweet, almost sickly, but it was cold and hit the spot I needed it to. I wanted to press it to my neck, but instead, I handed it back to him after two sips.

"Thanks," I said.

We worked quietly for an hour. I could feel Noah looking at me every once in a while.

"So, what made you change your mind?"

"About?"

"You know the whole potential art career."

"My ex-boyfriend," I said.

"Why? Did you want to follow him? I can't see you as the type that would drop everything to follow a guy."

"No. Not to follow him. He just thought I was choosing medicine for the wrong reasons. When I thought about it, he wasn't wrong."

"The wrong reasons being what?" He asked as he squirted paint on his pallet.

"My family pressuring me."

"That's rich. Isn't his majesty basically getting groomed to take over his family business when his grandfather kicks the bucket?"

"I guess sometimes we give better advice than we follow ourselves," I said.

He nodded, and there was long silence the passed before he spoke up again. 

"So what else are you thinking about doing instead?"

"Architecture. I guess I don't know. I would like to try digital art, too. Honestly, I'm just trying to get through everything one day at a time."

He nodded and held out the slushy offering me another sip. 

"I think when I come back, I'd probably just live the bachelor life. Until I'm old and people are only with me for my money," he said, grinning wide enough that I could see the dimples on his cheeks.

"You know not everyone in Trinity is an asshole Noah," I said, mixing colors on my palette.

"Well, I know that. Just, most of them are. And even the better ones that aren't complete dicks are all spoiled and shallow," he said. "No one actually gives a fuck about anyone. It's all about what you can get from another person. Or who you know. Then, you're disposable."

"That's not true, Noah. I have nothing to offer, and my friends care about me."

"You got lucky you found the right group."

I stayed quiet because it was true.

"Also, do have something to offer. You're nice to be around. Nice to look at," Noah added.

I felt myself blush and looked down at my knees, "I'm thirsty. I'm going to get water," I said, standing up awkwardly. The nearest water fountain was in the main building where the office was located. I walked past the large wooden staircase and found the old-looking fountain next to a marble statue of the Virgin Mary praying.

When I got back to the art class, Noah was closing the windows. I noticed he had put our paintings away.

"What are you doing?"

"By any chance, did you go into the main building?" He asked, a nervous lilt to his voice.

"Yeah?"

"I figured. You tripped a silent alarm. I saw the security walking to the building in front of this one. I am sure we are next.

"You said we were allowed to be here on the weekends," I said, becoming upset.

"I say a lot of things, princess," he said, grabbing my hand and pulling me out of the class.

"Wait, my purse!" I exclaimed, reaching inside to grab it.

"Shh," he said, his eyes darting down the hallway.

We sped down the hall and almost made it to the courtyard when we heard the security guard yelling.

"Hey! You two! Stop!" He said, running towards us.

"Detour," Noah said and grabbed my arm, pulling me into another building.

We ran down the maze of halls, hearing the security's loud footsteps behind us.

"In here," Noah said, shoving me into a maintenance closet.

"A maintenance closet?" I asked, trying not to lean against the questionably looking mop, "this is the most cliched hiding spot. How would he not find us here?" I asked, giving him a puzzled look.

"Shuddup," He said, covering my mouth with his hand.

I heard the man walk by us muttering on his phone; I could see his shadow on the slit underneath the door.

I looked up at Noah. I could tell he was trying not to laugh.

"Man, your face is so tense," he said, his shoulders shaking.

"This isn't funny. I could lose my scholarship," I said, upset.

"I wasn't the one that tripped the alarm," he said, annoyed.

"I didn't know there was an alarm to trip. You made it seem as if we were allowed to be here. You also could have warned me not to drink water there."

"Relax," he said, rolling his eyes.

"Noah, this is serious. This is breaking and entering," I whispered, sharply annoyed at how nonchalant he was acting.

"Shhh, stop being such a wet rag about everything," he said, rolling his eyes.

My mouth hung open, and I huffed and crossed my arms in front of me. How dare he?

"News flash, Ryans, some of us don't have a family with enough money where it doesn't matter if we don't finish high school."

"Bullshit, anyone can do anything they want to do."

"You know you act all grungy and laissez-faire, but really you are so detached from reality you don't realize that the only reason you are not sitting in jail and getting your ass clapped by a guy 

named Big Phil is because your daddy saves your ass every time," I whispered bluntly.

"My ass clapped?" He asked, narrowing his eyes at me, a slight smile on his lips.

"You are such a prick," I said, wanting to leave already.

"Hey princess, get off the high horse. I'm sure your life is so hard; it must have been really difficult to have some billionaire boyfriend buy you everything."

"Fuck you. It wasn't like that."

"I'm sure it was exactly like that."

" You know you act like you hate everyone at this school, but you are just like them," I said, pressing my finger into his chest.

"You don't know what you're talking about," he said, and I could tell what I said hit a sore spot, and I felt a thrill run through me at the realization.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about. You claim to hate everything to do with Trinity. Still, you come in your expensive clothes on your expensive bike and then wax poetic about shitty and entitled rich people. Then you smash a car and get a slap on the wrist and go back to, spending your dad's—"

His lips were on mine before I could finish. I felt this conflict where I wasn't sure if I wanted to push him away or bring him closer. I could feel his fingers digging into my spine. I could feel his anger. His mouth covered mine hungrily, our teeth smacked together at one point. I grabbed onto his shirt and balled it into my fists. He tasted like salt and the strawberry slushy he was drinking earlier. He made my mind go still. Made me forget the pain I carried in my chest. I bit down on his bottom lip, and his hands reached down to grab my ass.

I pulled back. No. I looked up at Noah. I could hear both of us panting.

"You kissed me," was all I could say.

"I had to," he answered casually, "you talk too much."

His brown eyes looked black in the dim lighting. I momentarily thought he looked like he didn't have any pupils.

"I want to get out of here; I want to go home," I said, feeling suddenly claustrophobic.

"Security left a while ago; just leave," he said, leaning back against the wall.

I opened the door tentatively and stepped outside, silence.

"See," he said, stepping out beside me.

"I- I'm going to go home," I said, refusing to look at him.

"You said that already," he said.

It was slowly dawning on me what I just did, and I felt awful. Guilty.

I walked out of the school at a brisk pace, as if walking fast would allow me to run away from everything. The bus stop was full, so I waited away from everyone, my head swimming with thoughts I felt too tired to consider. The mid-day sun stung my neck, and the humidity was almost suffocating. I missed my hot room, and I wish I would have just stayed home.

"Hey, princess, wait up," Noah said. I had left him in a weird stupor where all he did was stare at 

me. His brown eyes trying to understand what just happened.

"My bus will be here soon," I said picking up my pace.

"Do you want a ride? Have you ever been on a motorcycle?" He offered.

"No and no," I said.

"Come on, let's get something to eat, something cool, it's a nice day," he said, walking backward to look at me, "my treat."

"Thanks, but no thanks," I said, waving him away.

A few minutes later, Noah pulled up on his bike, "Come on, hop-on," he said and revved it a few times. I fought the urge to roll my eyes.

"I said no, Noah."

"Fine, I'll see you on Monday," he conceded, sounding upset. Then he smiled, "Well, whenever you want a ride, princess. It's waiting for you," he said and rode off.