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Chapter 1

Sometimes I had dreams of you where you never woke up.

Summer went by fast. I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. Maria, Lana, and Nicole all planned something every single day to keep me busy. I appreciated it; I don't think I would have fared well without them. Still, late at night, when everyone was fast asleep, I thought about Robbie, and it made my heart hurt. The days I managed to sleep, I work up with puffy eyes, a dry mouth, and a headache.

A breakup hangover is what I called it.

My mom was worried about me. She got the twins and me a dog. A curly-haired white terrier that I named Lady, she was a protective pup and became my shadow when I was home. Never leaving my side and sleeping on my bed every day.

The last day before I went back to New York, my mom was in a sour mood. Between the car accident, my post-break-up depression, and the divorce, she felt I would be safer with her in Miami. Maybe she was right. Still, a part of me who worked so hard last year and spent countless hours studying did not want to give up.

I decided to escape to Maria's Miami Beach apartment, where she and Lana stayed for the past month. The building led to a private beach where we could lay out on the sand and let the water lick our toes.

"Well, less than three weeks until we are back in hell," Lana said, taking a sip of her lemonade slushy on a particularly sunny day. There wasn't a cloud in the sky. I covered the sun with my book as I lay next to her on the sand.

"Not me," Maria said, smiling.

She had been very excited about starting college. She had her own apartment in the city and was really looking forward to having us over. "No psychopathic grandparents allowed Lia, I promise," She said as she showed me the floor plan. It was small, a one-bedroom with tiny living space and kitchen. Her favorite part was the outdoor garden that had views of central park.

Lana's phoned beeped, and we flipped to our stomachs. I rested my face on the pages of my book.

"I'm kind of looking forward to being back. Senior year is supposed to be fun, right?" I asked, turning my head to look at Maria.

This was a lie. I wasn't looking forward to school events. I was mainly looking forward to school being a distraction. I was taking six APs, and hopefully, they would require hours of focus. Which was the perfect remedy to not thinking about my ex-boyfriend.

"Yeah, it was pretty fun, you know, minus the ulcer I got from stressing while planning for 7 different events," Maria said, stirring the ice in her cup with her straw.

"Did you really get an ulcer?" I asked, looking at her, "Those are actually caused by bacteria, not stress. You should get that checked out," I said, doggy earring the page I was on.

"I was being dramatic, Lia," Maria said, shaking her head, "I'm going to miss your nerdy self."

"I know whose going to tutor you in math?" I said, narrowing my eyes at her.

"You, duh. You guys better come over often. I just bought a California king bed, so we can all snuggle."

Maria had never lived by herself before, and I think she was nervous about it. She was the type of person that hated alone time. She always needed to have a friend nearby.

"I will definitely be over so you could plan the events for me," Lana said, giving her a toothy grin.

"Um, no, thanks, I passed that baton on to you, and you can keep it. I never want to see it ever again," Maria replied.

"You didn't really pass it on to me as much as you shoved into my hands and ran away. All I know is I am ending that booth tradition."

"Sounds good to me," I said, applying more sunscreen to my arms.

"Aww, but everyone loves the booths; we make so much money from it," Maria pouted.

"I think this year we could do a masked ball," Lana said.

"That's a lot of work; you need tight security. You know those public school kids are going to try to sneak in," Maria warned.

"I know, but it seems so romantic," Lana said, flipping her blonde hair "what do you think, Lia?" Lana asked, looking at me with her big blue eyes.

"I think that I'm done with romance until I graduate college," I said, giving them a tight smile and going back to my book.

I saw from the corner of my eye that Maria smacked her arm and whispered, "why would you ask her that?"

I shook my head and rolled my eyes. They had been walking on eggshells all summer. Suddenly a shadow appeared over my book.

Nicole had come to spend the weekend with us. She had been walking down the shoreline on the phone with Cameron.

"Okay, I ordered five different sushi rolls; the guy said he should be bringing it out soon," Nicole said.

"How is Cameron?" I asked her, flipping to lie on my back.

"He's good, you know, mostly training, it's his last year, and he wants to get a college scholarship," she stuck out her hand to ask me for the sunscreen.

"Ahh," I said. I really wanted to ask her if he mentioned anything about Robbie, but I didn't. I had gotten good at biting my tongue.

Maria and Lana would probably not let her answer me anyway.

"I hope the sushi gets here fast, I'm starving," Lana said, patting her belly.

****

We went back to New York in the Bennett Family jet; when we landed, Maria insisted that we drop off mine and Lana's bag and spend the night in her New Apartment.

We laid on her Giant bed, now watching a movie.

"I wish that men like Paul Varjak still existed," Maria sighed.

"Really? I don't," Lana said "he looks like the type of guy that expects his little lady to have dinner cooked when he gets home," she said, curling her lip.

Lady lifted her head up off the bed at hearing her name.

"Not you, little Lady," Lana said, grabbing her and hugging her as if she were the little spoon.

"Lia, I'm going to steal your dog," she said as Lady gave her doggy kisses on the chin.

I had brought Lady up with me; she was, after all, my dog. My dad insisted I bring her for the first week to help me transition back—perks of being a pawn in a nasty divorce. If your kid lives with you, you pay less child support.

I couldn't wait until August when I turned 18, and they stopped pitting me in the middle of their fights.

"Cat? Cat?" Audrey yelled on the screen, and Lady growled.

"You know, Lia, you kind of look like her," Lana said, looking back and forth between me and the screen.

"I've gotten that before, especially if I straighten my hair; I think it's the eyebrows," I said, rolling on my stomach and hiding my face from Lady. She liked it when I did this. She would wiggle underneath my arms to try and lick my nose.

"Stop it, you," I said, grabbing her snout playfully.

"We should cut your bangs like that; you would look so cute. With your bob and your goth aesthetic."

"My aesthetic isn't goth. Also, I'm not cutting my own hair anymore. Nicole made me promise on Lady's life."

"I can cut it," Maria said, opening up a drawer in her nightstand and pulling out a pair of hair-cutting scissors. "I've been cutting my own bangs since I was 12," she said, snipping the scissors in the air.

"If you cut my bangs, you have to let me pierce the second hole in your ears," I said, looking at her pointedly.

"I do kind of want another piercing," she said, tapping the flat end of the scissors on her cheek.

"Then it's a deal," I said. Maria gave a little hop and ran towards me. I almost told her that she shouldn't be running with scissors in her hand, but she was already in front of me and pulling off the headband I had on.

"You're going to trust her to cut your hair," Lana said incredulously, "She had like three margaritas," she added.

"It's just hair," I said as Maria parted a chunk of hair from the front of my face.

"Yeah, and I'm totally okay," Maria said, defending herself.

"It's your funeral," Lana said, laying back on the bed.

"I'm not going kill her," Maria said, flaring her nostrils and pretending to cut Lana's little toe.

"I mean her social life," Lana responded.

"I have you guys; I don't need anything else," I said, sticking my tongue out at her.

"I mean romantically,"

"Can you stop? I'm going to shave your eyebrows off while you sleep," Maria said, frowning at her.

"Well, it's true she's been moping around for three months. You need to get laid, Lia. That's how you get over a guy; you get under another one,"

The thought of doing that made me want to throw up. I only want to be under one guy, and the idea of that just made me want to start crying.

My face must have reflected my thoughts because Maria frowned.

"I swear, Lana, you have zero tact sometimes," Maria said, putting her arms around me and bringing me her chest. The scissors in her hand were making me nervous.

"I have been tactful all summer, but she's my best friend, and she's super cute, even with the botched bangs you're about to give her."

She turned to look at me, "Lia, this is your prime. You are a Senior and one of the cutest girls, and while you've gotten a bit skinny, I am sure you are at the top of most guys lists at Trinity and possibly several other private schools," she said, crossing her arms in front of her.

"Plus," She added, "you don't think Robbie has been banging other people?"

My eyes widened. I hadn't thought of that yet.

"Lana!" Maria said, covering my ears. Metal pressed into my cheek, and I grabbed the scissors from her hand.

"It's true; why lie to her?" she said, gesturing towards me with her arm, "So she has a breakdown when she sees some junior Abigail clone hanging off his arm?"

"It's not true, Lia. I have barely seen him this summer, and Lana hasn't at all. She's just talking out of her ass," Maria said, narrowing her green eyes.

"I don't need to see him! I've known Robbie for 12 years," Lana said, rolling her eyes. She turned to look at me, "Lia, you need to get laid; trust me, I have gone through many breakups. Nothing works better."

"It's her first love. Let her mourn it. Might I remind you of Andrew Morrison?" Maria said, grabbing the scissors from my hand and going back to part my hair.

Lana's jaw dropped with indignation, and her eyebrows came together.

"Who is Andrew Morrison?" I asked, looking back and forth between the two of them.

"No one!" Lana said, putting a pillow over her face.

"Lana's first love, he left her for another girl, and she cried for half a year." Maria said, twisting my hair in her hand, "Is this high enough or higher?" She asked Lana.

Lana pressed the pillow to her face and screamed into it.

"Lana, stop being a drama queen; look at her bangs."

She peeked from underneath the pillow, "a little higher," she mumbled.

"I'm not going that high; I want her to be able to clip them to the side if she doesn't have time to fix them in the morning," Maria said.

"Why do you ask me if you're just going to do what you want?" Lana asked, waving her hand at us.

Suddenly her head sprung up from the pillow.

"Okay fine, I did obsess a bit over Andrew, but you know when it was all over, the one thing I thought to myself is damn, I wasted half a year feeling crappy about this guy. Then I noticed how many beautiful boys there are and moved forward," She said.

Maria sighed.

"I bet you Garret still likes you," Lana said, wiggling her eyebrows.

"Lana, no, that poor boy," I said, shaking my head.

"Keep still," Maria said as she started cutting my hair. I felt the strands softly hit my cheeks as they fell.

"Done, she said after two snips, now we just need to do the finishing touches," she said, running a comb through my hair, "Lia is right; I think we messed with Garret enough last year," She said, and I could hear the guilt in her voice.

"You need a jerk, Lia," Lana said, pounding her fist into her palm for emphasis.

"What?" Maria and I asked at the same time.

"Yeah, like a guy that is a total ass and that you won't feel bad if you rip and dip."

"I don't think girls can rip and dip," Maria said, walking to her dresser to grab a hand mirror from her top drawer.

"Tap and run a lap," Lana said. "No?" She asked when we both gave her a weird look.

"Well, my point still stands; you need a hot douche bag that will give you a good thrill, but that you won't be leading on because they don't do relationships or he's not ready or whatever BS he wants to excuse his man-whoring with."

"So basically every guy you date, Lana," Maria said, grabbing the hair straightener.

"You also just described Chris," I said. "No thanks, been there, done that."

"Wait—What?" Maria said, her eyes wide.

"Yeah, we made out a while back it was nothing to write home about," I said, trying to grab the mirror from her hands.

"Why was he a bad kisser?" She asked, her green eyes looking perplexed.

"No. Just we don't have any chemistry," I said, shrugging.

"Definitely not Chris, one that isn't best friends with your ex. I don't think Chris will survive if you guys bump uglies and Robbie finds out," Lana said, looking at my hair pensively.

"Wait, so when did you make out with Chris?" Maria asked, ignoring everything Lana was saying.

"Uhh, that time we slept over your house when Nicole came to visit. It was a long time ago."

"Does Robbie know about this?" She asked.

"Yeah, he saw us," I said as she passed the straighter through my hair.

"Geez Maria, what's with the third degree," Lana asked.

"Nothing, I mean, it's just surprising, and apparently everyone but me knows about it," she said, frowning.

"I didn't tell anyone because nothing came of it," I said, "We kissed, we found each other boring, we never mentioned it ever again."

"Can we stop talking about my cousin and watch a movie. I'm as bored as Lia was making out with him," Lana said.

"Fine," Maria huffed, seemingly dropping it. 

Thank you for reading the first chapter! I hope you enjoyed it! Please vote, comment, and follow if you did!