~  A true and honest relationship is two flawed people, refusing to give up on each other~

Nandini was mortified, wanting the earth to swallow her up when she heard Mrs. Chatterjee say that. She looked up at her, big doe eyes filled with tears; guilt and regret shining in them. Mrs. Chatterjee took a step forward and rested her palm on her head, patting her twice.

" Don't beat yourself up for this Nandini. It's not your fault, if Manik didn't tell you", she tried to console Nandini who felt guiltier every passing second. He did so many things just to make her smile when he himself was in such acute pain, and she had not even had a hint of it.

" I didn't tell him either, but that didn't stop him from holding me", she muttered, not wanting to show how much she was hurt this time. She thought in all these months, there had been progress, that Manik had opened up to her, but all her fantasies were crushed with the truth today that Manik still had not let her enter his personal space. He still preferred to tackle his battles alone, that she was meant to share his smiles and not his tears.

Mrs. Chatterjee sighed, watching the contemplating look on Nandini's face. She knew it was not anger this time, it was hurt. Nandini was hurt not only at her own incapability to be there for him, but also at the way he had not even bothered to share such an important day of his life with him, and it was clearly etched all over face.

" Nandini, Manik has not talked about it with anyone, all these years, not even me when I pester him with it. You can't expect him to change suddenly, can you?", Mrs. Chatterjee spoke softly, well aware of the tears that were beginning to roll down her eyes.

" He could have at least told me about it. I won't bother him unnecessarily, I thought he knew that. But he smiled for me, made me dance and all happy stuff, while he was himself what, sad?", Nandini didn't mean to snap but she did, regretting it immediately, but before she could apologies, she saw a chuckle left the old lady.

" And what makes you think that while he was making you laugh, and smiling with you, he wasn't happy?", One question and Nandini could feel her eyes dilating like wide saucers. Her face immediately softened, her eyes twinkling at the prospect.

" Do you think he was happy?", She questioned to be sure, her heart beating faster than usual.

" Well, I know that you make him happy. You make him want to live life king size, and watching you smile, is his favorite pass time. He forgets the world in your smile", Mrs. Chatterjee laughed, a little tease in her voice, an attempt to lighten the environment.

It worked though, as a red hue started to creep up her cheeks, and an adorable smile formed on her lips, the exact one Manik doted on.

" Maybe, he actually felt better in all those moments that he was trying to cheer you up. And Nandini, Manik told you to smile on your mother's birthday right? Why do you think he will want to make you sad later by his own burden then? Sometimes it's not about the lack of intimacy or trust that forces people to shut off, it's just the inability that had formed out of being called out names for sharing", Nandini's eyes snapped up at that, and something at the back of her mind told her it was all because of those people he called his friends, which reminded her about her pending talk with Mukti.

" I know he hasn't told you the whole thing, even I know bits and pieces of it, but Nandini when you are hurt for being you, trust me that's the worst kind of hurt, and Manik had suffered exactly that", Mrs. Chatterjee had a very sad smile on her face, a mother's smile for her son's pain.

Nandini extended her hand to hold the lady's hand, and squeezed it, giving her a smile of his own. She didn't verbally reassured her because she did not really know what to say. But it was enough of a gesture to convey that she was there for him, and would always stay.

Mrs. Chatterjee left a few minutes later, blessing her with all that she could, and Nandini made herself busy in the kitchen, since she didn't know where to find him. The only option she had was to wait.

-----

Mrs. Chatterjee walked along the sea shore carefully. The last thing she wanted was to break her hip or something out of falling here, yet, her eyes scanned the entire beach carefully for a certain mop of black hair, and owing to his height, he wasn't that difficult to spot. He sat in a secluded corner, his knees drawn upto his chest, and arms wound around them, with his hair falling back with the air.

She took small steps until she reached him and settled near him, breaking his trance. He raised his eyes, but said nothing.

" I hoped this year it would be Nandini beside you here", she spoke with a certain weight that made Manik lower his head.

" I tried", two words and all that she had built up to scold him for his mistake, vanished in thin air. She immediately looked at him, and Manik raised his own eyes to meet hers too.

" I tried Maa. I tried when she was cooking and I was standing behind her, I tried in the morning when she was getting ready, I tried when you called. But somehow, the words didn't come out. I know it's Nandini, and I know she wants to be there for me. I understand she is not like them, but Maa, the fear paralysed me, so much that I had to leave home abruptly", Manik confessed, his eyes dark than they usually seemed, and Mrs. Chatterjee sighed before patting his head, and pulling her close into her bosom.

" Why did they have to go Maa? Why couldn't I stay with them a little more?", Manik sobbed, and she rubbed his back and held him close. Some questions don't have answers, and some mysteries remain unsolved forever, like that of death.

They sat there for some time, in silence.

" You know Maa, something has still changed though", Manik broke the silence, but didn't look at her, and she didn't ask because she knew he would clarify.

" For the last four years, I have spent the entire night here, sitting and basking their memories. This year, it's not even midnight and I want to go home", nothing could have made Mrs. Chatterjee more happier than this, and the big grin that formed on her face, mirrored on Manik's too as he chuckled watching her excitement, before both of them getting up and making their way to the exit.

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When Nandini heard the door creaked open, she was sitting on the dining table, with her head resting on the table. She had accidentally dozed off waiting for her husband, but when she saw him closing the door without a sound, she smiled at him, albeit half sleepy. Manik returned the smile, guilty of making her wait.

She stood up, walking upto him, and kissing his cheek softly.

" Get changed, I will warm up the food", she nudged him and he nodded, before disappearing into the room.

Changed into tracks and a casual t-shirt, Manik came out to find his favorite white sauce pasta, some cold pizza and moose cake, and a big tub of mint choco chip ice-cream served on the table. His shocked eyes met hers, who was already grinning, shrugging her shoulders as if all this was nothing.

Manik held her by her shoulders, and dropped his forehead on hers, breathing loud and heavy.

" I don't know what I will do without you", he breathed into her ear, his eyes closed and that refrained him from seeing how that one sentence wiped off the smile from his face.

" Doesn't seem like I matter too much by the way", would have been her response if the circumstances were better, but today, she kept quiet, raising her hands to cup his face, before dropping a chaste kiss on his forehead.

Dragging her to the table, she took a spoon of the pasta and fed him, and he obeyed like a good child, keeping his tears at the bay. She was still waiting for him to say it, and he was still contemplating how to, but ended up being errily quite, both of them. He fed her back, and both nestled on the couch, sharing the huge tub of ice-cream, their minds running in different directions.

Once done, Nandini wrapped up the remaining house hold work, and made her way to the bedroom, where Manik was already sitting on the bed, his gaze lost as he watched the moon shining at the window. Nandini exhaled, looked like she had to put in a lot more efforts into this relationship than what she had previously imagined.

She entered the bed, and that broke Manik's trance. He saw her rubbing her night lotion over her face and arms, before switching off the lights and turning the lamp on. As she lay down, he did too, turning on her side to face her, while all she did was try and avoid his eyes. She wished him good night, pulling up the comforter, and closed her eyes.

Manik didn't close his eyes, he kept them fixed over her face, balancing his weight on one hand as she slept on her side too, facing him. A few minutes later, it seemed to him that she had slept off, and he took the opportunity to place his right hand over her left one, resting over the pillow beside her.

" It's surreal for me Nandini, how you put up with all my tantrums, my flaws and never complain. It's unbelievable how you knew I was holding up, not letting you in but you didn't shout on me, and in your own way looked out for me. Days like these, I really think I don't deserve someone like you, but does that change the fact that I need you in my life too, to stay sane? I wish I could tell all this while you were awake and watch you blush at that, but...", He sighed amidst his whisper, resting his head on the pillow finally.
He shifted a little closer to her, and dragged her hand near his chest, flexing his knees and elbows as he fell asleep in foetal position, with her hand sandwiched between both of his and kept near his chest.

When she finally felt him not moving anymore, Nandini opened her eyes, grinning.

" Whenever I begin to loose my hope in 'us', you consciously or unconsciously give me one more reason to hold on", she whispered back, smiling wide, shifting a little closer herself making it easier for him to hold her, before actually falling asleep.

Some time later, Nandini felt the tight grip on her hand that snapped open her eyes. Adjusting in the din light, she saw Manik had come closer, his head near her chest as he held to her hand like his life was dependent on it. It took a few more minutes for her to realize he was lightly weeping into her hand. She knew better than to call his name and make him conscious of all of it. She shifted slightly to let her free hand in his hair, and silently began to ruffle it.

The knowledge that she was awake and yet giving him his space, did more bad than good to Manik, but at that point he was tired of crying alone. To her surprise, he shifted his frame a little up, leaving her hand and hugged her tight, resting his head in the hollow of her neck.

Sure, it was kind of uncomfortable since both were lying straight, his weight was on her, but the moment Nandini felt him close, she shifted a little, her hand cupping the back of his head, and the other one on his back, while her legs were tangled with hers.

Nothing could be more comfortable in the world, than this!

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Note: Some romance coming up. Next update Thursday, 7th March.
Hold on your breaths, and reviews awaited!