After Eve's mother had left her apartment, Javíer held Eve in her living room while she tried her best to pull herself together. He almost found it adorable how she'd keep pulling away from him to pace the floor, claiming to be okay. Only to tear up again moments later and melt back into his arms. She couldn't bear to keep up the facade, but Javí admired her efforts.

All he could do was rub her back while he racked his brain trying to figure out what to do next. He wanted so badly to help her, but Javí had only heard bits and pieces of their conversation without any context to help him understand what was really going on between them.

All Javí knew for sure was that Eve had recently lost a pregnancy and that the problems that she had with her family ran deep. But the longer Eve sobbed against his chest, the more helpless Javíer felt. And if there was one thing that the two of them had in common, it was their shared hatred of that feeling.

"You were pregnant?" Was all Javí could think to ask, since that had been his biggest discovery from the conversation she had with her mother.

"Yes." Eve nodded as she choked on her sobs. "But I lost the baby. It happened only a few weeks before I came here."

"Fuck, I'm so sorry, Eve." Javí cursed as he held her a little tighter and kissed the top of her head.

"It was so terrible...I was a little over five months along, I'd just started showing a little bit." Eve explained, finally looking up from her hands with a dark look in her eyes. "No matter what you might hear from those people, I wanted her, Javi. I really wanted her. I was terrified about becoming a mother, but I was changing my whole life for my daughter... sometimes, I could feel her move...she was everything to me."

"I believe you." Javí reassured her with a pained expression when he noticed her hand unconsciously start to cradle her now flat tummy. "Why wouldn't I believe you?"

"It's sorta why I'm here...everything was a mess...Jack and the wedding. All the lies." Saying her ex fiance's name was like a natural antidote to her sadness. Just thinking about him again was infuriating; evident by the almost violent way she wiped away her tears and let out a sharp huff.

"The wedding?" Javíer's eyebrows jumped up in surprise.

"I never wanted to marry that son of a bitch in the first place." Eve practically growled. "The bastard confessed to messing with my birth control. Who the fuck does that? He thought that if I had his baby, I'd never leave him. Well, fuck him!"

Eve's voice trembled and she couldn't seem to get enough air into her lungs. It was hard to get out her thoughts and only seemed to be able to speak in short sentences. She'd gone so long without letting her frustrations out. But now her adrenaline was pumping and couldn't seem to stop herself.

"You've gotta be fucking kidding me." Javíer seethed. He couldn't believe what he was hearing and wished he could get his hands on a man that he'd never met.

"I was stupid enough to think he was being nice when he started picking up my prescriptions for me." Eve rolled her eyes. "You can't fault his logic. Jack really thought that he had his bases covered. If I had his kid - then he'd always be a part of my family, no matter what. But I ended up calling his bluff and dumped his ass."

"That's my girl." Javí praised as he reached out and smoothed out her hair and tucked an unruly lock behind her ear. She was so sad and angry, but Javí found himself proud of her for standing up to her ex. She had handled leaving Jack a lot better than he had handled leaving Lorraine back in the day.

"Jack never saw it coming. He never thought that I'd choose my baby over him and my job...over my parents strong objections." Eve added, trying to ignore the look of pride in Javí's eyes. She was no hero and didn't deserve his admiration. "I was maybe four and a half months along when I resigned. I had just found out the sex of the baby that morning. Maybe knowing what I was having made things feel more real for me, I dunno." Eve shrugged. "I just knew I was done. I even told Jack that I was leaving him on the same day, too."

"Wow, you really were done. Big day, huh?" Javi tried to jest.

"Maybe it was the hormones; they're really no joke." Eve playfully groaned. "I decided that I was going to raise our baby by myself; somewhere far away from DC. I even contacted a realtor. But then my parents got involved."  Eve bitterly spat out. "And the Capshaws never let a good tragedy go to waste. They cut some deals with Jack and his father, then all of a sudden a wedding was happening whether I liked it or not."

"Are you serious?"

"Fun fact, Jack never even proposed." Eve puffed out a small laugh that trailed into a sad sigh. "I wasn't even involved in the decision. Nice, huh?"

"I've heard a lot of fucked up shit in my day." Javí attested as he ran his hands through his hair in disbelief. "But this is really something else. This isn't the fucking middle ages, for christ sake. How could they do that to their daughter?"

"For my parents, their only daughter having a baby out of wedlock was suddenly completely unacceptable now that I wanted to move away and leave the baby's father." Eve bitterly ranted. "They tried to hide it, but mostly they were pissed because I quit my job." Eve continued to pace the floor with little Murphy Muffins trying his best to keep up with her. "My dad went into damage control mode and pulled some strings with my boss, so I could come back whenever I wanted. But the truth was, they didn't give a shit about the baby for months."

"They didn't care about their own grandchild?" Javí asked in disbelief, knowing that his own father would do cartwheels at the very thought of becoming an abuelo one day.

"At one point, their staff both forgot I was pregnant and they sent me two bottles of champagne. Two! Must have slipped their minds; they're very busy people, after all." Eve sarcastically added. "But suddenly, I was being unfair to my family by leaving DC. Fucking ridiculous. 'Family'...whatever."

"The balls on them for playing the family card after forgetting that you were pregnant."

"Such bullshit." Eve mirrored Javi's scowl but loved that for the time being he was on her side. "See, publicly the Capshaws are supposed to be conservative when it comes to family values - which is a joke. Just ask my mother's personal trainer and my father's press secretary. They've been having long term affairs with them for years! I know them! I send them Christmas cards and have lunch dates with them when we're in the same city." Eve rambled on with her kitten close on her heels. "It's an open secret in our family, it's like having a set of secret step parents. The two of them are even friends. But me? No, I have to marry a dickhead that ..."

"That manipulated and violated their daughter's trust." Javíer finished her thought for her with a groan as he rubbed his face with the palms of his hands. "Outstanding husband material for their kid."

"I fought them...I really did." Eve tried to defend herself for going along with the wedding like a sheep headed to slaughter. "I didn't care about our family's 'reputation.' But they sat me down and gave me a whole song and dance about how starting a family with Jack would get my head back in the game and give me more stability. But, in reality, they simply liked the guy and thought he was the best thing for me."

"Sounds like they liked whatever deal they cooked up with Jack's father, too." Javí added.

"You catch on quick, Jav." Eve sadly smiled. She hated how badly she was shaking, but she just couldn't stop. "But I did fight them. I fought them really hard. So hard, that my dad pulled out the big guns and threatened someone close to me. Someone completely innocent."

"Who?"

"My 16 year old nephew." Eve confessed as she chewed on her bottom lip. "My brother, Ben, had a kid right before he died.  No one knows about him. I'm the only one Josh has a relationship with in my fucked up family; thank god. My dad knew that I would do anything to protect him."

"Shh, baby." Javí soothed. He was worried about her, he had never seen her like this and was worried that she was going to hyperventilate if she didn't slow down her breathing.

"My father pulled me aside and threatened to upend his whole life if I didn't play ball!" Eve cried out as if she had to defend her actions to Javíer. "I just couldn't let that happen. I had no choice and I ended up going along with the stupid engagement. Jack was my baby's father and I convinced myself that maybe I still could love him one day or that maybe having a baby would change him and make him a better person...what a joke." Eve huffed, finally noticing that little Murphy was looking up at her. Eve let out a loud sigh and picked up her new kitten, explaining the rest of the sordid tale to him in a calmer voice. "But then I lost the baby and I just couldn't go through with it anymore, Murph. Once I knew my nephew was safe, I ran."

"And you ran to Colombia." Javí deduced as he watched her care for the purring kitten.

"My mother's idea." Eve disclosed as she placed Murphy on her couch and turned to face Javíer. "The plan was to stay here until things calmed down. Our engagement was big news and the invitations had already been sent out. So Jack and his family think I've made fools out of them. They started spreading lies about me and the baby to save face; it's disgusting. My mom asked me if I wanted to go to Switzerland or Colombia until things blew over. So I tossed a coin."

"Jesus." Javí sighed as he ran his hand down his face and let that sink in. He was shocked that Eve coming into his life came down to something as random as a coin toss. "None of this is any of my business, Eve. Don't feel like you have to tell me all of this. I'm not trying to push you. I can see how hard this is for you."

"But I want us, Javí. You and me." Eve insisted as she took a deep breath to try and steady herself. She took his hand and felt stronger when he squeezed her hand and linked their fingers together. Touching him always managed to center her and remind her of what was really important, it was as if Javi had a superpower that only worked on her.

"I want that too." Javí shyly smiled as he squeezed her hand again.

"I should have told you all of this already. I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry."

"Don't you dare apologize, Eve." Javí ordered. "I mean it. Enough with that shit. You don't owe me - or your fucking family, anything, baby."

"I just really want us to work." Eve sniffed. "And for us to work. For us to really work; you have to know what you're getting into...I just don't know where to start."

"There's more?" Javí nearly laughed. "Just start wherever you want to, baby." Javí suggested as he ran his hands up and down her arms. He had no idea what he was in store for, but Javí just couldn't get over how even now, tear stained and heartbroken, Eve still remained the most precious thing in the world to him. "We have all day, Eve. I'm not going anywhere."

"I thought I was braver than this." Eve uttered under her breath. Her miscarriage was still so hard to talk about, but somehow saying the words out loud had hurt less this time. She attributed that to Javíer's calm presence and hoped that if he stayed calm, that she would, too.

Javíer hated how lost Eve seemed as she tried to figure out where to start, opening her mouth and then closing it multiple times. Each attempt made her more and more frustrated with herself.

Even though the anticipation was killing him, Javíer couldn't help but want to go back to the last time the two of them were truly at peace and insync with each other. And that would've been late last night in her shower after they had made love. After they had washed each other's hair, they had simply held each other close. After a while, they began to feel as though they had blended together into one person. Missing that feeling, the beginnings of a plan began to form in Javíer's mind as he led Eve to her bathroom.

"It's okay, Eve." Javíer soothed as she followed him. Her breathing sounded shaky and Javí hated that sound. "Take your time."

"You're so good to me." Eve whined as he pushed her silly colourful shower curtain out of the way and turned on her shower. "It kills me when you think you're not good enough for me. You're not the only one in this bathroom that's done things that they aren't proud of."

"Is this about your pregnancy?" Javíer gently asked. She had stressed to him that she had wanted her baby. But he couldn't help but jump to the conclusion that maybe she had to terminate it. But he wasn't about to judge her if that had been her decision. It sounded as though she had been in an impossible situation.

"About my job." Eve admitted with her bottom lip trembling."I didn't have an abortion." Seemingly able to read his mind. But right off the bat her voice betrayed her and began cracking. "I lost her on my way to pick up a custom dollhouse I had ordered for her."  Fresh tears welled up in her eyes and she had to turn her back to him as the steam of the shower filled the room. Her confession made Javier look too damn sad, and Eve was barely holding herself together. "I got myself to the nearest hospital...and there was no heartbeat. I think I wanted to name her Claire. But I was waiting to see if she looked like a Claire. What if she looked like a Mia? I thought I had more time to decide."

"I'm so sorry, baby." Javí soothed in a low voice as she rambled. "Tell me about your job." Javí suggested as he adjusted the temperature on her shower. From the beginning, Eve had always seemed overqualified to be filing paperwork and bringing him his coffee. Besides, talking about her loss was too devastating for both of them.

"God, I'm so fucking weak." Eve cursed. This was it. She was going to tell him everything. She just wished that she could keep it together long enough to get her words out.

Eve could tell that Javíer was undressing in silence. He must be dying to know more, but was giving her the time she needed. His patience was a reminder of all that she had to lose but she followed suit and peeled her clothing off, as well.

"I started out as a writer." Eve quickly admitted after Javíer took her hand like a gentleman and helped her step into the bathtub.

"A writer? Jesus, Eve." Javíer exclaimed as he started breathing again. "You scared the shit out of me! A published writer?"

"I started out as a writer." Eve repeated. "And yeah. I wasn't half bad. I've written all my life. I got my first book published when I was twenty two and I even made the New York Times Best Sellers List for the first time when I was...what? Twenty five, I think." Eve shrugged, trying to downplay her accomplishments and wipe the impressed look off of Javíer's face. Her success was nothing compared to the mistakes that she's made.

"Fuck, I thought you were a serial killer." Javíer laughed while he got his hair wet. "For the first time? You've had more than one bestseller?" Javí paused for her response, but she blushed and looked away and he had his answer. "What do you write?"

"I was mostly a ghostwriter." Eve explained as she watched him wash his hair. "Famous people hardly ever write their own autobiographies. Especially politicians."

The word 'politicians' caused Javíer to pause for a moment before he rinsed out his hair. He tried to hide it from her, but she could practically see the wheels turning in his head. After all, one of her favorite things about him was his code and how his mind worked. Javíer didn't suffer fools gladly - or enjoy the political games that he'd been forced to witness throughout his career. Especially since his promotion. Little did he know, Eve used to specialize in those games.

Eve was still scared of his reaction, but there was no turning back. She didn't deserve him and it bothered her to her core that he felt as though he was the unworthy one. But then it dawned on her. Why couldn't he know? Maybe - just maybe - he'd understand. After his involvement with Los Pepes and not being there to personally take down Escobar, maybe Javíer was the only person on the planet that could understand what it felt like to have to live with the consequences of your actions. Eve found it a little fitting that she was standing in front of him naked when she was about to become emotionally naked, too.

"Too hot?" Javí asked as he tried to remain physically unfazed by his beautiful naked visitor. But his body betrayed him and he found himself getting hard when Eve took the soap and began to wash his back.

"In more ways than one." Eve puffed out a little sad laugh as Javí turned the hot water down a little for her. She was distracted by his body but tried to stay focused on her goal, but it was difficult when she began to ache for him again. There was no use denying that she had become addicted to the man. "I wish you understood. I want to deserve this." Eve gestured between the two of them.

"I'm no prize. Make me understand." Javí pleaded. "I want to know you, princesa."

"Please stop calling me that. It just makes it harder. You make me sound so sweet and innocent." Eve sniffed as the reality of what she was about to confess began to sink in. "You're not the only one that's done things that they wish they could take back."

"It's not the same, Eve." Javí countered with a small scoff. They came from completely different worlds. There was no way that she could have fucked up as badly as he had. He had a body count for christ sake.

"No. You're right." Eve challenged as her self loathing began to bubble up. "You caught feelings for a prostitute and made some mistakes trying to take down a psychopath kingpin that was terrorizing an entire country. In my case, it's a lot worse, trust me. I didn't have a noble goal."

"You don't understand, Eve. Helena wasn't the only prostitute that I knew." Javí explained. "There were so many women that I tried to turn into informats...and you know what that led to."

"I get it, but you had a good reason." Eve found herself defending him. "It wasn't like you were trying to hurt them. You're famous for never compromising your sources."

"But a lot did get hurt. And the corruption here. I don't even know where to begin. It does stay with you." Javí sighed as he brought up the conversation that they had the night before. "All the blood. I've lost friends...watched men that I respected do unspeakable things. I've done...I've done unspeakable things, too, Eve." Javí looked away. He couldn't stand to watch her start to hate him once she knew what he was capable of. "One man, who I would have given my life for, killed a child right in front of me."

"Oh, Javí." Eve cried, stunned by his admission. "I had no idea."

"What's worse is...looking back, it was calculated." Javíer admitted, not only to Eve, but to himself, as well. "You've read our files. Escobar used kids in his operation. Mostly as