chapter twelve

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"Cup your hands together."

"Why?" He pondered, his voice raspier than usual.

"Just do it," I replied, rolling my eyes.

I was back at Tobias's apartment. After his confession I found myself wanting to be around him. I had so much more respect for him once I found out about his troubling past. He somehow convinced me to come stay the night with him. I couldn't come up with any excuse considering it was a weekend and I had no classes to attend.

I felt the bed shift as he laid on his back. My eyes adjusted to darkness. The only source of light that was visible was from the luminous moon. It created a silhouette of our bodies on the wooden floor.

"Okay now what?" He asked. I laid on my stomach and admired his rugged face. His eyes fluttered rapidly as he tried to adjust to the darkness.

"Do you see a smiley face or a frown?"

"What is that supposed to mean?" He asked amused. I smiled softly before leaning over his chest. He was shirtless and I could feel his toned stomach under my arms.

"Look at your palms as you cup them. There should be a line that connects. Look at mine," I told him.

I cupped my hands in front of him and showed him what I meant. Since he was propped up on his pillows he could see at a much better advantage.

"It's a frown."

I nodded. "Let's see yours."

Tobias cupped his hands again. I leaned over his chest and noticed that his formed a frown as well. I traced them softly with my index finger.

"Looks like you hide behind a smile as well."

"What does this all mean?"

His voice was deep and husky. I noticed his voice changed significantly when he was tired.

"I don't know honestly," I replied while exhaling deeply. I rested my head on his chest and it felt rise gently every second or so.

"Do you ever wish you can sit on a cloud?" He asked suddenly.

I giggled a little at his random question and heard him complain through my laugher.

"It's a serious question!" He defended. I could feel his stomach vibrate from laugher.

"I never thought about it. But now that you say it I do. It'll be like one big fluffy pillow."

"Sometimes I have these weird dreams where I'm all these different objects."

"And sometimes you're a cloud?" I ask, tilting my head upward so I was facing him.

"It's weird I know."

I shrug and rest my head back on his chest. "Not really. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. Dreams... Dreams are just our subconscious working things out. It's kind of like a filter that keeps the conscious mind from going insane. We all need to have weird dreams now and then."

"Look at you being all studious. You'll make a great psychiatrist one day," he earnestly replied.

I felt my cheeks warm from his compliment and a smile formed that I didn't think would leave anytime soon. My stomach grumbled unexpectedly and I cursed myself for ruining such a good moment.

"Are you hungry?" He asked with a hint of concern in his voice.

"I'm fine," I mumbled. This was a lie. After all that walking I was starving.

"Your stomach just growled. You're hungry," he protested. Before I could argue he got up making my body slump on his bed.

"Hey! I was using your body was a pillow," I complained.

When he didn't reply I huffed out in frustration and got out of his bed as well. I tripped over one of his shoes on the floor making me lose my balance.

"You should really clean your apartment!"

"Clean it for me!" He yelled back.

I could hear some things rummaging in there and I assumed he was looking for a pan. Who eats at four in the morning? I guess Tobias does. I found a hoodie and pulled it over my thin body. It was too big on me but I didn't mind. Baggy clothes were always the most comfortable.

"That's a job for a girlfriend and I am not your girlfriend," I petulantly replied.

I walked into the kitchen and sat on his countertop and watched him cook. He emptied a whole box of noodles into a pot and put the lid on top.

"If you're not my girlfriend then what are you?" He demanded.

He shifted his body in my direction and leaned against the counter. His joggers were hanging low on his waist and I could see the infamous V that guys had on their torso. It's been two long weeks since I've had sex and it was driving my hormones crazy. I blushed when I realized I was checking him out and saw that Tobias was smirking at me as if he caught me staring.

"We haven't even been on a date," I replied while clearing my throat. It was a lame excuse but it was the only thing I could think of.

Tobias snorted and crossed his arms. "So if I take you out on a date you would be my girlfriend. Sorry to break it to you sweetheart but I think we've passed that stage a long time ago."

I threw a dirty towel at him earning a deep chuckle. "It's exactly why I want to go on one."

I was surprised at how carefree and calm he was after he just told me his whole life story. I didn't question it though; everybody dealt with their problems in their own way.

"Fine. I guess I'll take the princess out."

I smiled brightly and pretended to act all proper by crossing my legs and raising my pinky. Tobias laughed deeply again, this time his head was tilted back from all the laughter. I felt my heart pound quickly by his actions. Even in the little things he managed to string my heart to his.

"Are you excited for Scott's wedding?" I asked while rummaging through his fridge. Once I saw nothing catching my eye I closed the door in defeat.

"I guess." Tobias shrugged and checked on his pasta.

I scuffed and glared at him. "It's in Antigua. You have to be excited."

Tobias shrugged again and I rolled my eyes at his nonchalant attitude.

"I can't wait to see your dance moves," I added. I couldn't picture him dancing. Just the thought of it made me erupt in laughter.

"I can show you them now," he replied flirtatiously.

My breathing became irregular as he stepped in front of me. He pinned his body next to mine and looked at my face, daunting me while staring at my lips. Right when I thought he was about to kiss me he reached behind me and grabbed his phone. I let out a groan earning a cocky smirk from Tobias.

"You're such a tease," I complained, pushing him back a little.

Tobias chuckled and plugged his phone into a sound system. He looked around on his phone before choosing a song. Slow Dancing In A Burning by John Mayer begins playing softly in the speakers.

"May I have this dance?" Tobias asked, outstretching his hand.

My cheeks heated up as I took his hand in mine. His rough hands rubbed against the exposed skin on my waist and I felt my body get pulled roughly against him.

"Someones eager," I joked.

His eyes seemed determined as he scanned my face. I could feel the atmosphere shift by just looking at the expression on his face.

We're going down and you know that we're doomed. My dear we're slow dancing in a burning room.

Our bodies swayed together as John Mayer's voice sang in the background. My hands curled around the nape of his neck. The bottom of his hair tickled my fingers and I moved them a bit lower. I could feel Tobias's hands move lower down my body until they rested on my butt.

"Hey. Hands up here," I snapped, moving his hands back into my waist. I saw a small smile curl on his face and I shook my head at his immaturity.

How dare you say it's nothing to me, baby you're the only light I ever saw

"How'd you get this?" I asked, running one of my hands on a scar next to his collar bone.

"I was seven. He hit me with the metal part of a belt."

I didn't need to ask who he was. Just from his voice I could tell who it was. His eyes didn't leave mine for a minute as he told me what happened. It was as if he remembered every scar he had and how he got them.

"And this?" I asked, gently touching another scar under his ear. This one seemed much more painful, it was centimeters away from his ear.

"I was ten. He threw a beer bottle at me because I wasn't cleaning the dishes fast enough."

My heart clenched at the thought of little Tobias being abused. No child should ever suffer from that.

You try to hit me just to hurt me and you leave me feeling dirty because you don't understand.

I felt something wet drip on my cheek and I realized I was crying. My tears shimmer on Tobias's tanned chest, rolling off of his body and onto the wooden floors.

"Hey, don't cry. They don't hurt anymore," he consoled. His hands moved away from my waist and rubbed the tears away from under my eyelids.

"They shouldn't have hurt you at all," I choked.

I hated myself for crying in front of him. My emotions got over the best of me. I always tried to keep my emotions hidden but they seemed to always heighten before my menstrual cycle.

"Come here," he softly said. His arms coiled around my body as I tucked my head into his chest.

I felt him move backward, moving me along with him, and heard a click indicating the stove was off. I felt his strong hands tighten around my waist, as if I would disappear if he let go. Our bodies moved together as we walked like we were one person instead of two. I felt Tobias's body shift. Through my glistening eyes I saw him trip over something making me release a teary giggle. Tobias cursed loudly as he fixed his composure. I felt his calloused hands around my waist again and before I knew what was happening I being lifted up on his king sized bed.

"I could've done that you know," I weakly told him.

He didn't reply. Instead he grabbed his comforters and padded them on top of me before getting back in bed next to me.

"I'm sorry for crying. You're the one that got hurt and here I am crying," I pathetically admit.

"Reign don't apologize. Just know I'm fine now."

I nodded softly before scooting closer to him. I laid my body next to him and felt his arms scoop my waist. His head rested on top of mine and I felt his lips leave a small kiss on my head. I felt myself enjoying the feelings of being held; it made me feel safe and secure. I felt my eyes begin to droop and I let out a tired yawn.

"Reign?" He asked minutes later.

"Hmm?" I sleepily hummed in response.

"Nothing... Go to sleep."

I knew there was something else he wanted to say but I didn't have it in me to find out. I didn't have to be told twice before dozing off to sleep. That was the last memory I had before falling asleep in the arms of the guy I was slowly falling in love with.


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