chapter thirty nine

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Excuse me first love, but we're through. I need to taste a kiss from someone new. Forgive me first love.

"Reign, wait!" Tobias called after me.

"Tobi!" Rachel wined. I almost gagged at the sound of her voice and continued to walk away. If I stopped now I knew I was going to tear her head off.

"Don't call me that and you better be out my room by the time I get back," I heard him spat, before slamming the door behind him.

"Reign!" Tobias yelled again, jogging after me. "Just listen to me!"

"No!" I fumed, stomping away. "I'm tired of hearing all your fucked up lies!"

"Please, just let me explain," he pleaded. I could hear him much clearer now, meaning he was only steps away from me.

"Tell me this," I seethed, stopping so I could look him in his eye. He seemed startled as he quickly stopped walking. I glared up at him, my chest rising quickly due to how angry I was.

"Was any of this," I yelled, running a hand through my hair. I swallowed the lump beginning to form in my throat. "Was any part of our relationship real? Did you ever care about me? Or were you laughing behind my back as you screwed Rachel, again?"

Tobias looked guilty as if he knew what he did was wrong. He did do something wrong and this time I caught him. How many more times did something like this happen? Was there even another time or was this the first? Did I really want to know? His eyes looked at mines in pain. Could he see how much he hurt me? Could he feel my heart slowly begin to break?

"You can't tell me it's just because he kissed me," I stuttered. I could tell that I was on the verge of tears. "That's no reason for you to go around and cheat on me."

My body was shaking from anger and betrayal. I finally found someone I wanted to be with and now I couldn't picture being with him ever again. When it was clear I wasn't going to get any answers out of him I scuffed and turned around. I began walking to my own hotel room until I felt rough hands wrap around my wrist.

"Don't touch me!" I yelled, not caring if anyone could hear me. "Don't fucking touch me Tobias."

Tears began falling down my eyes and I quickly brushed them away with the back of my hand. Tobias's face displayed a range of emotions; pain, regret, guilt, sadness. He ran a hand over his hair and back down over his face.

"I know I fucked up, alright? But I was scared! After you told me that you loved me last night it got me thinking-"

I snorted. "I never said that. I'm not even sure if I could love someone like you."

Tobias gaped at me, his mouth slightly opened. "Reign, you're only saying that out of anger. I love-"

I covered his mouth, using my hand. "Don't. Don't you dare finish that. You can't tell someone you love them right after they caught you cheating! And of all the people you chose Rachel. Fucking Rachel! How could you?"

Tobias sighed. He looked like he just had a whole load of weight lifted on his shoulders. "I was angry and upset... Not to mention drunk. I was scared-"

"You keep saying you're scared, but what were you scared of?" I gritted my teeth. I was flaming with anger. "We were happy. We were finally happy and you ruined that."

There was a long pause between us both. We were in each other's faces, mines masked with anger whiles his was filled with guilt. We were both breathing heavy, both bottled up with a range of emotions.

"Reign, I'm sick," he finally said.

I snorted. "I know. You're a sick bastard-"

"No. I'm sick," he repeated, emphasizing the word sick.

A million thoughts ran through my head at once. What the hell did he mean he was sick? Did I pass down my cold? Did it have something to do with his career with boxing? Why was he telling me now?

"I... I don't understand," I replied, shaking my head.

Tobias grunted and turned around. He began pacing, looking uncomfortable. I could see him clenching his jaw repeatedly. His behavior was starting to worry me even though I was furious with him. Just as I thought his mini freak out was over he collided his fist against the wall of the hotel. His fist went through the wall, creating a big hole. Tobias hissed and clutched his fist in pain.

"Fuck that hurt," he grimaced, clutching his hand.

On instinct I quickly walked towards him to make sure he was okay. I grabbed his hand and tried to make sure I didn't hurt him anymore than he already was. If he was in pain anymore he didn't show it. When I finally looked up I saw him looking down at me, his eyes looking into mines deeply.

"I have a bad heart, an actual bad heart not like the metaphor or some shit," he said, my hands still clutching his gently. "It's been bad since I've been born due to my loving parents, but it's been getting worse. My doctors told me continuing to box would only worsen my condition but I didn't care. I was angry at the world. Nobody would've missed me if I was gone. But then everything changed when I met you.

"The day I met you, at the bar, was the day I found out I had a time limit, five months to be exact. I'm dying and I don't have much time left. I came to the bar to drown my sorrows but then I saw you. Meeting you was never part of the plan. I wasn't supposed to fall for you, not this hard. But you came into my life, you tangled my heart to yours."

Tobias sighed and looked at my hand laced in his. "Reign I wanted you since the first time I saw you."

My heart was beating crazily. I ripped my hands out of his. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "If this is some type of scheme to make me forget about what I just saw forget about it. This isn't funny Tobias."

"I'm not lying. Do you really think I would lie about something like this?" He responded, his face looking slightly annoyed and hurt.

"I don't know if I could ever believe you again," I frankly replied. "My trust for you has vanished. What I do know is I had enough of your excuses and lies for one tonight. So please, just let me go. Don't come after me this time."

"Reign. Reign!"

I began to walk away again, feeling my heart shatter with each step I took. I was heartbroken from Tobias cheating on me with Rachel, from hearing that he was dying, from learning that I would always be alone. How could I still love a man like that, a man who told me all these sweet things but then contradict his words by cheating on me?

I passed my room and began pounding on the door next to me. After what felt like forever Scott answered the door, his face in complete shock. He took in the tears rolling down my face and that's all it took for him to understand that something serious just happened.

"Take as long as you need."

He slipped by me and walked into the hotel hallway. I closed the door behind me and found Noel sitting on a stool with a water bottle in her hand. She had a huge smile on her face but as soon as she saw me the smile quickly disappeared.

I began sobbing before either of us could get a word out. Noel was next to me in seconds. She wrapped her soft arms around mines and let me cry on her shoulder, literally. I could feel my body shake against hers as I sobbed. I don't remember the last time I ever cried this much, this hard.

"Reign, you're scaring me," I heard Noel say in between my sobs. "What happened?"

I shook my head, not being able to talk. Noel leaned back, her hand still around my shoulders in a supportive way. Her forehead was creased with concern and her face was pale with worry.

"Reign! Talk to me!" Noel yelled, her own eyes beginning to tear up.

She was panicking now, unaware of how to help me. I don't blame her; I never been like this. I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself down. I was no longer crying hysterically. Instead I was sniffing, with the occasional tears spilling out.

"I broke up with Julian," I began. I knew that this wasn't the best place to start off but it would bring some tension off my chest by admitting it to her.

"And this has you all torn up? I mean I know break ups suck, but you never let a guy bring you did down before," she said, frowning. I shook my head, not knowing how to say this.

"It's not why I'm like this. Noel, I've been with Tobias for the past two months."

I held my breath as I stared at her. The secret that has been haunting me for the past couple of months was finally out in the open. The one thing I kept from my best friend was the one thing that managed to break me. I should've known that keeping something from her would result in something bad, but I was too naive, too blinded by the feeling that Tobias gave me, so I pushed the feeling behind me.

I was angry at him. Why did he have to make me love him? Why did he create a relationship with me knowing that he was going to die anyways? I had so many questions, so many unsettling thoughts running through my head.

"What do mean? You've been with Julian-"

"No I haven't," I interrupted, wiping the remaining tears. "Well I have been but it wasn't a real relationship. You remember that one night stand I had all those months ago?"

Noel nodded, still confused, not putting two and two together. I sighed, knowing I had to spell everything out for her.

"Tobias was that guy."

Noel gasped. She put her hands over her mouth, shocked by my confession. Her reaction told me this was going to be a long night. I looked around for any alcohol and groaned in my head when I couldn't find any.

"Shut up! Oh my god, Tobias was your one night stand? What happened?"

And that's when I told her everything. From my one night stand to seeing him outside my class. From having a relapse in judgement and having another steamy night with him to seeing him at the dinner. I told her about the time I saw him coming out the bathroom with Rachel and letting it go to seeing him at the gym and what he said. And then I went on to the recent stuff the happened, to how I told him I couldn't be with him even though I wanted to, how we were just a tangled mess but I couldn't stay, we couldn't stay away. Then finally I went on to how we were together for the past couple of days till what finally happened tonight.

I couldn't hold back the tears that fell down my eyes as I told her what happened, what I witnessed. I told her his confession, of how he was sick and dying. This only made me cry harder. Soon I could see Noel crying herself as she pulled me into her arms. I wrapped my own arms around her waist, enjoying the feeling of being comforted.

"I've never felt this way about someone Noel. I never opened up to someone as much as I did with him. I trusted him," I cried. "I trusted him."

"Reign, why did you keep all this from me?

"Because," I chocked, pulling away. "You're about to get into Julian's family and I didn't want to put you in a bad position-"

"Reign, you're my best friend. I don't care about that-"

I let out a teary laugh, giving her a small sad smile. "You may say that but I know you Noel. You've been craving for a family and you finally got one. I wasn't trying to put you in a tight situation. I couldn't, not after all that you've been through."

A single tear fell from her face. I could see something change in her, some gratitude it.

"I love you," I heard her say, before she hugged me again.

I sighed before curling my arms around her. "I love you too."

So I lied. I finished this chapter but the next chapter will hopefully give you all more answers to your questions.

Tobias is sick and dying ๐Ÿ˜ณ who would've guessed? I bet you guys are even more confused, but like I said, this is just the beginning of it all!!


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