Ever since Mustafa kissed me I just wanted him more and more, but I couldn't do anything about it.. it's so hard to just let him go when I love him so much..

Ive been thinking about him the whole night and didn't sleep at all, when I got up from bed I had black circles under my eyes, I went to Haman to fresh up and after that I put on one of my favorite dresses so I can feel a bit better

Of course I put soft scarf over my shoulders then I went to my mother's chamber to see how she's doing but she wasn't there for some reason, then I saw Mehmed while I was walking down the hallway "good morning Mehmed" I smiled at him and bowed "good morning Hieren " he smiled back "do you know where mother is?" I asked him " I was just going to her chamber, maybe she is with father?" I nodded "do u wanna go check with me?" "Sure" he smiled and we walked to our fathers chamber and opened the door, our father was standing in the middle of the room and our mom was siting on the couch..looks like an argument is going on "good morning mother, father " I bowed and Mustafa sahd and  did the same, our father turned to us and smiled "hello my precious children" he kissed my forehead and hugged Mehmed "good news my darling" father looked down at me and smiled, I looked at him exited "Mustafa will be staying here for some time "really?? No way! " I was so happy that I will see him again, but then I looked over to my mother and she looked angry so I tried to keep my exitment down .

Few hours have passed from the announcement and I'm sitting in my room brushing my hair while reading a book, then all if a sudden aga walks in "sultana" he bowed " yes Zumbul?" I asked not taking my eyes off of book " you're majesty wants to see you " I looked at him confused "why? Did something happen?" He just shrugged "I don't know my sultana " I quickly got up and followed aga to my father's chamber, when he let me in I walked in "hello father" I bowed " you wanted to see me? " I just noticed that my mother was here too, my father turned to me looking really sad "Hieren..we just got news from mustafa, his son died " my eyes widen "what...how?..what happened? " I whispered "we don't know.." my father looked down and I hugged him tight and he hugged me back, "he won't be coming here, we have to go to him" he said and I nodded.

We all got ready for our little trip to Mustafa (me, Suleiman and Hurrem ) ,I wore this dress with a black shawl over it

and after few hours we finally arrived there..there were already blanks flags all over the the castle and I couldn't help but tear up..poor innocent baby lost his life..it reminds me of time when Aunt Hatice lost her baby..she lost three baby's but thankfully she has beautiful children now and she's still not happy (sorry I had to say it 😭). We all walked in the castle and got greeted by Maids and agas, they were all wearing black and they directed us to a chamber where everyone is, we entered the chamber and we saw Fatma crying while hugging Mustafa and their baby in the crib, Mahidevran was also crying while looking at it. We greeted them and I walked over to the baby "poor little thing..." I whisper and caressed his cheeks with my fingers, I then walked over to Fatma and rubbed her back "hey..it will be ok..maybe that was ment to happen.. everything happens for a reason " I said to her with soft voice while removing her hair from her face, she turned to me and slapped me hard across the face, so hard that I almost fell "ITS YOUR FAULT! MY SON DIED BECAUSE OF YOU! HOW CAN YOU EVEN SHOW IN FRONT OF MY FACE!!" she screamed at me and everyone was shoocked, My mother then walked over to her and slapped her "DONT YOU DARE TOUCH MY DAUGHTER EVER AGAIN! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE!? YOURE JUST A SLAVE!" my mother screamed, my father took my mother's hand and backed her away, I couldn't help but tear up since the slap hurts alot, but I quickly wipe my tears away and walked over to Fatma "Fatma..I know this is hard for you , I can't say I know how you feel but it must me really horrible...I won'ta  do anything about what you just did since I know ur going through alot but next time you slap me like this I'll have no mercy I can promise you that" I said with a straight face, then I looked up at Mustafa and he just shook his head "how can you be so heartless Hieren " he whispered before hugging Fatma again and bringing her out of the chamber. Heartless?..am I really being heartless? I turned to look at my mom but she already left with my father and I was left with Mahidevran, I walked over to her and bowed, "I'm sorry you had to see that.." I whisper before looking at her and placed her hand on my cheek and Caressed it "it's not ur fault Hieren...you just tried to help..plus Fatma don't really like you and if course she will blame you" I nodded and she pulled me in for a hug wich I returned.

The funeral was done and the whole time I was crying , just the thought of it being funeral for little baby makes me so sad, then after we had dinner, I couldn't eat anything..I kept thinking about everything that happened, my mom noticed "Hieren darling you didn't eat anything, are you feeling well?" My mom asked and she patted my back, "actually..I feel a bit sick..may I please be excused?" I asked "do you need me to call the nurse? " "No it's fine..I'll just sleep" I said before getting up and bowing, then I went to the chamber I'm staying in and close the door behind me, I sat on bed and help my head in my hands "what's happening to me.." I whisper and then all of sudden I hear scream coming from the stone room, I quickly got up and rushed there, when I got there a girl ran out of Haman, I stopped her "What happened!?" I yelled and she said "F-Fatma!" I  wide open my eyes and rushed in Haman and I saw Fatma laying on floor with blood all around her I gasped and covered my mouth with my hand "Fatma" I whispered and then everything became black..I fainted.