~Hazel~

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My body still had goosebumps from where Nick touched me. My brain was frazzled and my heart was beating out of my chest.

I didn't know what happened in that room, but the air around us thickened, it was filled with tension and I was suffocating.

I had to leave. I couldn't stay there or else I was going to drown, drown in those broken emerald eyes.

And I couldn't do that again. Everything about Nick was wrong on so many levels. It's true he was a great guy now. But what would happen if he changed back to his old ways?

Back there in that room, something changed in him. He actually apologized to me, he held me in a way I had only dreamed of.

And yet he still let me go.

I know I can't expect much from him but I need to feel secure before I make my final decision.

"Is he alright?" Jordyn asks as I step into the stables.

"He will be" I respond with a weak voice.

I slowly walk over to Ollie who is petting Delilah and ruffle his hair. He smiles up at me before wrapping his arms tightly around my legs.

"You having fun kiddo?"

Ollie nods into my thighs, before going back to petting Delilah.

I step up to her snout and rub it along with Ollie. Jordyn steps up next to me and gently places a hand on my arm.

"Are you okay?" He asks.

"Yeah I'm fine"

He raises an eyebrow at me.

"What?"

"You're crying Hazel. What happened in there?"

I was crying?

I lift a hand to my cheek and feel the wetness left behind by the tears. Why was I crying?

I quickly wipe my eyes and grab Ollie's hand.

"I think we're going to head home." I tell him

He looks at me with a raised eyebrow.

"You can stay, I'll just grab a taxi"

"Hazel it'll cost you a fortune to ride a cab all the way back."

"It's fine really. I just, I need to go. Ollie can only handle so much." I lie.

Jordyn raises an eyebrow at me.

"Fine, I'll go call you a cab."

"Thank you" I tell him with a small smile.

Jordyn walks away and Ollie grips my hand tightly.

"Mommy?"

"Yes baby?"

"Why are you crying?"

I look down into Ollie's bright eyes.

"It's complicated baby. Sometimes things happen that just make you sad and confuse you, and it makes you go crazy because you don't know what to do."

"Can I help mommy? I don't want to see you sad."

I smile at my son before giving him a kiss on top of his head.

"No baby, there's nothing you can do."

"Are you scared mommy? I cry when I get scared."

The truth is that I'm not scared. I'm fucking terrified. I was terrified of loving someone and giving myself to someone fully. Patrick ruined me and I made myself believe that nobody would want me because I was tarnished and broken.

Nobody could possibly want a girl like me.

I needed to get myself together. I had no reason to be crying. There isn't going to be a future with Nick. There can't be.

I would ruin him. And I just know deep down that he will hurt me. Guys like Nick don't just hurt you, they break you. They make you feel like you're the only girl in the world before they just leave you and break your heart.

I'm not strong enough to recover from that.

I need to let go.

I need to let him go.

"Mommy"

"Yes honey?"

Ollie points behind me. I turn around and Nick is standing in the entrance  to the stables. He was breathing heavy and his face was flushed.

"What happened to you?" I ask him with a raised eyebrow.

He breaths out a breath of relief before running a hand through his already disheveled hair.

"Jordyn told me you were leaving"

"Yeah, I think it's time for Ollie and I to go home."

"Why?"

I can hear the desperation in his voice. I could hear the hurt. It made my heart ache.

"It's been a long day. We're both tired and I need to start looking for a new job tomorrow."

Nick's emerald eyes stare into my soul.

"I need to talk to you" he says suddenly.

"Okay, I have a few minutes"

"You wanna go for a ride?" He asks motioning to Delilah.

"I've never ridden before."

"It's easy. Ollie and you can take Del and I'll take my sisters"

"Wait she's your horse?"

Nick looks at me with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes." He replies.

"Is that a problem?" He adds on.

"No I just, didn't picture you as the riding type. Or the type to own a horse in general."

"Yeah well there's a lot you don't know about me Hazel." He says with a playful grin on his face.

I can't help the smile that spreads across my face. This man standing before me was so different. I could tell he really was trying to change. He was so sweet, and generous, and kindhearted now.

A completely new Nick Evan Knight.

And I felt myself being pulled toward him like a magnet.

A very powerful magnet.

I knew the attraction between Nick and I was strong. But it wasn't enough for me. I always closed myself off and I always lost out. The least I could do is try it, I owed it to myself after years of always putting me on the back burner. Maybe just once it can be  time for me to be in the front lines.

Maybe just once I could give in. 

Maybe just once I can get what I want.

Maybe just once I won't be afraid.

Maybe just once I can have my happy ending.

"So Hazel. What about that ride?" Nick asks with a devilish gleam in his eyes.

I took a second to look at him. I hadn't realized he had moved closer to me. And even though he had a glint of trouble in his eyes, I could still see the pain and the hurt try so hard to break through.

He was silently begging me. Pleading with me to let him in.

And I was so close to giving in.

When I felt his fingers wrap around my wrist and his thumb lightly brush over my pulse point, I couldn't take it. My body reacted to him before my brain could even process what was going on.

My heart was beating out of my chest, my palms were getting sweaty and I swore I was going to pass out.

I didn't like that he had this effect on me already, but I loved it equally.

"Hazel?" He says my name in a silent, desperate plea.

I look down to Ollie, and then back to Nick before finally giving him an answer.

"We'd love a ride"

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