61. Starting Over

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Bailey's POV:

"Are we going to school today?" Carmen gets off her phone after I turn around in my bed to face her. "I don't know." I pull the covers over my face, "We can't avoid school forever Bails, we need to graduate. I can't stay in high school forever, come on. She might not even be here today." She tries to push me off my bed but I don't budge.

She's stayed with me for the past few days after I told her everything that happened and she's been understanding, I guess this is the one thing I can do for her. I slowly fall off my bed landing with a soft thud. "We're gonna go." I mumble into the carpet and I hear a relieved sigh.

"That's amazing to hear, so let's get ready." What's worse about all of this is that she wasn't mad. LIKE SHE WASN'T MAD ALL THIS TIME, IN THE BEGINNING, JUDGING SKYLAR TO THE MOON AND BACK WAS ALL NOTHING. She said there was probably a good reason why Skylar got into trouble with that man and I still don't know if he's dead or alive. I don't know if I want to know if he's still roaming the earth or not.

"Hey Bailey, I don't know if you know this but in order for us to go to school you need to get up." She rolls me over to my side and I groan seeing her tower over me. "But what if I see her?" I turn onto my side and I curl into a ball. All I've done is think about her and she's called, multiple times she's filled my voicemail box. I didn't know there was a limit.

She texted a lot for two days but those slowly stopped. But it didn't help that I started to overthink about if she's moved on already, that she found someone new to sit behind her on her bike. The thoughts of another girl with her ate me up but I couldn't bring myself to contact her back. I'd look at her contact appear and the only thing I saw was her throwing punches so hard you hear the man's cheekbones cave in.

"You know the only way you'll be able to stop those running thoughts in your head is to actually see if it's happening." I feel a poke on my temple and I swat her hand away. "I don't think I can do that. I'm just going to die here." I mumble.

"No the fuck you are not, what the fuck am I going to tell Skylar? 'Oh hey by the way Bailey died in her room.' Hell no, she might burn the world down." I watch her go through my closet, "Yeah and you can say it was her fault." I huff. "That did not just come out of your mouth." She snaps and I sit up.

"I can't think of anything else Carmen, that night keeps replaying in my head and I can't let it go." I pull my knees to my chest then I get hit by my own shirt. "I'm sorry where the fuck did the Bailey that was in love go, or the Bailey that was finally taking risks go?" I pull the shirt from my face and Carmen stood there with her hands on her hips.

"That Bailey, died that night." I force myself to stand and I start getting dressed for school. "Bails, I know you miss her. Don't you still love her?" She asks me and I peak at her reflection through my mirror but I didn't answer.

I don't know what I feel for Skylar anymore. I knew she got into trouble, I knew she has secrets and things that her family doesn't like talking about. And now I don't even know if what Sage said to me the night I made dinner for them was true. "I'm mad at her, I don't even know if I'm actually mad. I don't know anymore I saw her beat someone so badly they stopped moving Carmen. That wasn't fun to watch." I sink further into the floor.

"You know people get each other's throats for a reason and I'm sure Skylar had a reason in doing so." She sighs, "You sound like you've beaten someone to a near-death before." I glance at her but she doesn't say anything. "Look, you told me that she only started to hit him when he said and I quote from you 'pretty little thing' and you also included that it was creepy." She reminds me of the man's strained voice.

"Yeah and?" I say looking at her and she looks like she wants to smack me. "I understand why you're avoiding her and not wanting to speak to her I get it, what you saw was terrifying but imagine if she just him carrying on speaking about you like that. He could've said a lot worse than what he did."

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Skylar's POV:

"What the fuck are you doing? Are you sick?" I look up from my book seeing Dean walk up to me and he places the back of his hand against my forehead. "Hmmm you're not warm but seriously you're looking at a dead tree with tattoos." He chuckles and I look down. "I'm reading a book, Dean." I tell him continuing from where I left off.

"Yeah, but why? Shouldn't you be getting ready for school?" He gives me his bowl of cereal and I take a bite. "There's no point in me going to school." I give the bowl back, "Don't you want to graduate?" He asks and I nod, "Yeah I already have the credits I need." I close the book tossing it beside me.

Why is 1800s literature so hard to get through? She made it so easy and I'm struggling. "I see. Well, good luck I have some work to do." He pats my head but I grab his wrist before he leaves. "Where's Sage?" I ask him and he shrugs his shoulders. Sage has been gone for two days.

It wasn't the first time he left me alone but this time all he left me with is that he was going to find the guy and he was determined to set things right but I don't know how he was going to do that. "Look why don't you go to school, I know Sage will be expecting you to be there and you might get a chance to talk to Bailey." He says her name and I look down at my phone that's empty.

"She hasn't been at school." I lean against my headboard and he tilts his head. "How do you know that?" He asks, "The twins." I answer. "Gotcha." I nod leaving my room but then he slowly wanders back inside this time sitting on the edge of my bed.

"I have two questions for you." He tells me and I sit up straight, "What's the real reason that you're reading? You had no interest in anything like books even when you were younger and now you're nose deep in a book by a dead author. It's like I'm seeing a new version of you, one that's trying. So why Skylar?" He looks over his shoulder and I start moving my leg back and forth.

"If I told you, would you believe me?" I ask him and he scoffs, "When have I not believed you? Both Sage and I will always take you seriously." He looks down at his bowl and I sigh. "She hasn't any of my texts, her window is locked, and I don't think she's opened any of the voicemails." I'm feeling nervous talking about her again.

"I'm reading because it's the closest I can get to her. Aside from memories and the things in my phone, reading is the only way I can get close to her the way that I was able to when we were on speaking terms and now I know why she reads so much." I look at the beat-up copy of Jane Austen.

"I think it's time that you went to go see her again or something because I don't like see you upset maybe it's time to explain to her, also my second question, when you're done with the book can I read it?" She turns around and I chuckle, "Yeah you can read it."


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