8.Joni's boyfriend?

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The whole Sunday, Joni was mostly hiding in his room, trying to deal with his conflicting emotions. It seemed that he couldn't get a hold of himself, he was fighting back tears, it seemed hard to breathe, and... he hated feeling so weak. He would not allow himself to cry. He wasn't allowing that weakness or what he considered as such.

Why should he even cry? For Misha? - No, he was not worth it.

In his mind, he constantly went through every bit of what he could remember from the night before, how it had felt, and... It had felt good in the end, but it had hurt at first and even now he still felt slight discomfort down there... Most of all what bothered him was how Misha behaved that morning.

Monday didn't find Joni in any better mood. The stupid love bites of course were still so very visible on his neck and though he wasn't in pain anymore, his body still felt exactly what had happened.

The breakfast was an awkward affair that morning. His father was tense, glaring at the marks on his neck that Joni had no idea how to hide, he had tried some toothpaste before going to bed, being advised to do so by one of his friends, and well... it hadn't helped a shit. It had been silly to even try, but  he had been desperate.

And his little brothers... they were snickering... whispering... obviously, it was about the said marks that threatened Joni's peace of mind.

"I want you to come home straight after school, Joni." His father finally spoke. Joni took a deep breath.

"Why?" He asked, not that he had had any plans to go anywhere anyway, but...He didn't like to be told either.

"Considering what you did this weekend, you will not go out unless it's school, or gym, or some other healthy activity for this whole week." This made Joni growl in annoyance.

"You can't do that!" He protested. "I'm-"

"Yes, I know, you're seventeen and I can because I am your father."

"What did Joni do? Daddy?" One of his brothers wanted to know.

"He did something he shouldn't have. Something bad for him," Asko explained calmly.

"Oh come on! Dad! Uuuh, you're so fucking annoying!"

"Watch your language," he was simply warned.

Joni stared down at his juice, trying to calm down, the yelling and bitching didn't work, ok, he had seen this... then... what would?

"But-" He started.

"Not another word," his father said sternly and Joni didn't remember the last time that he had been as tense as he was now. He saw it best to stay quiet, he would think of something later, something to change his mind with.

He was cursing silently as he was getting ready for school. He wanted to turn eighteen and fast because being seventeen sucked.

He stood in front of the mirror fixing his hair, groaning when looking at the marks. He wanted them gone! They were...ugly... and... reminded him of... Misha... And then Dima would be sure to ask questions that he wouldn't know how to answer and...

There was a soft knock on the door before it opened, it was Katja. Joni glared at her in the mirror.

"I thought you might like some help," she said, stepping further in. "...with those bruises, I mean," she continued before he could say anything and that's when he saw the makeup bag in her hands.

"Just a little foundation, cover-up, won't hurt you," she explained.

It wasn't as if Joni had never had any makeup on his skin, but it was only when doing work as a model. He looked at his stepmother and nodded. She smiled gently at him.

"Please, sit down." Silently Joni did and allowed her to start working.

"Makeup can do wonders at times," Katja grinned at him. "I learned it well at your age," she continued when patting his skin with the foundation.

Joni looked at her, she confused him. He wasn't sure why she was so nice to him now. He hadn't always been so nice to her after all...

Their relationship had been tense from early on, in some ways perhaps he had seen her as a threat. He had been only five when his mother had died and it had all happened so fast. He still remembered the horrible uncertainly, being told she was sick and how it made no sense. He had been sent to his grandparents and then after weeks with them, his father had finally arrived, alone. 

Joni remembered his father's puffy, red eyes. He remember the look on his face, the way his voice had broken... And it had made no sense. He had kept expecting his mother to come back, but she never did. Sun had shone that day when they laid the coffin into the ground. His grandmother had said something about angels taking her home. It had felt unfair that the angels took her, Joni would have needed her more.

For a long time, it had been just him and his father. He had dated some, but nothing serious. Katja was the first he introduced properly... and quite stubbornly she had stayed. It hadn't taken long till she had become pregnant with his brothers and she and his father had married. Everything had changed once more.

 Silently Joni observed her while she worked with the foundation on his neck. Maybe she wasn't that bad, even though she wasn't his mother.

"All right, take a look," Katja finally said and smiled at him. Joni walked in front of the mirror, surprised when he didn't see the marks anymore.

"Wow, you're good!"

"Thank you," Katja smiled more brightly, probably surprised to get such a compliment from him.

Joni turned around.

"Thank you, Katja," he told her and reached for his school bag. "I must be off, bye!"

**********

At school Joni was still bothered by what his father had told him, he didn't want to be grounded for a whole week, it would be... boring.

In math class, he found it hard to concentrate. The classroom was silent, everyone working quietly, and he just held his pen over his notebook, once again thinking about Saturday night.

"The teacher is looking at you," someone whispered and woke him from his thoughts. Joni glanced at his side and found himself looking at Kasper's smiling face. "Do you need help?" the boy asked, leaning closer and looking at what he had so far. "Ah yes, there's your problem..." Kasper tapped his pen on the numbers.

Joni merely blinked, Kasper looked at him and smiled.

"It's all right, everyone could have made the same mistake, let me explain how this goes..." and then the boy started to blabber on about the numbers, x, and y, and whatnot... Joni took a closer look at the other boy, he had soft brown hair, hazel eyes that had some dark eyeliner, a piercing on his eyebrow, and a tattoo on his wrist. He wore a black band T-shirt and... He wasn't bad looking, not at all, just... Joni didn't quite get him, he wasn't sure what to make of him if he was a bird or a fish sort of speak.

Kasper seemed to be a bright student, and the first that Joni had noticed in him was the eyeliner and... that perhaps had been one thing to turn him off and now he realized that he had never really looked at him closely, he wasn't that skinny and pale, in fact... maybe it was his clothes? Joni glanced down; at black jeans, with some metal chains on them, and then again, his face was so soft looking and... Joni looked at the boy's somehow delicate hands...

"So, do you see now?" Kasper looked at him again, there was a hint of green in his eyes, and he was grinning.

"Huh?" Joni hadn't been paying attention to what he had said.

"Are you in a band or something?" Joni asked instead.

"Yeah, I'm in a band...or something," Kasper smirked, "I play the guitar."

"And let me guess, Ville Valo is your idol?" Joni asked cocking his eyebrow.

"HIM is one of my favorite bands, but not the best that there is," Kasper answered calmly, looking at him with curiosity. Truth be told, he was kind of surprised that Joni was talking to him.

"And what is the best?"

"Hm... I don't know if I can name one band above the other because I have many that I love to listen to. There are many great bands from Germany, I like metal, dark and... well, harsh music, I guess you could say." 

Joni nodded, "what are you doing after school?"

"Me?"Kasper asked surprised.

"Yeah."

"Well... I don't have plans..." he answered hesitantly.

"Would you like to come over to our house then?" 

"S-sure, yeah" Kasper nodded his head.

"Good, meet you at four then, by the front entrance." Joni smiled and concentrated back on his schoolwork. If his dad would believe that Kasper was his boyfriend, thus the guy he had been with on Saturday, then maybe the so-called 'house arrest' would be canceled. He smiled at his perfect plan, paying no attention to the dreamy looks that Kasper gave in his direction.


"My family most likely thinks that you're my boyfriend, but you don't mind, right?" Joni asked before opening the front door to his house.

"Um, no, I don't mind," Kasper smiled, a bit too excitedly perhaps.

Joni could see his father's surprise when he walked into the hall to find him there with Kasper.

"You didn't say that I couldn't bring anyone home with me," Joni smiled innocently while taking off his jacket. Asko drifted his gaze to Joni's friend.

"Hi, Mr. Lehto, I'm Kasper, nice to meet you," the boy offered his hand to him, and with surprise he took it.

"Hello, nice to meet you too?" He didn't sound so sure, he looked at the boy's face and then his clothing. "You're... Joni's boyfriend?" He asked hesitantly.

"Yes, he is. Now we're going to my room to do our homework." Joni smiled, taking Kasper's hand and leading him upstairs.

"Supper's ready in half an hour!" Asko shouted after them, not quite sure if he liked this turn of events or not, on the other hand, he should be pleased that Joni had a boyfriend and not... But the boy... he somehow didn't strike him as someone that his son would date and... hadn't Joni been quite upset just yesterday? "And leave the door open!" He added, already sure that he would be ignored.

Joni closed the door after they were in, left his school bag on the floor, and threw himself on his bed, he yawned.

"Gods I'm so tired..."

Kasper, who still stood near the door, looked at him from across the room. Joni had closed his eyes and his hand rested on his forehead, while the other lay against his stomach. He could hear Kasper approaching the bed slowly.

"Um, I got the feeling that your dad didn't like me much..." He started, Joni cracked his eyes open and grinned at him. He moved his legs to give Kasper some room to sit down.

"That's because he thinks that you fucked me on Saturday," he explained, smirking still, looking closely to see Kasper's reaction.

"O-oh?" Kasper sat down, his expression revealing his surprise. "W-why?"

"Because... I was... by someone," Kasper tilted his head, looking at him closely.

"By whom?" he asked then with curiosity in his tone.

"It's not important," Joni replied, looking him in the eyes in a playful way.

"Is he not?" Kasper asked and slowly brought his hand to Joni's thigh. "Did you know him from before?" he asked.

"Maybe... but... I don't care to know him in the future," Joni took Kasper's hand that was resting on his thigh and pulled him closer, to lie on top of him. "Why do you use liner in your eyes?" 

"Do you not like me wearing it?" Kasper asked, raising his eyebrow. Joni rolled them over so that he was on top, then he looked at the others' faces.

"No," he told him honestly, "I don't like it when guys use makeup."

"But... don't you use it too, you're a model right?" Kasper grinned under him.

"Yes, but it's work and it's different, I wouldn't use it in everyday life. Besides," Joni smiled, "you have pretty eyes, and I think they'd be prettier without it."

"You think so?"

"Yes... definitely." Joni nodded, looking at Kasper's lips, Misha's lips were fuller, more kissable, and... NO! He was not thinking of Misha! Joni closed the distance and kissed the boy beneath him. He closed his eyes, felt him responding, and felt Kasper's hands roaming all over his body. He made odd kissing sounds, the kiss was wet, oddly wet and his tongue... it felt sloppy and somehow cold, and he tasted like mints... Joni had to stop, yet he forced himself to smile. He wanted to say that he tasted sweet, or that the kiss made him hot, but... it was just too much for him to lie.

Kasper brought his hand in his hair, smiling dreamily. Making Joni aware that the dissatisfaction might have been quite one-sided, and it was somewhat of an awkward feeling.

"You taste good," Kasper whispered, confirming his earlier thought. He wanted to feel something for Kasper, anything, even lust! But he didn't, the kiss simply left him cold... He didn't understand it; there he was, laying on top of a cute enough guy who obviously wanted him and he should feel even the least bit of excitement, but he didn't, and it bothered him.

"Is this your natural hair color?" Kasper continued, still playing with his hair.

"Yes," Joni smiled and kissed Kasper's lips but briefly.

"Are you... completely Finnish or...?" Joni raised his eyebrow. "I just thought, your hair is so beautiful dark brown, I haven't seen such a beautiful natural color before, and your eyes- gorgeous golden-brown... One could get lost in them..."

Joni smiled a little awkwardly, he had heard such compliments often before, but now they just... This situation...Their feelings for each other were so different. But Kasper's words and affection nourished the part of him Misha had wounded, and he wanted to believe his feelings for Kasper could shift. Perhaps he needed just more time?

"Well, I'll tell you a secret," Joni finally smiled, "my grandad was a gypsy, his family came originally from Hungary, or who knows where before that... Anyway, who is completely something?"

Kasper reached out to kiss him again, more hungrily this time.

"Mmmm....this just makes you sexier," he murmured somewhere between the wet and sloppy kisses, that Joni still tried his best to enjoy.

Then there was a knock on the door. Joni almost jumped off Kasper. The door opened and his father peaked in, clearing his throat when seeing the other boy on the bed and his son standing next to it.

"Yes, Dad?"

"Supper's ready..."

***

"So, Kasper? You're the same age as Joni?" His dad questioned when the whole family was seated down.

"Well, actually I'm already eighteen and turning nineteen in January. I spent my first year in Miami, as an exchange student, so that's why I'm still in my second year." Joni looked at Kasper with surprise, why didn't he know this? Kasper was older than him? - That was just unfair.

"And what do your parents do for a living?"

"My mother is a doctor, and my father is a lawyer." This also came as a surprise to Joni, he really didn't know anything about him.

"A doctor and a lawyer, I see." Joni gave an amused look to his father who seemed impressed, he was smiling now. "And have you already decided what you want to do with your life?"

"Well, probably, as soon as I get over the fact that most critics think that the band, I'm in and the music that we play, is crap," Kasper chuckled, "I go to law school, to become a lawyer like my father."

"Maybe you can help my son with deciding what he wants, this modeling isn't by any means a long-term career." Asko gave him a look and Joni glared at him in return, putting his fork down. Great, now his father was like Kasper's new best friend.

"I'm only seventeen, and I don't see what's so bad in modeling," he groaned, "I don't have to know yet what I want to be."

"I think Joni has a great chance to succeed," Kasper spoke out, smiling at him, "if he so wants, but for great success, sadly, I think he'd have to go to some bigger country and city and... I for one would be sad to see him go."

Joni felt a bit uncomfortable, here he was having dinner with his family and a boy who was pretending to be his boyfriend, a boy whom he didn't even know, but who seemed to... have some feelings for him already and... He slowly continued to eat.

"Leaving is not an option," his father nodded and then looked at him. "In the long term, it wouldn't make you happy, Joni, so you should think of something more suitable, more sensible. Posing in front of the camera isn't what I call sensible. I know you have the brains for more than that if only you would concentrate more on your studies."

"Thank you, father," Joni replied, a bit tightly. "I rather not discuss this now." Under the table, Kasper's hand found its way to rest on his thigh and all that it did was make him feel even edgier.

Perhaps this hadn't been such a great idea as he had at first thought.


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