Joni parked his car in front of his parent's house and for a while he just sat there, feeling reluctant to get out. It was as if his body weighed a ton, requiring a huge boost of energy even for such simple movements as getting onto his feet, taking his bag, and walking inside. He didn't feel like he had the energy or the tools to acquire it. Yet he couldn't stay seated in his car forever either now, could he?

There would be questions, they would want to know what had happened and Joni didn't feel like telling them. He felt like a failure in so many ways. Misha who had promised to care for him, more than just as a friend, now wanted to go back to being just that. Could he really blame the man for it? Still, it would have been easier if such an agreement had never been made in the first place. It would have been easier if... Joni sighed, what was easy in this situation anyway? – Nothing.

Finally, he mustered the necessary energy to step out, and just as he did so, the front door opened and his father stepped onto the porch visibly surprised to see him.

"We weren't expecting you, has something happened?" Asko asked with concern as he walked down the few steps. Joni's expression spoke of misery, his eyes looked a little bit red and...

"I don't want to talk about it," Joni said and took his bag from the trunk avoiding his father's eyes.

"Joni?"

"What?" Joni snapped, overwhelmed by his emotions. "Am I not allowed to come back home?"

"Of course you are," Asko hurried to assure. "You're always welcome; come, let me take your bag," he added and reached to take his son's carryings.

"Thank you, Dad," Joni muttered, feeling somewhat ashamed of his outburst. He walked with his father towards the house with somewhat slow and awkward steps.

Asko felt uneasy for not knowing what exactly had happened, but knowing enough that whatever it was he didn't like it and his first instinct was to blame the blond man for doing something to Joni. "Are you hungry? Would you like me to fix you something?"

"No, I just want to sleep," Joni answered exhaustively as they stepped inside. It was only a quarter to nine in the morning and the children and Katja were still sleeping. His father had always been an early bird and probably had had his morning jog by now.

"Did the man do something to you?" his father asked a bit tightly, concerned like he often was.

Joni swallowed. "He didn't hurt me," he assured, not the way his dad worried anyway. "But I don't want to talk about it now. I'm just really tired and would like to sleep," he said and headed upstairs.

"We haven't made your bed ready yet, wait and I'll-"

"It's alright, I'll do it myself," Joni sighed and climbed the stairs without a second look behind.

The room was different; his father had done the changes that he had talked about earlier. The walls had been repainted, the curtains changed, and the bed was new and situated on the opposite side from where it had been before.

Joni locked the door and smiled without joy. He was thankful for the changes, thankful for not having to sleep in the same bed that Chris had. But these changes didn't wipe his memory in that room away either, it was never that simple.

Sighing, Joni sat down on the edge of the bed, looking around still feeling exhausted, most of all it was mental exhaustion.

Time was indeed a curious thing. It was less than two months since Chris had been there with him and now it felt peculiar in some way that Chris would never again step inside this room. Chris would never call him to ask where he was or demand he'd come home... But on second thought, perhaps he should never say never in this case. Chris wasn't dead and prison wouldn't hold him forever, so the possibility of at least a phone call was pretty high.

Joni's head started to ache. He was back where he had started, back at square one. Everything had to be rebuilt, a new start, - where to begin? His cell phone started to ring in his pocket and lazily he took it out. For a moment he stared numbly at Misha's name on the screen. He didn't think that the man could have anything new to say; perhaps he just wanted to make more excuses for his behavior, justify his decision to break up with him.

Joni swallowed, tears welled up in his eyes and he simply couldn't bring himself to answer. Instead he rejected the call and quickly typed a text message to send to Misha; "I don't want to talk now. I'm home."

After the message was sent he turned his cell off. He didn't want to talk to anyone.

He just wanted to sleep and just... sleep and wake up and find that some miracle had made everything alright again. In the end, he didn't even have the energy to change the sheets. After drawing the curtains down Joni took a blanket and a pillow and curled onto the bed. If possible he wanted to sleep for a whole month without interruptions and nightmares.

**^^**^^**^^**

Asko poured himself a cup of coffee glancing upstairs and trying to resist the urge to go and ask Joni to tell him what was wrong. He knew his son well enough by now and knew that when he was like this it was better to leave him alone until he was ready to talk. Still, it wasn't easy to fight the parent's first instinct to solve and correct what was wrong so in the end he just felt uneasy and restless.

Twenty minutes later Katja walked downstairs and the house filled with laughter and running of the other three children as they hurried downstairs to watch cartoons.

"Good morning love," Katja smiled as she entered the kitchen.

"Joni came home," Asko told her and she could see how restless he was. Katja reached to take her coffee mug from the cabinet and filled it with the hot, dark liquid.

"When?" She asked.

"Half an hour ago," Asko answered. "Something is wrong, I- He just went to his room to sleep, he said."

Katja sipped from her mug and glanced upstairs. "That's strange..." She agreed. "Did he mention anything about Misha?"

Asko shook his head. "He assured me that he hasn't hurt him, but what else could possibly be wrong for him to come home this early on a Sunday morning? Lord help him if that man has done something to Joni, I warned him!" His voice took an edgy tone as his mind went through every possible scenario of what might have happened.

"Asko, calm down, I can't imagine that Misha would do anything to harm Joni, not after everything. It's obvious how he cares for Joni."

For a moment Asko was quiet. "Like we couldn't imagine that Chris would..." He finally voiced his thoughts out loud and Katja gave him a sad look.

"I-" Katja started but wasn't sure how to argue with that. As much as she would have liked to say that she always knew Chris had been bad news, she couldn't, as much as she hated the fact now, she had actually liked the man before knowing the secrets of the relationship. Chris had played the role of a caring and concerned boyfriend well; it was frightening how well he had played it. "Perhaps just an ordinary lovers' quarrel, Joni's in a very fragile state of mind, after all, it can be something quite minor that has upset him."

And just then Katja's cell phone began to ring. "Speaking of the devil..." The woman joked and smiled as she saw who was calling.

"Give me that!" Asko demanded and tried to snatch the cell from her hands. Katja sighed smiling and gently pushed her husband back.

'Be nice' she mouthed silently before answering Misha's call.

**^^**^^**^^**

Misha moved around restlessly in the house, Joni had rejected his call and sent a message that he didn't want to talk. But it was important that they would! How else could he correct the mistake he had made?

Misha had tried to wait, tried to give the brat a few moments to cool down, but when two hours later he tried calling again he only came aware that Joni had turned his cell off. Such a frustrating brat he was!

Finally, Misha decided to call Joni's stepmother. He needed to talk to Joni in any way he could.

"Hello," the woman answered with a curious tone.

"Yes, hi, this is Misha... " He started, clearing his throat as he paced back and forth in the living room.

"Yes, I saw it was you..." Katja answered with a gentle voice.

"Ah, yes of course... Could I talk to Joni? His cell phone is turned off."

"Hm... I think he's still sleeping. Asko told me he was pretty upset when he got here. Care to tell me what happened?"

"Well... a little misunderstanding ... Could you tell him I called when he wakes up?Ask if he could call me back, it's important."

"Alright, I will let him know that you called," Katja answered, knowing that this was probably the most that she could get out of Misha right now. She could only hope that Joni would explain everything once he would wake up.

"Thanks, bye then."

"Bye," Katja ended the call and lowered her phone to the kitchen counter.

"Well, what did he say?" Asko asked impatiently.

"Said that there was some misunderstanding between them. I guess we just have to wait till Joni tells us."

"He better not have laid his finger on my son to harm him in any way," Asko responded tightly.

"Darling, calm down, I'm sure it's nothing bad," Katja tried to reassure him. Asko nodded, still feeling restless. After everything, he didn't know if he could ever trust anyone that any of his children would decide to date.

**^^**^^**

It had been a long time since Ivo had felt such happiness as he did that day. He sang cheerfully while driving back home, his lips still tingling pleasantly after the kisses he had received that morning and just before leaving the apartment. He probably would have stayed longer if Jami's mother hadn't decided to call saying she'd visit.

Ivo felt giddy like a schoolboy, he felt so wonderfully ridiculous with warm thoughts and a heart filled with hope. He was completely smitten with his hairdresser. Jami was cute, funny, gentle, made an excellent omelet and he was just so adorable and sexy at the same time. Ivo hoped with all his heart that this relationship would work. Even just having left, he already wished he could return, he couldn't wait to see the other again and drown him with more kisses.

Ivo didn't notice the fact that Joni's car was missing on the driveway, too busy thinking of his newfound happiness to pay attention to details. He sang quietly to himself when entering the hall and kicking his shoes off. "I'm home!" He announced and headed towards the kitchen where he found Misha organizing the kitchen cabinets. "Hi," Ivo said when his brother didn't seem to notice his arrival.

Misha glanced at him briefly and nodded, annoyed at seeing Ivo look so happy and cheerful, it only seemed to lower his mood further. "How was the date?" He decided to ask regardless, not really wanting Ivo to start with questions of his own.

"It was wonderful, he is wonderful... amazing." The older brother sighed and Misha rolled his eyes.

"Where is Joni?" Ivo then asked the question that Misha had dreaded. He continued to arrange the glasses mostly just wanting to keep himself busy instead of waiting by the phone like some sad idiot.

"He went home," Misha answered as calmly as he could manage, trying to make it sound like it was a totally normal thing for Joni to do.

"Home?" Ivo wondered. "When will he be back then?" At this, Misha shrugged.

"I don't think he will come back." Ivo stared at his little brother trying to understand what was going on, what had happened. Misha was cleaning so it meant that he was either nervous or upset.

"What did you do?" Ivo finally asked.

"Who says I did anything?" Misha got defensive. "Is it my fault that he likes to misunderstand everything I say or do?" Ivo frowned at his brother's attitude.

"Misha, what the hell happened here?!" Ivo's good mood seemed to vanish just like that. "What did you do?" He couldn't think of any other reason for Joni's sudden leaving than Misha having said something wrong to him in his usual pig headed manner. Misha refused to answer at first; he gritted his teeth and looked like a little kid who had just been caught doing something wrong.

Misha had never felt so ashamed before and it irritated him. He didn't like to admit how wrong he had been, but this time he knew that he had been with how he had handled things. "We slept together..." He finally whispered not looking at Ivo, who of course would let him hear just how big of an asshole he had been.

Ivo was surprised to hear that Misha still couldn't even look at him. "Misha... " He started, honestly not sure how to respond to that. "Why?" It sounded such a silly thing to ask out loud, but still, it was the only thing he could ask. Misha wasn't the type to take advantage, he wouldn't hurt Joni or pressure him and now Ivo felt confused about how this could have happened so soon.

"I didn't force him if that's what you are thinking!" Misha snapped out of anger and frustration. "It just happened, we drank, and he... He acted so... He acted like he wanted it... " Misha felt another stab of guilt thinking about the previous night. "Fuck! I know I did wrong! I am not making excuses, I just... I didn't mean for this to happen! And I told him we should just be friends so that it won't happen again and he just... He didn't hear me out, he refused to talk and he just left, you know how annoying he can be! How utterly frustrating and foolish and... I didn't mean for this to happen!"

Ivo felt his head starting to ache, he shook his head, walked over to the kitchen table, and sat down. How could his brother be this stupid? "Misha..." He started. "Let me get this right... You slept with Joni and then you told him you only wanted to be his friend?"

Misha glanced at him, his lips tightened looking guilty as hell and he didn't respond. All that gave Ivo the answer. "You idiot!" Ivo groaned. "Can you honestly blame him for leaving after that? Sleeping with him may have been foolish, but saying you only want to be his friend after is fucking idiotic!"

"Well... I... it..." Misha stammered, it was quite rare to get him speechless. "I just... He's not ready and... I ... I don't want to pressure him! It was too soon!"

"Yes, I think it was," Ivo responded exhaustively and got up. "But gods! Why do you have to be such a bullheaded moron?" He waved his hand in the air in frustration. "Breaking up with him after what you two did? For God's sake Misha, take some responsibility for your actions! You better fix it, can't you understand how that boy cares for you!! Talk to him for God's sake, say that you're sorry, and let it be up to him what he wants to do."

"I don't need you to tell me what to do Ivo, I know I did wrong on my own and I know what I need to do, so shut up..." Misha groaned, not liking to be yelled at, by Ivo of all people! "I'm going to my room..." He grumbled after that and headed out of the kitchen towards the stairs. Ivo sighed.

"You can't blame Joni for running off when right now you are doing the same thing!" Ivo called after his brother who however didn't respond and instead, there was only a loud bang when he slammed his door shut upstairs. "Now who's the brat?" Ivo grumbled to himself looking around in the kitchen before deciding to prepare himself some coffee and perhaps... Perhaps he would call Jami, just to hear the voice that he knew would calm his nerves instantly.

**^^**^^**

The bed looked so lonely and sad right then when just a few hours ago he had lain there next to Joni. Misha sat down in front of his desk and ran his fingers through his hair, he couldn't escape his thoughts, couldn't escape the memories of Joni, almost able to smell his lingering scent. Such a lovely scent it was... He got up, approached the bed, and sat down, his fingers reaching out to touch the pillow that Joni had used. 'You are such a sad creature, Misha' he thought to himself, smiling almost bitterly.

He glanced towards the nightstand remembering the day in the past when Joni had found his dildo and how it had both annoyed and embarrassed him. The winter night they had slept together for the first time, how adorable and sexy Joni had looked beneath him...

Joni had been fifteen when Misha had first met him. He had gone to the same junior high school as Dima but was in a different grade, apparently, their gym classes had been the same though and that's how they had met. Dima didn't invite home just anyone and later it had puzzled Misha endlessly how his kid brother could be friends with such an airhead, such a vain and annoying brat.

If Misha was honest with himself, seeing Joni for the very first time had indeed brought dirty thoughts to his mind already, which had felt improper to have of a fifteen-year-old. And if he really started digging further into his mind, he had seen that the best cure to kill any impure thoughts was to simply hate the kid and everything he said or did. He hadn't wanted to give Joni any chance to be anything other than annoying, stuck up, and vain all the while dismissing the thought that something had to be good about him since Dima, his level-headed and endlessly kind brother thought so highly of Joni.

Joni was still a brat, that hadn't changed but Misha honestly wouldn't have wanted him any other way and now he had also seen the other side, the gentle and vulnerable side that probably had always been there. Joni was everything he wanted; the need to protect him was strong, stronger than with anyone else. Perhaps it was because Joni seemed to possess the amazing talent to get into trouble so easily, acting so... carelessly. Yet, what had happened with Joni's ex was solely the other man's fault; nothing Joni had or hadn't done could give an excuse for such a crime against him.

Misha knew he had to correct the situation somehow, but how could he do it if Joni wouldn't even talk to him?

**^^**^^**

It was noon and Joni still hadn't come out of his room, Asko's worry grew, he had already been knocking on his son's door a few times asking if he'd like to come downstairs to eat. Joni didn't open the door, just answered with a fatigued voice that he didn't need anything. But eating was important, Katja agreed with him and even she began to worry when it was already two in the afternoon. Trying to solve the situation they both in the end came to the same conclusion, if Joni didn't open the door for them, perhaps he would do so for his little sister. And so half past two pm, the little girl was sent upstairs with a box of cookies as an emergency solution.

Joni hadn't really moved from his bed, he hadn't really slept either, just laid there feeling completely out of energy. He sighed heavily when there was yet another knock on his door and just before he was about to give the same reply as the times before, "Not hungry", he heard: "Joni, I've got cookies!" The enthusiastic voice of his little sister made him smile, just a little. It was not because of the cookies, no, Joni couldn't have cared less about any food at the moment, but simply because he realized how much he had missed that cute voice.

He couldn't leave his sister disappointed, standing behind his door, so he made the effort to get up and open the door for her. Sini smiled brightly up at him, throwing her small arms around his waist to hug him tightly. "I missed you!" She announced and Joni smiled gently brushing her soft, long hair.

"I missed you too."

"Can we watch Nemo?" She asked and showed him the DVD and the box of cookies in her hands. Joni chuckled.

"Haven't you seen it hundreds of times already?"

"Yes, it is my favorite,"