"Dad still thinks I was with Ivo back then," Joni whispered. It was almost midnight, and the sky outside was dark because of the thunderstorm that had sneaked up upon them. Misha had spent most of his day with Joni, who now seemed to have difficulties falling asleep. Misha had lit a few candles and a lamp that worked with batteries. He noticed how Joni trembled slightly every time the sky lit up and heavy thunder followed.

"He does?" Misha asked, watching him and smiling slightly. "Perhaps he should learn the truth? You know, to clear Ivo's name and all, unless..."

"Unless what?" Joni asked and was startled when the room was lit momentarily by the bright light from outside.

"Does it scare you? The storm?" Misha asked instead.

"No, don't be ridiculous."

There was another loud, heavy rumble that seemed to shake the roof. Misha had to admit that he didn't remember hearing such a heavy thunderstorm before. Misha glanced outside and then at Joni; his eyes were closed, and his hand squeezed the cover in his fist.

"Ah, perhaps I'm being a little ridiculous then, you know because I'm a little scared."

Joni opened his eyes, the one he could open completely and the swollen one, which only opened halfway.

"I didn't know it was possible for you to get scared," Joni wanted to grin, but it came out weak.

Misha shrugged, and brought his hand upon his chin, two fingers covering his lips in an attempt to cover a small grin.

"Perhaps it's because nature is something I just can't control." He finally replied and saw the reflection of Joni's eyes that indicated that the younger male found his reply amusing, which was good. "It's a shame really," he sighed, "I feel quite uneasy here."

"Want me to hold your hand?" Joni whispered.

Misha hesitated, watching him. Joni moved carefully on the bed, his hand reaching out to tap the spot next to him.

"Perhaps it would help?" Misha said as he stood up and approached the bed. Perhaps it could calm Joni? He wondered somehow hoping that his closeness could do that, it would mean a big deal to Misha if he was honest. The worst scenario was that his presence would just make Joni uneasy and scared. Dima's bed wasn't as big as his own, but still wide enough to lie beside another person and still have a bit of space in between.

He smiled as he leaned forward to arrange the cover better on Joni before lying down next to him on his side making sure that there was some space between them. He observed Joni's reaction, ready to get up if there were any signs of discomfort.

"I'm not scared of you," Joni whispered and reached out with his hand to take Misha's before closing his eyes.

"I'm glad that you aren't," Misha whispered, still looking at Joni's face carefully while his thumb gently caressed his palm. "How are you feeling? I mean, are you hurting much? Should I bring you something?"

"It hurts, but... there's nothing more that you can do, your presence is enough."

The touch of their hands was so innocent and tender, Misha thought, watching the slender hand that held his own softly. He took note of the bruise around Joni's wrist and the hand-shaped bruise on his arm, seeing them made his chest tighten at the thought of what Chris had done. Joni's eyes were closed again, only their joined hands touched and nothing more.

"You're really feeling ok, with me here?" Misha asked observing him and Joni cracked his eyes open.

"Yes," he tried to smile, "I told you I'm not scared of you... and I don't want you to be scared of the storm." Joni's eyes closed again, and a small smile tugged on the corners of his lips.

Misha smiled watching him, wondering if Joni saw through his little white lie. The storm didn't scare him, what had happened to Joni and what had almost happened; his possible death scared him. Chris had scared him.

He felt better lying there next to Joni now, it felt weird too, weird because of the emotions that had awoken in him, emotions so new that he didn't quite know how to handle them. His little bruised brat – he thought, feeling the urge to bring his hand to stroke Joni's hair, to hold him a little bit closer to feel his heartbeat, and... it was strange, so strange.

 All he knew for certain was how much he wanted to keep the other safe, staying close to him felt like the best way to ensure it. He stayed like that, holding Joni's hand and watching him in the darkness that was broken by the soft candlelight. He just couldn't help but wonder how Chris could have hurt Joni so badly, how could anyone hurt their partner that way?

It was somewhat endearing how Joni's hand still held his as if it was the most natural thing there was; how odd. How odd were these awakening feelings in his chest?

After some time Misha got up, reluctantly letting go of Joni, who had already fallen asleep. He blew the candles out, turned the lamp off, and then returned to the bed as quietly as he could.

It didn't take long for him to fall asleep as well.

But like the previous night, Misha woke to the frightened whimpering. It was three am, and Joni's hand was squeezing the sheet as he tossed restlessly, cold sweat on his forehead. Misha reached to touch him gently.

"Joni, wake up," he said, nudging him softly again. "Just a nightmare, it's alright," Misha explained as soon as Joni's eyes had opened. He reached his hand to stroke his damp hair back, Joni's breathing was still fast and his gaze was confused.

The storm had faded, but it was still raining slowly. Joni looked around the room and then back at Misha, at first slightly confused about why Misha was in the bed with him, but while he lay under the covers the other man lay beside him fully clothed.

"He came here and I was alone, I couldn't get up, I tried but I couldn't move," Joni whispered and felt Misha's hand move softly along his arm now.

"He's arrested, Joni, he wouldn't be able to come near you now. Besides, we wouldn't even leave you alone here. If I'm not home then Ivo will be. If neither of us can be for some reason then Dima will come here."

Joni sighed, "I don't want to make your lives complicated like this, I can manage alone too. It's my imagination, he won't get out...right?" he asked and Misha could read the true worry in him.

"He won't get out Joni, he won't hurt you again," Misha assured, watching him closely. "And it's alright to be frightened after what you've been through. The truth is that you are hurt, you need a little help and with these nightmares, you're having I think it would be unnecessary stress for you to stay alone."

Joni was silent, looking away from him and Misha again moved his hand to his hair.

"What are you thinking?" Misha asked carefully.

"About Chris," Joni whispered, "I don't want to think about him, but I can't help it... What will happen to him now?"

Misha frowned, "well, hopefully, he gets deported and serves a long sentence in Canada. That would be somewhat fair."

"Will they deport him?" Joni stared at the ceiling, "he's mad at me, he'll blame me... for everything and..."

"I'll be surprised if they don't give him a restraining order," Misha told him.

"I hate being weak like this," Joni sighed then.

"I know and you're not weak, just your body needs to recover now, I know you'll come through this and show that asshole." Joni turned to look at Misha. He was still worried and confused over everything that had happened, over Chris, it was difficult to understand that it was really over, that he wouldn't have to be near Chris anymore.

Joni looked at him and Misha could see the confusion and worry, questions left unspoken reflecting in his gaze.

"What is it?" Misha asked with concern over his voice, noticing his hesitation.

Joni swallowed, "nothing," he whispered and closed his eyes. "It hurts... I want this pain to stop."

Misha caressed his hair softly, "do you need anything?"

"No, I'll just... try to get more sleep," he whispered.

Misha lay still next to him, listening to the rain outside and watching Joni wondering what he was still hiding, hoping that he would start opening up more about his past relationship.

**^^**^^**

In the morning the clouds had slowly started to break, revealing rays of the sun. Misha stirred awake next to Joni who was still sleeping. Lying still for a moment, Misha watched the dark-haired male next to him, listening to his breathing which was calmer now, if he was dreaming perhaps his dreams were more peaceful.

Finally, he pulled himself up as quietly as he could and stretched his sore muscles, a hot shower, perhaps some breakfast, and then he could return to check on Joni who would hopefully remain sleeping a little longer.

It was 10 am when he got into the kitchen after a rather long shower and a fresh change of clothes. The first thing he noticed was the lovely smell of fresh coffee that instantly filled his nostrils and made him head straight toward the coffee pot.

"How's our patient doing?" Ivo, who was reading a newspaper in front of the table, asked, turning his eyes to him.

"Sleeping, had a bit of a restless night, the storm and he had nightmares too, woke me up a few times," Misha answered, covering a yawn with his hand.

"You spent the whole night with him again?"

"Yes, because I know he has nightmares of that asshole, I don't want him waking up scared and alone." Misha almost snapped, opened the fridge, and took out the milk, pouring some into his coffee cup.

"Misha, don't get so defensive, I didn't mean anything bad by it."

Misha glanced at him from over his shoulder and sighed. "I've just learned to get defensive with you... You and your insinuations."

Ivo sighed looking at him, "Okay... I'll try to tone it down," he promised and took a short pause. "The cops will come over today, to talk with Joni, around noon."

Misha checked the time again before sitting down and nodded. "I should make him some breakfast," he rested his chin against his arms. "I really don't feel like going to work tomorrow."

"Well, your holiday won't be that far away," Ivo smiled gently, "Want me to prepare you some sandwiches?" He asked, observing him.

"Hm... this is a first." Misha gave a tired grin, "I'm trying to remember when you last offered to make me breakfast."

"It wasn't that long ago. I made you plenty of breakfasts when you were a teen, a hung-over teen," Ivo grinned and got up, "Joni's throat must still be sore?" he asked, going to the fridge.

"I think so, his voice is still a little odd... and hey, don't make it sound like I was hungover all the time."

"Well, often enough at least," Ivo teased, glancing at him. "Okay, so something not so solid for Joni..."

"He seemed to like the smoothies I made for him yesterday... I can make one for him."

"So I should just make the sandwiches for you?" Ivo asked with small amusement. "Yes, I think yours would taste better."

Misha glared at Ivo, "Just to let you know, you're doing it again," he sighed, "And honestly I'm a little scared of leaving you with him tomorrow, your sense of humor, your perverted sense of humor is not what he needs right now." Misha reminded him and took a sip of his coffee.

Ivo smiled and set a small plate with two ham and cheese sandwiches in front of Misha.

"I am very aware of what he's been through," he spoke in a more serious tone, filling his coffee cup, "and despite what you may think I'm not stupid enough to upset him with my jokes."

Misha picked one of the sandwiches watching his older brother and finally, he nodded.

Ivo sat down on his previous seat. Misha stared at the table while eating lost in his thoughts.

"What are you thinking?" Ivo asked carefully, holding the warm cup between both of his hands.

Misha shrugged at first, "well," he started, "I just wish I knew why... Why was he with him? And to be honest I fear the details he's still hiding."

"You can't expect him to trust you enough to pour his heart out to you yet," Ivo said quietly, "thinking of what his relationship was like is enough reason for him to have some mistrust. And considering the past between you two, well, give him time, I'm sure he'll talk eventually."

**^^**^^**^^**

The sun was shining again; a soft summer breeze from the open window caressed his face softly. Joni lay awake, staring at the wall; Misha had brought him breakfast earlier and had also let him know that the cops were soon going to visit. It unnerved him, even though he knew that they would try and help him, but he was still nervous about what would be expected of him.

He went through all the details in his mind, everything from the beginning. He couldn't stop thinking about Chris, about the change in him. He felt tears slowly gathering in his eyes, remembering the way Chris had once been, remembering the beginning hurt as well, he wanted to understand but couldn't, wished that he could somehow ask and get the answers from the man that Chris had once been.

It was too confusing, he wanted to let go but couldn't, why the sudden longing? It made no sense and it disgusted him. He had to let go, the memory of Chris was fake, maybe he had been just too blind in the beginning? He wanted to talk with Adam, but suddenly the need became intense; he needed to talk with Adam to understand Chris.

A knock on the door.

"Y-yes?"

First, he saw Misha who opened the door to let in a man and a woman.

"Good afternoon Mr. Lehto," Cops, wearing civilian clothes. Joni's heart started to beat nervously and he looked towards Misha hoping he would stay.

"We came to ask you some questions about what happened to you, about your relationship with Mr. Hanratty."

Joni moved to sit up slightly and nodded, "Yes, I understand," He whispered, glancing at Misha again, perhaps after all it was better if he left. He wasn't sure just how much he needed to tell these people.

The two officers walked further in, middle-aged, normal-looking people, Misha offered them a seat.

"We would like to talk with Mr. Lehto alone," the woman said, a small smile on her lips; comforting, her partner was more serious looking, tired, perhaps.

"Of course," Misha nodded, glanced at Joni, and left the room. The door closed, Joni felt uncomfortable on the bed, it didn't seem proper to talk with cops like this, he wished he could have bathed first, hoped that he could...

"We have talked with your family and your neighbors and with Mr. Hanratty, we just need more details that only you can give. Just relax, this shouldn't take too long."

Joni nodded, he didn't feel self-confident, he wondered what Chris had told them, had he blamed it all on him? Told them that he was a slut? Told them he cheated and acted coldly? Tried to justify his actions? Or perhaps he had denied everything? Had he told them that he was willing when...?

"Were you in agreement with Mr. Hanratty when you left for the cabin on June seventeenth?"

"No, I didn't want to go. I- I tried to break up our relationship... before."

"Mr. Hanratty claims that you left in agreement, that you did have a quarrel that involved Mr. Volochov and you intended to try and solve it?"

"We did quarrel about Misha," Joni paused, "Mr. Volochov," It felt weird calling him by his surname. "I didn't want to go because Chris... I knew what would happen and I was right."

"Did Mr. Volochov harm you physically?"

Joni frowned at this, "No, Chris did."

"Mr. Hanratty claims you had willing sexual intercourse, is this true?"

"No," he replied tensely, "He abused me then he..." Joni paused, he felt nauseous, "I didn't want it, I was too weak to push him off."

"Did Mr. Hanratty harm you physically before June seventeenth?"

"Yes," Joni whispered, feeling more and more uncomfortable.

"Now, can you tell us in your own words what happened that day?" The voice was gentle, and calming, Joni took a deep breath before starting to go over that day, trying to be as honest as he could.

**^^**^^**

Half an hour later they had left, Joni felt nauseous and restless; there would be a trial – he thought. There was no way Chris would admit to everything. He would have to face Chris in court and Chris would be so mad at him and...

A soft knock on the door, Joni couldn't find his voice, but he didn't need to, the door opened slowly and Misha peeked in before stepping further inside.

"Hey, everything alright?" He asked.

Joni shook his head and didn't look at him, he placed his hands over his stomach; it felt difficult to breathe.

"I would like to take a bath or shower," He whispered.

"What?" Misha came closer, he hadn't really heard him.

"I need to wash," Joni repeated and tried to get up.

"Hey, hold on there," Misha reached to help him, seeing how distressed Joni was. "Perhaps a bath would be better for you, so you don't have to stay up on your feet." He pondered while helping Joni up.

Joni nodded, his mind feeling restless, his legs feeling weak and he took the support that the other man offered, though the helplessness made him feel even more uneasy. He didn't want to feel this way, he didn't want to be weak, didn't want to be the victim!

"Let me help you downstairs, okay?" Misha asked. "I can carry you," He offered, but Joni shook his head.

"No," He said stubbornly, "My legs are not broken." He said and started moving towards the doorway. Misha sighed, hurrying beside him.

"I know they're not broken, but you're in pain and I want to help you."

Joni gritted his teeth and nodded. "Help, but I won't be carried, okay?" He insisted stubbornly, reaching the stairway.

*

"Ivo, fill up the bath!" Misha called, supporting Joni as they started slowly coming down the stairs. It was painful for him to watch, he could see Joni was hurting which each step that he took, but as much as he would have wanted to just scoop him up in his arms and carry him, he knew Joni needed to do this himself. A matter of pride, Misha figured.

Finally downstairs Misha guided Joni to take a seat on the couch. "Wait here and I'll check the bath." He said and Joni nodded.

Misha met Ivo on the way to the bathroom. He could hear the water running. Ivo glanced towards the living room. "How is he?"

"A little shaken up after the cops," Misha sighed.

Ivo nodded, "Poor kid... Okay, I'll go prepare some soup for him."

Once the bath was ready Misha walked back to get Joni and walked with him to the bathroom "Okay, I'm going to help you undress now, you're okay with that?" He asked.

"No," Joni sighed, "but I'll try to deal..."

"Good, you're safe with me, no worries okay?"

Joni only nodded a bit stiffly and looked away when Misha helped him to undress his t-shirt. 

Misha gritted his teeth slightly when seeing the bruises on Joni's chest and sides that were now a darker shade and looked rather painful, making him slightly amazed that Joni wasn't complaining about the pain more.

"Can you turn? I don't want you to look," Joni asked.

"Okay, of course," Misha replied, turning around, his back against Joni to allow him to undress his pants.

"I'm going to turn around now Joni and help you in, alright; I won't look down, okay?"

He heard the younger man sigh. "Okay," He finally whispered.

"Relax, ok, carefully now," Misha spoke gently, helping him into the tub and then sitting down in the warm water with bubbles that he had added to make Joni more comfortable.

Misha then took the sponge carefully and started