Chapter 21// Trouble

"Do you wanna talk about what happened?" Flora's tone was soft and timid.

They had returned, in an awkward silence, to Flora's bedroom.

Alex didn't answer. He twirled his thumbs one over the other and fiddled with his hands.

"Alex," she sighed, "I think we should talk about—"

"—No," Alex spoke sternly, "there's nothing to talk about."

"I can't keep doing this, Alex!" Flora rose to her feet. Alex's eyes widened slightly at her abruptness.

"Doing what?" Alex spat, he rose to his feet, towering over Flora, though her determination didn't waver.

"This! Whatever this even is. One day you're hot, the next you're cold. I don't even know where I stand with you sometimes."

Flora sat back down on the edge of the bed. She was tired, fed-up, and Alex knew it.

"I'm sorry," Alex sighed.

"That's not good enough anymore, Alex! I'm sick of hearing that word come out of your mouth. You're sorry, you're sorry, you're always sorry — it's exhausting!" Flora shouted at him for the first time ever.

He was exhausted too. His mind and his heart were in a constant battle over her. Part of him knew he was bad for Flora. And the other part, the selfish part, just didn't care.

"Flora I—"

"You know what sucks?" She interrupted.

"That I actually care about you," she continued, her fingers massaging her temples.

"I thought you cared about me too, but no, you're just selfish. You care about Alex and no one else. Because if you cared about me, you'd talk to me. You wouldn't let me worry about you when I don't hear from you. You wouldn't make me wonder if you even like me. I should just know these things, Alex! My, God. Maybe you're right, you're no good for me."

Alex was stunned. No one ever cared about him enough to tell him off like this, but he needed it. He needed to hear it. He knew if he didn't start giving her something, anything, she was going to leave. And that scared him even more than letting his guard down and being vulnerable.

"The phone call... it was—" Alex paused.

He knew he couldn't tell her the true context of the call. He wasn't prepared to give that part of his past to her just yet. Regardless of how angry she was right now.

"It was an old friend. We ended on bad terms and I didn't expect to hear from him again."

Flora scooted closer to Alex on the edge of the bed. She pressed her head against his chest and listened to the pace of his heartbeat. She let out a deep sigh. Alex knew she wasn't really angry at him; she was frustrated because she cared. He draped his arm over her shoulder and breathed in the familiar scent of her shampoo.

"What did he want?" Flora asked gently.

Alex took a minute before answering, "money."

He wasn't lying, technically. The guy did want money, it was just how he wanted Alex to get him the money that Alex conveniently left out.

"Why would they call you all of a sudden?"

"I don't know."

That time his answer was entirely truthful. He really didn't know why, and he was scared to find out.

When his mom died, Alex got involved with a bad crowd. They got him into drugs — the heavy kind. He was grieving; he just lost the only person who ever loved him and the high took his mind off it. Then they started asking him to do drug runs. He was broke, needed a fix, and they'd give him a high for free in exchange. He did it, and now he's paying for it.

"It's gonna be okay. He'll leave you alone once he realizes you're not going to give it over," Flora played with the chain that hung from his neck.

Alex smiled, although Flora couldn't see it, she knew he was grateful for her support

"I—" Alex stopped himself before he could finish.

" I care about you, you know that?"

Love was the word he wished he had the courage to use.

Flora smiled, "I know. I care about you, too."

Alex wished he could understand the way he felt for her. It was like part of him felt vulnerable — like the slightest rejection from her would shatter him. Then the other part felt strong — like he could protect her against a thousand armies.

He thought about what his mother used to tell him about love. She'd say: you know you love someone when you've given them all the power to hurt you, but you trust them not to use it.

And he loved Flora.

Alex knew Flora fell asleep once her grip on his waist loosened and her breathing slowed. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. He had a message from the same number from earlier.

We have unfinished business, Alex. Meet me at the address I'm sending. If you don't, I'm coming to you.

Alex's hand clenched so tightly around his phone he swore he could've broken it.

He glanced down at Flora. Her chest rose and fell slowly, her hair fell over part of her face, her cheeks were rosy; and she was beautiful.

He had two options. Ignore the message and let the asshole find him, which meant finding Flora. Or, go meet him and end this once and for all.

Alex made up his mind. He would never let that piece of shit near Flora, even if that meant showing up at the address he sent to his phone. He hated feeling like a lap dog. Plus, this could all be a trap; he screwed a lot of people over trying to get high, but he'd do anything to protect her.

He slowly removed himself from Flora's grasp, placing a pillow under her arms so she wouldn't wake up. His index finger gently caressed the side of her face, moving the hair out of her eye. He leaned down and placed a soft kiss on her temple, before heading out to confront his past.