Chapter Three
-As A Teen-
~~~~~~~~~
:: 30 minutes later ::
~

After picking up James from daycare and now unlocking the door to the house, I couldn't feel my heart beat anymore. I was in pain, pain as if my heart slid from body and shattered each time I took a step.

Pushing through it for now, I carried James upstairs to his room. I placed him down in his play pen and turned on the tv right before I left out again.

"Diya?" his little voice called out.

"I'll be back okay" I said with a sniffle, not really wanting him to see me cry.

I cracked his door and walked down the hall to the bathroom, closing that door completely to let it all out. Tears and more tears came crashing down as I sat on the lid of the toilet seat.

What was wrong with me. I didn't even know what I did so wrong for him to just break up with me like that. I tried my hardest to please him and it still failed.

...I was a failure. It had to be my fault. Like it always is. I got pregnant at 12 years old, still living in my parents house while my own child calls me "Sister".

All the pain and shame came on to me like demons. Poisoning my head and making me do the unthinkable yet again. Reaching my lowest point, I reached out to the infamous blade in the medicine cabinet and held out my arm, crying.

I ripped my skin in seconds, crying out in so much pain while blood covered my wounds. I leaned over towards the sink in front of me and laid my head up against the cold ceramic to continue crying from my broken heart.

*Small knocking*🚪💢

Wiping my face immediately and clearing my throat, I reached over and opened the door. Revealing my little brother behind it. "James I'm coming okay..."

"You okay Diya?" He asked.

"I'm fine.."

"Why can-I-I hear you crying. Are you sad?"

"I'm fine, okay. How did you get out of your play pen though?" I stood up, trying to change the topic.

"I come to see you.."

"I know that, but how?.." I asked him, cleaning my arm and washing that and the blade off.

"I don't know. I just really wanted to see you..." he said, sounding so innocent.

I smiled in the mirror and wrapped myself up with bandaids. He opened the door wider to step inside, catching me as I applied the bandaids on to my arm.

"You use ban-aids too?"

"Ban-aids?" I laughed. "Yeah, I use ban-aids. Diya has a boo boo"

"Did you fall down? I get boo boos when I fall down"

"Gotta be careful next time, okay" I closed the medicine cabinet finally and bent down to pick him up.

"Diya you eyes are pink"

"Oh it's okay, let's go back and play in the room" I carried him out the bathroom and back into his room.

*

"What color is this, boo?" I asked him next, holding up a green crayon.

"Green"

"Very good, now what color is....my shirt?"

"Green!" he answered quickly, making me laugh at his excitement.

"No, it's pink"

"Oh. So what color is this?" he picked up a couple crayons.

"Well, you have a blue crayon, a purple crayon and a red one"

"Diya you so smart. You should get a yellow star like miss Joann say"

"How many yellow stars do you have?" I asked him, curiously.

"I –I got 2 yellow stars for being smart. She took one away because I pushed Kyle at play time though"

I chuckled. "Why did you do that? Stop being bad at school"

"I not bad at school. I don't like Kyle, he–he takes my car and throws it. So I-I push him into the wall and make him cry"

"...–least you know self defense" I laughed to myself.

"Yeah I know allll about self-defense" he said confidently, repeating me.

"I'm sure you do, little guy. I'm sure you do. I love you though, do you love me?" I leaned in towards him, giving him kisses.

He laughed at me attacking him.
"Of course I do"

*
:: A week later ::

Recently Kehlani came back home from California. I swear something bad always happen when she's not around. I haven't even told her about Damon, yet. Currently, I was driving us back to her new apartment in West Miami.

Kel is so independent and that's one of the many things I admire about her. She's crazy successful at this age and could take care of anything that came at her way. A go getter too. Not really having a home home, she went and brought her own at just 18.

If you look at me, I was 17 at this time and with a 4 year old now. Still living under my parent's rules when they didn't even come home at night. I hated living with my parents now, it didn't even feel like a home anymore. Just a placed where I went to sleep at night while me and my brother ran the streets.

Mariah left the house almost 2 years ago now, which I thought was a blessing in disguise. We still didn't get along and our relationship got even worse after James came into the picture. She wouldn't even help me take care of him, but its not like I really expected her to. "He's your kid, not mine" she would say, her favorite line.

(Kehlani's POV)💚💋

"What are you doing over there? You haven't been off the camera since we got in the car" Dyme said, looking slightly over from driving.

"So what– I can't take selfies, mom?" I asked, and posed for another one to add to my gallery.

"Ever since you got your licence, you think you the boss now huh?" I teased her, pulling at her curls.

"And you're scared to drive a car, so shut up before I pull over"

"And do what, best friend?"

"Already back in my city and wanna start shit with me?" she chuckled, putting a blunt to her lips.

"I can start all I want, remember last time on the couch"

She laughed at that and tried to continue driving. "Yeah I remember, you slapped all that lotion on my face. But don't worry, I'm a get you back for that"

"In other news, how's it been? Any trouble?"

"Me and Damon broke up.." she said confidently.

"Shit, really? Why?" I asked her with furrowed eyebrows.

"He got tired of me I guess, just wanted sex until it wasn't good and he had to cut me off..."

"Mm mm mm" I shake my head. "How you take that though?"

"How do I always take it Kel? This ain't the first time, but it damn sure is the last. I'm done tryna love these niggas out here. All of em no good and I'm always with one...so apart of me blames myself"

"So you blame yourself for there being fuckboys in the world?"

"Not because of them, but because I always end up with one and my heart is always broken afterwards. This is the...6th time, Kel. 6 times I've been either thrown around, taken for granted, cheated on, not cared for, even abused at one point when Dre slapped me in my face"

"Please don't talk about him, that shit still makes my blood boil. I swear if that bitch wasn't in another state.."

"So yeah,....I'm giving up"

"I can understand why you want to but I'm sure you'll fall in love again and this time with the right guy"

"Can't say I'm looking forward to it.."

"Awww, stop being like that Dyme. We both know niggas ain't shit and that's while I'm gay now. But there's always someone for somebody. Maybe he just hasn't cross your way yet"

"Maybe.." she shrugged nonchalantly, leaning her arm out the window.

*

"Nooo Kel" she laughed.

"Why not? I'd come in all smooth like and ask for Damon. Then pull out my glock and say "You fucked with my girl? Pow!"

"And you honestly think you'll get away with murder that easily, huh?"

"I'll just say it was you..." I teased.

"Fuck you. I have a life too, you know" she said, leaning back in my desk chair.

"Speaking of that, what would you say to staying with me?"

"As in living together?"

"Yeah, we can be roommates" I smiled.

"And where would I sleep, roommate?"

"In my back room..." I shrugged.

"You mean your closet? Now how the hell am I even going to get a toe in there without knocking stuff down"

"I'm a move some shit obviously. I just thought it would be cool for you and I to live together. We could watch movies, drink and smoke weed, write poetry and sing.." I suggested, and got up to grab a beer from my cooler.

She smiled. "That would be fun.."

"You can even have my little nephew come over occasionally. Since I know he can't fully live with you yet, but he's more than welcome to stay"

"Like I said Kel, that would be fun. I'm a see if I can smooth it over with Darnell and Kim first before I say yes"

Hey, thanks for reading💋
Dyme in the Media
--Tay😏