For the past few weeks, everything had been the same. The same sympathetic stares, the condolences that had little to no meaning and a method just to fuel up peoples own moral compass. The lecturers holding you back for several minutes after each lecture if you looked a single inch out of it when the reality was the lecture was just fucking dull. Wanting space was a crime because being surrounded by people who were only offering a helping hand for their own selfish reasons, not because they actually gave a damn.

Selena has been feeling overwhelmed with it all and finally caved in to one single day of being alone, rejoicing herself in the things she loves the most, food and no distractions. Even Faith and Jason were respectful enough to give her those solid 24 hours because although Selena was insistent she was okay and just needed a break from University, she was still struggling to accept her friend's death.

"Sweetie, are you doing okay?" Selena had some courage to facetime her mother after a good hour nap from all the effort of doing nothing.

"I could be doing better." She gave herself a little honesty, but she didn't want to worry about her mother too much as she was sat in a small cafe on her afternoon break. Selena was still snuggled in bed, fluffy pillows galore on her screen. "But I just needed one day to myself."

"Selena, you're more than welcome to come home for a few days if you need to. I know losing a friend is hard and no one expects you to be handling it perfectly." Her mother became regretful that she hadn't driven down to the campus to physically hold her daughter since the death until every tear came spilling out all in one go. Selena kept denying the invitation, but she hoped that one time she would accept, but it wasn't today.

"I do feel better about the situation, I think it's sunk in more now. I just got sick of everyone acting like I'm this old, fragile doll who needs nurturing every second otherwise it'll break into pieces. Don't get me wrong, it's a hard topic to talk about on the best of days but I am managing my days better. I'm not crying as much. I'm not skipping meals, I'm doing my work and things are somewhat normal."

"I'm glad you're not skipping meals." Her mother pulls a concerned face. "But I'm glad you're getting there, baby. Grieving works in mysterious ways and things are always easier said than done but hold onto those beautiful memories you have shared with Liv, celebrate her life."

"I'm trying to." A confirmed smile, one her few genuine ones. However, she wanted to talk less about Liv and more about other things that would distract her of that topic more. "I have been planning on making a cheesecake sometime during the week. I got the ingredients for it, I really fancy getting into some baking to cheer the spirits ups."

"I have some great recipes somewhere if you want me to find them for you. I have an amazing lemon and lime one." Selena shook her head before her mother could get too much into her thoughts.

"I actually bought my own book from Amazon, I think." She lifts her baking recipe book which was directly beside her, lifting it up to the screen. "It also has Vegan recipes too so I thought I'd try one out and see what it's like."

"Don't be wasting all your money on baking." She knew Selena liked to sometimes impulsively shop online when her mood was low so she didn't want to come overly critical, but Selena sometimes needed that restraint.

"I'm not. And before you go all motherly on me, I only bought the book." She pauses to herself. "And a hair curler."

"Okay. Just don't go crazy on the spending, please. You don't have long left of this year anyway. Look, darling I have to go now. I better get back to work. I love you. Ring me later if you need me at all, okay. Take care of yourself."

"Love you too. You too. Have fun at work." They both do their usual kiss face goodbyes before Selena finally ends the call. She signs before settling her body even more into her bed, pulling the blanket more over her body, staring at the ceiling.

She was now back in the silence she woke up in. But she had no complaints. If anything, she didn't take this as being alone, she took it as being free from the chaos

***

Selena had managed to bring herself to making that cheesecake the next day, a few days earlier than planned. She took another day off but this time to be completely productive.

A beautiful raspberry cheesecake that had the same vibrancy as one with all the diary sat on the counter with two pieces missing already and a plaster lid to avoid any bugs getting a taste of it too. Even Selena was amazed by how it has turned it - consistency of the evenly distributed layers were perfect, the colours were not dull and even the taste was irresistible. Perhaps even better than the dairy version. You would naturally assume a qualified chef has managed it, but it was a lucky first attempt.

"And you're telling me, this is completely vegan? No dairy whatsoever?" Faith was shaken by the flavours that were manifesting against her tongue. "And you made it from scratch?

She laughed at Faith's lack of confidence in her. "Completely vegan. Trust me, I expected much worse."

"Fuck, I need you to make this for me every week." She had managed to eat her slice in little time, Selena had only had a taste test of hers. But it managed to put a healthy smile on each of their faces, which was a bonus. "A passion fruit one, next time."

"Why don't you make one? I'm sure you could handle it."

"Are you out of your mind? I would burn this place down even with a no-bake one." True. Faith was a terrible cook, let alone baking with the complexity of mixing a few ingredients together in an electric mixer.

Selena finished off her slice, resisting the urge to have another. It was quite early in the afternoon, a merely 15:07pm. She could have one guilt-free and a later dinner or she could wait and have a dinner that wouldn't be spoilt from all the deliciousness she was unable to resist from. She simply sighed at the hard decision.

"I'm going to make a coffee, do you want one?" Faith says as her spoon smacks the plate loudly. She picks it up, eyes directly on Selena as she walks towards the empty sink bowl.

She knew her answer straight away. "Go on then if you're offering. My mug is in my cupboard."For once." She mutters, but Selena manages to hear perfectly. Then again, Faith's subtle shade was meant to be heard.

"Hey, I am not that bad." She knew instantly was she was referencing, which made her full-on defence mode with a smirk. "At least not anymore."

Faith was insanely good at the straight face look with a perched eyebrow. "Selena you maybe quite tidy in your room but we both know damn well you are useless at bringing your plates and cups back in here once they go in."

A useless fight. Even Selena knew that was an absolute fact of the century. "I mean true, but at least I'm learning."

"You had to at some point."

"Hey, what are you two girls arguing about?"

Selena handed over her mug to Faith to stop the mocking and she couldn't help herself with giving Jason a big hug as he enters. "Nothing, nothing, ignore her. Hey, you. Do you want coffee?" She whispers to him so Faith cannot overhear.

"Sounds good."

"Make that two Faith." She shouts as Faith just stares at her blankly for a split second, not moving in a dramatic sense before a swift eye roll to Jason's cupboard. "She's in the best of moods today if you couldn't tell."

Jason didn't let his arms leave Selena's back, nor did hers. "You know, I had a good time last night."

Ever since coming back to the flat, Selena and Jason had spent massive amounts of time together, especially at night where they would sleep in Selena's room, cuddling mostly and watching films. Selena would initiate it, wanting that comfort when she went to sleep and Jason knew better than to decline the generous offer of holding the woman he really wanted.

However, the sexual tension was building up for both parties each night nothing happens. It was a weird proposition for them both. They both wanted more, yet neither could physically ask to take it. It was the fear of rejection from Jason and the fear of trusting from Selena. They knew there was something between them, but the leap of faith from either was out of grasp.

"So did I." Everything was kept under a PG rating, although they did enjoy a cuddle together as they fell asleep, watching some Adam Sandler comedies. Selena bit her lip as she smirked at him, admiring the affectionate look he had on his face. "It would be nice to have my own bed for once though. I miss having it all to myself."

"It's not my fault I'm too damn irresistible to you, Gomez."

"I'm only joking, I have no complaints."

"Do you fancy going to the movies tonight? I don't really know what's on but I know you're into your movies so you can pick what we watch."

She doesn't even think about the words. "Birds of Prey."

"There we go. You up for it?"

"I mean, I shouldn't really because I have spent enough money this week." She seriously thinks about it, but for long as she looks up to him. "It's a date."

"Here you go, loverboy." Faith slams the mugs onto the counter in front of them both, catching them both off guard. "Do I get an invite to this?"

"Faith, if you want to, you can come with us. More the merrier, right?" Jason doesn't oppose the idea, after all, he had learnt to like Faith and her witty personality. 

"Thanks, but I don't want to be sat in the dark with you two. I don't even want to think about it." She looks repulsed at the thought but hid it well as she sipped her coffee but managed to pull off a wide smile. 

Selena flushed with embarrassment despite the lack of action. "Join us, it will be great for all of us to enjoy something together."

"No, I don't want to impose at all. Plus, I am miles behind on my assignment so I need to get a start but have fun you two." Although Faith was a little gutted, she didn't lie. Unlike Selena, she doesn't have the skills to be ahead of her assignment. She was the type to get everything done in the last two days, but as this was a big chunk of her grade and was only given to them last week, she wanted a kickstart. This was it. No distractions, no flatmates and she could blast her music with no judgement. 

"If you're sure."

"I'm sure." She confirms with no signs of detectable weakness. 

Selena just nods to Faith as Faith takes a seat at the table next to her laptop. She puts in one of her earphones and powers it up. Jason looks back at Selena. "Do you like cheesecake?" She says to Jason.

***

"I really enjoyed that film." Selena and Jason walk up to the flat, hand in hand as she fumbles for her keys with her spare hand in the lift. "I don't get why it was so badly recieved by some people online."

"Toxic masculinity," Jason says. He was contently eating the remains of the large bag of popcorn they had bought between them. "Trust me, when men see strong, independent women that are more than a side piece and also ready to kick their ass then it's instantly criticised. It's stupid if you ask me. I'd let Harley or even Captain Marvel kick my ass."

Selena stares hopefully at him. "Sometimes I don't get how I was so lucky to have you as a flatmate."

"I ask myself that too." The doors finally open on their floor and Jason hovers behind as he waits patiently for Selena to open her flat door. "Why don't we do this more often?"

"Money." Is her simple answer as she flings the door open, quietly. It wasn't too late so Faith would still be up, but just in case to avoid a future argument about being aware of others.

"I mean, I want this to be a regular thing."

"Going to the movies? They have one of those unlimited cards if you want to go a few times a month." He cuts her off before she could get even more carried away with the wrong idea.

"No, Selena." He just laughs at her, her wild thoughts. "I mean, dating you, officially."

"Really?" She widens her grin as he looked lovingly into her eyes.

"Look, I know this isn't romantic or anything special but I just want you right now."

"Jason I-"

He cuts her off again to the words: "Will you be my girlfriend, Lena?"

He managed to take the leap they both wanted to do but pulled off several times between them. Selena was gobsmacked that this was even happening that even though she knew her response, the answer wasn't coming out. "Shit, I fucked it up, didn't I?"

"No, no, no." In that sudden moment of seeing Jason's guard up, she regains herself entirely and doesn't think twice before locking her lips onto his before whispering between the sudden breath they both needed. "Of course, I will."

It didn't take long before they carried on and were well into the moment, letting the fire and the sensation of each other touch surround them. Before they knew it, they were both in Selena's dorm, door locked, popcorn was thrown on the desk and Selena was lying down on the bed, Jason hovering on top without a single second away from her lips. It was like two sex-crazed teenagers, afraid that the second they stop the moment would be over. 

Jason didn't want to rush her into anything, however, that didn't mean he couldn't tease or do other things in the meantime. Eventually, his lips slipped from hers to her neck, sucking onto her flushed skin, slightly tasting off her faded perfume but it didn't matter. She unbuttoned her shirt to expose her bra for him as his hand caressed her skin before slipping perfectly underneath her jeans. Selena had no protest of this as she closed her eyes and let everything he was doing devour her senses.