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Selena didn't wait for anything. As soon as she received the message from Faith, she kicked on the easiest pair of shoes she had, a pair of Ugg boots and put on an oversized hoodie to avoid the icy breath of outside and left instantly. She instantly got on the first bus that arrived, perfect timing, placed earphones in and got off a few stops later. The only distraction to meeting Faith was a quick visit to the nearest corner shop where she thought she would need some necessities: two bottles of water, a share bag of peanut M&M's, some marshmallows and a small pack of tissues in case of a plausible breakdown. It was definitely one of the fastest times she had ever gotten ready and to the desired location.

She walked down the leafy surroundings until she met the pier, still hiding among a complete wall of green. As she paced herself down the wooden dock, she could see Faith nearing the edge, though her legs didn't dangle down, they were up to her chest as she held herself tightly, she needed the security. It was clear that her heart was shattered in a million and her chest was pretty much empty.

"It's weird how watching the water rippling in every direction is very therapeutic." Faith doesn't initially look back, it was like she could tell it was Selena walking towards her by the pace of the footsteps. "I could probably watch it for hours and be content with it."

"Aren't you cold? Do you want my jacket?" Selena said worryingly, not really thinking about what she was saying. The wind wasn't heavy but enough to send a deep, unwanted shiver if you weren't covered up properly. Faith only had a coat that was made out of thin material, not enough to be warm.

Faith turns her head slowly and surprisingly, there wasn't any serious damage caused by the events she tried to avoid. She didn't have any makeup on so she had no mascara trail running down. Her cheeks were a shade of crimson, contained with too much pain and had been drowned by frequent streams of tears, though she looked like she hadn't cried in over an hour. She kept a strong exterior in comparison to other girls facing heartbreak, she definitely was someone that wanted to show emotion unless absolutely necessary. Was heartbreak really necessary? A few broken hearts then and there is the foundation of life? Right?

"I didn't know where else to go, what else I could do to keep myself distracted. All I could hear was her voice down the hall no matter what I was listening to or watching and I just got overwhelmed with it all"

"I get it. It would drive me crazy too, I understand." Selena takes petite steps, easing her presence until she was sitting beside her. They remained in a sort of silence that you just need for a moment. It was comforting for Faith to know that her friend had actually come to her need, even if there wasn't much to say at this moment of time and Selena was comforted knowing that Faith was moderately okay and was indeed safe. "I got you these. I didn't know what your ideal comfort food would be for a time like this so I just grabbed a couple of things."

Faith opened the packet of M&M's gently, unsure whether she wanted to indulge as if she didn't even deserve to. She only took one, just enough to regain some energy and stop the rumbling in her stomach from alerting the girl next to her that she was in fact starving. Although she knew she would get something on the way back to the flat, she wanted to lack direction. She liked the idea of watching the tranquil water motioning towards her with the tall, green plants blossoming around. Nature with its raw beauty.

"Faith." Selena took a shy breath, unsure whether her words were going to be helpful to her at all. Maybe the lack of words was a good thing. "You don't need to explain anything that you don't want to but you also don't need to pretend you have it all together, especially not for me."

"I know."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Right now, I just feel numb." She instantly replies without even an initial though. "I don't feel sadness, I don't feel anger. I don't even feel like yelling at her until I'm blue in the face just in hopes I can understand why she would do that to me. I just feel done with the situation completely."

"Really?"

"Is that really surprising to you? I hate this emotional process, it's pointless." She raises an eyebrow as if her best friend had no clue who she was. Selena wasn't shocked that she would ignore the situation as much as possible and at all costs necessary, but it didn't mean it wasn't what she hoped she would do. She and Lucy have been through enough to at least have a formation of civil talk so things can string together. "Everything would be simpler if we could just recognise the good sentiments in life and when something shitty happens, we simply recognise it for what it is, and move on to the next part of life."

Selena just sighs. "I just don't want you to bottle this shit up and it all eventually eating you up inside."

"I won't let it." A common response by the girl who didn't dare share too much about her emotional responses to pain.

"You can't control how you feel. These things cannot always be kept within in hopes it will solve like the issue didn't even exist in the first place. I'm sorry if I'm coming across a bit pushy but I don't want to see you like that. You know Olivia would say the same thing."

"I don't care what Olivia thinks." She spits hard.

"Don't be like that, Faith." It was the beginning of her detest, the tone of voice that makes you question whether you are in fact being ridiculous. "She is here for you too."

"Is she? Why isn't she with you then?"

"She's dealing with Lucy, trying to make sense of what happened." Selena's head drooped slightly, knowing that Olivia's appeared stance would not go smoothly with the girl who was the victim in all this, the one who deserves every ounce of support from her friends many times more than the person who caused the pain in the first place. 

"Lucy is probably twisting a bullshit story to make Liv go against me even though I'm the one suffering to this mess. I bet Liv has a notepad at the ready with her shitty fluffy, cat pen writing some poem about betrayal and lies for the universities poetry club as if she gives a shit. She's probably snuffing it all out to see if there is an inspiration to come out of it."

Faith pushed herself up from the edge and stood up, pacing a little on the wooden floor of the pier. Although it was majorly to do with the dead feeling in her legs from the lack of blood circulation, the idea of moving around made her mind wander to her liking. 

Being still had her interlock on shit she shouldn't think, the bad type too. It was never good, overthinking the impossible, the situation that you know haven't happened and won't, but you think of them anyway so if they become a reality, the blow is softer from your low expectations.

"Olivia will not side with Lucy," Selena says so certainly, and that she was. She also stood up, though she was visibly a lot calmer and didn't want to remain on the floor much longer. Faith standing up first made her feel like it was okay as she wouldn't be towering her friend. "Look, I know you are hurting about Lucy cheating on you bu-"

"I have been through a lot worse than Lucy sleeping with someone else." She mutters just loud enough for Selena to hear, though it wasn't the intention. "It's over, that's it."

"What? When?"

Faith turned around, her hand sliding into the only pockets she had on her coat. It was her way of looking more confident, though she was tightly grasping at the tissues she had in them as a stress release, nails digging hard enough into the exposed skin to possibly draw blood. Selena waited eagerly for a response. If Faith wasn't ready to open up about the issue at hand now, then perhaps talking about something else on her mind was the first step there. Small steps can often be more efficient than giant leaps with no substance, no meaning.

Faith's eyes looked around for an escape, barely focusing on the girl in front of her as her lips trembled from the strain of wording.

"With you."

Now, everything was silent. Even nature had to hold it's breath for a second. 

Selena barely processed the words that she wanted to ask Faith to repeat it, though she held her tongue. Her facial expression couldn't hold a single one for too long. It went from shock to a confused smile, back to shock and just flat out not knowing what to display other than looking at anything remotely good to avoid the wrong one to piss off someone.

"What?" Selena was bewildered completely.

Faiths present anger manifested into something more neutral though she was back to being in a teary state.

"When you left for Greece, that broke me more than anything. You left me, all alone wondering whether what we had was even important. You left so suddenly, what else was I supposed to think?

"Faith I-"

"All I wanted was you. And even when I had you in my arms, I still felt like I didn't."

"You had Lucy!" She exclaimed, barely thinking how any of this was even being dug up. A solo trip to cleanse the soul was now doing the opposite and it wasn't even at herself. "You had a girlfriend when I left, a girlfriend whom you seemingly were so in love with and it was reciprocated back, what is the problem?"

She didn't even have to think. Everything was like clockwork. The emergency to not stumble on the thought. "The problem is you left and you didn't even say goodbye. All I got was a fucking postcard a week after you finally decided to come home. bragging about this amazing adventure you had."

"I can't believe you are throwing that in my face now after all this time. This isn't about me, Faith."

"Why did you go then? Just answer that, why the fuck did you need to leave so badly that you couldn't even tell your fucking friends it was happening?"

"It's not important, now." Selena was the first to stumble, showing evidence that she was now losing the ability to look sharp.

"I don't give a fuck, tell me why you left me?"

She took one step forward in best efforts to regain that lost strength, though it failed because Faith knew her too much to be intimidated by it. "You want to know? You really want to know why I needed to leave the country?"

"Yes!" But Faith began to back down, but not that it was an insane difference.

"I lost myself!." Selena wanted to scream those words so loud that birds would dramatically leave their rest between the branches of the tree and perch beside them for the inside scoop. She desperately clung onto those thoughts for all this time, even after that needed time away. "I didn't know who I was, I didn't know my purpose in this world and why I wanted to get out of bed each morning. I struggled to accept the basic idea of living. I felt misplaced, a ghost in the midst of every crowd and nothing was doing it for me."

Faith's face softened immensely when she could see this conversation was now having a serious effect on Selena. Her face was gone a shade closer to red and the tears now forming. Selena was hurting at the hands of her best friend, who was just getting out her emotions, exactly what she wanted. This conversation was now hurting the both of them and it was neither their intentions. "Lena, I-"

"You were the first thing in my life in such a long time that brought that light back, it was so sudden, so fast, so uncalculated and it was everything."

Faith's tears couldn't hold on much longer.

"You were the first woman I was with and although that came with its own level of questioning, it was the first point in so long that life felt perfectly placed. Nothing bad remotely mattered because I had you to help me cope with it all."

"You ended things with me, though."

"Becuase my sexuality fucking scared me and the last thing I wanted to do was lead you on with false intentions. I was raised in a very conservative, Christian household, I couldn't even confide with my own parents like I always could about a boy down the street, about all these feelings because I didn't know how she would react or if I would even get disowned. I was ending things before they had even started from the fear of even accepting a huge part of my identity."

"Lena, please..." Faith wanted her to stop. Binary opposition, Faith couldn't open herself enough, Selena opened herself too much.

"I still remember the day you introduced Lucy as your girlfriend to me." Selena peered a small, broken smile as she reminisced. Her hands crept up to her face to wipe the tears in hopes to salvage the little make up she had on. "It was like a fucking truck had backed into me. Again, I couldn't even talk to anyone about this because I wanted to respect the decision we made of not telling anyone about us so I was trapped in my own subconscious." She had now managed to speak at a normal level of volume and intensity, though she was beginning a defeat. More breathless. "So I left. No permission. No strings. No distractions. Are you satisfied now?"

Faith didn't respond to that. Not even a nod as she watched her best friend hide her face in frustration. She was now moving irritability because her words were free, the only thoughts she caged and wanted the key to remain completely cemented. But she couldn't pass the opportunity. Once she started, the stop button was impossible to obtain.

"Since we are confessing shit, I may as well tell you this. I initially got with Lucy to make you jealous." Faith divulges in her own cold truths. "I did have a crush on her, but I didn't expect it to get serious the way it did. Perhaps you could say she was my rebound to get over you properly and no one knew. But you leaving made me fall more for her, she filled the void I desperately wanted you to fill."

"I'm sorry."

"It was good while it lasted, I suppose." Faith does chuckle, though it wasn't sustained or carried out for long.

Although she couldn't give a fuck about Lucy, it was one of the lowest things she had done to date and it has never settled fully. She knew no matter what happened with Lucy, it would never be on the same level as Selena and with everything on the table, it still didn't compare.

Selena challenged Faith to be more in touch with her feelings while Faith challenged Selena to stick her ground more and be fearless. Selena made her want to do the things she didn't want to do because of fear of cinematic cliches while Faith had Selena overcome fears of talking to waiters when her order was incorrect or not to the standard expected. They changed, but not in order to please the other. It was the type of expected change from dating someone with differences with personality. A shortlived romance made two people mould together to where they were one person, yet kept their sense of individualism. 

Faith and Lucy were perfect for each other, but more at the expense of change. It was what you would call a safe relationship. Comparimses were dealt with just doing what one wants because that was the easier way out. Faith and Lucy just moulded completely with little space to be separate because Lucy was insecure, while Faith just settled more than anything from her own jealous ways. Although they did have the cliches and moments where love was everything, it wasn't powering. It was known between them but they were happy together. 

"So... did you?" Calmly, Faith eventually spoke as the deadly silence entered.

"Did I what?" She spat. 

A small pause, deciding whether asking was even worth the response. "Did you find yourself again?"

"I did." A glimpse of a smile, Greece was a pivotal point in her life. "Just meeting these inspiring people really created a new outlook on life., you know?"

"That's great, I'm glad but that wasn't exactly what I meant." Faith's guard was nervously down now. This made her stomach churn inside and out. 

Selena regained some of her posture after taking a small sigh that led to Faith's deteriorating in a matter of seconds. Faith was now preparing herself for a letdown, the remaining piece of her heat to be grasped by the one person she felt was truly there for her, thick and thin. 

She looks at her, tears glistening in her soft eyes. Certainty on the tip of her tongue. "I loved you, Faith. I loved you so much."

That was all Faith needed to hear.

Before a moment could even pass, Faith had grasped Selena's face and connected their lips together like the cliche movies she disliked, a moment that was familiar to both of them almost like it was a continuation of yesterday. Selena didn't fight back and was reciprocating back instantly without a double thought, her hands wrapping around her hips afraid to let go again, losing herself entirely. Both of them could sense the other smirk throughout, the anger, the sorrow, the tears were overlooked, everything else didn't matter. It was the two of them against the world.

The energy from this moment had enough capacity to make anyone think twice about their relationship. Even for a split moment, they laughed at each other before continuing the lengthened kiss, Selena removing the strands of hair of Faith's face as it clumsily fell down. It was nothing other than perfect. The passion had it's longevity, even when the kiss slowed down. It was electrifying.

"Faith." She breathlessly said, slowly down the feeling, unsurely at first. She didn't want to give into the raging thought of how this needs to be handled differently and all that other boring shit.

"Please, don't say anything to ruin this." Also breathless, she knew what was to come next would be a killer for the moment. "Please."

She remained close to Faith, her hands remained loosely on her waist. "I have some things figured out now, but circumstances are different this time around. You just got out of a relationship, I can't do that to you. I-I can't do this just yet."

"I get it." Although that wasn't exactly the knife she thought Selena would stab her with, she took it with some grace. It was reasonable. "I know, I know." She was the one who separated all contact, just barely. "You also have feelings for McCann, it's not surprising."

"Shit."

"Sel, it's okay." She smiled through the minor jealousy, fighting the need to place her hand on her cheek for additional comfort. "Even if I knew you loved me and I stayed with Lucy, I wouldn't expect you to wait for my relationship to end in hopes we could get together properly. You found someone else who you have feelings for, it's okay."

"I don't want to hurt more people, the last person on that list is you."

"And I respect that." Faith takes a cautious step forward. "And when all this blow over and you decide to choose me, I will be waiting here for you."

With one small kiss on the lips as the disappointing finale, Faith takes Selena's bag and the packet of M&M's and begins to descend to the pier entrance. Completely taken back and confused by her intrusive thoughts, she watched her contently. Though, the smile on her face now didn't hold because this was just more trouble in the making.



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