Forty-Five

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Edited ▶

-


before hyunjin came home▶

Hyunjin

"Hyunjin, why did you bring us here?" Minho asked, eyeing the surrounding as Changbin did the same thing.

"Yeah I thought we were going to pick up some food." Changbin muttered.

The boys followed me, as I cautiously and slowly walked down this long alley.

Anticipating the stop at the end.

The sun was up and you could see a lot more than what you could at night.

Garbage cans trashed, bins near side it. Spray painted walls, showing words and drawings.

I turned around to look at Minho and Changbin and they were walking really close to each other looking nervous and creeped out.

Once we reached the end, I came to see old police caution tape. Some taped to the building and the rest laying flatly on the ground, black and dusty.

Down on the ground was black burn marks where as it looked like a body could fit perfectly in its place.

Changbin and Minho watched as I leaned down, hovering my hand over the burn marks.

Hand shaking and mind wandering.

Did she do this to herself?

What did Mina mean when this was my fault..?

Ever since she told me this, I couldn't help my mind getting lost in thought about reasons why this could be my fault.

Nari, please...

What happened...? Why did it have to be you..?

Im so sorry..

Im so sorry for everything..

I shouldn't have used you the way I did..

You were absolutely wonderful and using you to ignore how I felt for him... was absolutely stupid.

Not only were you such a beautiful girl, you were very considerate and kind, full of light and love, always smiling and giving hugs.

You cared for me.

You fell for me.

And i rejected you.

A hand placed on my shoulder snapped me back to the present. Seeing as I was now crawled up, holding my knees and crying into them.

"Jinnie, whats wrong?" Minho asked, hugging me from behind while Changbin tried soothing me down by holding my hands and caressing them.

"Nari." I stuttered. Both boys wide eyes as they look around there surroundings, finally putting two and two together.

"Oh Jinnie, why would you come here?" Changbin asked, hugging me from the front since Minho was hugging me from behind.

"I had to. I needed to." Sobbing into Binnies shoulder.

"Binnie, this is my fault." Crying harder and harder, feeling both Minho and Changbin hold me tighter than before.

"Oh Jinnie, trust me its not your fault okay? None of this is your fault." Changbin tried reassuring me but, he didn't know everything. How could he say that.

"I lied to her. I used her." They continued to hold me, listening to every word I stuttered out.

"She fell in love with me and I rejected her. I told her I couldn't keep this going. That I only dated her to hide the fact that I was into someone else, a boy." I sobbed harder, remembering that exact day.

Flashback

"Hey, what are you doing here?" She smiled, walking into the house and pulling me into a hearted hug.

"I missed my boyfriend dork." She laughed, pulling away and smiled before reaching up and placing a soft kiss on my cheek.

"Nari! You're here!" Felix and Changbin shouted from the top of the staircase, both boys running down to see Nari.

Changbin beat Felix down and picked Nari up and spun her around happily.

"Hey! I was going to do that!" Felix pouted, then laughed when Changbin almost tripped after putting Nari down.

Nari just laughed adorably and watched the two bicker.

"Lets go upstairs?" Nari asked and followed her up the stairs into my shared room with Jeongin.

Which he wasnt there at the moment...

Thank god.

Once we were in my room, she shut the door only to be stopped half way when Chan stopped it.

"Nari! You're here! And you didnt come say hi to me..." He pouted, moving his way into the room crossing his arms.

"Aw Channie, Im sorry." She hugged him and smiled, looking back to me with a glisten in her eyes.

I swear shes the nicest girl I have ever met.

I dont deserve her at all.

"Can you come play games with Felix, Binnie and I?" She laughed nodding yes.

"Just let me talk to Hyunjin first and we'll both go." He smiled happily and walked out shutting the door behind him.

She turned to me and breathed out, laughing at how my adopted brothers are.

"They love you, you know." She nodded. Sitting next to me.

"I know, but I love you." Oh. My heart sank, rather than feeling happy, i felt guilty.

She wasnt supposed to fall for me.

"Ha, you're funny." I laughed, trying to get out of this situation.

Her smile slightly fell, looking a little hurt by my response.

"Hyunjin.. I really do love you.." She said again, and this time my smile fell.

"Nari.."

"You don't have to say it back now, I just wanted to let you know how i felt." She stood up and straightened out her flowy beautiful skirt.

"Let's go play with the boys ye-" I grabbed her hand, pulling her to sit back down.

"Look, Nari you are such a wonderful girl. Trust me anyone would be so lucky to have you. But.." She looked down at her hands, having her hair block the side of her face.

"I can't keep going in this relationship.. I'm into someone else, and i feel like I'm just going to hurt you more and more if i continue to go on like this." She lifted her head, eyes red and watery.

"Someone else..?" I nodded seeing her look even more hurt.

"I-"

"Jeongin." My heart stopped.

"W-what?" She shook her head after my response to the name she said, tears beginning to fall.

"Mina told me you were just using me to cover up the fact that you like a boy.. Jeongin." How the hell did Mina know that!?

"Look N-"

"Is it true?" She cried, face buried in her hands.

"I'm really sorry Nari..." She turned on her heels and opened the door, and just as she was going to leave, she turned to face me.

Then she darted out the door and out of the house.

-
Little did I know that very day was the last day I would have ever seen her.
-

Present

"A boy?" Minho asked.

"I didnt want to except the fact that I liked a boy, I just couldnt." Changbin sighed and faced me.

"There's nothing wrong with liking a boy Jinnie. Absolutely nothing." He smiled softly.

"Y-yes there is.. If he found out, he'll hurt me. He will beat me." This caused both boys to part away and look at each other in confusion.

"Who will Jinnie?"

A flash of his face appeared in my mind.

"Him.." I cried holding my knees.

"The boy you liked?" Minho asked.

Hyunjin shook his head and cried and cried.

-

After a while, the boys were able to get Hyunjin to stop crying.

They brought him home and told him to go lay down and rest while they went out to pick up some of his favorite foods and snacks and their dinner, since they had got distracted.

Hyunjin walked up the stairs, eyes puffy from crying and when he was about to enter his room, he saw y/n sitting criss crossed with his pillow.

His vision was a bit blurry from all the crying, but he was able to make out that y/ns cheeks were also puffier then usual.

"Y/n?" He called out.

She stood up walking towards him and immediately pulled him into a hug, holding him tightly.

He wrapped his arms around her and cried against her shoulder. Her shirt becoming a wet mess.

Y/n managed to get Hyunjin to follow her to the bed and he immediately layed on top of her, nuzzling his head into her chest, arms still wrapped around her, feeling the warmth of someone he is for sure falling in-love with.

-

Wowowowowoow

This hurt writing my bias like this 😭😭😭

SOOOOOO

now that we are further into the book, i wanna know...

How do you feel about Jisung?

How do you feel about Hyunjin?

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Any feelings towards the change?😂

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