My final stop before picking up Michael from the daycare was Erik's house. I was determined to remove anything of mine that wasn't related to painting, like clothes and a few books. The rest, I could come back and get another day, when I'd have more time. Erik wasn't home, and as I parked my car inside the garage, I could feel my shoulders relaxing slightly. I wasn't ready to see him yet. If I had my way, I wouldn't want to see him at all.

It wasn't that I didn't want to see him - I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to see him. But I didn't want him to stop me from what I was going to do. So with my ears peeled to the sound of the garage door opening, I hurriedly tidied up the studio. I was tossing the last of my things in paper bags when Olivia walked in.

"Hey, you," she said, giving me a quick hug. "I heard Erik stayed over last Saturday," she said and I could tell the excitement in her voice.

"It's not what you think, Olivia. He was only sitting for me. Here," I reached into my bag and pulled out two rolled-up sheets of pastel paper and handed them to her. "They're for him."

"Just sitting?" She teased, arching an eyebrow. "Are you sure that was all he did?"

I nodded, though I knew my face was burning. "I'm sure. I was there. Didn't he tell you?"

She shook her head, the elation fading from her face. "I was busy with the in-laws yesterday and when he got home after spending the night at your house, he went out for a run with Josh. I guess he got home pretty late after that. I thought maybe you two went out to dinner or something."

"No, we didn't," I said. "I have Michael by six on Sundays."

"You can always bring Michael here, Sam," she said. "He and Bella could play together."

"I know that. But I also don't want to bother you. You already have your hands full with your relatives as it is."

"Oh, stop it with the self-pity, Sam," Olivia scoffed. "Anyway, Bella is turning one on Friday. I'd love for you and Michael to come."

She handed me a pink envelope with embossed flowers on the front. On the back, she had written Sam & Michael. "Please say yes. The party starts at one. It's just going to be us and the in-laws."

Olivia had Erik's puppy dog eyes, and as she batted her eyelashes at me playfully, I couldn't help but laugh. How could I ever turn my back on Olivia, I thought. "I wouldn't miss it for the world."

She pulled me into a long embrace, something I still wasn't used to. But after so many hours spent with Olivia and her family, I'd gotten used to them to the point of needing them. It felt good to be held, and to feel wanted. I pulled away, laughing nervously. "I'm not used to hugs," I confessed.

"You best get used to it then, Sam," she smiled. "We're all notorious huggers here. Serial huggers, more like it."

She sat down on the futon, watching me collect the clothes and towels I had stored inside the closet. I tried to act nonchalant, but it was difficult with Olivia watching me.

"Aren't you painting today?" She asked as I placed the last of my clothes into a paper bag and left it by the door. Then I picked up the framed portrait, still wrapped in brown paper, and brought it towards her.

"Not today. I had errands to run and now I have to pick up Michael. But I came by to give you this. I had it framed over in Laguna Beach, and I hope you like it." The painting was heavy, but Olivia helped me lean it against the futon. "It's for you to keep, and if you don't like the frame, Reggie can reframe it at no charge," I said.

Olivia frowned. "I was hoping that Erik would be here when you'd unveil it."

I shrugged. "He has such weird hours that I can't base it on his time frame. But why don't I help you bring it over to your house and you can look at it there?"

"I have no easel," she said.

"Then view it here and we can bring it to your house with an easel. Everything in this studio belongs to Erik anyway," I untied the string but she stopped me.

"Sam, I'd rather look at it later, if you don't mind. No one has ever painted me before, and I think I should see this with my family around me. Don't you think so?"

I stopped unknotting the string and nodded. "You're right I'm sorry, Olivia. I'm just so excited to give it to you."

"Yet you don't look excited, Sam," she said, frowning. "Is everything okay? Did you and Erik have a falling out?"

"We haven't even fallen in," I said, chuckling drily. "Did he say that we did?"

"I haven't seen him long enough to talk to him," she said. "But to be honest with you, I think he likes you very much. He might even be in love with you."

I looked away, unable to see Olivia's eyes, nor let her see mine. "Anyway, I hope you don't take this personally, but I'd rather not be around when you see the finished painting," I said, pretending not to hear what she said. "I get really weird being around when people first see my work. I'd rather you unveil it without me and that way, if you don't like it-"

"I know I'll like it," Olivia said. She was watching me closely, her brow furrowing. "Why does it seem like you're breaking up with me, Sam? With Erik and me? Did we do anything wrong?"

I shook my head, laughing nervously. "No, I'm not breaking up with anyone. I just have errands to run today that I should have done last week," I said.

"If you say so," she said, though she didn't look convinced. "I just want you to know that I value our friendship very much. You're a good friend."

"You're a good friend, too," I said, wishing we wouldn't draw the moment out any more or I'd start crying.

The dogs barked outside and we heard Zia Francesca calling Olivia's name. "I gotta go," she said, hurrying to the door. "Bella is starting to walk on her own and she can get places so fast it's frightening. Erik calls her Speedy-Bella Gonzalez."

She stopped at the door and turned to look at me. "I can't wait to see you and Michael on Friday. Oh, and please don't bring anything. With a house full of Italians, we'll have enough food for weeks."

"Will Erik be there, too?" I asked, surprising even myself as the words came out of my mouth.

"Fridays are his long days at the clinic, but he said he'll try be home by six. And knowing the in-laws, I'm sure we'll all still be partying then," she said, laughing. "Better sharpen your bocce ball skills, Sam. It's going to be us against them."

I waited till I heard the side door to the garden shut behind her before loading up my things in the car and driving it out of the garage. I didn't know whether I was going to the party or not, although I also didn't want to disappoint Olivia. She was not Erik. And I actually did enjoy myself around her, her friendship reminding me what I was missing.

I returned to the studio, inspected the cupboards to make sure I didn't leave anything else. The brushes, canvasses and easels all belonged to Erik, though most of the paints were mine and were all in the trunk of the car. Satisfied that nothing that belonged to me was still in the studio, I then propped the two rolled sketches against the wall by the door.

Erik, These are for you.I wish you the best with everything. Thank you for believing in me and for giving me a safe place to paint. I'm giving you the paintings I finished, you can do with them however you wish. I can't keep them but I hope you'll understand why. I'm sorry for how things ended up between us, but I'm scared. - Sam

I hated admitting that I was scared to death over the things that were happening in my life. But if there was anything Erik deserved, it was the truth. I was done with the lying.

I folded the note and tucked it under the string I'd used to wrap around one of the sketches. Then I left the garage remote control and the keys to the side door on the counter and left, trying hard not to look back.

I still had to do some grocery shopping before picking up Michael from the daycare and did so for the next hour or so. There was also a stop at the computer store to check out prices for drawing tablets. I wanted to start doing digital art again and offering them up for sale. They always did well back then and I could always resurrect my old Facebook and DeviantArt pages.

The arrangement of roses was waiting for me by the front door. As Michael ran into his bedroom to play with his trains, I picked up the vase and placed it on the dining room table. I took deep breath and opened the note that had been written with his own hand, my heart beating fast.

What else could he say, I thought, that would make me change my mind?

Dearest Sam,  I'm scared, too. But I have to keep on trying. - Erik