Fleur POV

(picking up where we left off with her)

As Justin and I made our way into Saints and Sinners, my nose was immediately hit with the scent of liquor, smoke, and what is probably the smell of desperation. Once we were inside at the front door, my eyes couldn't help but wander in curiosity. The place looked cleaner than what I anticipated, but was filled to the brim with hefty looking men and scantily dressed women. It actually fit the image I had in my head for the most part. That, and Katie LeDoux's love for sharing pictures online.

Before we tried to make out way in further in search of anyone familiar, a wall stopped us. A living, breathing wall. If a grizzly bear were to ever take up a human form it would for sure be this guy. I had to strain my neck just to look at his face! Being an incredibly nervous person by nature, this man set my heart into overdrive and my mind into fight or flight mode (clearly I'm a flight person).

"You kids need to show some ID before I can let you in. It's protocol, I'm sure you understand," the bear-man says. He says it in such a nice but firm tone that I'm thrown off a bit. His voice does not match the rest of him and I suddenly feel bad for assuming he'd sound like a real prick. After mentally slapping myself in the face, I pull out my driver's license knowing it won't get me far since I'm not of drinking age. I still wanted to comply to show I'm not trying to start trouble. "Sorry, hun, but I can't let you in. There's an arcade, theater, and some shops open late in the town plaza if you're looking for a fun night."

As much as I'd love to turn around and head out in defeat, I have traveled 1300 miles and need to get answers. Then, maybe my mind can be put at ease and I can go back to worrying about normal stuff.

"I...um....I'm sorry, but I'm actually just looking for someone and was wondering if I could just take a quick peak and ask some questions if I do find them," I blurt out as quickly as possible before my nerves get the best of me and I start stumbling like a toddler. I may have said it a little louder than I hoped because I notice some people who were lingering in the front turn their heads our way. Just what I need, more attention. I feel my face heating up with this observation.

The skyscraper man let's out a small sigh and says "sorry, but I can't let you in. You're going to have to find whoever you're lookin' for outside of this place. Now I'm going to have to ask you to leave." Even though he's not being rude and just doing his job, I can't just go. I'm not sure what has gotten into me but I find myself irritated after telling us to leave.

"I really need to find them, please! I don't know where else I'd be able to find them and I know one of them has to be here." I sound desperate, and I'm guessing the people around who are listening think I'm some sort of clingy girl who is desperate to find my long lost lover. I take a deep breath and before the giant man can get a word in I say, "I just want to talk to Maxwell LeDoux if he's here. I really need to find him and I was told I could find him here," I lie. The whole time Justin has been silent but holding my hand and squeezing it when he senses my nerves pick up more. I really can't say enough how thankful I am that he's here as a friend...wait...a more than friend? I don't have time to think about that and mentally scold myself and get back to the present.

The large man looks at me with shock and a little panic. Did I say the wrong thing? Is he going to murder me now? Oh God, why did I do this? Why did mom and dad do this to me? If I die, I swear on everything I will haunt them. I'm busy with my internal battle that I almost don't notice the man call over someone else. A few seconds later, a kid walks up to him. What the hell?! This boy can't be much older than me. He's also wearing a leather vest. What's with them and these vests? It's cute I guess. The big man and the little boy turn away from me to have a conversation to themselves and not 20 seconds later does the boy make his way towards the back. The big man faces back towards me and let's me know to wait for a moment. He's looking at me in confusion. Maybe it's not everyday someone walks in asking for Maxwell LeDoux.

"How old is that boy?" I ask with my curiosity getting the best of me. If he isn't over 21 why is he allowed to wander the place while I have to wait up front?

"Not sure, maybe 19...20..." the large man says with a shrug and not a single ounce of care. 

With a little eye roll and huff I ask, "Why can he be inside and move around, but I can't? Isn't it against protocol?" Where the heck am I getting this confidence? It has to be the nerves and stress building up. Yeah, that's definitely it. 

The man mimics my eye roll and crosses his arms. "He works here and doesn't handle alcohol due to him being underage. Now stop talking and wait before I lose my patience with you, child." Okay now his tone is matching his stature. 

Gulp.

The confidence I had in me instantly fade after his words and I feel myself shrink back a little bit before I feel Justin grab my shoulders to face him and then he pulls me into a hug.

"Hey, you're doing great. It's gonna be alright. We will be out of here before you know it and you will have some answers, ok?" He whispers while squeezing me tighter. That helps me feel at ease and I squeeze him right back, grateful that I'm not alone, otherwise I probably would have started crying like a baby or something. After we hold on to each other for a few more seconds I pull myself away from him to face into the rest of the club. The people whose attention we had gained have mostly gone back to their own little worlds and I'm thankful. 

Even though I'm a little shorter than most of the population in this place, I still see slightly ahead of me. From the back of the place and where there are a few doors I see a group of heads heading this way and everyone parting for them like they are the sea and these heads are Moses. Whoever is heading up here is definitely at the top of the totem pole. Once again, I start to internally panic. Maybe the person who runs this place doesn't like people causing problems in the front and they are here to take care of the issue. Oh God...if this is my last night on earth I will die full of regrets. I haven't even had the chance to be intimate with a man and I might never be at this rate.

My thoughts, once again are shut off as the people from the back make it closer to the front and I can start making them out slightly. All men, all bulky, all wearing the vests. I guess I missed the memo, leather vests are in this season. 

Suddenly the men stop a short distance in front of me and I can make out the face of the one in the lead. His expression goes from annoyed to confused to shocked. I know who this is. This man is Maxwell LeDoux, my supposed biological father. I can tell from those eyes alone. The picture is old, but he looks the same and I can make out more features in the present. His hair has some grays now and it's shorter on the sides. It's so weird to be seeing him in person. I just learned about him a few weeks ago and here he is. I see someone from behind him move over to see what's in front of him, but my eyes are stuck on the man who helped create me. We've probably been staring at each other long enough and I'm certain the whole front is tuned in to see what's going on. I then hear someone next to him make a noise and it takes me out of the daze I'm in, and it looks like it did the same to him. With the rest of the confidence I have left in me I take a step towards him. 

I put my hand in pocket to grab the picture that I've kept there the entire trip and bring it out to face him. "Maxwell LeDoux?" I'm surprised my voice didn't waver and it gives me more strength to keep going. "My name is Fleur...Fleur Jackson, and I think you're my real father." As soon as I finish that sentence, the proof that everyone was listening comes out in waves of gasps. The man in front of me looks even more stunned than before. After I notice that I take the time to take a glance at the rest of the men beside him. They are all very well built men, some seem his age and some a little older than me. One in particular makes my gaze stop and linger on them for a second longer than the rest. 

He's slightly taller than all the men around him and incredibly built, just like most of the other men around him. His face, though...it's the most aesthetically pleasing face I've probably ever seen in my life. He has a strong jaw and dark eyes that you can get lost in. 

Wait, what the hell am I saying?!

I try my best to put my focus back on to the man next to him which happens to be the man I claimed to be my real dad. He still looks slightly shocked, but now with some agitation to it. That makes me feel a little uneasy so I put the picture back into my pocket and look down to the floor in uncertainty. I guess his lack of acknowledgment or even a word in my direction is an indication that they really didn't want me and coming to seek them out was probably the stupidest decision ever.

Lost in the doubts going around in my head, I don't notice a shadow make it's way to me. Once I look up I see it's him standing right in front of me, still holding on to his agitated demeanor. "Follow me," is all he says before I feel his hand grab my arm and starts making his way to the back with everyone clearing the way for him again. I try to keep up the pace even though his strides are much larger than mine and I hear men shuffling behind us. Probably his little posse or whatever following us to wherever he's taking me. As soon as we reach the back we are in front of a door. He is about to open it before he looks up to the men behind me and says, "Stay out. Tank...you stay guarding this door and the rest of you get the fuck to the front and make sure people aren't gossiping about this shit," he seethes. 

Am I the 'shit' he's referring to? 

I'm guessing the men behind me gave him physical affirmation because he then turns back to the room and guides me in. After pulling me in, he slams the door shut making me flinch and look up at him in worry that he's going to hurt me as well. I see a little bit of guilt in his eye, but it's quickly masked by frustration. I hardly have time to notice the room that looks like a private bar before he opens his mouth again.

"Who sent you here?!" he asks like he's interrogating someone. What the heck?! Why would he ask that? Does he think I'm some sort of spy? What is he into that he would think someone is a spy or something? I guess I took too long to respond because he opens his mouth again. "If you don't tell me who sent you, we'll just have to get you to talk the hard way," he threatens. I could shit in my pants right about now. This person in front of me couldn't be blood and that threat causes my heart to constrict and I can feel my eyes beginning to water. 

He must have noticed my reaction because the lines on his head and the furrow in his brows smooth out a bit. He then turns away and I can hear a sigh followed by him rubbing his face with his hands. Maybe he thinks this is a nightmare and is trying to wake up. I have to get this out before he gets angry again. So I take a deep breath and talk.

"I don't know what you mean, but...um...no one sent me." I am disappointed how cowardly I sound now, when just minutes ago I sounded like a strong, independent woman. "I just turned 18 a few weeks ago and my...well, my parents told me I was adopted and then gave me the picture and adoption information." I look up at him and see he's facing me again and listening intently so I decide to continue. "The papers indicate that I was born here in Broomfield and yours and Crystal's name were listed as the parents. I guess I was in foster care or something bec-"

"You said Crystal was listed as the mother?!" he cuts me off, stunned. I am amazed that I have gotten a full sentence from him that wasn't a threat and am momentarily speechless, so I nod instead of trying to talk. He then takes another deep breath and rubs his eyes. Why is he so shocked to hear her name? Maybe they had a falling out after getting rid of me and he can't bear to hear that name. I guess I should continue though.

"Um, yeah...anyway, I guess I was in foster care till I was three, but I was then adopted and taken to Oregon where I've lived since." Again he is just listening as if I have more to tell him, but I just have questions. Since it's silent I am guessing now is a better time than never to ask. I can feel the emotions making their way up and I can only hope to keep my composure. 

"I just came here to find you two so I can ask why..." I say with a small whimper at the end. Before I can continue I take a deep breath to try to tame those emotions with only a little luck. "Why did you guys give me...give me away-y?" I get out, but sob at the end. I cover my mouth to quiet the sob, but he's already very aware of what is going on. He doesn't say anything right away, but stares at me like a wounded dog. 

For a moment I close my eyes and take more deep breaths to try to mellow out, and I here movement from him. When I open my eyes I see him behind the bar grabbing a bottle of some sort of brown substance. I'm not too knowledgeable on what type of alcohol there are and what they look like, sue me. He wastes no time in taking a big gulp of whatever drink and slamming it hard on the counter, very much surprising me that it didn't shatter. He then takes another deep breath and heads back towards me in slow strides. My nerves getting more twisted the closer he comes. Is he going to attack me? Kick me out? I'm obviously not wanted whatsoever, so the quicker I get out of here, the better. 

As soon as he gets close to me I look down on the ground, not anticipating at all what he's going to do. Suddenly, a hand comes into my line of sight and under my chin, lifting it up so my sight is on his face. He looks broken now, like he's having his own internal battle just like mine, maybe a little more serious though. After a moment of just staring at the broken looking man I I start to feel more relaxed. His hand has left my chin, but it didn't feel bad being there at all. It was soft and delicate, just like my dad's back home. 

I was starting to feel a little less uneasy, till he said something that made me feel even more conflicted about the situation.

"I'm sorry...F-Fleur," he says, testing out my name. I feel a little flutter in my heart that he remembers it. "I will be one hundred percent honest with you because you deserve it." Now I'm worried I'm about to hear him say how they just didn't want kids, or me, or something equally as heartbreaking. "I never knew I had a child...I...I'm sorry I didn't know you existed till now..." 

Well fuck...is all my mind can think. Where the hell do I go from here?!

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Thanks for sticking around :) I promise there will be some drama and action and maybe a little steam heading this way.

Happy reading! 

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