Chapter 43

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"Hey," I say to Amanda and Tyler, sitting across from both of them in the booth at the diner.

"Hey babes, why did you want to see us?" Amanda asks curiously. Tyler doesn't say anything just looks down at his water like it is the most interesting thing ever.

"Well first, I want to apologize to both of you," I start, feeling guilty for making Tyler hide something from Amanda. I sigh before continuing, still unsure if I really want to do this, I know Tyler won't tell, "Amanda, I had Tyler keep something from you and that isn't fair so I am sorry to you for that, and Tyler I am sorry I even asked you to keep the secret to begin with."

"Sydney, it isn't a big deal, are you sure about this? Did you talk to. . ." He doesn't finish the sentence but I know he is asking if I talked to Matt. We talked about it on Friday and then again on Sunday on the drive home. He wanted to come today to talk too but he got held up at wrestling since it is a three day week and he has a match on Sunday.

"We talked and he said it is ok, so yeah I am sure." Tyler gives me a small nod as Amanda looks between us, "Do you want to start Ty and give the background?"

Tyler sits up clearing his throat and turning to Amanda, "So Friday when Matt came to visit during lunch, no one else noticed, but I saw him kiss Syd on the cheek. It was just a small simple cheek kiss, nothing crazy, but I promised to not say anything."

I pick up from there, "Tyler told me he saw us on our way to History so Friday night I told Matt and he said it was ok if you knew too. I haven't told Julia anything about this and for the time being I would really like it if we kept it that way."

Amanda reaches across the table grabbing my hand, "Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me, Syd. Where does that leave you and Matt now?"

"We are practice dating," I say but it really comes out like more of a question. Amanda and Tyler look confused so I explain, "We are pretty much dating without the title honestly. We both decided it was better if we waited until the season was over to date since he is busy literally all the time with school and wrestling. I would hate to be a distraction especially since Junior year is so important."

"Soooo are the rumors true about him?" Amanda asks quietly scooting in closer so no one around us can eavesdrop. I look at her confused as Tyler just shakes his head in disappointment. "You know S, the rumors that he never kisses girls during sex and is really rough."

I look at her making an O with my mouth. Ummm do I really want to expose my sex life in the middle of some Long Island diner to my two friends about a guy I am not even actually dating? Well I have no dignity or self respect anyways so why the hell not. "Well no, but also kinda yes to that last one? I don't know about other girls in the past but he definitely kissed me. As for rough, he wasn't at first, he was actually really gentle but I mean I know firsthand he can be if he wants to be."

"Alright fuck you two, can you at least wait until I go to the bathroom?" Tyler interrupts, faking a disgusted look. Amanda slaps his shoulder while I kick him under the table earning us each a middle finger in return.

"Well then leave, I need a few more details," Amanda tells him, pushing him out of the booth and off toward the bathroom. She moves to my side of the booth so we can talk softly and not tell the entire diner about how great Matt is in bed. "Alright well I know you've slept with him but when did that happen?"

"Halloween, we were dancing and next thing I know he is dragging me upstairs and we are, well you know." Amanda slaps me softly in excitement while I laugh and tell her more knowing her next question, "Also that morning I came in late, we also did it that morning but besides those two times we haven't had any alone time. But his birthday is Friday and I made sure we had time then."

"Aw that is so cute, so I guess he admitted to liking you?" Tyler comes back just as she asks the question and he looks at me, also waiting for an answer with Amanda.

"I mean he introduced me as his girlfriend to the Penn State wrestling team," I say casually like it is nothing. Tyler chokes on his water as Amanda hits him repeatedly, her eyes as big as saucers. I give him an apologetic look as he grabs her little wrists in his hands trying to stop her assault.

The waitress comes back as Tyler continues to restrain Amanda, she pulls her arms from him and looks at me, "Ah you will say more about that, but first let's order." We all order breakfast for dinner and laugh as we realize we did it all by accident.

"So his girlfriend," Tyler prys, giving me a suggestive look. Amanda has the same look on her face as they both stare me down. Before I can answer he stops me holding up a hand and looking at someone behind me with a surprised look. "Dude over here," he says to whoever he is looking at.

Matt slides into the booth next to me as I look at him in shocked confusion, "Hi?"

"I was driving home and saw you Jeep, I figured I would crash since you are here to talk about me." I can't help the smile on my face as I wrap my arms around his neck excited he came. "Did you guys order?"

"Yeah we just did, hold on," Amanda waves down our waitress so Matt can order. He ends up also getting breakfast but that may potentially be because I wanted an omelet and settled on the Nutella banana french toast, so I figured if he got that we could share meals.

"So what do they know?" he asks, putting his arm around my shoulder, pulling me close and kissing my head softly.

"Well sadly I nearly lost my dinner before I even got it," Tyler complains, banging his head against the table. Tyler lifts it back up looking around the table and adding, "Also congrats on the sex, I see it has made you more tolerable as a human."

"Wait that is valid, you're losing your edge Matt," Amanda adds while rubbing Tyler's forehead that he just banged on the table. Matt looks completely offended at the suggestion that he is losing his edge. He is, but you can't tell him that, in his head he is still the tough bad boy he always was.

"Like fucking hell I am," he snorts as our food comes. I don't even wait for Matt's permission, instead I just grab the extra plates putting one slice of french toast on it for him then grabbing another and putting half the omelet on it for myself. Amanda gives him a pointed look as I look up innocently nibbling on a Nutella covered banana. "This proves nothing."

We eat quietly, Amanda continually giving me looks the entire time we eat. When we are done Amanda points to my lips giggling and says, "You've got Nutella on your lip, Syd."

Matt grabs my chin with his hand turning my face toward him before leaning in and kissing the Nutella on my lip before sticking his tongue out to lick the rest off. I feel the goosebumps rising on my arms as he pulls back giving me a soft smile, "I got it."

"You should get going, you have a Physics quiz tomorrow and it is already 7:00," I remind Matt as he lets go of my chin and we move away a little. I am glad for the space as I feel like I am burning up from Matt's look and soft touch.

"Oh shit, that is tomorrow, we should go too," Amanda adds looking at Tyler who pulled out his phone during the Nutella clean up moment, probably as a distraction.

"Babe I need to run to the store for Lacrosse stuff. I need to get a new stick and I don't want to keep you, is there anyway someone else can drive you?" Amanda looks at me and I look at Matt knowing they live only a few blocks from each other.

"Well I think that look means I am taking you home Amanda," Matt leans back in his seat pretending to stretch but just out of the corner of my eye I see him subtly slip the waitress his credit card.

"I saw that Matt, stop it, you weren't even supposed to come. I will not let you pay for dinner," I protest, slapping Matt in the chest as he laughs.

"Well whatever, dinner is on me everyone." I groan and roll my eyes as Tyler and Amanda thank him. Tyler covers the tip and we all leave the diner and head to the cars. It is starting to snow a little and I realize I have never driven in the snow so I need to hurry home.

Amanda and Tyler walk to his car so Amanda can grab her stuff while Matt walks me to my car. "I am glad you came," I say before pressing my lips to his. He instinctively presses me up against my car holding my wrist pinned next to my head.

"I am too. Text me when you get home ok babe?" He kisses me one more time before opening my door and making sure I am in before shutting it again. He walks back to his Jeep where Amanda is standing already and gets in. I pull out of the parking lot and he follows for a few blocks, never rushing me even though I am driving a little slow. I honk and wave as he turns into their neighbor and I continue to my house.

Matt's P.O.V.

"Soooooo," I drag out not really knowing what to say to Amanda. I am really trying with Sydney's friends to make good impressions, especially since they're all very aware of who I was before her. I know they know the rumors, some of which are true and others which are not, but they don't know that and if they told Sydney any of them it's their word against mine.

"She isn't a game Matt, I hope you're serious and not just fucking around," she warns and I hear the protective edge to her voice. She is small and much weaker than I am but I don't think either of those facts would stop her from trying to do some damage if I were to hurt her friend.

I stop and realize how this all looks. I wonder if Sydney has thought this too, that I am using her. I make a mental note to call her later and make sure she knows but for now I need to reassure Amanda. "I swear I am serious. I will do anything to prove how serious I am about her."

"What changed?" she asks, causing me to laugh. God have I been wondering that a lot myself lately.

"I don't even know, I wish I understood it myself honestly." Amanda smiles and pats my arm, she looks like she knows something I don't and it leaves me confused so I try to find out what I am missing here, "What?"

"When you think about the future is she in it?" The question catches me by surprise. I mean yeah, lately she has been. I find myself daydreaming about her, about us. I have dreamed about everything from us both getting into Penn State to her being there when I win my first college national championship. I even caught myself picturing me proposing while Jason told me about him proposing to Maddie, but I pushed that one away, it is too soon to start thinking like that, it will just get me hurt.

Finally I realize I haven't answered Amanda who is still watching me, "She is. I have never thought about the future before, I always lived in the present and now it feels like time is moving too slow and I want to hurry up and get to the good part."

"Welcome to the club, you will never be the same," she says and I know what she means. I am not the same guy I was in September. Overall I am happier but there is also a dark side of it too that no one really talks about. I am nervous all the time especially when I know she is driving. I don't sleep as good when she isn't around because hearing her breathing brings me a level of peace I didn't know existed until October. My mood is suddenly linked to her's, and even if I am having the most amazing day, if she is upset my mood shifts instantly.

I pull up to Amanda's house and we sit in silence as my mind races about this new club I never asked to be a part of. I didn't wake up the first day of school and think hey I am going to walk in and run into a girl who is going to change my entire world. I didn't go to that party Friday thinking I would do anything but talk to her. I most definitely didn't think after that fight Saturday I was going to run after her and instead of yelling, I was going to end up in the bathroom while she cleans me up, and I watched her, praying that the cuts would keep bleeding just so she wouldn't stop. "What if I don't want to join the club?" I ask finally.

"You don't have a choice, you're already part of it. But it's ok, because there is one person who joined with you that totally gets it," I smile as Amanda talks, thinking about Sydney and I can't help but wonder which one of us joined the club first. "Night Matt."

"Night Amanda," I say as she gets out and closes the door. I make sure she makes it inside before I leave. When I finally pull up to my house I check my phone right away to make sure Sydney is home. She didn't text me, so I send her a question mark as I get out of the car, figuring maybe she just forgot.

"Hey bud," Celia greets, skipping inside with a big smile on her face.

I walk over and hug her, feeling a little hopeful, "So you had your doctor's appointment today right?" I know the answer but I felt like that was a better start than can you get knocked up.

"I did and it looks hopeful that this family in the not so distant future will be growing." I hug her tighter so relieved things went good today. I wonder if they're going to start trying right away. Ew, that means they're going to have sex, gross. Yeah, I will be moving into the Wallace's or the Rider's until it is safe to come back.

My dad walks in and I reach out for him to join our hug. "Should I get you Viagra for Christmas old man?" I tease, totally ruining what could have been a cute moment.

"Gross you asshole, go upstairs and go study. Also we all need to talk if we are going to try for a baby, both of us need to start pulling more weight around the house." I nod and give him a thumbs up before running upstairs and pulling my books out to study. I check my phone assuming the text I got during our family group hug was from Sydney.

I open my phone and realize it is a text from Tom asking for homework help. Sydney still hasn't answered me and she should definitely be home by now. I call her phone and anxiously pace around my room. On the third ring she picks up and I nearly collapse at the sound of her voice, "Hey sorry, I didn't mean to worry you, my dad wanted to drive around since I have never driven in the snow before."

"All good," I tell her while sitting down at my desk. I open my books as I listen to her on the other end opening and shutting drawers, no doubt getting changed into my T-shirt and some cute little underwear. I don't realize I am talking out loud till the words are already out, "I miss you."

"I miss you too, but just think Thursday, Friday, and part of Sunday you get to see me most of the day." I appreciate her trying to look at the upside but I could see her 6 days straight and still wake up on the 7th missing her. I know we had a pretty nice weekend but I feel like I never really got alone time with her.

"Friday will be fun," I say, trying to find the bright-side to keep her happy. She sounds like she is in a good mood and I don't want to ruin it. "Anyways, I will let you go Sydney."

"Wait, I was wondering if maybe you could drive me tomorrow? We are supposed to get more snow overnight and I don't have time to practice with my dad." I tap my desk in excitement as the thought of getting a little extra time with her tomorrow. Also a little relieved she isn't driving in the snow, everyone turns into an asshole when there is snow and she doesn't have enough experience as is.

"Of course, have you studied for Physics yet?" I ask, even though I know I should hang up and study on my own. My grades aren't slipping but I am way more tired and overwhelmed this year than years past. I know it's not all because of Sydney, part of it is my tougher course load and the fact I have colleges watching my every move; but the fact that I spend hours on the phone with her and use my weekends to be with her instead of catching up on things isn't helping.

"Matt, I want to talk too but go study quickly and go to bed, you need sleep or you won't be getting any on Friday." My breath catches in my throat at her comment and I have to slap my own chest to force myself to breathe again. Her sweet little laugh over the phone pulls me from my perverted thoughts as my mind runs wild with all of the birthday sex potential.

"Well now, I need to study and do. . . other things before bed, thank you so much." She is still laughing at what she accomplished, apparently quite proud of herself. Little brat, she gets me all worked up and then wants to hang up on me.

"Don't worry, you will be well taken care of, go study, we will talk later bye," she says before quickly hanging up. I throw my phone onto the bed away from me to limit distractions and get to work. It is nearly 10pm when I finish everything and grab my phone again before heading to the bathroom to shower.

As I turn the shower on I notice I have a number of Snapchats from Sydney so I open them while I walk to the closest to grab something to sleep in.

The first snap is just her laying in bed in my shirt and I smile at her new routine that involves my shirts. The second though is not so innocent. She is still laying in bed but this time my shirt is pulled up exposing her black lace bra. I look at the third and literally grab the wall for support. With each Snapchat another item of clothing comes off. I replay a few of them, wishing I could save them and keep them forever.

I decide as I walk into the bathroom that two can play this game and I slowly get undressed, each piece of clothing coming off for a new Snapchat. She answers quickly, sending back a picture in reply to each of mine. She sends me a video of herself and that's it; I close Snapchat and open FaceTime not being able to stand the wait between Snaps, I need her in real time.

She answers immediately propping her phone up so I can watch her play with herself. I don't even realize I am doing the same as I stand in the bathroom watching her, both of us breathing heavily at the sight of the other. I can't take my eyes off of her as her fingers move against herself, her lips parted slightly.

I finish first for once but that doesn't stop me from watching her finish herself off. She gets up when she is done running off to do something out of frame before coming back in the same shirt from earlier. I finally get in the shower, propping my phone up inside so we can keep talking.

"Wow, damn this FaceTime keeps getting better and better," she says as I turn around to shampoo my hair. I laugh knowing she is watching my back muscles flex as I run my hands through my hair. They have been her obsession lately so I purposely drag out washing my hair just a little for that reason.

"Who knew FaceTime could be so fun?" I turn back around and watch her snuggle into her bed as I finish showering. I wish she was here, or I was there, or we were anywhere else than in separate beds tonight.

She gives me a sassy look and says, "I told you before I hung up you'd be well taken care of." Yeah she did, but I absolutely didn't expect that to be what she meant.

When I get out of the shower we talk for a little bit longer before hanging up. I get into bed shortly after we say our good nights and try not to focus too much on how empty my bed feels. I wonder if we went to college together if we'd move in together? Then every night I could sleep with her and never feel this way. I shake the thought from my head as I try to fall asleep. Curse this stupid club. 

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Hope everyone had a fun Easter weekend! I have a busy next two weeks as classes come

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