Chapter 29

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I wake up the next morning to the sun in my face. Last night when I closed the blinds, I must not have closed them all the way because a small sliver of light is shining right in my face. I groan, flipping over away from Matt so I am facing the wall. "Noooo come back, I was comfy," he says, still half asleep. His voice in the morning is so hot, it is slightly deeper and softer than his normal voice.

"No, the sun is in my face," I whine, snuggling back into the blankets.

"Fine," he huffs, rolling over and snuggling into my back, softly kissing the base of my neck. I giggle and wiggle against him trying to get closer. Suddenly he grabs me, holding me still, taking in a sharp breath. I am about to ask what is wrong when my eyes go big and I realize the issue.

I can feel his boner pressed up against me, and it's big. I mean, not the big every porn director is looking for; you know the type that makes you go, "Holy shit, you want that to go where?!?" But the respectable type that's satisfying but definitely not overwhelming. Not that I want to be satisfied by Matt or anything like that.

I giggle a little and he groans rolling onto his back covering his face. I can see he is red, clearly embarrassed. "Wow this is embarrassing, I can't help what he does!" I decide to embarrass him just a little more.

I grab the blanket and lift it up, Matt moves his arms covering his face and looks at me confused. I peek under the blanket, looking directly at his crotch and say, "Good morning buddy! Did you sleep good!?"

Matt instantly freaks out grabbing the blanket and pulling it down, while pulling me away from where I was just looking. "God what the fuck! Don't converse with him! You weirdo!" I laugh and flip onto my stomach, propping myself on my forearms and looking at Matt who is redder than a tomato. "Yes?"

"Good morning," I sing, quite proud of how much I embarrassed him. He is always so confident and bold, it is fun to mess with him. I begin running my finger along his left arm which is free of any ink, unlike his right which is completely covered. "Do you want more?"

He puts his right arm behind his head so he can look at me and then looks at his unmarked left arm. "Eventually, I want to do something different with my left arm, instead of one big piece I'd like to do a bunch of little things that all mean something. Also would love one on my side or something." I nod, still running my finger up and down his bicep.

"What does your inner wrist say?" I have been wondering since that day in the hall when Matt was holding me back from beating Asher. He smiles and sits up a little moving his arm so I can look at it. I move next to him so I can read it. In shaky writing his wrist reads, 'You can totally do this'. I trace it, goosebumps appearing under my fingers. "Why that?"

He pulls his arm around me pulling me into his side a little as we both rest against the headboard. I lean my head on his shoulder continuing to trace his tattoo. "On my 16th birthday, my dad gave me a card my mom wrote. She knew she wouldn't be around for a lot of things, so she wrote a bunch of cards my dad keeps in a fireproof safe to give me over time. The last line on the card was 'I know things aren't always easy, but I know in my heart that you can totally do this.' I had already convinced my dad to let me get the whole sleeve so I just added the quote in."

"That is really cool, do you know any others she wrote?" I look up at him and I can see a softer look in his eyes than I have ever seen before. I don't want to push too far but from the smile he gets as I ask more questions I get the feeling he wants to talk about her, he just never has anyone to do it with.

"She wrote one for my first day of high school, college move in, my 16th birthday, my 18th, my 21st, when I get engaged, when I get married, my first kid, and others, but I don't know all of them." I move a little so I am laying on his lap, my chin resting on his stomach and my arms propping me up on either side of his legs. His left arm is now behind his head while his right is in front of me so I can continue to trace it.

"Do you like getting them?"

"I do and I don't. I wish she was here instead but it is still nice to get something from her. Now while on the topic, want to help me make some pancakes?" I jump up and off his bed while he gets up and stretches. "Grab Con and feed him and I will let Malcolm out? I'll meet you in the kitchen in a few?" I nod and we both do what we need to do before meeting in the kitchen.

"Ok, what kind of pancakes do you like," Matt asks while pulling out bowls and pans and other things needed for pancakes. I place Conor down and help him grab things while thinking.

"Hmmm, of course chocolate chip. Nutella, obviously. Banana. M&M. Cinnamon swirl. Sprinkles. Ummmm I could think of more if you give me a second." Matt laughs and begins pulling out Nutella, chocolate chips, M&Ms, and bananas.

"I think we have enough options but maybe on a different Sunday we can do different ones."

"Ok! So how did you guys do it when you were little?" Matt smiles and pulls out his phone.

"First we need music, good music too. She had the best taste in music ever. I have a playlist of all her favorite songs and it is completely unmatched." The music starts playing out of the speaker on the kitchen counter, I immediately recognize it is "All the Small Things" by Blink-182.

"Such a good song! What's next?" I am jumping around to the music totally excited. Excited about the music, excited about the pancakes, and excited that Matt is letting me do something with him that was once so special for him and his mom.

"Ok, next is to make the pancakes. We can make a couple different bowls so each one can be a different kind." I give him a thumbs up, mouthing the words to the song and jumping around him dancing. He smiles and grabs a few more bowls so we can start making the pancakes.

I start mixing mine and Matt starts putting a few on the stove while adding some chocolate chips. "Hey make room, I want to add mine too!" He hands me a different pan and my own spatula so I can make mine. I make one really big one and add a ton of Bananas. "Do you want one too," I ask while flipping the pancake.

"Banana? Sure, give me some naners." I laugh and slide the first one onto a plate before making another massive pancake. Matt laughs at my huge pancakes, judging them while he makes normal sized perfect pancakes like a normal person. How boring.

I start making the Nutella pancakes, also making them obnoxious in size; just because I can. Matt starts the M&Ms at the same time, making cute little designs in the pancakes. One has an S, one a B, another a C; there is a smiley face, a heart, and one that says Mom in all colorful M&Ms. I look at it trying to not cry, I pull myself together and hug Matt. He hugs me back not saying a word, but the thing I know most about us is we don't need to talk. He flips the pancakes, one arm still holding me as I continue to hug him. Finally he speaks and says, "I think your ridiculous sized pancakes are done, better get them off before they burn."

Once all the pancakes are done, we grab them, some butter, some syrup, and sit at the table. I load up my plate with one of each of my massive pancakes and two of each of Matt's smaller ones. "God how are you so small, you eat almost as much as I do!" I laugh, drowning them in syrup and digging in.

Matt also stacks up his plate but unlike me ends up finishing all his pancakes. I, on the other hand, nearly puke from all the sugar and pancakes and need to tap out 2/3rds of the way in. Matt teases me as I lay across two of the chairs bitching about how full I am. "Stop being mean! I am unwell here!"

"Ok well it is almost 11am and you said you wanted to be home by 1pm, so I think you should get well and we should start cleaning up this disaster of a house." I sit up and look at the kitchen which was already a little messy from yesterday, but after this morning is completely destroyed. The living room and Matt's room I know are no better and I fall back onto the seat groaning.

"Go on without me. Leave me here to wither away in my food coma." Matt grabs my hand, pulling me up and pushing me toward the kitchen.

"Nope, sorry Barbie, but that is not how this works, we are doing this together." I protest but begin cleaning with Matt. We continue to listen to his mom's playlist and multiple times he has to tell me to stop singing and dancing and get back to cleaning. We finally finish downstairs and go upstairs to get dressed and clean up his room.

At a little before 12:30, I sit on the couch, finally completely done. "Wow, we really made such a mess," I laugh as Matt puts away the last of his clothing that spent all weekend sitting in a hamper in the corner of his room.

"We did, but it is all clean now which is perfect because my parents just texted they would be home in a little bit.

"Mine too, I should get going." I slowly get up not really wanting to leave but knowing I need to. All morning I have had the nagging question of what is going on between us, but I am scared to ask. I grab my bag and Conor, who I am taking for the night because Matt let me stay over all weekend.

Matt takes both from me and walks me out to the car, putting in the car seat for me. "Well, I had a fun weekend. See you tomorrow?"

"Yup, see you tomorrow," I say, getting into my car while Matt walks back inside. I watch him walk back in but don't start the car yet. I wish I just knew what was going on between us.

Matt's P.O.V

I shut the door and lean back against it. What the fucking is going on between her and I? I should have asked. I also should have kissed her. God, why is this all so complicated!? Fuck, I know she hasn't left yet, she hasn't even started her car. I should do it, I should go and kiss her.

I turn around, hand on the handle ready to open the front door, but I stop. What if that isn't what she wants? What if this was all out of pity? She pities me because I am the kid with the dead mom. No, no that isn't it at all. Head, shut up for 30 seconds will you?

I look down at my tattoo, my mom's words in her handwriting being the final push I need. I pull the door open and march out to the car. I pull her door open and she gasps surprised. Before I can stop myself I lean into the car and kiss her. I need her to know that she means something to me but I am shit with words so this will have to do.

She wraps her arms around my neck and pulls me closer. I reach down and unbuckle her seatbelt before grabbing her and pulling her so she is half out of the car and I can stand more comfortably. I love how soft her lips are and how perfectly they move with mine. The kiss is slow and soft, something I am not quite used to.

Eventually I pull away and look at her in the eyes, the words basically falling out of my mouth. "I don't know what is going on with us or where we stand, but you're the first person I have let in in 10 years and I don't want to mess it up."

Her hand touches my cheek and she smiles. I don't really know what the smile means but I pray it is a good thing. "Let's not label it or try to define it; let's just keep doing what we are doing and let the rest happen naturally. We will figure it out together over time."

"Like keep doing this," I ask a little confused gesturing between us. "Kind of like friends with benefits?"

She laughs and shakes her head, letting her wavy hair fall into her face a little. "What did I just say about labels, Matt!" I blush and look down but she kisses me causing me to look back at her. "But yes, like that but if something changes we will take it from there. Your friendship matters most to me but I also don't mind more of...this." She also gestures between us and I can't help the smile on my face.

"Fair. Well, I will let you go, bye Sydney." I lean in and kiss her one more time before letting go of her and shutting her car door, because if I don't we'll be here all day.

She starts her car and rolls her window down. Something that has kind of become our thing, along with our many other things. "Thank you for the weekend Matt. By the way, I always wanted to know if Satan was a good kisser, I guess now I have my answer." Before I can ask if that is a good thing or bad thing, she rolls her window up and pulls out of the driveway, driving off.

I turn around and head back in, shutting the door behind me this time with much more clarity than the first. Malcolm comes over with a ball and I decide to take him into the yard to play. "Come on buddy, let's play before Dad has to catch up on all the homework he didn't do this weekend."

We play in the yard for about 5 minutes before my parents open the back door and come join me on the patio. "Hi sweetheart, how was your weekend?" I walk over and give them both a big hug and a kiss.

"It was good Mom, just hung around here all weekend." They both smile and lean down to pet Malcolm who is bounding around trying to get their attention.

"I am going to make lunch, you want," my dad asks and I nod.

He heads inside and I stay out with Malcolm and Celia. She tells me all about their romantic trip away and I can't help my mind wandering to me taking Sydney away. Maybe one weekend I can take her to the city. She wanted to go to the restaurant with Julia and I lied and made up some bullshit about the dessert, but really I just wanted to take her myself.

When lunch is ready we head inside and sit at the table in our normal spots. "So, I saw all the food was gone, who did you have over this weekend?" My dad is trying to pretend he doesn't care but I know if it was my usual friends he would have a comment to make.

"Well remember I told you guys we had our stupid baby project this weekend? Well turns out the school upgraded from flour to those baby doll things; so Sydney spent most of the weekend here and her friends who are also in our class came over yesterday for dinner." They both look at me with those stupid grins. Ever since the first time I brought her around they always make comments when I talk about her.

"When you say you spent most of the weekend here, do you mean she slept over," Celia pries as the excitement she is trying to hide slowly grows.

"Yes, she slept here. Her parents were away so she stayed Friday and Saturday."

"Oh well I should go change the sheets in the guest room after this." I can see she is already about to burst with excitement. They both really like her. But I wonder if telling them she slept in my room will ruin them letting her sleep over in the future.

"Ummm, actually, she slept in my room." Both of them pause eating and look at me.

"Matt, you didn't," my dad says, giving me a look mixed between horror and worry.

"Actually, I didn't. We just...cuddled? It was kinda weird, not at all what I normally do." They go back to eating but look over at each other with smug looks on their faces. "Also, I told her about mom."

Both of them drop their forks mid air, their heads quickly snapping up to look at me, their eyes nearly bugging out of their heads. They are both silent staring at me in shock. "How did it go?" my dad asks first.

"Good," I say. "It felt good to have someone to talk to besides you two. We talked about you too, Mom. I told her the story of when you went away and I cried so much you had to come back early." Celia smiles and I reach my hand out across the table putting it on hers. I sometimes feel bad bringing up my mom in front of her even though she always brings her up and tries to get me to talk about her more. I don't know, I just want to make sure Celia always knows I love her and I always talk about her because she is also my mom.

"I am so proud of you Matty, I am glad you met her and are opening up." Celia is nearly beaming with pride and I see her eyes getting watery. My dad pats my shoulder smiling at me. I know we both struggle with opening up even to each other, but I know he is glad I am not so closed off anymore.

We all go back to eating in silence for a little bit before a question pops into my head. "Why didn't you guys ever have more kids," I ask randomly. I guess all weekend with the pretend baby got me curious. I mean, they're both great parents, why not have one together that is theirs? I mean, I know Celia loves me like a mom, but she would be great with a baby.

"Oh, well when we first moved out here we thought about it," my dad says.

"But?"

"But we were happy and you were happy more than you were sad finally and making friends. We didn't want you to feel displaced by us having a baby. We already made you move from where you lived with your mom and leave all your friends." I feel a little guilty, mostly because they were right. Back then I probably wouldn't have handled it, but hey, maybe it isn't too late?

"What about now? Is it still on the table?" I look at both of them, hoping I didn't ruin their chance. I mean, they're still young, they could easily have a kid now. That kid would be so fucking lucky too. They are the best parents and I probably don't tell them enough myself but they are.

"Well," Celia looks at dad.

"Seriously? Are we really as a family talking about having a baby?" He sounds surprised and I don't know if it is a good or bad reaction.

"Maybe? I mean I don't know if at 37 it would be possible but maybe?" My dad's surprised face turns into a huge smile and I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.

"Matt are you sure? You have to be 100% sure about this before we even consider seeing if it is even possible." They both turn to me and I look at them. They have given me the world and I know I haven't made life easy. I want them to have a baby. I take a minute to seriously think even though I know the answer already.

"I am 100% sure, Dad. You two are the best parents, and I know this would have been more ideal to tell you years ago, but hopefully I didn't say this too late?" I see Celia's eyes watering and get up walking over to her and hugging her. "You are a great Mom and I won't mind sharing you. As long as that kid knows who Mom's favorite is." The tears spill over as she hugs me back. My dad comes over and joins us.

"Well, I guess the Deans are trying for a baby," Celia says laughing and wiping her tears.

"I would just like to say it now, congrats on the future sex you two." Both of them yell, my dad pushing my head and Celia slapping my arm. I laugh but think about the possibility of next year there being a baby here with us. It kinda sounds awesome actually.

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Last upload of the week hope you guys enjoyed all 5 chapters! Your comments and messages have been so sweet I am so thankful for all of you! Have a great weekend chapter 30 is coming to you all Monday and well....it isn't as soft as the last few but you will all definitely enjoy it. 

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