Ch. 52

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I don't know what to say to him. Seeing Maddox go from panic to relief was an eye opener. As much as mine and Tyler's relationship is uncertain and I'm truly heartbroken over it, I need to reassure Maddox that our future is solid, that we'll be the family he so desperately wants and needs.

"Maddox, I was never choosing Tyler over you. I'm so sorry you felt like that. I just didn't want to see you so unhappy. Our relationship was filled with arguing and fighting which needs to end. We have more than each other to think about and we have a lot to talk about. I want this to work. I want our baby to have both its parents. I will fight for you and our child just as hard as you are willing to."

"Will you marry me?"

"Maddox, we don't have to rush everything! Plus, we have a lot to deal with as it is."

"Please, just say yes. Be my fiancée for as long as you want but.... be mine."

"Let's talk about things first, then I'll decide. I have a few things that I won't negotiate on and I want both of us going into this with our eyes wide open." I say, seriously.

"Anything you want, it's yours." He states.

"No more fighting. I don't want our child to think its ok to settle everything with his fists."

"I agree. I'd never want that." He agrees.

"I can understand and even accept cautious and protective Maddox. He makes me feel loved and cherished. But obsessive and possessive Maddox, is smothering and downright disrespectful. I won't be treated like that anymore."

"It's hard for me sometimes." He says, running his hand through his hair.

"Tell me why it's so hard. What makes you struggle with this?" I ask, not having the slightest clue.

He comes over and sits on the couch and pulls me to him resting his head on my stomach lightly. "I'm terrified something will happen to you. I'm scared you'll leave me all the time because I don't deserve you. Every guy wants you and all of them are better than me." He confesses.

I run my hand around his head. "That's not true and I don't think that." I say quietly.

"Everyone else does."

"So? What I think is the only opinion that matters. I love you."

"I love you, too. Just be patient with me. Tell me when I'm getting to be too much. I'm still learning how this works."

"Instead of getting quiet or mad you need to talk about what's bothering you. I can't keep guessing, I'm always wrong. I need you to know that I do love Tyler, he makes me feel comfortable and he's a great friend and has always been there for me. I feel horrible hurting him in any way, he doesn't deserve it. But my love for you is different, it's deeper and it's consuming. I will never love anyone as much as I love you. Please don't make me ever try. Please work on yourself for all three of us, we're going to need you. A calm and secure husband and father. If you can do this, then I'll marry you."

I see him lift his head and look at me with his happy, content expression, the same one as yesterday when he found out I was pregnant. I think he's getting it and I smile back at him.

"What do you want to do today?" He asks.

"I have to meet Alex for lunch. I told him I would hear him out." I say, with annoyance.

"Are you going to tell him you're pregnant?"

"If he doesn't listen to me then yes, I'll tell him. Are you okay with that?"

He laughs, "Are you kidding? I want to see the look on his face. I want to tell everyone we see."

"Give him a break, he's just confused. Please, don't tell anyone else. I just hope it doesn't get back to Uncle John, especially after you announced it to the whole house."

"I really am so sorry."

"Why did you kiss Lauren?" I ask.

"I didn't. I swear she started kissing me when I was passed out and I started kissing her back thinking it was you. When I opened my eyes, I pushed her off of me."

"Your head was in her lap when we were in the living room."

"I had no idea. I pushed her off and rolled over going back to sleep. I didn't put my head there. I know I wouldn't do that. I was pissed at her for kissing me, ask anyone that saw it. You have to believe me." He begs.

"Have you slept with or kissed anyone after we fought or broke up?" I ask, timidly.

"Hell no, Hadley. Are you serious?" He yells, annoyed.

"Yes, I thought maybe you had after what Lauren told me and everything."

"What did Lauren tell you?"

"She said that you were done with me and you made out with her."

"I swear on our child, I never said or did anything with her that night that I was aware of. When I saw it was her, I pushed her off." He says, honestly.

"I don't want it to be weird. I know she's like family, but how are we supposed to be friends? I don't like her."

"I don't blame you. I completely understand." He assures me.

"It's nine, I should get in the shower and get dressed. What are you going to do today?"

"Honestly? Probably look up baby names." He says, smiling.

"Dork."

"Yep. I should tell you though I'm taking a shower with you first." He says, huskily.

He kisses my belly and then the inside of my thigh. He growls, "I don't have to wear a condom." He stands up quickly and picks me up bridal style and carries me to the bathroom fulfilling every promise his eyes made.

********************************

I call Alex and he wants to meet at a café downtown. I take Maddox's car and drive to meet him. When I park, I get out and see him sitting at one of the outside tables. I give him a smile and a small wave. I meet up with him and he stands up hugging me and kissing my cheek.

"You look beautiful." He says.

I blush. "Thank you. You haven't been waiting long have you?"

"No, like five minutes. I left early, I was excited to see you." He answers.

"Alex." I say, uncomfortably.

"Sorry. I was just being honest."

I nod my head in understanding and wait for him to start the conversation I'm dreading to have.

"I want you to give me a shot, Hadley, one shot to be with you. A date, anything, I just can't let you go without one try."

"Alex, I'm still with Maddox." I say, sheepishly.

"Again! What the hell! That guy has more lives than a cat. Why do you keep going back to him?"

"I love him."

"Sometimes love isn't enough. You guys are awful together. Every day is something else you're fighting over. Can't you see you're only hurting yourself by staying with him?"

"Alex, I have to make this work with him. I want him, he's my forever."

Alex sucks in a breath looking sick. "You could have anyone, why him? He's not good enough." He states, shaking his head.

"There are a million reasons but the only one that matters is that I am totally in love with him."

He puts his face in his hands then pulls them away looking at me full of sorrow. "I'll wait for you."

"Alex, no." I lick my dry lips. "I'm having his baby. I'm pregnant." I whisper.

"That's why you're staying with him, isn't it?" I asks.

"Not the only reason, Alex." I say, frustrated.

"I can take care of you better than he can. I can take care of both of you." He replies, looking hopeful.

"I'm staying with Maddox." I respond, my voice hard. "It's his child, do you get that? It's not about whose better, it's not a choice for me to make, it's all ready been decided."

"What if it doesn't work out, Hadley? I mean, it hasn't so far."

"I'm not going to think about that. I'm going to look at this as optimistically as I can. With all the faith and hope that I have that we can make it."

"Why weren't you safe? Were you trying to get pregnant?" Alex asks. Not maliciously but with genuine curiosity.

"No! Definitely not. It just happened."

He takes a deep breath and lets it out, drumming his fingers on the table. "I love you. But I get it. I'll leave you alone. I'll-...try to move on." He states. I know he sees the relief in my eyes because he looks away.

"You'll find someone to make you very happy one day, just like I did." I say, reassuringly.

"Yeah." He scoffs.

"You'll see." I say, knowingly. Alex is a great guy he has a lot to choose from. He'll find someone I have no doubt, he'll be happy. I smile thinking about it and laugh at his confused expression.

"What?" He asks trying to hide his grin.

"Oh, nothing. I just know for fact that you'll find your true love and that I'm going to be there to rub your nose in it."

"Well at least one of us is sure." He replies, losing his smile and frowning at the table.

"I better get going. Tell Chris to call me later. I'm not sure if I want to start telling people yet, but I understand if you don't want to keep this from him. He's going to blow up when he finds out you knew before him." I joke, trying to lighten the mood.

"I won't tell him." He says, still looking at the table.

I glance at him, not really knowing what to do. "Goodbye, Alex."

"Bye, Hadley." I wait for him to look at me but when he doesn't, I turn to walk away and head back to the car, thankful this is over.

I drive back to Maddox's house and since he told me the code, which is my birthday, I type it in and head up. I hear my phone ding that I have a message. I open the message and see a text from Maddox. I LIKE THE NAME BLAKE FOR A BOY AND HARPER FOR A GIRL....WHAT DO YOU THINK?

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