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Love You Goodbye by 1D

"Sky-Blu, honey." My mom whispered gently. I got startled and shook myself awake. "What the hell, Mom!" I yelled in a hushed voice. It was still dark out and I'm not in the mood right now to deal with anything or anyone.

"Your language young woman!" She scolded me like I'd never cussed before in front of her. I didn't pay much attention to her. "What do you want?" I whined just wanting my duvet to suffocate me and hide me from the outside world.

My mom started talking, but she was cut off by a familiar voice. A husky, rich beautiful voice I'd become pretty fond of. He sat in the chair across from my bed, staring me down. The moonlight splashed on his delicate face giving me a glimpse.

"Can you leave?" Matthew requested my mother in a rude/polite tone. She just huffed and walked out shutting my door.

"That was disrespectful." I said to him as I sat up. His gray eyes piercing into mine ignoring my comment made to mock him of the words he used with me yesterday.

"First off, she isn't my mother. Second, I didn't come to fight, so you can lose the bitchy attitude." He said and I scoffed at him.

"Are you seriously calling me a bitch!" I asked him and he sighed running his hand along his face. "Blu, shut up for just one second instead of picking a fight with me. I'm all for one if that's what you want, but I'm just tired and I did what you asked. I calmed the fuck down and came to talk to you." He said making me pipe down and come to some sense.

"What do you want?" I huffed, whilst mumbling. "I honestly don't know, I just wanted to see you. I shouldn't have to apologize for shit you started. You should've called me to come get you instead of him. You know he has a crush on you, yet you call him. Anything could've happened." He said making me burn inside.

"I started? First, you fucking flirted with another girl in my face, which I let go! It's all my fault for just trying something new and you being a debby downer, telling me the consequences! I'm not five Matthew. You are not my boss, yet you don't allow me to do anything I want." I said and he shook his head, laughing at me.

"Blu, for the last fucking time I didn't flirt with her. You don't know the half of it. Now I remember why I don't date. I can't deal with anybody's bullshit!" He spoke fuming making my breath catch in my throat. That one stung like hell, I wish I had the might to say something equally as hurtful, but I just want to cry alone.

"Get the fuck out of my room!" I yelled and he got out of the chair and walked out. I groaned and awaited the tears arrival.

I sighed and heaved. There was no coming back. I've never felt this before. I really cared about him.

   Matthew

Hearing her sobs broke me inside, but I was to stubborn to admit it. I will not walk in that room and try to make this right. I had my first girlfriend and lost her in two weeks. I have a wall and it's not fucking coming down. It's just that simple.

I heard her mothers footsteps behind me and I sighed stepping away from her bedroom door. "What did you do to my baby?" She exclaimed and I stepped in front of Blu's door just as her mother was reaching for the knob.

"It's a long story Mrs.Spar-Waters, but just give her some time alone. Don't bother her." I said sounding extremely idiotic. This is her daughter.

"Get out of my house!" She yelled at me. I spoke under my breath. "You don't have to ask me twice." I stepped down each step until I was in my truck and pass the security gates.

I sat in silence until I felt my hands blistering from gripping the steering wheel so tight. Wetness was surfacing on my cheeks, and I didn't realize I was crying until I caught one on my hand.

Matthew Summer's doesn't cry over chicks.

That's the thing, she wasn't just some chick. She meant the world to you, but you throw away everything and push it as far away as possible. My conscious was screwing with me. I knew good and well that Blu was too good for me. I let my selfishness take over. I'm doing the right thing by just walking away.

I pulled into my mothers driveway and her only light on was in the kitchen. I didn't knock and I regret it everyday.

My mother laid sprawled out with a liquor bottle in her limp hands. Her makeup dried and caked on her dreadful face. I hated when she got like this. I begged her for over two years to quit, and in April I got her to start a rehab program.

It worked. She was clean for months, but I guess the beginning of August was to long away from the sinful juices.

I shook her shoulder and she sprung awake. I could tell she was startled and clearly drunk. Her bloodshot eyes gave her away.

"What is this Theresa?" I asked her. The name mother, mum etc. had to be earned.

"Oh baby, nothing. I was just getting a little lonely around here." She said and I shook my head in disbelief.

"Alcohol doesn't make you less lonely. It makes you sad and wish you never existed. It doesn't help, it only makes you push people away. I should know." I yelled and grabbed the bottle smashing it in front of her.

"Matthew, dear please let me explain!" She pleaded with me.

"There is nothing to explain. My best wishes to you Theresa. I hope you have fun with your lowlife. You need help, and obviously I'm not it." I spat at her and left, slamming her front door.

The venom spread through my veins. I'm so fucking sick of this shit. I help and help, but I get no shit in return.

I drove back to the cabin and checked my calendar. My real car won't be ready into school if my calculations are correct. School. Time to trade in summer for my orange jumpsuit.

    Blu

I did my makeup expertly along with the picking of my outfit. I wore a long cardigan and a tank top. I put on my shorts, dress code doesn't apply in 12th grade, thank the Lord. I put my hair in a half up down bun. My hipster look was complete for the day.

Mom had my breakfast ready downstairs along with my coffee. She's a lifesaver and has actually been understanding these last few days as I wallowed in my room trying to forget what I call life. She forced me to at least go to school today, but if I get flustered she said I could excuse myself and come home.

I reluctantly cranked my car. His smell still lingered even though it had been weeks since he's been in my car. I almost shed a tear at the thought of our hangouts.

I reminded myself my goal was to make it through the whole day without thinking about him.

I pulled up outside Soplas Hills High, and I was swarmed by my normal group of friends. Listening to their endless summer stories made me sick. They'd run if I told them who I'd spent mine with. They questioned my non appearance to all their functions (party's,gatherings, etc.). I told them I was just really busy and spent a lot of time out of town, which wasn't a lie. Matthew was my vacation, that I'd started to love more and more.

I was emptying my bags and storing my books when I looked through my mirror in my locker and sure enough his locker was diagonal from mine on the other side of the hallway.

His hair was tousled and his eyes had deep, dark circles underneath them. He looked just as heartbroken as me.

That warmed my heart in so many ways. I at least know he cares for me genuinely. I tried to catch another glimpse, but when I raised my head. He was gone and out of sight.

I'm helpless. I want him.

I walked to my AP Calculus with at least five tons of books weighing down my little body. I could feel them slipping, but just as they were falling a hand grabbed them all and put them back straight up near my chest.

I looked up into two, mysterious gray eyes. The ones I'd confessed my deepest secrets too. He just stared back and walked into the same class I was headed for.

Good, there were three empty seats and one beside Jack. I slid into the seat and not to my surprise Matthew sat right behind me. He didn't say a word just watched. I could feel his eyes.

I kept my head forward, because if I had to face him one more time today it would definitely be the end of me.

"How was your weekend? I'm really sorry about dinner by the way. I didn't think any of that would happen." I said and he shook his head.

"It's all good, now you owe me a retrial." He said and I laughed at him.

"No I don't owe you anything. It was lovely, but I don't want a repeat of it." I said and I could sense Matthew smiling behind me. I can't deny the fact that he's the only person I want to go on dates with.

"Oh okay, well maybe we could do something a little less intimidating." He said making me want to punch him for not taking the subtle hint. Thankfully, the teacher started his introduction speech and read our syllabus.

I walked speedily to get out of that class, but just as I was out the door an arm grabbed a hold of me and pulled me to a secluded hallway away from everyone. Just me and him.

****

Notes-

Aww poor baby, I feel terrible that Matthew's mom is so messed up...it hasn't helped him to live this way with such a messed up family, but at least he has Blu...maybe.

Keep reading to find out.

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-L xo