Chapter Thirty-Nine: Wasting Away

Background color
Font
Font size
Line height

20th of March 1533 - Ragley Hall

"Maria? There is something that I must discuss with you," Ippolito stated setting down his knife and fork, a frown set upon his face and his eyes focused on his wife knowing that he could not allow her to continue this way. 

In the days since the news had arrived that the Queen was with child again, he had noticed how little she seemed to eat and his worry consumed him at the fact that she seemed to be wasting away before him. 

If she was not in prayer then she was with him and Ippolito found her actions deeply troubling; he was thankful that he had dismissed the servants so that he might speak with her privately. 

In no way did he wish to shame his wife for her actions, she had clearly been taught this behaviour and he sort to correct that; he would not allow her to do more harm to herself. 

"Husband?" Mary whispered, her eyes staring down at the plate of food before her that she had been picking at since it had been set before her; she was so sure that he would voice his displeasure at the fact she was not with child. 

It was a great disappointment to her that she had yet to conceive, even wondering if perhaps this was God's way of punishing her line for what her mother had done. 

"I worry for you Maria, you have not been yourself, I care for your deeply and I fear that if you continue then we shall be parted soon," Ippolito started, he reached forward and took her hand. 

His dark eyes scanning her face and he wondered if this would work or make the situation worse; he wished for Mary to trust him and for her to see what she was doing was only hurting herself. 

The words were greeted by silence and Ippolito frowned, he hated seeing her so down and he wished that she could see that everything would be well. 

If they were blessed with children then he would be happy, but if they were not then it was not the end of the world; he had many cousins to take over from him and he could even foster one of Clarice's sons to be his heir if needed. 

"I saw many during my time serving His Holiness who thought that fasting would bring them closer to God and his wishes," Ippolito stated with a frown, he did not like to think of his time serving under Clement when he had no desire to serve the church.

If he closed his eyes then he was sure that he would find himself back in that place, watching those who had pledged their lives to God wasting away trying to gain his favour; they would go weeks, sometimes months without a proper meal. 

"Though I do suppose they did become closer to God for they passed from this life to the next," Ippolito continued, a sad smile on his face as he stared at his wife who now looked at him. 

He did not blame her for doing what she did, she had been taught wrong and he did not believe that it was Gods will to see people suffer in this way especially from the more zealous believers that were among his flock. 

"I saw many who fasted for months on end meet their end, whether from starvation or from illness, never seeing their prayers answered," Ippolito states shuddering at the thought, he had tried to argue against such practice but had found himself forbid to return to see those who took this path. 

How many would have to die this way praying on their knees for answers that would not come and wasting away on their knees while priests profited from their actions since many left their belongings to the church. 

"I do not wish to see the same fate for you," Ippolito whispered mournfully with a shake of his head, he wanted better for Mary and he was sure God would bless them when the time was right. 

If not then they could be happy without, he was certain that God had a grand plan for them and one day they would travel back to Florence to take back what had been stolen from him and his family. 

Taking a deep breath, Ippolito slowly started to recount the tales of what he had seen while in Rome and how many woman like his wife had died begging God for a child; they did not take care of themselves and those who did find themselves with child after their prolonged fasting would produce sickly children not long meant for this world. 

His voice with emotion when he talked about those who were not so lucky and perished because of their fasting. 

Looking down at her full plate, Mary felt her stomach turn in hunger almost crying out for food to the point that she felt sick; she had tried things her way and yet nothing had happened, no pregnancy nor child that she could proudly show off. 

Then there was the fact that out of the many pregnancies that her mother had, Mary was the only one to survive; she had not thought that perhaps her mother's fasting might have been why she had lost so many children. 

Only two of her mother's pregnancies had not ended in stillbirth or miscarriage, the only other child had passed after fifty-two days of life leaving Mary her only child. 

"Please Maria," Ippolito begged softly, his eyes searching her face trying to read the emotions that stayed on her face; he would not tell her that he had asked her ladies to report her doings to him. 

Even if she agreed with him and promised to stop fasting then he would be keeping an extra close eye on her to ensure that she was not fasting like this anymore. 

Tears started to fall from her eyes and Mary quickly started to wipe them away, ashamed of how she was acting; she was not a child anymore but a married woman who was failing to do her duty. 

"There is no rush for children my love," Ippolito murmured wrapping his arms around her, his action causing her to cry and apologise for not doing as a good wife would do. 

His arms holding her tightly against him, his words soft and comforting and he reassured her that all would be well; that if it were God's will that they had no children then he would not forsake her. 

All would be well and Ippolito knew that none of this would be Mary's fault, he wished to break her away from the bad influences that had created these bad habits for her to follow. 

It was a good thing that her mother was away at a nunnery now, Ippolito was sure that her zealousness would be right at home there and that her actions would be closely watched by those around her. 

He would not be surprised if Katherine had one more plot up her sleeve, she had been far too calm when she was removed from court and he feared what that might have to do with his wife. 

They could not allow anyone to believe that Mary was anything but loyal to her brother, Prince Alexander would be the future King of England and they would find themselves back in Florence soon enough.

***

Staring up at the night sky, Mary sighed feeling slightly better than she had done in weeks and she was surprised how much her husband had dotted upon her that evening; he had been so tender with her. 

Their talk had been brief and Mary had listened to his concerns, she felt foolish for taking her mother's advice when the evidence lay before her on how well her fasting had worked for her mother and the many children that had been lost. 

Mary found it another reason to distrust Katherine in anything that she said to her, she was relieved that the notes that her mother had sent to her had not fallen into the wrong hands. 

She had no idea who out of her ladies were spying on her for her mother but she made sure to burn anything that she suspected of coming from Katherine. 

Despite being locked away in a nunnery, the letters were insistent and implored Mary to seek an alliance with the Emperor to see her freed from the nunnery and returned to her rightful place as an Infanta of Spain. 

It appeared that she did not recognised herself as even the once beloved Dowager Princess of Wales, her notes suggesting that she had fallen back into her belief that as the daughter of Isabel of Castile that she was untouchable for the English. 

The sound of someone approaching her on the balcony that overlooked the gardens, Mary hesitated for a moment before peering back to see her dashing husband; the only light being that of the moon that made him look rather handsome. 

"Maria... come to bed, my love," Ippolito implored her with a kiss, his fingers brushing through her loose hair and he smiled down at her; his dark eyes searching her own and she nodded her head. 

A small smile on her face wondering how she had found such a wonderful man, who treated her with kindness and she was certain would be patient with her. 

He had not been angry at her for what she had done, he had been so understanding and she found herself more determined to ensure that she was able to give him a child that he so deserved. 

It was her heart's desire to see her husband happy and Mary would give him no reason to wish for another to warm his bed. 

You are reading the story above: TeenFic.Net