Few days passed ever since Jungkook came back but nothing felt right. Every second things were getting complicated and you were having a hard time figuring out what you want and what's going on. The night Jungkook came back he had been very clingy making you feel guilty for not missing him. The way he cuddled you all night and the things he said had you thinking about your life together with him. You didn't know why, after that you just couldn't face Jimin properly. Because of your confused heart you had been avoiding him. That night when you saw his eyes, you knew he was not an ordinary guy in your life. He was so much more to you. 

You were both mentally and physically tired past few days. You didn't have the strength to do anything. All you have been doing is sleep when you get home because Jungkook also seemed to be busy with work. Finally reaching the house after work,  you sigh out loud and entered the house. As usual you found Jungkook playing games.

You let out another sigh seeing his jacket, socks and shoes scattered everywhere on the floor. You didn't know when he became this messy but you were too tired to say anything. Silently you kept your bag aside and went to pick up his things from the floor. 

"Hey Precious.. Did you just get in?" He asks while eyes still fixed on the screen. 

"Hm." You just hummed as you picked up the last piece of clothing. After keeping the shoes away, you went to the laundry room to put away the clothes. Your stomach grumbled a little. You have been eating less the past few days and now you were feeling really hungry. You head back to the kitchen and frowned when you found the pantry and the fridge empty.

"Kook did you forget the groceries today too?" You ask in an annoyed tone. You watched Jungkook stiffen. He slowly paused the game and turned to give you the innocent look. 

"I'm sorry. It really slipped my mind today."

"If you couldn't do it, you should have just told me. There is nothing to eat at all." You scolded getting irritated a little. 

"I know.. but I really forgot. I'm sorry. I promise I'll bring them tomorrow. Just go get washed up, I'll order some food for us for now." he pouts and gives you a pleading look. You roll your eyes at him and let out another sigh.

"Fine.. And I don't want pizza." You say bitterly before heading to your room. 

Jungkook lets out a sigh and quickly pulls out his phone to set an alarm to buy groceries tomorrow. He knew that you would kill him otherwise. After that he scrolled through the food options thinking what to order. You strictly said no pizza so he wondered what you would want. As he was still deciding a message on his gaming gc popped. He quickly opened it and he smiled widely seeing that June had joined the group.

He immediately sent her a greeting and she soon replied. Nate and Sobin suddenly mentioned the challenge and the bet they made since it's already been more than a week. Jungkook smirked thinking if she would be up to challenge him now and to his surprise she did demand for a game. Jungkook quickly logged into the game and accepted the challenge. 

Few minutes went by and he couldn't help but get worked up because June seemed to be playing it well compared to the last time. The guys were already shouting and laughing on the line. "Guys shut up.. I can't concentrate." Jungkook scolded as he was close to winning. 

"Oh ho.. is the golden maknae nervous?" June teased.

"You wish.. you antenna.." Jungkook smirked to himself.

"Urgh! It's MysticAnTa... not antenna." June groaned.

"Whatever!" Jungkook continued to annoy her finding it amusing. 

 Meanwhile you stood in front of the mirror and looked at your gloomy face after washing up and changing into comfortable PJs. You weren't able to smile or laugh like how you used to like a week back. You really missed those feelings. You missed being cared for, you missed the attention and the playfulness. You missed Jimin. Yet you avoided him and put yourself through this hard unhappy situation. Once again.. you felt lonely and empty just like before. You thought Jungkook being back will not make you feel like that, but you were wrong. 

Your stomach rumbled begging for food. You tied your hair up and went out to eat whatever that Jungkook has gotten you. Straightaway heading to the dining table you looked around but there was nothing. Then you went to where Jungkook was to look there. Jungkook was too into the game, pressing the buttons aggressively while biting his inner bottom lip. Which means he was close to finish the game. But you cared less about it as you were hungry and tired.

"Jungkook is food still on the way?" You ask but he didn't respond. So you went closer to tap on his shoulder. 

"Where is the food?" You ask slightly showing your annoyance. 

"Oh shit! I forgot to order." He says and move you away so he could see the screen. Huffing out loudly you squeezed your eyes shut for a second to control the rush of emotions you were feeling in that moment. You couldn't believe that he couldn't do this much properly.

Angrily you grabbed his phone since you left yours in your room and unlocked to order something. Taking few steps back you scrolled through the menu out of anger. But slowly you were losing your appetite. 

"What do you want to eat?" You ask knowing that he is picky in what he eats at night. But he didn't respond.

"Jungkook?" You called in a raised tone while looking at him.

"huh?" Was all he said. 

"What do you want for dinner?" You ask as your voice cracked but again he was not bothered to answer. Tears stung your eyes a little and your heart burned with all the built up emotions you have been having the past few days. You are trying your best to let go of everything and be with Jungkook. But you didn't understand why he was making things so hard. Sometimes you just want to blame him for making you feel lonely and making you have these confusing irrational feelings. 

You were standing right next to him and glaring with tears filled eyes but he was too busy gaming. This is not the Jungkook you remembered. Your Jungkook, the Jungkook you knew was so caring and considerate. But this man right here, you didn't know him. You blame yourself for losing the memories and not being able to handle things by understanding that things have change, people have changed, Jungkook had changed, but sometimes it's just so hard. 

Finally he finished the game with a big smile and ended the call before taking off his headset to look at you. You don't know what came over you in that moment, maybe it was the frustration and the hurt you were feeling. You just angrily threw the phone at him and snapped. "You know what.. I'm so done. Fuck food. I'm going to sleep." 

 But before you could leave his side, he quickly stopped you by holding your hand. "Hey what's wrong?" 

"I don't know.. Why don't you tell me Jungkook. I'm pretty sure I'm just an invisible ghost in this house." You say shaking off his hand away from you.

"What? What are you saying?" Jungkook got up to come to you but you quickly took a step back and raised your hand making him stop coming any further.

"I'm saying the truth Jungkook. Can you not see me or hear me at all? I've been trying to talk to you and communicate with you but all you care is about games. Is this fucking gaming all the time really necessary? When will you grow up? We are not kids anymore Jungkook. I ask you to do something small and you can't even do that? I'm also tired and I need some love and attention.. but when I come home all I see is your clothes everywhere, more work and your ignorance." You just burst out unable to hold it in but what he said next angered you more.

"Then why don't you just quit the job and rest. I'm more than capable of taking care of you." You scoff as you felt a tear roll down your cheek.

"Jungkook that's not the point here. What is wrong with you? This is why I go to work because being in this house is so fucking lonely even with you around. What's worse is that you make it feel worser. I really don't know how I put up with all of this before. I really don't know and I can't remember how our relationship was but right now I can't go on like this. I'm sorry that I can't remember us and I may not be the person I used to be and you also maybe finding my behavior unfair but Jungkook this is my limit. I need you to be responsible in our relationship. I know you take care of me and provide for me and all.. But where is the love and the affection? Where is the Jungkook I used to know? We used to be so much closer in the memories I have. We were friends but we were much more with no label. We were happy.. we were strong but now.. I... I.. really don't know what we are.. we are becoming distant every passing second and what's more hurting is that you don't even realize it."

Jungkook stood still with his eyes fixed to the ground unable to meet your eyes. You were about to break down and cry but you didn't want to do it in front of him." You know what.. I'm just so tired to do this now." You say and hurry back to your room.

With your burning heart, you snuggled up on your bed like a ball and soon broke into tears. You really wished that things would stop getting so complicated and you prayed your life to get easier but it just doesn't. All I just want is to be free.. happy and loved. Is it really too much to ask? You closed your eyes and sudden flashes of time spent with Jimin flashed like a reminder that you did get what you wanted. The only difference is, that it was not with Jungkook but with Jimin. He is the person who is capable of making you feel whole even without trying.

Feeling completely perplexed, you shot open your eyes. You couldn't believe yourself in that moment. You couldn't believe that you were secretly thinking and longing about another man right after you fought with your own boyfriend. But then you started wondering if you could have all of that with Jungkook.

After few minutes of crying and thinking, you closed your eyes trying to fall asleep to get over with this hurting night. But you slowly opened your eyes when you felt your bed sink due to a weight next to you. You didn't move as you knew it was Jungkook. You really didn't want to talk right now so you quickly closed back your eyes. 

You thought he would go away after seeing you sleep but you were surprised when he wrapped his arm around your waist and buried his face into the nape of your neck with his chest pressed against your back. Your insides melted instantly and you started feeling bad for lashing out but you just remained still. 

"I'm Sorry." He whispered. "I'm really sorry Precious." His voice cracked as it was heavy and low when he spoke. Your heart tightened at that and it knotted more when he placed a soft kiss on your shoulder before tightening his grip around you. You wanted to turn towards him and say its ok and you can figure it out together but instead you remained quiet and remained the way you were till you fell asleep.

After few hours you fell asleep but Jungkook was wide awake. He was not ok. Earlier he wanted to give you some space knowing that you needed it, but he couldn't stay away from you. He couldn't even look at you when you questioned him and his heart wrenched when you apologized for not remembering the relationship. He felt so guilty and he wanted to cry and beg for forgiveness. He didn't know that he was putting you through this much pain. All he wanted was you in his life but he was feeling like you were slipping through his fingers. The things June said to him kept repeating in his head. And slowly he was realizing the depth of her words. 

Am I really being possessive and selfish? Can I not make you happy? But angel I want you to be with me.. be a part of me.. a part of my life forever. I don't want to loose you. I don't think I can be without you in my life. I always wanted to protect you and take care of you. That was my main priority all these years.. but today I realized I just want you to be happy. Just give me one last chance. Jungkook kissed your shoulder once again and slowly got down from your bed to head out.  

-

Next day you woke up with a light headache. At first you didn't want to move not knowing how to face Jungkook because he was not even beside you when you woke up. But your stomach was crying for food. You grabbed your phone to check the time and it was almost noon. Since it's a Saturday you didn't panic and you took your time in the shower to make yourself feel better a little. Once you were done, you wore something comfortable and stepped out of the room.

You were a bit hesitant about seeing Jungkook because the hurt you felt last night was still raw in your heart. But as soon as you got to the counter you stood still blinking two three times at the view. You saw grocery bags in the corner and then some flowers on a vase along with some of your favorite homecooked meals neatly presented. There was a note and you quickly picked it up to read.

'I know you must be still mad at me but don't stay hungry. Finish it all up so that we can talk with a happy tummy.' 

A small smile tugged your lips but still you felt strange at your heart. You were pleased that Jungkook did all of this but you couldn't just sit here and eat. Mostly because you didn't know if he ate and the other reason is that you can't eat in peace not knowing how Jungkook is doing. So you went to search for him.

His bedroom was empty so you went into his work room hoping to find him there and to your relief he was inside doing some work. You noticed that he was dressed up which means he was going to go to work and you didn't know how to feel about that. You expected him to stay back and talk things out but you don't know why you felt like he was running away.

"Did you eat?" You ask after clearing your throat softly to get his attention.

"N-no.. not hungry." He said with an uncertain tone. You both were not meeting your eyes properly but you could tell that he was lying. Mentally sighing you went inside and tugged on his arm.

"Come on. Lets go and eat first." You say in a low voice. 

Jungkook didn't say anything as he quietly followed you. The silence was uncomfortable and it felt like torture, yet you both remained silent as you went to get some plates. After having your the meal that he had prepared. Jungkook remained seated as you took the empty dishes to wash. You didn't know how long you took to wash them but as you kept away the last bowl aside, Your heart dropped when you felt Jungkook hug you from behind and rest his chin on your shoulder.

 You both remained like that for few seconds calming both of your hurting hearts. Right now you both needed each others comfort to get rid of these burning feelings. So you gently placed your hand on top of his which was around your waist and leaned back accepting his hug. 

"I'm sorry Precious.. I know I don't deserve any forgiveness for the things I have done. And I know I was a jerk yesterday.. And I made you feel things that I shouldn't have.. But just know that you are the most important person in my life. I never meant to look down on you or take you for granted. I know I'm not mature enough when it comes to relationships and other basic things in life but please know that my feelings for you are sincere. I'll try to be a better person." 

Once again you were reminded that Jungkook is a part of you. Fights like these would never be enough to separate you and him because you would always come back to him and he would always come back to you. And always find a way to make things work dating or not.. you both need each other. But still you didn't want Jungkook to have it so easy. He cannot be doing this all the time and he should know that he really needs to grow up. Besides you still have some conflicted feelings within you and you needed to sort them out as well.

"Sorry won't cut it all the time Kook. I'm not making what happened to me an excuse but I need you to understand me. I may not be the person you used to know.. because I don't remember the old me. Without any memory I cannot be someone I don't know about. But this is me now.. I can't force you to make time to get to know this version of me but I would really appreciate it if you did. If we are going to be together as a couple, I think we should work on it." You hesitantly say what you feel at the moment and slowly step away from his embrace. 

You turn and look up at him to show that you are serious about what you said and seeing your eyes, he got the message. "You are right and I understand where this is coming from. I should have taken this more seriously. I have some work to do at the office today.. It won't take long. Once I come back, lets go out somewhere nice. Lets spend some time together."

"Kook.. You don't have to do that. Just spare few minutes for me at home.. that's more than enough. We don't have to go-"

"Y/n... I want to go out with you. It's been a while. So no ifs or buts.. just be ready in the evening." He says holding both your arms and looking at you seriously. You give him a small smile and a nod. Seeing that, he smiled back and cupped your face to lean in and give a kiss to your lips. 

You could see that he was already set on what he wanted. But that's not what you want. Sure you did love to go out since it's been a while. But what you really need is some closure and some serious talking and planning. Out in the crowd you knew it was not possible because Jungkook easily gets distracted. But then you decided maybe doing something light to get rid of this heaviness was better before taking it too deep.

"I'll get going now so I can come back faster. I'll make it up to you tonight. I promise." He kiss you again and then leave for work. You stood there staring into the space and slowly touching your lips. Strangely you felt nothing. No spark.. no heart drums.. no tingles. Jungkook is an amazing kisser yet you don't feel any fire or burn like you do in your memories. Or like you do when you are with Jimin. You wondered how a guy just being close to you give so much feelings when your own boyfriend gives none when he kisses you.     

Gosh!! What are you thinking Y/n... this is not the time to think these type of things. You better get your shit together now and work it out with Jungkook. Lets try to be happy again. You thought to yourself and went to pick out something nice to wear as you were slowly getting excited about the date. 

. 

~~~~<>~~~~

Jimin sat in front of June who was happily munching on the rice puffs that he got for her as a bribe. Thanks to Lee,