[27] Unexperienced

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Everyone was in bed and sleeping soundly except for me. I lay in the middle of the bed staring at the ceiling. Thoughts kept showing up in my mind making it impossible to close my eyes. My mind goes back to Stefan and everything that happened. I could already tell that I'm getting attached to Stefan, which is scaring the shit out of me. I've never been in a relationship before, I've had one-night stands and friends with benefits but never a boyfriend or anything remotely close to that. There's so much that we need to talk about if we want this to work. Do I even want this is the question? I've always found Stefan attractive but I thought it was going to pass and be nothing. I hate that I don't know what I'm doing, and it makes me feel vulnerable. 

Without thinking I get out of bed and walk to the hallway. I kept walking until I stopped in front of Stefan's door. I hesitated to go in or to go back to my room, making my mind up, I opened the door and took a step in. Looking around the room, I found Stefan peacefully sleeping. Taking a couple more steps in I see him so relaxed. I stand there for about 10 seconds, before slowly turning around making sure not to make a noise. As I reach for the door handle, I hear sheets moving. 

"Aurora? What's wrong? You alright?" I hear Stefan's sleepy voice, is it getting hot in here or is it just me? I turn around the see Stefan looking at me with concern and half asleep. Not knowing what to do, I nodded my head and gave him a small wave before trying to leave. But he wouldn't let me, he was now leaning himself up by his left arm.

"Come here..." I slowly walk over to the bed, as he lifts the sheets for me to slide in. And that's exactly what I did, I laid not far from the edge of the bed, in case I needed to leave. I hear Stefan chuckle in his sleepy voice, which weakens my knees a little. Not liking the feeling, I immediately stand up and take a few steps back. At this point, Stefan was concerned, "Aurora? What's going on?". 

"I'm sorry for bothering you, have a good night" I walked back to the door, until he said my name with seriousness. "Come back here."

I look at him while walking back to the bed, I stand there waiting for him to say something. "What is going on inside that beautiful little head?" I crack a smile, before covering it.

"Nothing, I just can't fall asleep, so I was walking around that's it."

"Why can't you sleep? Talk to me Ro, please" His eyes were soft and concerned. 

" hm, I like that" I smile a little while looking down while playing with the corner of the sheet. 

"You like what?"

"Ro I like that" Stefan laughed a little.

"Come here. We don't have to talk, we can just lay here." I nod and climb into the bed and lay next to him. Stefan was still leaning on his left arm, towering over me a bit. I wanted to tell him how I was feeling about us, but I didn't know how to go about this. The last time I was this nervous was when I killed Mikael. 

We stayed a few minutes in silence, Stefan was now lying down on his stomach, his arms wrapped around his pillow. Seeing his arms like that makes me wonder how it feels like to be hugged by him. I had to tell him if I don't do it now I most likely won't do it anytime soon. 

"Stefan?"

"Ro"

"I've never done this before, the whole relationship thing. I don't know what I'm doing, and it scares me that I don't have any control over anything that could happen. I hate that I don't know what I'm feeling, or that fact that I don't know what to do. This is all making me feel vulnerable, which is why I always leave cause I can't be weak. Not after everything I've done..." I spoke slowly and softly not wanting anyone to hear me. I look over at Stefan to see him looking at me. 

"Oh Ro, I don't expect anything from you, I just want you. You tell me your limit and what you do like, and what you don't, and I'll respect them. I'll stick by your side even when you make the worst mistake of your life. I'll protect you when you feel vulnerable and weak. I want to be there for you in the best ways possible. It's ok Ro, everything is going to be alright. When was the last time you had a good night's sleep." Stefan lightly brushed my hair away from my face. My face became a little red after everything he just said. 

" I don't know, it's been decades." I look up at the ceiling. 

"ok well, try to get some sleep, don't worry I'll be right here when you wake up." Stefan lightly brushed my hair away from my face. I give him a small smile which he gives back. As I'm slowly drifting, I feel Stefan move his arm and hover it over my waist he didn't know if I would be comfortable with it. So I grabbed his arm and placed it on my waist. He pulled me to him, so my back was to his chest, it felt weird, and I didn't know where to place my other arm so I let go of his arm and placed it in front of me. Stefan takes his hand and intertwines our hands, before placing his arm back to my waist. 

"Is this ok?" his sleepy voice is back, and damn.

"It's good...night Stefan" I mumbled 

"Night Ro" and with that I fell asleep within seconds. Who knew that all it took? 


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