The rest of the weekend was chaos but it came in waves. Filming was a success but it left me with a bundle of editing to do. I wanted a small soundtrack to it, so I'd ask around at school. Everyone left before dinner time on Sunday except Lacey, Daryl, Bayley, and Donnie.

I fixed dinner, allowing my mom to relax. "I really appreciate all your help with the food and the preparation," I told her. Despite the exhausted look on her face, she smiled.

"That was really fun," Bayley chimed in. "It's fun to work the second camera." I glanced over at the equipment that remained in the living room.

"I am so grateful for all of you," I said, silently warning myself to not get all emotional. I hated it, I absolutely refused it unless it was necessary. I cried about my mom, that's about it. I didn't cry very easily, although I screamed and yelled and my voice would get shaky, I hardly ever cried.

Donnie and I made eye contact; it wasn't too prolonged. The subtle smirk that manifested upon his lips lingered after our contact broke away. For the rest of dinner, a respectful silence settled.

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

"I'll take everyone home," Daryl offered once we all cleared the table. Donnie helped me rinse of the plates. He stole a few kisses and blew soap bubbles at me.

I walked my remaining friends out, hugging them and thanking them once again. Donnie walked over to me last after everyone else was in the car. He leaned in to kiss me softly, snaking his arms around my waist. Daryl rolled down his window and coughed loudly.

"That's quite a show. C'mon, Darko quit shoving your tongue down the director's throat," he snapped, but there was some playfulness behind his tone. I felt my face grow hot as Donnie and I drew apart. Bayley gave me a thumbs as Donnie got in the car.

As Daryl pulled away, I waved slowly. Lacey and Bayley, who were in the back, continued to wave until the car turned down the street to get to Donnie's house.

I turned to walk into the house, staring at my feet, the moment I glance up I was shocked to see Dylan standing in front of me. "You should get inside. Mom's still paranoid after the shit that went down at school." I nodded in agreement, following close behind.

"She's very happy to be involved," he added quietly before we reentered the house. Before we went to sleep, the three of us put the equipment in the spare closet. Then we parted ways to our rooms.

I stepped into my room and felt lonely, it was a weird feeling. It wasn't a traditional, sad loneliness; it was more of a pang. After being busy and around so many people, it felt odd to be alone. I knew I would see them in less than twelve hours, but in the hours that I was alone, I felt almost sad about it.

It was like the time I had an end of the year party in the eighth grade. I had all of my closest friends show up. We ate pizza and basically goofed off. It was a lot of fun and I got used to the presence of so many people, then when it was over it felt so strange that they all left.

I climbed into bed, slipping the cool sheets up and around my shoulders. My bed felt big and extremely comfortable considering I had been sleeping on the floor two nights in a row. Weariness hung over me like a cloud and I could practically feel the bags under my eyes. At least that night I would not be restless, for I could sleep with a sense of accomplishment.

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

"So do you think you guys could do it?" I asked the three band players. They nodded. A trumpet player, a piano and xylophone player, and a drum player stood before me with eager expressions lighting their eyes.

"Thank you so much, you guys. Once I finish editing the movie, I'll ask my film teacher to make a copy for you guys so you can watch and brainstorm for the soundtrack. Is there anyway I can pay you?"

"No, April. It's fine," the trumpet player named Tony assured me.

"Well..." Andrew the piano and xylophone player broke in. "Maybe we could establish a small fee."

"I wouldn't push it, Andy," Elisha the drummer warned.

"I'm definitely going to add you in the credits," I assured them, mostly Andrew. "But I think a small fee would be fair. It's the least I can do."

"We appreciate that," Tony remarked genuinely.

"Ok, I'll pay the three of you after I add you in the credits. Fair deal?" A chorus of nods echoed my question in response. "Take care."

I strode down the hall and back to the cafeteria. I had gone to the band room during my lunch time since I really didn't have any other choice.

After school, I met Donnie outside by the mongrel statue. "Why are you leaving early?" I asked once he told me his mom would be arriving any second.

"I-uh-I'm going to therapy. I'm going twice a week," he responded hesitantly.

"Is everything ok?" I questioned further. He shook his head.

"Everything is ok with us. I want to keep it that way. Telling you the shit that's been going on and bringing you to therapy again might mess that up."

"You don't want me there?" I felt hurt.

"Shit, April!" he blurted. "It's not just about you." He paced back and forth, chewing at his lip. "I didn't mean it like that."

Right then, his mom's car pulled up and he made a beeline for it. I didn't bother going after him. I felt a wave of sadness wash over me and my throat tightened. I warned myself not to cry, but a choked sob emitted from my knotted throat. I got on the bus, hiding my face and heading straight for the back.

"April?" I heard a male's voice. I looked up to see Ronald. "What's wrong?"

"Donnie. He said that he didn't want me at therapy and when I asked, he got angry and said this wasn't about me. Then he left without another word," I cried. The tears kept flowing for some reason. I couldn't make them stop.

"He's always been like that. He cares about people but pushes them away because he doesn't want to see them get hurt," Sean comforted me.

"Yea, he doesn't want you to worry. I'm sure he'll apologize soon enough," Ronald added.

"If he doesn't, you need to call him out on it. Sometimes he thinks he's protecting people but ironically it hurts them."

"Thanks guys," I said, managing a smile. I felt so stupid for crying, I mentally kicked myself for doing so. I hated being emotional.

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

Dylan and I sat in the living room, figuring out how to edit the film. "Here's the splicer," I said, handing it to him.

"Easy enough," he mumbled to himself. I shot him a cautious look, then watching as he cut the first strip with precision.

The phone rang, but thankfully Dylan didn't jump. "Hello," I answered.

"April?" I heard Donnie's voice and I sighed.

"What Donnie?" I asked, the pain raw in my throat.

"I am so sorry," he breathed into the receiver. "I'm sorry."

"That really hurt, you know. I know it's not about me, it's about you. You're the one going to a therapist." I lowered my voice at the end of my sentence and took a deep breath. After crying, I had had a hard time breathing. "You could've just said you didn't want me to go because it made you uncomfortable."

"But that's not true, I don't want you to worry about all this that's going on."

"That's exactly what Ronald and Sean said," I countered, doing my best to mask my emotions.

"Ronald and Sean? When did you talk to them?" he asked.

"On the bus," I told him briskly. "They say me crying on the bus and comforted me."

"God, April. I'm so fucking sorry," he cried dryly and then proceeded to curse himself with nearly every foul word under the sun. "Please don't be mad at me."

"Oh you know, I'm at that point where the pain freezes over into a cold anger," I muttered. "I care about you and sometimes you just won't let me in."

"If you knew the things I saw, you'd either leave or worry yourself to the brink of insanity." He sighed so deeply I thought he'd suck in all the air through the telephone. "Please forgive me?"

"I want to, Donnie but I'm still pretty pissed."

"You're not going to give me the cold shoulder, are you?"

"No. That would be immature. I just want you to understand that I wasn't trying to be selfish before. I'm your girlfriend and I should be there to support you and help you."

"I know, I know. I don't want you to get in too deep though. What happens if you know everything that has gone through my mind? It could hurt."

"I'm willing to take the risk."

"Let's go to the field," he suggested. "I think we better talk face to face."

"The field?"

"Yea," Donnie replied, "it's near Grandma Death's house. It's a nice hangout, trust me."

I told my mom where I was going as the doorbell rang and she knew as long as I was with Donnie, I was safe. "I'll be home by 7:00 I think."

I sat on the handlebar of Donnie's bike, staring at the sky. "You kinda have a funny way of showing people you love them," I admitted.

"I know and I'm sorry. I love you, I really do."

"I love you, too. I hate myself for it, but I do." Donnie stopped the bike.

"Why?" he asked. "Why would you hate yourself for loving me?"

"Loving someone means risking yourself," I informed him.

"Isn't risking yourself worth love?" he asked.

"It depends if they feel that you are worth risking themselves for."

"I'm risking myself for you every day. One day you might think I'm too crazy and you'll just go on with your life without me."

"Keep pedaling," I ushered. I turned my head to him. "That won't happen. If I thought you were crazy, I would've stopped talking to you after the first day I met you."

"Very true. I'm get paranoid, you know? It's not like I want to worry about these things."

Less cars began to pass by us and there were more trees in plain view. I could spot down the road the area where Mrs. Darko had stopped because of the woman named Roberta Sparrow.

"Here we are," Donnie said, laying his bike in the browning grass and walked up the incline. I followed close behind as I saw something that reminded me of an outdoor room unfold before me. There was a tattered couch amidst the ankle high grass.

"It's nice up here," I commented, taking it all in. "I'm not going to sit on the couch though, there might be bugs."

"Don't worry, it's fine," Donnie assured me but I sat in the grass as he sat on the couch. I pressed my forehead to his knees and sighed. I felt his hand stroke my hair and I relaxed.

"I mess up a lot," he stated softly. "I have a bit of a temper and so many things going on at once that it's hard to keep up. If I ever hurt you, please know that I don't intend to."

"Everyone makes mistakes, it's a fact of life. Other than the occasional little disagreement, we get along great."

"But I made you cry," he said in a hushed tone. "I'm so sorry, April. There's so many thoughts swimming in my head that I don't even know what to do."

"Donnie, when people love each other, they forgive each other. It's hardly even been a month, but being with you makes me happy, it really does. I fell fast for you. You're quite mysterious and intriguing."

Donnie let out a deep sigh as I sat up straight. He stretched himself out, laying on his back and looking at the sky. "I still feel awful for what I said and how I walked off without apologizing. I'm an idiot."

I shushed him softly, holding his hand tightly. After a long period of silence, I decided to speak up. "I only want to help you, you know that?" I asked him; he mumbled a mere 'yea' in response. "I might get on your nerves about these things but it's only because I don't want you to ever feel alone, ok?"

Donnie sat up, leaning over to kiss me. He pulled away with a sweet smile tugging at his soft lips. "Kissing you reminds me how beautiful the world can be," he whispered. I felt butterflies and my heart started beating faster. It was crazy how he had this effect on me.

"Then let's hope you're quite forgetful," I chided with a wink.

"I mean that with my utmost sincerity, April. Maybe I will just have to forget and you'll just have to knock some sense into me."

I laughed and kissed him again. "Is your sense back?" Donnie shook his head with a grin, so planted another delicate kiss on his lips.

"I'm feeling somewhat sensible," he said. The previous feeling of dread was now washed away, replaced by a lighter and happier emotion.

We hung out in the field I looked up at the sky; the sun was starting to set. "We should probably go now," I suggested. In response, Donnie walked down the incline to his bike. After he got on, I situated myself on the handle bars.

"I'm not sure if I want to finish the film this weekend," I mentioned. "Everyone's parents are having second thoughts about letting them come over until the police find out who poisoned all the food. Hopefully by next weekend everything will be sorted out."

"You could ask if they'd just let you film on Saturday. You don't have a whole lot more, right?" Donnie asked. I shook my head.

"Everyone pretty much gets it in the first two shots and there's not many scenes left." I paused. "I really appreciate you coming up with the idea in the first place."

"I think it kind of teaches whoever watches it a lesson, you know? It could teach them that it's important to reach out to others and to keep family as close as they can because they never know how long they have. Like... the morale of the story is: don't take everything for granted and lend a helping hand to those who need it, be kind to your neighbor."

"I like, I really do. I'm not really sure what I gathered from it," I admitted. "I guess that sometimes life is shorter than you think so spend it valuably."

"I do that when I'm with you."

"You know just what to say to make a girl swoon," I teased, giggling. "Yea I really hope it means something to the people in my class. I hope they see what we were thinking of when we made it."

"Our film baby," Donnie added with a laugh. I laughed too.

"You're fun, actually we're fun." Donnie stopped the bike in front of my house, the streetlights now on, filtering into the driveway. Black silhouettes moved on the inside by the kitchen.

"Bye, see you tomorrow," Donnie said as I hopped off of the bike.

"Let's not let that thing happen again, ok? We both don't need more troubles. We should make each other better people, not upset or angry," I pointed out.

"Sounds like a plan, April Darko," he called up the drive. "That has a nice ring to it, wow."

"You stay safe, alright?" He nodded, blowing a cheesy kiss at me. Running a hand through his hair, he began to pedal away. A weight was lifted and I felt like I could breathe again. When he had walked off before, it stung quite a bit. I just prayed that nothing like that would happen again.

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

"I want to be there to present it with you!" Bayley said as we walked through the hallway together. "I mean, hey I am your co-director."

"Good point. Maybe if your teacher will let you skip that period, you could come in and do that," I offered. I spotted the band players down the hall; reaching into my pocket, I pulled out $30.

"Wow, miss money bags," Bayley scoffed in laughter. I waved at Tony, Andrew, and Elisha.

"I had the money early," I explained as I handed it to them. They thanked me.

"We'll definitely brainstorm this weekend. We promise we will have it for you," Elisha piped up. I thanked her in return and continued to walk with Bayley.

"To lunch?" she asked, looping her arm through mine.

"If that is where our conquest takes us!" I replied, in my mocking posh tone.

We marched off to the cafeteria to meet Lacey, Dylan, his friend, and Donnie. "Well if it isn't the terrible two," Dylan snorted. I rolled my eyes at him, not sitting down yet. I remembered I had left my lunch bag in the locker room.
When I returned, Dylan and his friend were there, engrossed in a conversation. I felt hands on my waist. Spinning around, I saw Donnie. Not that I had expected anyone else, but I had to double check.

"Excuse me!" Mrs. Farmer shrilled. "No PDA or obscene touching pleeeaaasseee." Donnie chuckled like everything she said was a joke.

As she walked off, Donnie leaned over to me. "I told her to shove the lifeline exercise card up her ass yesterday," he mumbled. I let out a roar of laughter.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner? Oh my god that's great."

"Yesterday we kinda needed to fix things a little and it slipped my mind," he told me. "I'm banned from after school activities for the next 6 months."

"Niiiiiiiice," I drawled sarcastically. "Wow, Donnie you certainly are a catch."

"I try, I really do," he said, bowing and giving me a wink. "Are you and Bayley hanging out after school today?"

I nodded, picking up a lunch tray. "I'm pretty sure, yea. Why?"

"Can I come too?" he asked shyly. He was outspoken on most occasions but he held back with asking to come over.

"Yea, is everything ok?" I asked, starting to worry a little. I watched as Lacey and Bayley came bounding over with their lunches.

"That all varies on what you qualify to be 'ok'," he stated with a vacant gaze. I tuned out the bustling hum of the cafeteria and focused on him.

"Just come over, we'll talk if you need to after Bayley gets picked up." I left it at that as more people shuffled by the table. I look over at the kitchen, there was still yellow tape forbidding anyone to go back there.

"Mrs. Farmer busted your asses?" Dylan laughed, tearing me out of my thoughts. I shot him a death glare.

"Shut up, that's none of your business," I muttered through gritted teeth. Donnie squeezed my hand but let it go as he began to eat his lunch.

"Mrs. Farmer is a b***h to everyone," Ronald chimed in, who had been struggling through a crowd and had been in earshot. I don't think he had sat with us before. Following closely behind him, came Sean.

"I wrote that on the bathroom stall once," Sean admitted, climbing in next to Donnie. The table was rounded and I was the one completely open to everything. I was seated at the center of the round, with Donnie to my right. Thankfully, Sean and Ronald did not break between, but instead broke between him and Dylan's friend.

The tension in the atmosphere had lessened thanks to Donnie's friends. I was still surprised that at this point I was getting along with them. It didn't take them terribly long to warm up to me and I was grateful to not witness any more of their jerky behavior firsthand.

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

Donnie held the book out for me to take. Bayley had left not too long ago. We had gone through our horse crap assignments without a groan for once. After her mom had come for her, Donnie and I were left to discuss whatever was eating away at him basically since I first met him.

I read the embossed title on the book; The Philosophy of Time Travel. "And you said you told this to Dr. Thurman?" I confirmed in a questioning tone.

Donnie nodded. "I told her yesterday in therapy." He gestured towards the book, urging me to skim through the pages. "This was written by.. Roberta Sparrow? The lady who lives near your little getaway?" I asked, fairly surprised.

"Yea. Dr. Monnitoff told me she used to be a nun. That's what all that is in the beginning, the God's grace