54. Graduation and Straws

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Chapter 54

Sebastian read over the letter fifteen times. Cassandra sat on his bed and smiled, she attempted to read over his shoulder, but he pulled the paper away. He wanted time to stop. He knew once she read over the paper, she would cry.

She would say how much she hated her life and how unfair everything was.

He handed her the paper. Her smile grew grimmer and grimmer, and tears soon began to brim her face. "Deferred," she exclaimed.

"Yeah, but it's not that bad. Just one semester...only 6 months—not even. Everything, all our plans are going to happen. We just need to wait a while."

"I thought you said you were guaranteed a spot. What happened to the money and the connections?"

"I don't know," he avoided her eyes. "I'm sorry."

Cassandra looked over at Sebastian. "I— I have to go." She gathered her belongings and fled the house, ignoring the calls coming from. behind her. He grabbed her arm before she could open the door.

"Cas," he heaved. "We are not doing this. This back and forth. You need to talk to me. Tell me how you're feeling."

Cas looked down at her feet, "I don't want to go to college without you. I don't want to be away from you. Not now, not ever Sebastian."

He pulled her into a hug. "I'm not going anywhere. And besides, it's not that far away. Just..."

"Eight hours by car. A two-hour plane ride," she mumbled into his chest. "It's so far away."

Sebastian ran his hand up her back. 

"No matter how far away you are from me. You will never have to worry about me loving you, Cassandra. I will never stop loving you. We can survive a few months. It'll be a walk in the park for us."

~

They stood next to each other, with matching caps and gowns. Cassandra grasped his hands and put on a brave face. She smiled but at the back of her mind was what was to come in the next three months. Summer would be over, and no longer would Sebastian be a five-minute drive away.

No matter the amount of time they spent together in what they felt like a short time would be enough. 

They would be separated. 

"Congratulations, class of 2016," their principal said.

The students turned their tassels and threw their caps in the air. Blue and gold caps filled the sky. Instead of being excited about the future and a bustling career that awaited her. All Cassandra thought of doing was crying as she grasped Sebastian's hand even more.

~

"So, you're going to go to a community college until you can enroll in UCLA?" Cassandra said as she played with Sebastian's hand in the dead of the night.

"Yeah, I want to graduate the same time you do. Plus, my parents said they'll continue to pay for my car as long as I'm in school. So, if I don't want to work in some crappy store, then community college it is."

"That's smart. You're taking cores, right?"

"Yeah, five of them. I talked to my counselor there. He suggested that since I'm transferring the following semester. What about you?"

"Three cores and I'm diving straight into my major."

"I hope neither of those cores includes English."

"Of course, I know," she laughed. "We'll take the class together." Cassandra stared up at the ceiling. "So, are you going to miss me?"

"More than you know. I hate that you're leaving tomorrow."

"Yeah, me too. I wish time would stop right here. Right here under this blanket with you next to me. You said you'll try to come at least twice a month? Right?"

"Try? I will, and I'll stay as long as I can too. And you're coming back for spring break?"

"I would be a crazy woman not to." She got up from the bed and stared into his eyes. "And you promise you'll call me every night?"

"Yes," he laughed. "Every single fucking night. And I don't care if you're studying or in the bathroom. I want to see your face."

Cassandra ran her finger up his chest. " You know you're a great boyfriend. Like, the best one a girl can ask for."

"Took time, but I'm glad I can finally make you feel that way. I think you're the best girlfriend ever."

Cassandra chuckled at his words. "You're damn straight I am."

~

Sebastian placed the last box in the back of Cassandra's car. Bree sat in the front seat and stared at her phone. The two girls were to be rooming together, a dream for the two best friends.

Cassandra held back her tears that were getting fatter and fatter as she looked at Sebastian. She didn't need to say a word before he hugged her.

"Six months," he assured her. "Six months and then the rest of our lives."

Michelle refused to hold in her tears. When the two teens separated, Michelle hugged her daughter.

"I'm so proud of you, honey," Michelle whispered in her ear.

When the two separated, Cassandra looked up to Sebastian and smiled. "I'll call you tonight, both of you," she told the two people she loved most in the world. Cassandra straightened her back, ignoring the nagging feeling of wanting to stay.

She would be a liar if she didn't look at the local community colleges in an attempt to stay by Sebastian's side. But, after a long internal talk. She realized she had to go and follow her dreams.

Sebastian would be there, she told herself. He would always be there for her.

Cassandra got into the car and began to drive. The image of Sebastian got smaller and smaller until she could no longer see him.

~

"Hey, it's me, Cassandra. Leave a message at the beep."

"Hey, Cas," he said into the voicemail. "it's me, Sebastian. You haven't been answering the phone as much lately. I know you're enjoying college and focusing on school, but I just really want to see you."

Sebastian turned his attention to his computer, completely ignoring the homework he was assigned that day.

"Did she answer?" Simon asked.

"No, and even if she did. I bet she'll say she's studying. Like the last few weeks."

It only took the two teens three months before the calls became fewer and fewer. The first month, Cassandra and Sebastian talked every day. The second month turned into three days, and now it was down to two calls a week with the occasional text.

Sebastian kept his end of their bargain while Cassandra did not.

"Well, she is coming back next week for spring break, and luckily, we have it at the same time."

"Spring break? You're barely in school."

"Shut up. I go my respective three days a week."

"Uh-huh, and how's the homework?"

"Homework is only...thirty percent Simon and where do I have the time when we have a successful Youtube and Twitch channel now."

"Successful is an overstatement. We only have 100,000 subscribers."

"But 100,000 subscribers we earned. Which is a damn lot. Plus, our own channels are doing pretty well too. 

"Yours more than mine," Simon added. 

"Yeah," he said solemnly as he looked down at Cassandra's pictures. He hadn't held her hand or truly seen her in over a month. He fought the urge to drive to her campus and see her.

"Hey man, I know you're upset, but perk up. She'll be here next week, and you two can do whatever you two do that will haunt my dreams."

"Yeah, you're right. She'll be back soon, and everything will go back to normal."

~
Cassandra looked at her phone. Her stomach was tossed when she saw her grade. A D, her first-ever D. She was once an A student, and as she got older, she was a solid B. She was fine with it due to the whirlwind of things happening in highschool. It made sense for her grades to drop when she had a boyfriend, and the two were quite handsy with one another.

But, a D. She had never seen such a letter grade with her name attached. She hated to admit it, but college was a struggle. She was a dime in a dozen among the talented students. While she starred in her town plays and was known for her enchanting voice.

At UCLA, she was no one.

And being a no-one meant she had to try twice as hard. She stood in the front at her dancing classes but tripped over her own feet too many times to count. In singing class, she couldn't hold a note as long as everyone else breaking the symphony.

The only class she seemed to excel in was math, a core class that had no effect or gave her any headway in her career or dreams.

She dialed the numbers, and it only took one ring before Michelle answered the phone. "Cassandra, hi." She could hear her mother's smile.

"Hey, mom," she pulled her covers over her body. Her dorm room was empty, only brightened up with a lamp. Bree was gone to go to a study group, leaving Cassandra alone. After three months of college, she had no friends and was borderline failing her classes.

"What's wrong, honey?"

She held it in, but it was too hard, so she finally let it out. "Mom, college is so hard," she cried.

"Baby, I know. God, I know how hard it is. But, you can do it. You're Cassandra. You're my daughter. You can do anything. Are there any extra credit assignments you can do?"

"Yeah...and you're gonna be upset about it."

At the beginning of the semester, one thing was reiterated by her professor. They only received one extra credit assignment. An assignment that would be a week-long project that included cleaning the campus for an extra ten points could raise an entire letter grade.

"I can't come back for spring break."

"What?" Michelle recomposed herself. The thousands of dollars she was spending should not go to waste because she wanted a spa day with her daughter. "I understand. School comes first. Am I first to know this?"

"Yes."

"So, that means you haven't told Sebastian yet? You know he's gonna be disappointed."

"I know," she pulled her legs to her chest.

"Have you called him? Because he's been calling my phone asking how you're doing, and I would think he would know. Probably better than me."

Cassandra wanted to call Sebastian—every day for that matter. Still, with the pilling school work, she forgot or was interrupted by something when she tried to pick up the phone to call. "I—I've been a busy, mom. He understands."

"Does he? Because..."

Cassandra didn't give her mother a moment to speak before she started. "Mom, I'm going to call him now. Okay? He'll be fine with me not coming back for spring break, and he's going to be even finer when I come back this summer."

"Okay, I love you."

"Love you too, mom." Cassandra took a deep breath and called Sebastian.

Sebastian stopped when he saw Cassandra's face on his phone. He immediately answered, stopping the game in the same instance. He ignored the sudden curses from his trio of gaming buddies.

"Guys, she's calling. I'll talk to you guys later."

A series of whistles and howls followed until he clicked end call. "Hey," he smiled. "Long time no see."

"Yeah, sorry," she chuckled. "How have you been?"

"Been missing you. How are you?"

"How's the Youtube channel going? I've every one of your videos, and I check into the streams every once in a while. How Simon, and the others?"

"Fine, thank you, and alright...still British. How are you?"

"I'm... Sebastian, it's tough up here and," Sebastian didn't let her finish her statement. 

"No! I'm not letting you break up with me."

"What?"

"We've been through way too much, and this distance between us is nothing. I love you, Cas," he admitted. 

Cassandra let out a laugh, prompting Sebastian to stop his declaration of love. "Dummy, I wasn't going to tell you that."

"Huh? What's wrong?"

"I'm failing a class, and I need to stay here for spring break to get my grades up." Sebastian was silent. "I'm really sorry. I know you probably came up with some amazing date, and I wish I could be there with you and mom."

"It's okay," he lied. "It's fine. School is important." 

Sebastian held back his disappointment. He wanted to yell. He wanted to scream and tell her to come back home. But, instead, he merely smiled.

When the call ended, the two teens exchanged I love yous. Her image was no longer in sight, and all Sebastian could do was sit in the darkness. 

He missed Cassandra so much it hurt. 

The water he attempted to drink burned his throat. He looked under his bed. He began to crave marijuana more and more since Cassandra left. He lit the joint and sucked in the smoke. The mist filled the room. He didn't bother opening his window. He knew the chance of his parents walking by; they would surely smell it. 

He didn't care, not one bit. 

~

Cassandra picked up the trash piece by piece. Soda cans, water bottles, and the seeming less endless wrappers. As she reached something, another hand touched hers. The hand was much bigger with longer fingers. 

The two pulled their hands back. "Sorry," the two said in sync. 

He rubbed the back of his head. "You're Cassandra. You're the one that asks questions all the time, right?"

She let out a smile. "yeah. That's me, the question asking girl." She didn't know why her words came out like a stutter or the fact it was embarrassing to talk to a visibly attractive guy.  

"Why are you here? I would think since you ask so many questions, you would know everything."

"Yeah...you would think." Cassandra began to tie the bag of trash. "But no, I'm failing, and the extra ten points would turn things around."

"Yeah," he stopped. "Hey, you wanna go to a party tonight?"

"A party?"

"Yeah, you see, there's a big party filled with people who stayed here for college. Some like us who are failing or just can't go home."

"Um..." She had never gone to a party yet. She'd rather stay in her room to study rather than going to parties. 

"Trust me. It's going to be fun. Underachievers are way more fun to hang out with." He spouted off the location and left without giving Cassandra a chance to decline. 

~

"Hey, so are you still depressed?" Simon asked over the mic. 

"Yup, depressed as fuck, and I just wish I had more weed." His eyes were glossy. His hand was going from his big bag of chips to his mouse. 

"So, assume she's not coming to Arizona?"

"Nope, she said she was doing an assignment for spring break."

"An assignment? For an entire week? What kind of assignment is that?"

"I don't know. I was so frazzled and scared that I would say the wrong thing, so I just said,  school is important."

"But, you don't feel that way, do you?"

"I— 'm high. I can't think straight right now."

"You know, my friend. I think you should go see her. If what you say about her is that she's so smart, she'll be done the project or whatever in like a day or so. Meaning she will have a bunch of free time for you two to do whatever you two do at night."

"Honestly, Simon, I might sound like a total simp, but...I just wanna cuddle."

Simon let out a hoarse laugh. "God, just go see her. She's what?"

"Nine hours," he answered. He contemplated driving there every night he saw the empty spot next to him. 

"And by plane?" 

"Two hours. But, flights might be booked." 

"How much do you love her?"

"A lot," he admitted. 

"so you better find a fucking way."

Sebastian Googled flights. It was only a few available. Both of which would take off in the next two hours. Sebastian put in his card details, packed a bag, and left to go see Cassandra.

~

Night came, and Cassandra was alone. The usual bustling of girls outside her door was gone, and she missed it. She missed the screaming, the loud music, and Bree's medical journals playing in the background. 

She looked at her collection of makeup. She'd often put makeup on herself when she was bored, and it was one of those days. She didn't care to study or read, so she placed makeup on her face. 

Foundation, concealer, eyeshadow, highlighter mascara, eyelashes, and lipstick. She sprayed her face and admired her work. She took out her camera and took a series of pictures, some naked and some with clothes on in an array of poses. She stood in front of her racks of clothes. 

She managed to get a huge chunk of her clothes from home, but it wasn't what she was used to. It wasn't enough options—which also had something to do with her recent increase in spending. She ran a hand over a new lingerie top. 

It was a bold color—red. 

She slipped on the red bralette and then the thong. She turned. Her body was bigger. She had extra skin in places that weren't there months ago. The freshman twenty myth was not, in fact, a myth. 

Her cheeks were a lot more full, and her breast was bigger. 

"God, I'm fat." Cassandra put on her jeans and stared at her butt. "Well, at least that grew too." She turned to look at herself. "Wow, I am hot."

Cheers came from her window. One by one, students walked to the same place. She bit her lip and left the dorm room without a second glance. Her heels clanked to the party. She was met with a slew of alcohol and frat boys. 

Loud music raged her ears, and for the first time, she wanted to smile. 

A loud curse averted her gaze to a table filled with ten guys. She immediately smirked at the series of cups and beers. 

"Can I join in?" She shouted over the music. 

The men looked to the voice. " Oh, it's Cassandra." His name escaped her. She wasn't sure if he ever told her. "You came."

She nodded her head, "I did. And now I want to play some beer pong. Can I join?"

"You any good?"

"Oh, I'm a pro," she assured the table of men. 

Beer and balls were the two things on Cassandra's mind. The unnamed friend's name was Todd. Todd was fun. She had lots of fun with Todd. 

She held his hand as he spun her in a circle. One moment she was on cloud nine dancing with Todd—the music theory student. Then the next moment, Cassandra was watching him hit the floor. 

Confusion was quickly turned into anger. 

The entire party watched a heaving Sebastian stand in the middle with his fist balled. 

Cassandra pushed Sebastian, his body barely jerked back. "What the hell is wrong with you?'

"What the hell is wrong with me!? What the hell is wrong with you? I'm here to visit my girlfriend because I missed you. And I see some guy all over you! And you didn't seem to care at all," he screamed. 

"He was not all over me! We were just dancing, and you just come and attack him!"

Sebastian saw red. He didn't notice people starting to leave the room or the music getting low. He can only look to Cassandra. As Sebastian ignored the rushing body, Cassandra did the same. All her feelings of missing him were thrown out the moment her dance partner fell to the ground. 

"Is this why you didn't come back? Was it because of him? Because you wanted to party instead of being with your mother and boyfriend?"

"What are you even insinuating?"

"Are you cheating on me?"

Cassandra's eyes widen, "are you serious? Are you seriously asking me if I'm cheating on you!?"

"Well, you do have a history," he scoffed. 

Sebastian knew his words were harsh. The next day he would regret his words. But, at that moment, he didn't care. He hated the sight he saw. The way Cassandra looked towards another guy while he was home, dreaming of just holding her hand again. 

 He became angrier just thinking of the way he held her waist and licked his lips. The way Cassandra' swayed her bottom against his groin on the dancefloor while completely disregarding Sebastian and her relationship. 

Cassandra

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