11. Emotions

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***William***

"What is this sight that beholds me?" I ask, looking at Dylan as him and Raphael walk to the door thirty minutes late. Seeing a annoying smirk on Raphael's face and Dylan practically limping.

I know that limp. I should know, when I first had sex with Arthur I needed a wheelchair. But when I walked I somewhat limped. This is limping in a whole other level though.

Considering I'm used to Arthur, I don't limp anymore. But clearly Dylan had sex, they fought, or...he fell... I highly doubt it's the second or third.

"What's this wretched sight that beholds me as well? Sure as hell isn't an angel." Raphael hissed, Dylan glancing up at him and I watched as he just looked away from me. Shocking me that Raphael Martin didn't have any other shit to spout.

"Aren't you going to degrade me some more?" I ask, having him continue to look away from me." Can I have my turn now? I think I deserve it, for sure-."

"Can we just go inside?" Dylan interrupted, stretching as he looked around me." My legs are killing me and I want to eat something too. Why'd you call us here anyway?"

I chuckle, turning away as he literally gave me the clues I needed.

"Why are your legs hurting?" I question mockingly as we walked inside. Dylan beginning to rub the back of neck and narrowing his eyes at me." It's just a question! You don't have to necessarily answer it, but it'd be nice to know."

"Working out." He muttered, ruffling his hair in discomfort.

"Must've been some workout. What about you Raphael?" I ask, and he frowns.

"You care to know what I was doing? I'm touched." He mocked, glaring at me." Besides, what I do and or what I did do is none of your business. We aren't friends."

I roll my eyes, irritated with his response. I wasn't even a bitch in my question, so there was no need for him to be a bitch to me.

"Thank goodness. Who'd be your friend-?"

"William."

I look, seeing Arthur sitting on the arm of the chair. His eyebrow raised as he stared at me in disappointment. But I didn't care, Raphael deserved that one.

"Arthur?"

"Don't be rude. He just got here." He stated, standing as he looked at his father oddly. Not entirely too awkward but you could tell there was an air around him.

Raphael ended smiling kindly at him, Arthur grinning but it wasn't the same.

"Hello."

"Hey stranger. Should it always be so awkward around your fathers?" He teased, seeing Arthur flinch. The both of us knowing that wasn't the best thing he could've said right now.

"I would not know. This is the first time I'm meeting my father. So I can't say yes or no."

"The answer's no. No need to mock me."

"I'm not. The question you asked was insensitive."

"I'm sorry, when I'm nervous I say jokes to calm down my nerves." Raphael confesses, glancing off to nothing and finding myself intrigued by what he said.

He just told us a little secret, it almost felt like.

"Anyway...why were we called here?" He finally asked, looking uncomfortable and Dylan looked constipated.

"I wanted to inform you that we are going to leave California and go to a different state. A state that I like to call...what was it again?" Arthur looked to me, making me smile.

"Utah. I ordered all of our tickets to Utah." I say, making Dylan frown.

"You can't do that. I have a life you know. I can't just leave work and do as I please like you can."

"I know that! But, you can just...wait. Where do you work?" I question, wondering why I never noticed where he worked.

He looked irritated that I didn't know, but I didn't care. He's lucky I asked at all!

"I'm a psychologist." He hissed, sighing in annoyance." I have clients that need me. I can't abandon them."

"They'll live!" I cry, and he glares at me.

"William...sometimes I question your integrity. Why on earth would you say that - do you think before you speak?"

"Dylan..." Arthur began to warn, Dylan rolling his eyes. Watching him stretch and him wince.

"I don't...care. William, the world does not revolve around you. I am sorry, I know we're good friends - so what I say, I hope you take into consideration." He suddenly turns to Arthur, glaring him down." You need to stop instigating him. I'm over your sweet bravado and the fake character you put on, it's...annoying."

I frown, watching as his eyes drifted. Seeing him begin to rock on his heels. I looked to Arthur, and he is looking just as confused.

Raphael suddenly gasping as he caught Dylan who was falling back. A smirk appearing in my face as he was knocked out, for sure.

...

I don't think he realizes what getting fucked does to you. Considering I know he was a virgin in that department, obviously, he's tired.

You can't just get up after a fuck and act fine. Gotta get that well deserved energy back, which he did not do. Because your body is doing positions and feeling pleasure it's never done or felt. It feels good at the moment but it takes so much energy out of you.

"What's wrong with him?" Arthur asked in true concern, and I chuckle.

"Looks like he couldn't handle the blows and passed out." I mock, Raphael glaring at me.

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing. Is there somewhere I can lay him?" Raphael looked at us with concern, swooping Dylan up bridal style. Dylan's head nuzzled into his chest and seeing him completely out of it.

Arthur, for one, looked very confused. Probably because Raphael was being so gentle and sweet to Dylan. While we here and he didn't seem to care for any of us.

"He can go to the guest room upstairs." Arthur mumbled, nodding forward as Raphael followed him. Watching their retreating backs as something told me I should stay behind...

Dylan told me that the world doesn't revolve around me, so I'll just stay put.

***Arthur***

My father and Dylan must've become good friends when he stayed over. Because he's being so kind and it's very unusual to see.

The way Dylan sleeps softly and my dad holds him gently. Almost as if he was a fragile sculpture and with just one tiny movement, he'll shatter. It had me wonder if it was a fatherly instinct...

"It's nice to know that you care about my friend." I state, seeing him glance at me as I opened the door to the guest room. Watching him walk inside and set Dylan softly on the bed. Getting a blanket, covering his body, making me wonder what that feels like.

"Yes, of course. He let me stay at his house and we went sightseeing. Also...he's just a person that I've become gravitated towards." He murmurs, sitting beside Dylan as he looked at him with true concern and worry." I am not usually one to care for people and their downfalls or if they're just tired. But...it's different with him... I have this desire to want to be the best around him."

I narrow my eyes, watching as he looked at me and smirked.

"You too. William? Not so much." He teased, but I didn't know what to think now. He literally said Dylan's name first... Guess it's expected since I kicked him out before...

I almost felt jealous because of it.

"I bet you'd rather have Dylan as a son than me." I mumble, my dad laughing quietly as he stood. Shaking his head until he came in front of me. A grin on his face as he rested his hand on my shoulder.

"I wouldn't, actually. For him...it's something odd. With you, I want you to be my son. It's nice to look at a younger version of me who's so much better than I. You're everything I could ask for in a son." He explains, a smile beginning to grow on my face.

But I didn't know what my eyes were doing or expressing, because his expression saddened. Watching as he wrapped his arms around me. His hand pressing to the back of my head as I rested it on his shoulder. It was unusual to feel someone hug me like I was still a child, yet I didn't want it to stop either.

"Qu'est-ce qui ne va pas Arthur? Tu peux me le dire." ( What's wrong Arthur? You can tell me. ) He murmured softly, and I suddenly felt tears building up in my eyes.

Knowing I was crying when I heard myself hiccup, a loud inhale in as I let it all out. Crying my heart out because I never let what I was feeling as a child out. It was still there... All the pain and not being able to understand why no one, my mom and dad, didn't want me.

"Pourquoi ta mère et moi ne veulent-ils pas? Vous avez élevé tout le monde, sauf moi. Pourquoi...?" ( Why didn't you and mother want me? You raised everyone, except me. Why...? ) I cried, anger not even present anymore. I just wanted to understand why I wasn't good enough or what they didn't see in me.

I was put up for adoption, while I had older siblings - supposedly - and they were raised by him or my mom. Why me? I'm the youngest of all of them and yet they just put me up. Of all the siblings, me.

They even went on to have more kids! I don't see them up for adoption either.

"Ma douce ... Je ne sais pas comment je peux m'expliquer ..." ( My sweet...I don't know how I can explain myself... ) He whispered softly, and I continued to cry onto his shoulder.

"Pourquoi alors? Qu'est-ce qui ne va pas chez moi?" ( Why though? What's wrong with me? ) I croak, pulling away as I look at him. Finding my legs weak as I began to fall to my knees. Clinging his legs and crying into them.

"Arthur..."

I feel him get on the floor and pulling me to him. Hugging me tightly, hearing him sniff as I look and saw tears down his cheeks.

"Rien ne va pas avec vous. Tu n'étais qu'un bébé et ta mère m'a dit qu'elle t'élèverait. Je ne croyais pas ou ne pensais pas qu'elle te proposerait pour adoption. Ce n'était pas mon choix." ( Nothing is wrong with you. You were only a baby and your mother told me she'd raise you. I didn't believe or think she'd put you up for adoption. It was not my choice. ) He insisted, but I still was saddened.

"Une fois que tu l'as découvert, pourquoi n'as-tu pas essayé de me chercher alors?" ( Once you found out, why didn't you try to get me then? ) I ask, and he goes silent. Having me look at him as he wiped my face.

"Parce que j'avais déjà tellement d'enfants et que je voulais que tu sois avec de meilleures personnes. J'avais seize ans, s'il te plaît, comprends la pression que j'avais-." ( Because I already had so many kids and I wanted you to be with better people. I was sixteen, please, understand the pressure I had-. )

"Vous avez eu tous ces enfants et vous ne pouviez pas en avoir un de plus? Un?! Connerie!" ( You had all those kids and you couldn't have one more? One?! Bullshit! ) I burst, yanking back as I glare at him. Shaking my head as I still couldn't comprehend it.

"Arthur-."

"Stop. That's just an excuse!"

"No, it is not. I really wasn't allowed. My parents wouldn't allow it-."

"It shouldn't have been up to them...I'm your son, not theirs!" I shout, and he nods.

"I know that-."

"Obviously not! You abandoned me..."

"Tu n'oses pas me dire un tel taureau." ( Don't you dare say such bull to me. ) He growled, glaring at me and I looked away like I was some kind of child getting punished." I wanted you, trust me. But...I couldn't take you. When I say 'I couldn't,' I really couldn't. I promise ma douche."

I nod, pulling away as he looks at me kindly. But I still felt like some things weren't answered.

"Okay...but...please come to Utah with us. I would also like to excuse William... He can be mean at first, but once you get to know him, he's the cutest person. So...can you give him a chance?"

"For you? Of course." He promised, and we hug as I feel much better." Of course I would, mon fils." ( my son )

***Dylan***

I sit up quickly, looking around as I saw that I was in a dark room. A lamp was on beside me and I threw my legs over. Confused to why I was here, I stood, happy to feel my legs weren't hurting anymore. A little sore but it felt like the kind of sore I felt from after football practice in high school.

Walking out, I find myself feeling a head bang into my stomach. Looking down, I see...

"Ava...right?" I ask, and she nods. Folding her arms as she looked me up and down.

"He's alive!" She screams, and I hear William, Arthur, and Raphael...laughing.

"I'm confused, why were coming to check on me?"

"You were asleep for twelve hours. It's 11 PM." She states, making me gasp as it makes since. The house blinds were closed and you could see some lamps were on. I wonder why it didn't just click in my head immediately.

Going down the stairs, I turn and happen to bump into another person. Seeing William as he was holding a bottle of water.

"How was your nap? Remember, when you have sex, need to regain that energy with sleep. Everyone knows that!" He mocked, and I felt my face heat up immediately. Seeing him laugh as he thrusted the bottle at my chest." You are just up to no good ever since he came."

"How'd...how'd you know?" I ask, and he raised his eyebrows.

"So I am right? You just gave yourself away."

I cuss under my breath, making him laugh.

"He...I don't know what to say. I'm startled that you know."

"Really? The one your sleeping with, he's the father to my husband. I think I'll notice." He states, having me chuckle." Besides, didn't you heed my warning?"

"I didn't care anymore. You know I'm asexual right?"

William frowned, suddenly gasping.

"That makes sense. You never dated the girls at our school..." He mused, smirking at me suddenly." Does that mean he...?"

"Yeah. He's the first person I've ever had a crush on..."

"Now don't be dramatic-!"

"I'm not. I've never actually been attracted to anyone." I say, not confessing about how I slightly had feelings for Arthur long ago.

This is Raphael though...

"Besides, if that's so true, than-?"

"I heard Dylan's awake?"

I look over my shoulder, seeing Raphael walking towards me. My heart suddenly skipping a beat when he had this bright smile on his face. Making me look back at William and he was gone.

"Happy to know you are alive. I was afraid I killed you." He groaned, making me shrug lightheartedly." Are you okay mon lion?"

I stood still as his hand grazed my cheek, a soft grin on his lips and I blushed. Nodding and looking into his eyes.

"I'm sorry. I wish I knew I was doing too much for you to handle-."

"It's fine. I wanted it. Don't worry."

"I must. You passed out on me! I know I want you to be mon lion, but not if it's hurting you in the process-."

"I am fine... You don't need to worry..." I interrupt once more, biting my lip as his hand stroked my cheek. Feeling his thumb grazing my cheekbone and I grin.

It was very unusual.

I just looked at him and it was enough for me. No sexual actions, just silence and standing here.

"I want to have sex with you again..." I mumble, and his eyebrows shot up so fast I thought I imagined it.

"I...I'm not going to have sex with you again."

I flinch, watching as he sighed. That made no sense considering not too long ago, he insisted that I was 'his breakfast'.

"Why?"

"Because I didn't know having sex with you would do such damage to your body. I've never seen a person I've had sex with get knocked out like that."

"So?! I was just tired!"

"Because of who?"

I freeze, and he kisses my cheek as I find myself getting pissed off. It's almost like the opposite is happening and this is the least I expected.

"Did William...?"

"Hell no. I decided for myself. I don't want to do that to you and have you in such a state again. So I will not have sex with you. Also, I agreed to go to Utah. I talked to Arthur and - why are you walking away while I'm talking?"

I don't know why I was so pissed, but I was. I liked having sex with him and I was hoping we could do it again... Yet he claims he won't do it with me again because he doesn't want to make me tired or in the state I was before?

I'm fine! I just needed to get some sleep and if I get some food as well, I'll be all good. He's being over dramatic and it's angering me for an odd reason.

"Dylan."

"Leave me alone."

I feel him grab my arm, pulling me towards him as I looked. Seeing him frown as he shook his head.

"You don't even realize, I'm doing this for you."

"No! You're not! I'm into you and I want you to have sex with me!" I cry, and he ends up shushing me." What happened to you when I was out cold? You are way different."

Raphael shrugged, narrowing his eyes at me as he stepped back.

"Maybe we don't know one another as well as we thought. So...I don't know what to tell you." He sneered, shrugging nonchalantly." This is not what I had in mind, honestly. If you're going to whine and complain and persist that we do something, then I'm off. Didn't know you were this type."

I flinch, watching as he looked very irritated. Not sure why, but I have been very kind and I let him have sex with me. I didn't even know that I'd allow myself to do that! Yet, I did.

So to hear him tell me that when he was just all over me before...

"After everything I told you, you want to treat me like this?"

"Get your boxers out of a twist, you should be thankful that I care so much."

"That is bull! I am fine!"

He shrugs, turning away from me and I suddenly feel this anger build up inside me. The sex thing, I can get over that. But it was the way he said it and now he's being very rude...

"I'm leaving." I growl, and that makes him look at me." You can stay here, I don't care. No one treats me like that... I don't care if I've somewhat become attracted to you. I refuse for you to be so mean."

"I'm not! I'm being mature and saying I won't have sex with you right now, because you are tired."

"Not anymore!"

He just looks at me, silence all around as I waited for him to say anything. But he remained to just stare at me.

"You're not tired?"

"No..."

He chuckles, looking away from me as he points suddenly.

"I'm not going to have sex with you until we're in Utah."

"Which is?"

"In two days. You can wait, right?" He mocked, stepping towards me as I felt his lips graze my earlobe." Can I wait though?"

I blush, and he pulls away as he walks away. Making me wonder how the hell this was going to work out.

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