Ch. 17 - "You're safe with me."

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"WHO DOESN'T LIKE PEPPERONI on pizza?" Xavier asked, bewildered at the fact that I don't like pepperonis.

I shrugged,"Sane people."

"More like insane," he retorted with a side smile.

It was Thursday, and we were all at lunch. Everything between me and Joshua seem to be fine since the not so hot and sexy kiss. Whatever was bugging him Saturday night went away, and he was back to his usual self.

Me, on the other hand, haven't slept more than two or three hours a night. I would wake up panting and scared from the nightmares, but I haven't screamed like I did Friday night.

I was so tired, and the only reason I am awake right now is because I downed three cups of coffee. I have so much to do this weekend, and I need to get myself together before my first game Saturday morning.

Besides the game, I have two tests tomorrow which I haven't even studied for, and I have a student council meeting tomorrow after school.

"So, in all seriousness, are we still on for Saturday night?" Jake asked, looking over at me.

And let's not forget that Saturday I'm suppose to be going with Joshua to some event that nobody has told me about. It must be something sketchy because Joshua clearly doesn't want me to go.

Vanessa nodded, and I just shrugged, not really interested in this conversation.

My eyes were getting heavy, and all I wanted to do was just sleep. Everybody went into their own conversations, and nobody was paying attention to me.

Well except one person.

Joshua has kept his eyes on me since we sat down at the lunch table. He hasn't said anything to me, but his eyes tell another story.

Once the bell rang, I stood up, slowly, while grabbing my barely eaten lunch. I took a step towards the trash, and that's when I tripped over my chair leg.

I was about to fall face first into the ground when Joshua grabbed me. He set me back on my two feet, and his face held worry and concern.

"Let me throw away your trash. Just stay right here," he said, taking my trash from my hands.

He walked away from me, and I watched him walk all the way to the trash cans. Joshua threw away my trash before turning around to walk back to me.

Once he reached me, he said,"Come on, I'm taking you home."

I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion,"What? Why?"

"Because you are beyond tired. I can see it all over your face. All day, you have been yawning and about to fall asleep. Plus there are the bags under your eyes," Joshua said, making my jaw drop open.

"You can see them?"

"Yes, Annie. Now, come on," he said as he grabbed my bag as well as his.

"I can't leave, Josh. I still have classes and so do you," I argued with a shake of my head.

"I don't give a shit about classes. You need rest. Have you been sleeping at all?" Joshua asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I have," I defended, making him narrow his eyes at me. "Okay, ever since Friday night, I have been only sleeping two or three hours a night but I'm f-.."

"Two hours per night?! And you have been doing this for a week! No wonder why you are so tired!"

"It's not a big deal," I replied with a shrug.

"Why haven't you been sleeping?" Joshua asked me, confusion on his face.

Oh I don't know Joshua. Maybe because every time I close my eyes, memories replay in my mind from that day.

"Just stressed with school and stuff," I lied with a shrug.

"Don't lie, Annie. Why haven't you been sleeping?" Joshua asked me once again.

"It's none of your business," I argued before walking away from him.

It caught with me in no time, and he continued to nag at me, trying to get me to open up to him. I even stopped at my locker to grab my books, and he was still annoying me.

I slammed my locker shut, angry at him for annoying me,"Joshua! Stop worrying about me. I'm fine."

Before he could even say anything, I turned to walk away. But what I didn't expect to find was a person behind me. I ran straight into the guy, and my books fell from my hands. Paper went everywhere, and I felt tears welled in my eyes.

I am so tired, and it's like the world is against me right now. Everything had to go wrong, and I am so overwhelmed with it all.

The guy apologized, but he didn't even bother helping me with the mess. Instead, he scurried off, but I think that's because of Joshua.

The late bell rang which just made everything even worst. I got on my knees, and I started to pick up the papers. Tears rolled down my cheeks, and I hope that Joshua doesn't see them.

But like I said before, the world was not on my side today.

Joshua stooped in front of me, squatted down, helping me pick up my mess. Within a few minutes, everything was picked up and placed neatly in my folder.

But we both stayed exactly where we were. Neither of us made a move to get up.

Tears were still rolling down my cheeks, and I sat down on my butt, leaning against the lockers. I brought my knees up to my chest. Joshua moved to sit beside me, and his back met the lockers as well.

"Annie, baby, why are you crying?" He asked, using his thumb to brush away the tears.

"I just want to sleep. I'm so tired, and everything is making it ten times worst," I answered, honestly. There was no point in lying to a person who can read me like an open book.

"Okay, then, let's go get you home. You need rest," he said, but I shook my head.

"No, you don't understand. I can't sleep," I replied with a sob. "The nightmares won't let me."

Joshua furrowed his eyebrows in confusion,"Nightmares?"

I nodded, frustrated with the entire situation,"I had them since I was six, and they stopped for a while, but now they are back, and I can't sleep."

"What are they about?"

I took a deep, debating whether or not to tell him. Joshua doesn't seem to be the type to go around telling everybody, and I know I can trust him.

"When I was five," I started,"I was snatched off the sidewalk."

I looked at Joshua to see his reaction, but he hid his emotions like he was an actor.

I continued,"The guy who snatched me was after my sister. His name is Jaxon Knight. He used me for leverage to get her alone. Even though I was only five, I remember every single detail of what happened. I remember being put in the trunk, and I remember screaming for help and kicking the trunk.  I remember laying there in a dark box, feeling like I couldn't breathe.

I remember when the car stopped, I thought I was going to die. I thought he was going to kill me. He got me out of the trunk, and he had a gun in his hands. I fought, Joshua, I really did."

Joshua's facial expressions soften, and he grabbed ahold of my hand for comfort.

"I fought his grip the whole way, and whenever we got inside, I kicked him where the sun doesn't shine. He let go, and I ran, trying to get out of there. But Jaxon was quicker than I was. He...he slammed me against the lockers, and he had his hand around my throat.

He held me there for so long that I was seeing stars. But I guess he realized that if he killed me right there, then he wouldn't have any leverage. So he let go, and then he dragged me to a classroom. Jaxon made me sit, and he told me that if I were to move one inch, he would kill me. Shortly after that, my sister came, and she saved me."

Joshua was silent for a moment, and I wiped away more tears that rolled down my cheeks.

"That's why you had that panic attack Saturday. You were getting flashbacks from being in the trunk," Joshua finally said, piecing it all together.

I nodded,"Yeah. I can't be in dark, small spaces or else.. you know."

"Have you seen a therapist?" Joshua asked me, drawing small circles with his thumb over my hand.

"Yeah. I was seeing one until they stopped. They even had me on medicine for it all, but I stopped taking it."

"Why?"

"Thought I didn't need it anymore. My parents were fine with it, and they think that the nightmares are still gone."

"Is that why you didn't want me to tell Campbell about your panic attack?"

"Campbell has no idea about my trauma. She thinks that I have been fine with everything. I made my parents promise not to tell anyone about my therapy sessions or my nightmares," I answered, making Joshua shake his head.

"What?" I asked him.

"Campbell should know about this. I mean, no offense, but it was her fault that you were put in that position. I know she didn't know that this Jaxon dude was going to go after you, but still," Joshua explained, running a hand through his hair.

"She was seventeen, and she already felt guilty enough about it," I argued, trying to defend my sister.

"And you were five! You went through so much shit at five, Annie, and it's still affecting you now," Joshua argued, getting defense over me.

"Maybe, but my sister is one of the best people I know. She would never purposely put me in harms way."

Joshua was silent for a moment before he said,"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have thrown your sister under the bus."

I shrugged,"It's fine. I forgive you."

"It's just that I never had a sibling that cared about me," Joshua said after a moment of silence,"Asher loathes me, and it has always been that way since I was born. To him, I'm just the bastard son who destroyed his life."

"But that's not true, Joshua. You are not a bastard, and you didn't ruin Asher's life. He did that all by himself," I replied, leaning my head on his shoulder.

"Maybe," he muttered as I yawned.

"Come on, let's get you home so you can get some rest," Joshua said, standing up from his spot against the lockers.

He extended a hand out for me, and I took it. He pulled me up, and he wrapped an arm around my waist.

"What about my stuff?" I asked, looking down at my textbooks and notebooks.

"Don't worry. Xavier should be here in a minute to grab it," Joshua assured me, making me nod in agreement.

We walked all the way to his car, and he opened the passenger door for me. I got in his car, and he shut it behind me.

Then Joshua got into his seat, and he turned the engine on. Then we drove off towards my house, and I felt my eyes get droopy.

The next thing I remember was getting carried upstairs. I stifled in the Joshua's arms, and I pressed my face closer to his chest.

I heard him open my bedroom door, but I was too tired to try and get out of his arms. That and it felt so nice to be in his arms. It was warm and it just felt right.

But it didn't las for long when he set me down in my bed. I groaned, and he lifted the comfort over my body, stopping at my chest.

Then he did something that totally shocked me. He leaned in, and he kissed my forehead.

"Get some rest, Annie," he whispered before backing away.

But before he could get too far away, I grabbed ahold of his hand, stopping him from leaving.

"Please don't leave. Please," I begged him like a child, not wanting to be alone.

His presence gives me comfort and a feeling of safety and security. I know that if he walk out of my room, I'll just wake up from another nightmare.

"Okay," Joshua responded before kicking off his shoes.

He climbed into my bed next to me, but he stayed on top of the comforter. I turned around to face him, and he pushed a strand of hair out of my face.

"I just don't want to be alone right now. I don't feel safe," I whispered as my eyelids grew heavy once more.

"You're safe with me," Joshua replied, making me smile.

I moved over so I could lay on his chest, and he wrapped arm around my shoulders. He traced up and down my arm, gently, causing goosebumps to appear.

I snuggled into his chest, getting comfortable. Then within a few minutes, everything around me went black.

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