12: What the Heart Wants

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She shouldn't go. She really shouldn't.

When the school dyke invites you out to an event, you say no. Especially when she's the enemy. Especially when going will ruin your reputation and give out the wrong signals.

But here Grace was, getting dressed on a Friday night to go to the school bonfire. Fridays were turning out to be the worst day of the week instead of the best.

She opted for putting her hair in a haphazard ponytail and dressing like she was going to a baseball game or a department store. Maybe nobody would recognize her. As if, she thought, but she was just glad Jeanette and Megan weren't going to be there. Obviously she didn't tell them she was going, or else they'd already be outside of her house to pick her up.

Grace borrowed her dad's car (who was rather surprised she was going somewhere by herself), and headed over to the school. It was 6 o' clock and already essentially dark out. The school was illuminated, though, and people were walking around to the back where the fire pit was being set up.

She parked, feeling silly that she was going to be wandering around alone looking for Cal (she still didn't have the other girl's phone number, not that she wanted it anyway). She debated leaving, but something about flaking on the transfer student didn't sit right with her. I mean sure, she hadn't explicitly stated she was going, but knowing the dumb blonde, she was definitely expecting her to.

It was just too pitiful, imagining the giant girl, standing alone like a lost puppy, surrounded by people she didn't know very well.

Grace exited the car and headed around to the back. Although there were other students walking, the path to the other side of the school was rather dark at night, and she started to feel nervous. No, Grace, there's no way he's here, on a school campus.

"Boo!"

The yell and the hands grabbing her shoulders from behind made Grace nearly leap out of her skin. She spun around, prepared to throw a fist, but was met with none other than Cal McCarthy. The tall girl put her hands, up, laughing hysterically.

"Hey, don't punch me!" she teased.

Grace's heart was pounding out of her chest, and she was suddenly filled with rage. "Oh my god, are you fucking twelve?"

Upset, she spun back around and continued to stomp along the sidewalk. She heard Cal jog after her, placing her arm around Grace's shoulders and putting her face too close for comfort.

"Hey, don't leave without me, I'm sorry," Cal said through a smile. Her breath hit Grace's ear, and Grace's face started to burn at their proximity.

Since when did she start getting so touchy-feely?

She shoved the taller girl away, thanking God it was too dark for Cal to see how red her face was.

"I should've known coming here was a stupid idea," she grumbled.

"Come on, we're gonna have fun," Cal replied. She was more bubbly than usual today, and it was pissing Grace off. "You don't have enough of it in your life."

"How would you know?"

"Because I don't think I've ever even seen you smile."

"Well of course I don't when you're around," Grace spat.

"Sure, sure." Cal rolled her eyes. She moved so she was close to Grace again, their arms brushing against each other. "I don't think you hate me nearly as much as you let on."

Grace locked eyes with the blonde, and for several seconds she couldn't look away. "And I don't think you're very good at reading people."

"We'll see about that." Cal smiled, and it was a sort of genuine smile, unlike the kind that Grace usually put on. It made the honor student's heart flutter for a split second, but Grace chalked it up to an unrelated palpitation.

The two made it to the other side of the building which had a large courtyard. It was originally an outdoor eating area, but all the tables had been clearing to make way for the fire pit. There was a larger turnout than Grace had expected, the courtyard filled with students and teachers hanging around, waiting for the bonfire to start.

To the right of them was a table where free pizza was being served, the line to which seeming to go on forever. "I guess that's why so many people showed up," Cal remarked.

"Are you going to get some?"

"Mm...probably not," Cal said. "I had a pretty late lunch. What about you?"

Honestly, Grace was starving since she forgot to eat before she left. But she felt a bit uncomfortable about having them stand in such a long line.

"...no, I'm good." Grace folded her arms across her chest.

Cal lifted an eyebrow. "You seem like you want some."

"I don't."

"Come on, you're being too obvious," Cal said, and began dragging her over to the line.

"Hey, I can just wait in line," Grace protested. "You don't have to come with."

Cal looked back at her and flashed a smile. "I want to."

Grace blushed again, her wrist burning where Cal was holding on to it. She let herself be dragged to the end of the line, grateful that the only people who seemed to be around were underclassmen.

The mood that night was very strange, in a way that prevented Grace's heart from slowing down. Ever since last weekend, she'd been unable to fight off her emotional reactions around Cal. Maybe it was because Cal had already seen her in a vulnerable state, and tried to comfort her in spite of the ill feelings between the two. No one had ever really done that for Grace, and the honor student didn't seem to realize how much she was craving genuine human affection.

She believed her friends honestly cared for her, but she had never opened up to them before. It's like they were friends with a hollow shell, someone putting on airs and never letting their guard down. But since she'd accidentally allowed someone else in, even for just an hour or so, her mask was becoming more and more difficult to maintain. Especially when Cal seemed to be actively trying to chip away at it.

--

The two finally managed to get the pizza after enduring the long line. It wasn't unbearable though, and they talked about all sorts of dumb, menial things, like the history teacher's bald spot or whether an upcoming horror movie looked good.

The bonfire still hadn't started just yet, so the two sat up against the building in the corner of the courtyard to eat their pizza. Grace made sure it was in a suitably isolated and dark spot so she wouldn't be recognized.

Grace felt a shiver run down her spine as she realized she'd underestimated how chilly it would be tonight. She'd only brought a light jacket, probably because she'd been too lost in thought to really consider the weather.

"Are you cold?" Cal asked, immediately noticing. "I've got an extra pullover in the my backpack."

She quickly unzipped her backpack and pulled out the pullover in question, a dark blue one with some college sports team on it. Grace justed stared at it hesitantly.

Cal rolled her eyes. "Come on, just take it."

She shoved the pullover in Grace's lap and Grace decided to just put it on. It smelled like the fabric softener she'd detected on Cal when she hugged her last Friday. Grace blushed at the memory, looking away so Cal couldn't see.

She heard Cal snicker. "It's, uh, a little big on you."

"Yeah, and it smells," Grace fired back. When she peeked back at Cal, she saw the girl's face contort into a worried expression.

"What? Really? I know it's been in my backpack all day, but I just washed it!"

"Pfft!" Grace couldn't help but laugh at Cal's reaction. Catching on, Cal gave her arm a playful shove.

After taking a few seconds to stifle her laughter, a peaceful silence fell on the two, and Grace felt more relaxed than she had in a long time.

"That's the first time I've seen you laugh," Cal said softly, disrupting the quiet air.

Grace was suddenly extremely embarrassed. Why did Cal have to say these sorts of things out loud? "Yeah, well, don't expect it to become a thing."

Cal laughed quietly, and another wave of silence came. The cool wind now felt soothing on Grace's skin, rather than freezing. With her head resting back against the wall, she almost felt like she could fall asleep. She had been dealing with exclusively sleepless nights for what seemed like a full month now. Partly due to the girl sitting right next to her at that moment.

But once again, Grace was roused out of her peaceful state when Cal leaned a bit closer to her. The mood seemed to shift, and not back to the playful nature that had been permeating throughout the night.

"Grace?" Cal began, her voice nearly a whisper. "Can we talk about what happened Friday?"

Instantly, Grace's mood soured. Why couldn't the girl just take a hint and leave the topic alone? "What's there to talk about?"

"I know you told me off about it before," Cal said, "but I can't stop thinking about it. You looked terrified when I found you on the curb."

"Well...I was."

"Whatever's going on seems serious, and you should tell someone about it." To Grace's surprise, Cal gently grabbed her hand, holding it in her own. Her eyes bore into Grace, trying to get her to meet her gaze. Finally, Grace gave in, looking up at her. "Obviously it doesn't have to be me. But even though we're not the closest of friends, I would never tell anybody or judge you for it."

This situation was getting more and more dangerous, but Grace couldn't help herself from falling deeper in. Like prey approaching the light of an anglerfish. She was helpless and desperate for someone, anyone, to be there for her. She's always felt scared and alone, and the sweetness of Cal's words and the gentleness of her voice was too alluring to bear.

The words tumbled out of her mouth before she could stop them.

"There's someone stalking me."

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