58 A Stolen Title

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Jonas~~


Jonas,

I'm sure you're surprised to be receiving this letter. Believe me, it's a surprise to even be writing it, but Basile wouldn't give me any peace until I did.

Although we are cousins, we have no feelings for one another that are familial. You are everything I hate in this world— you are the definition of the Society, and I will never regret what I did. I knew it was your Expiration Date. I knew the bomb would kill you—should have killed you. Until I found out Iris was Expired, I had no idea how the Date I had seen on your skin was wrong. It's tormented me—mocked me since that day.

Despite that—despite everything, I did not give Iris to the Amoris to hurt you. I would not bring her into our fight. It would make me no better than you. I only did what I did to save Basile, a feeling I'm sure you must understand because both of our loves can die at a moment's notice.

If you hadn't exiled me, I never would have met him. This apology for Iris is because of that.

I still hate you with my entire being. Loathe you really. All around can't stand you. But I do hope you're able to save her—for her sake. She deserves better than you—better than any of my cousins, but maybe you can do this one thing right and save her life.

Andrew


Taped to the bottom of the letter is a picture of Andrew and Basile spread out on beach chairs covered in sand. Basile's asleep, and Andrew gives me a vulgar gesture with his hand.

To have sent me this letter, he had to have known I returned to the palace.

I fold the letter and let it fall onto the desk.

I have to do this.

I want to do this.

She would do the same for me.

She has done the same for me.

Behind me, a fire crackles in the hearth, the heat from it warms my back through my cotton shirt. A servant came by my room and lit it almost two hours ago.

Andrew's letter is not the reason I'm doing this.

I tuck the letter into a fresh envelope, and I take my time as I write my brother's name across it. Déjà vu is thick in the air, taking me back to my Expiration Date when I finished writing a letter to him, insisting he would make a great Preeminence and saying goodbye to him. Emotions thick in my chest, I set Andrew's letter down on top of the letter I have already written for my brother. Underneath Colton's are letters for Gwen and my parents.

I douse the fire and finish getting ready, trading my dress shoes for sneakers and patting the bullet proof vest underneath my shirt to check that it's secure. I tuck a gun into the waistband of my pants and slip a sheathed knife into my back pocket.

Living past my Expiration Date to save another person would not be a bad fate.

Not at all.

I lock the door behind me, knowing Colton has the spare key, and make my way through the palace halls. I pass a few guards who stop and bow. With it being late in the night, the palace is quiet.

It was four days ago that Mid'haa was found. Four days since I heard that Iris was alive, but with every day that passes, I fear we're only closer to discovering the next body, this time with a note that says my fiancée is dead. Mid'haa awoke two days ago. She told us everything that happened to her. Told us that Iris looked to be wasting away while Bently had been taken away from his cell and never returned.

"Jonas."

I stiffen at Colton's voice.

I turn and find him behind me, dressed in his formal attire—slacks and a button-up shirt—despite the late hour.

"What are you wandering the palace for?" I ask.

"I was speaking with Vienna." He catches up with me, tugging on the cuffs of his sleeves. "Why are you?"

Pressing my lips into a thin line, I fight against the invisible strings that seem to be attached to my ankles, tugging at me to keep moving. To get to her.

Colton's eyes narrow. "You're going down there, aren't you?"

"She would have already done the same for me. She has done this for me. She'd do it for Erik, and probably even you. But you and Erik can't die. She can."

"You think you can save her? On your own? Just go in and walk out with her?"

"No. I don't plan to come back."

He opens his mouth—

"Even if we had Amoria with us right now, how do we expect to find her and Bently when the time comes? It will be a maze down there, and Odette won't let us take her. When we attack, we have to know how to get to her before Odette can kill her."

"She wants to study Iris."

"And if she realizes she won't be able to? That we're about to get to Iris? Odette will kill her." I let out a slow breath, trying to calm my heart. "Mid'haa's team has hidden a camera on me. The Amoris will capture me, and you'll be able to see it: their stronghold, the paths that they take. It will be our only way to study the layout before our attack is launched."

Once I'm close enough to the entrance, I'll turn on the camera. But right now, I want this conversation between Colton and I to be private.

My brother lowers his voice. "She'll hold you for ransom."

"No, she won't." I push up my sleeve where the white bandage is wrapped around my Mark.

His eyes flash with warning, and he glances around. There is no one. We're alone.

I unwrap the bandage, each mutilated black number being revealed one at a time. The month: 07. The day: 28. And the damning year: 14. All of them too marred to read, but I will always know what they were. "She's not letting me go, at least not alive." I take a deep breath. "I didn't destroy my Mark when the rebels captured me because I was trying to uphold tradition. I did it because I'm Expired."

Colton stills.

"July 28, 2014. That's what was written here." I run my hand over the scars.

The blood drains from his face. "The bomb."

I nod. "I was only ever supposed to be Preeminence for a couple weeks. It was always you, Colton. You've been destined for it since birth. I've been keeping you from it."

I've hidden my Mark for so long. I thought showing him would feel wrong. It's a relief, a burden off my shoulders.

"No." Colton steps back. "You can't be."

"Andrew's bomb was supposed to kill me. And it didn't."

His eyes flick between my outstretched arm bearing my Mark and my face. "It's why you protected her . . . Why you refused to let me kill her in front of the Society."

"To destroy her would have been to destroy myself. She is my reflection."

He rakes his hand through his hair, his chest rising and falling. "I should kill you. Isn't that my duty?" Water lines his eyes. "Isn't it?"

"In the Society's mind, yes. But"—a soft smile and a shrug—"there really is no rule, is there? No one was expected to live past their Expiration Date."

"I was supposed to lose you." He falls to his knees as if they just give out on him, and something in my heart cracks. "Khaleedi."

"You are the true Preeminence, Colton. Don't kneel before me." I hold out my left arm, my Date a bridge between him and me. He clasps my hand, and I pull him to his feet.

"I am the Beta."

"And when I am gone, Gwen will take that role." I place my hand on his arm. "You both will be absolutely magnificent. I only wish I'd get to see it." I step away, holding back my own tears as his start to fall. "When you save her, take care of her. Give her whatever she needs. Treat her as if she had been my wife. Let her know the Society will always be her home should she wish it."

"I can't let you go. Even if Odette doesn't kill you, she'll do unspeakable things to you."

If Odette kills me, she won't make it a quick death. But there's a part of me that doesn't expect her to kill me. I'll be her oddity: a living Expired Preeminence. She'll want to have her fun with me.

And I so desperately want my chance to say goodbye to Iris. To look at her and understand that it's the last time. Because when I fell asleep beside her that night at Andrew's, I didn't know I wouldn't be waking up to her.

"You will let me go."

"No." He steps toward me. "I won't. Gwen won't forgive me. Mother won't forgive me. I won't forgive myself."

"You don't have a choice. Let that ease your conscience. This is my last order as Preeminence, khaleedi."

"Don't." He shakes his head.

Allowing a few tears to fall, I swallow the lump in my throat. "I love you. Despite everything that has ever happened, I love you."

He clenches his fists, looking as if he might tackle me to keep me here—as if he's caught between duty and love.

I turn away from him and let the tears fall as I walk down the hall.

"Jonas."

I stop and look back, knowing he can see the tears, and study his face, memorizing it.

"I love you," he says.

My heart breaks. "Thank you for being my Beta, Preeminence."


If this were back in the first book and Jonas told Colton he was Expired, what do you think Colton would have done?


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