45 | Violin Tsunami

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Surprise bestiesss!

I (somehow) managed to finish a chapter way earlier than I usually do. So, I pushed myself to edit it and post it today because ED reached 100K reads! AHHH! I'm so happy and thankful to every one of you who's reading it, and loving it!

This chapter is a hefty one with a heavy conversation.

Small TW because of a brief mention of abortion. So keep that in mind when you come across it.

It's an all Harry POV chapter, so if you love those, this one's for you.

Oh yes, there's also a LONG A/N at the end of this chapter. Please take a read through it. Thanks.

Now, without further ado, I hope you enjoy this one, my darling rosy tulips 🌷

♬ ✥*

Harry.

My ears had to stop working.

She called herself my mother.

That was the biggest fucking joke I've heard all day — more or less, the only one.

I swear, I was hallucinating at this point.

Settling my focus on Serenity, her lips were parted, confused, and just as in shock as me. Her eyes blinked a few times, still darted towards the women before moving them to me. She was worried about me, and I was at the point where I didn't know whether to feel the same way or remain in my irritated state.

I chose the latter.

"What the fuck did you say? I have a mother, and it certainly isn't you."

"A Lauren? Yes, I know," she whispered, "But she isn't your mother. I am."

That was the last fucking straw. Whoever this woman was, she was a liar, and that was it.

"Get the fuck out."

"Harry," Serenity's voice was surprised by my tone — and request.

Sorry, my love, but I wasn't requesting it this time — it was a demand.

"Please, don't —" The woman begged, but I refused to hear anything more.

Walking around to the buzzer, I pressed on the intercom that led down to the surveillance room.

"Security, I want someone to come up immediately to escort this woman out. Do not let her in again."

"But I'm —" she still tried to get words in, but I didn't give her any chance to continue. She was a mess with the way tears filled her eyes. Dramatic effects — all of it. Nothing was real.

"Harry, pretty, calm down," Essie whispered, placing her hand on my arm.

It didn't take more than a minute before security showed. Mark stood along with another guard, looking between Serenity, me, and the woman. He could sense the stress and tension within the room — anyone could.

"Get her out. If I see her again, you're all fucking fired. Am I clear?" I firmly demanded.

"Please believe me," the woman lastly pleaded before being led out of the room.

I was fucking fuming.

"Baby, calm down. It's okay."

"Is she fucking serious? Coming in here making claims that she's my mother? I don't need anyone else here to mooch off my money and success. It's all bullshit."

"Harry, deep breaths. It's okay. She's gone, okay? Alright" Her voice was soothing as she placed a hand on my cheek, turning my face towards her.

And suddenly, everything started to drop down, a sinkhole forming without warning.  

"Can — can we go home?" I asked, and she nodded immediately.

"Of course we can, baby. Let's go," Essie spoke softly as she placed a kiss on the top of my hand, and she went to grab our things. She disappeared for a short while, and I knew she was unsure which papers to get, and that she probably stuffed my briefcase with everything she found on my desk.

She returned to me with my case in hand, along with our coats that we wore on the spot. The brief smile on her lips was enough for me to temporarily forget about what had just happened.

Serenity also made it seem like nothing actually happened — it was almost as if she was irrelevant. I knew that the topic would be brought up later, but for now, things remained back to the best normal we could be.

I made a single stop to the lobby just to give security a stern look, letting them know I was serious about what I said prior. The fear in their eyes flashed before them, and it was a dead giveaway to my words.

Essie just tugged me back into the lift to continue towards our original destination. The feeling of her hand clasped in mine was one that I never wanted to forget.

The ride was silent. All throughout our walk and drive back home — and by that, I meant Serenity's place.

It was now my home, too. It was amongst the several other things we shared together. I liked it that I had a key to it now. The fact that she was so close to fully trusting me again meant the world to me.

When we entered the apartment, Luna greeted me first at the door, and I petted her soft fur coat before grabbing an allergy pill from the cupboard and slumped down onto the couch.

I rested my head in my hands, and set my elbows on my knees, keeping my eyes tightly shut. I had a shit day enough as it is, and some random woman comes to put the cherry on the fucking top.

My whole body was tired and exhausted, barely able to do anything, but my girl silently forced me to wash my hands so I could eat something. Being in this foreign state, I couldn't even tell that I was starving. I was close to refusing, but she gave me a look that kept me quiet.

We ate in pin-dropping stillness, Luna watching us from her cat tree, while Serenity and I were sat at the dining table. At first, I thought it was awkward between us, and I just hoped it wasn't. I didn't want to indirectly push her away, but when she smiled at me and leaned over to place a kiss on my cheek, I knew it was otherwise.

It was just comfortable silence.

I put my thoughts on pause and just lived in the moment. We never talked about even the most mundane things, because I simply couldn't find it in me to speak. We just watched each other do the slightest movements, and occasionally, a content expression threw itself in the mix.

But time passed on, and even after the food was in our tummies, satisfied, we still remained seated in the same spot.

"Harry," my angel's voice spoke, and I looked up to meet her eyes, filled with worry and concern. "Let's have a shower. Come on, H."

With a weak nod, she grabbed hold of my hands and pulled us both towards her bathroom. She started up the water, adjusted the temperature, and returned to help strip me of my clothes.

I felt so useless and pathetic, not even able to undress myself. My whole body was shaking from vulnerability, and it made me want to hide in plain sight, never to appear again.

What was happening?

Nothing made sense, and I didn't even know what to do with it.

I knew the truth, but why was this affecting me so much more than I thought possible. She was just a woman who claimed to be my mother.

Fuck.

My mother.

It wasn't possible. I knew who my mother was — and her name was Lauren. But I just kept thinking to myself that maybe she wasn't. It's not like she fully treated me like her son. Things were always different between her and Tommy.

Maybe that's why.

But then there was my dad. He was obviously involved. If this Valentina woman was my biological mother, why didn't he treat me like I wasn't his son? I never did anything wrong to him. Or maybe he also wasn't my father. Knowing what was happening, anything seemed probable. All I wanted to do was make him proud, and that still wasn't enough. 

What did he want from me?

Did anyone want anything from me?

Did anyone even want me?

I know Serenity does, but if she never existed in my life, I would've been all alone — possibly forever

The simple thought of that made my bottom lip quiver and eyes shine with melancholy.

Essie helped me step into the tub, and we both felt the water above us. I never knew when she even turned on the shower as she pulled the curtain closed.

Not a word was uttered between us. I still couldn't speak, and Serenity remained silent through my struggling time. There was nothing concrete to let echo between all walls or the confined space we were in.

The only sound surrounding us was the shower water running and falling into the drain near our feet.

Slowly, she turned me around and grabbed the shampoo bottle to squirt some of it into her palm. Her hands lifted up into my hair, and my eyes immediately closed. The feeling over her fingers was relaxing over my scalp, massaging it softly, and then rinsed it out delicately. She repeated it with the conditioner, then gently washed my body. 

Every movement was careful and caring. It's how she always was with me.

When she started with herself, I found all the strength I had and was able to do the same for her. I barely made eye contact with her, and I could tell that she was close to protesting it, but she let me take over. My actions were slow, but I managed to finish in a decent time. I knew there wasn't much longer until the hot water started to cool down, but she made no move to rush me.

Serenity then turned around and held me close to her, pulling me into a tight embrace. My girl always tried to make me everything better — to make me feel better. However, this time, I wasn't sure if that was going to happen.

Before I knew it, I felt salty tears fell down the drain, staining my cheeks. It was the first time in months that pure agony possessed my body. The trauma swept through my veins down to the center of my core. The tips of my fingers and toes were numb — as was my mind. My sobs were gut-wrenching, grasped from the deepest trench of my soul.

I never knew just a brief reaction with a strange woman could affect me so much. It was pathetic — I was pathetic.

Essie constantly called me a tiger, but there were always times where I never felt that I was — this was one of those moments.

My legs gave out, but I pressed one palm against the shower tiles to try and stabilize myself; but most importantly, so that Essie wouldn't fall. I had already collapsed, but I couldn't let the love of my life tumble with me.

Even with the flame of my heart, I was alone.

It was only a few minutes that we shared together under the hot water before it turned to ice — but I couldn't feel it.

I only noticed when Serenity started to shiver, still keeping her arms wrapped around me.

Her eyes flickered over to me when I reached behind me to shut the water off — my cries diminishing with the pool of tears that cascaded down the back of the woman I love. I kept Essie close to me as I pulled a towel to wrap her around it, keeping whatever warmth I had left for her.

When I met her gaze, she showed me the slightest smile, and I embraced that to every part of my heart.

Serenity wanted me.

She didn't cheat me — it was genuine.

As I shook the towel around her, I held it and rested my forehead against hers. I just wanted to feel her breath against mine. See her up close and know how lucky I was to keep such a treasuring girl — one who I loved dearly. 

Every movement was intimate, pure, and real. This was my life, and I couldn't destroy it because of a hiccup that happened. She was by my side, and with whatever it was, I knew Essie would be there for me.

The cool draft in the bathroom didn't concern me as the numbness still seeped through my veins.

But I had to keep my Essie warm. 

And just as I dried her, she did the same for me, even grabbing me some warm clothes for us to wear. The coldness of winter wasn't something to mess with, and I was a person who hated that feeling. Getting sick was the last thing I needed — so she made sure that didn't happen.

She even blowdried my hair, smiling after finishing, then pulled my hood up, tying the strings together.

The look on her face warmed my body more than any heater — and I couldn't help but mimic it.

"I love you, Tiger."

"Thank you, baby," I said, cupping one cheek with caressing her skin with my thumb. "I love you to the stars and back."

Her blush and smile were worth the world and more. 

"Want a cuppa?" Serenity asked softly, after placing a light kiss on the palm of my hand, I let out a faint chuckle. "Knew that'd make you smile."

"Sounds good. Couch?"

"Yeah," I said, nodding once.

She never questioned if I wanted to talk about it, but just if I wanted something to drink — and I answered with a tea. Then she told me to sit on the sofa while she made our drinks.

My fingers pinched my bottom lip as I thought deeply — over and over again.

Brown hair. Dark, chocolatey eyes. Smooth, shaped brows. Tanned, olive skin. Spanish.

It didn't even make sense. If she was who she said she was, we didn't even look alike. There were no resemblances between us. I looked like my father — or so I thought, I did.

Sometimes, I don't even know if that was a compliment or a curse.

Essie reached up to push some fallen hair strands away from my forehead, she asked, "What are you thinking about, handsome?"

A teacup in her hand, Serenity sat beside me with a leg underneath her, and a foot on the ground. Passing it to me, I shook off my expression to look at my girl. Her hair was wrapped in one of my old tees, and the sight was endearing.

I held onto her hand before she pulled away to place a kiss on the top of it. "Beautiful."

The blush on her cheeks was positively adorable, but she just smiled through it.

Taking a few sips of the tea, I could feel her gaze on me. She was waiting for me to speak, to say something — anything.

"I don't understand, petal. I just — I don't fucking get it."

"I know there's a lot to not get, pretty. I can only see what you're going through. I'm sorry I can't help."

"There's just so much that doesn't make sense. If what she's saying is true, where the fuck has she been for the past two decades?"

"Harry, I'm sure that there's an explanation. I mean, there has to be."

"There can't be!" I snapped, and she jumped at the high volume of my voice.

"Hey, watch your tone with me," Serenity spoke sternly with a frown. "I didn't do anything."

"Fuck, I'm sorry, Essie. I didn't mean to," I replied, nearing her, rubbing my hand up her arm.

She sighed at my response. "You know, I think we both just need some rest. It's been a long day, and stressing about this right now won't do either of us any good. How's about we get some shut-eye and figure things out in the morning?" she suggested with a small smile. "Plus, I know you need a cuddle."

"I can never deny those," I spoke honestly, and she kissed my cheek.

"Let's go sleep, Tiger."

And when we made it to her bed, cosy and warm under the covers — I held her. I needed to hold onto something — someone.

I needed something tangible for me to grasp and still know that it was my reality. Emerald budged its way near my face sometimes, so I had to place it in the corner, but Serenity laughed whenever it travelled again whenever we moved around. So, she clutched Emmy to her stomach, keeping her hand placed over the two of us.

"I love you, Essie..." I whispered in her neck, "...so fucking much."

"Ditto, Tiger. I love you more."

I felt her drift off into sleep, but for the first time with her near me, I struggled falling into that slumber quickly.

My body stayed as still as possible, but all I wanted to do was toss and turn — but I couldn't wake her — and I didn't want to let go.

But after the exhaustion from work, the mind-destroying thoughts, and a splitting headache, my body sucked me into that abyss without a fight.

♬ ✥*

"Good morning, Mr Styles."

This morning was a continuation of last night. There wasn't much of a conversation between Serenity and me. I was starting to get bothered by myself for acting like this with her. She didn't deserve a cold treatment from me. All she wanted was to be by my side, and I was barely acknowledging her.

When I woke up this morning, I wasn't holding her; instead, Emerald was who I was clutching onto. Essie was making me breakfast, prepared my coffee, and let me sleep my exhaustion in. She called Iris to tell her that I'd be about an hour late, and it was just another thing that I loved about her — she knew exactly what I needed.

I gave her a kiss, and she corrected me by saying, "You're not getting a kiss now. You're getting kissy."

No doubt she made me smile through it.

When it came to getting dressed, she picked out the suit for me — which was something she never did before. Essie knew that I was a fashionable man, but she deliberately did so today because of one thing — colour selection.

She chose a powerful rose pink suit with a black button-down.

"Knock 'em all dead, handsome. Fuck the world, focus on yourself. You're my confident man that can conquer the world. Prove that not with your looks, but your talent. Pounce on them all. Make them your prey," she said, then grinned. "But hey, look damn sexy while you do it."

"Love you, Es."

"Oh, Tiger, I'd kill you if you didn't."

And with that, she held on tight to my suit jacket, kissing me passionately before letting me head off to work.

Archie was already waiting for me, and I was glad to see him. I didn't think today was one that I could actually drive. Everything was still heavy on my mind, and I felt the weight on my shoulders.

Even with how light Serenity tried to make me feel better, it wasn't enough to completely feel myself again.

My driver small-talked throughout the trip as I refused to check my phone, waiting for actually arriving to the company to let work take over every thought. I didn't want to put my brain into overdrive, so I knew it was best this way.

He did compliment my appearance, though. "You look cheerful today, Mr Styles."

It actually made me smile.

Serenity: 1
Harry: 1

Fuck, I loved her.

"Morning, Iris," I replied firmly. "Do I have any messages?"

"No messages. You have a meeting in a half-hour and one more at eleven."

"Thanks."

"Oh, um, actually, there is one more thing," she spoke hesitantly, but then remained silent.

"Spit it out, Iris. I don't have the patience this morning."

"The lady who came by yesterday left her number before you met with her. I'm aware she was kicked out, but I thought you should know I have that," her voice trembled, then handed me a piece of paper. I stared at it, debating what I should do with it. After a few moments, I snatched it from her hand and looked at her again.

"I need another coffee, so get that for me, would you?" I said, then mumbled a quiet "please" at the end.

Serenity would have my head if she heard how I was speaking with my employees. I already knew I was going to get an earful since she and Mark are close. He tends to have a chat whenever I act out.

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