Soz for the late update. My prof is not making my life easy. Ew. Anyway...

I really dig this chapter. Issanotha long one. I hope you enjoy it, you rosy tulips you 🌷

♬ ✥*

Harry.

"I like your place."

That was the first thing Serenity said after taking a few steps into my condo.

I held my girl close during the elevator ride with my arm around her waist as we faced the doors, avoiding the glass encasement. Nonetheless, I still heard her count quietly under her breath. I placed a soft kiss on her temple while she did so. She never commented about it, keeping to herself, but I swore I saw her lips curl up slightly even though her eyes were shut. I wanted to protect her and make sure she was safe around me — with me.

When we left the arena, the traffic was still bad, but we managed to get here as quick as we could — an hour, give or take. She sent a text to Amara about Luna, who was quick to reply with a 'no worries.' It was nice to see that Serenity had such a good friend that she could count on.

I wished I had one of those in my life.

But I have my Essie now, and that's infinitely better than just anyone.

When we walked into my building, we got a few stares from the workers, especially noticing my casual appearance, and holding hands with a girl — my special girl. The last time this happened, we weren't a couple, and the same thing happened.

It was surreal.

But it also made me uncomfortable.

I hated being stared at — simply because there was nothing to see.

The fact that Serenity saw something in me was still a miracle.

"You've been here before, remember?" I spoke as I watched her deep in thought, looking around my place. She turned to look at me with a soft smile on her lips.

"Oh, I know. But I never got a proper look at everything. I mean, it's all so bland and cold."

"Cold? I can turn up the hea—"

"Harry, it's like twenty-five degrees outside. It's still hot for this time of year. As much as I hate the cold, though, I love sweater weather." She laughed. "But, I meant that it lacks liveliness — that homey feeling."

"It's why I liked your place more. It's um, cosy," I shyly said, scratching the back of my neck. "D-do you want to decorate here?"

"The sardine can is cosy. Noted." She grinned, and I let out a soft chuckle. "I was going to do it anyway, but thanks for the permission."

"Infuriating."

"Difficult." Silently, she playfully narrowed her eyes at me, sticking her tongue out slightly. She looked absolutely adorable, and I adored this side of her.

Her carefree spirit was so pure and beautiful — I envied her for that.

"First, we're going to start off with some candles. Then maybe add some colour to brighten up that black and white personality of yours. I've also got to get this place out of its 'concrete zone.'"

"Hey," I whined. "That's not very nice."

"Yeah, well, neither is letting your poor plant sit all lonely over there with no one to talk to it."

"I — I do, just whenever I get the chance to," I spoke softly, and she let out a small sigh.

She made her way over to the greens in the corner, and delicately smoothed her fingertips over its leaves, then whispered, "He loves you, you know. I've kept up his time. I'm sorry."

I walked up to her as she turned towards me, a tender smile on her lips. 

"Are you sure Luna be fine on her own?"

"She'll be A-okay, Tiger. Don't worry about her. Plus, even if I stay longer, it won't make a difference. My parents, Milo, and Amara all have keys to my apartment. Any of them can check on her when need be. The last time I left with Mars on a trip, I agreed for Charlie to stay for the few nights he was in town. When I got back, I regretted it. I had to sanitise everything. Sometimes I think like he needs to be neutered," she said with a laugh.

And that was not an image I needed. I cleared my throat before replying, "I'm just making sure."

"Loonie's an understanding kitty, Harry. And don't forget, she has Emerald to keep her company."

"She likes him?"

"Loves. She carries him around whenever she goes in her little mouth. It's adorable," I paused, "It's funny, though, how she ignores him whenever you're around. It's like he's her temporary Emmy."

"He's in great condition," I noted on the appearance of the stuffed animal.

"Luna takes after me, she likes to keep things in a nice state. I've also noticed she claws at things that she doesn't like. So Emerald definitely won her over from day one."

"I'm glad."

"I'm glad I have you." 

♬ ✥*

It was a little strange having Serenity in my bed.

Ever since the first time we laid together, we were always in her bed. In her room. In her home.

She's only been to my company, and my condo, but it was only for business, and a pit-stop — nothing more.

Hell, I've never considered the fact that one day she would even want to come to my place. It was almost forgotten about because of how often I stayed with my Essie.

The fact was, though, she wanted a glimpse into my world — into my life.

There was one thing that she mistook — she is my life.

On our way home, we stopped by a place to grab some food before we came back to my condo since I knew there wasn't going to be anything actually edible in it. Well, truthfully, there was, it just needed to be cooked; and I wasn't going to let Serenity make something for me. She did things on her clock, but making her was a no on my watch.

That was other than the fact we were both exhausted.

A little earlier, we stood on the balcony for a little while because she wanted to enjoy the view. Essie commented on how beautiful everything was up this high. She wasn't afraid of heights, but only confinement. While she gazed out on the mountains and the Pacific, my view was much prettier — her.

The way her wavy hair flowed in the soft breeze, and how lively she got when she pointed out a place she recognised. Her sapphire gems sparked in excitement as she did so. The tangerine-toned lipstick she wore had faded, but her lips were curled up in a joyful smile. Visible under her makeup, freckles were dotted upon her cheeks, just as clusters of stars filled the cosmos.

My beautiful Starlight.

She caught me looking at her, moving her view towards my eyes, but I saw the faint blush creep upon her cheeks. We didn't share any words, but I knew she could tell the adoration I had for her. Her gems reflected my own, and we both had an identical expression.

Believing that she couldn't handle my gaze anymore, she decided to head inside — so I followed her.

I watched her walk around my place, making herself at home as she observed her surroundings; but she never went anywhere without asking me first. Nonetheless, she wanted my permission to get a glass of water, enter my bedroom, and even the ensuite.

Madison never asked.

She simply acted like she owned the place.

Luckily for her, though, I didn't have this condo when we were together. I lived in a small two-bedroom apartment far from downtown — one was my bedroom, the other I converted as my office. I had no view of the Pacific or the Rockies; instead, I had the pleasure of looking into the building next door. My bedroom window faced theirs, and they were single pane, so sound easily travelled. The man's girlfriend was a flight attendant, and whenever she came home, I definitely knew.

It was very different from the lavish life I'm now used to, but it was comfortable at that time.

My neighbours were lovely. There was an older woman, Marie, next door who had a small chihuahua, Pepper, who was very friendly. However, I couldn't be closer than a meter away from her, because I was even more allergic to dogs than I am to cats — she understood, though. Ralph, a middle-aged man, never said greeted a soul but would tip his head in a small nod whenever he saw me. I always gave him a smile, but he refused to return it. The single mum and her teenage boy who lived above me had a tendency to argue, but still had manners. He even helped watch Pepper when need be.

But there was one thing they all had in common, they didn't like when Madison showed up. I got complaints that she was too loud or that she parked too close to their cars and they couldn't get out properly in the mornings. It was me that would snatch her keys from the kitchen counter and adjust her parking.

They always thanked me — and I always apologised.

Madison knew all of my goals, through university and post graduating, and while I worked my way up to CEO. It was the only reason she stayed. The amount of money I had in the bank was increasing every month, and she loved that.

She rarely tell me that she was proud of me and my goals, and there was an occasional "I'm happy for you, Harry." It took me years to realise all of them were fake.

The first thing I bought when I saved enough money was a car. I had a beat-up grey 1998 Honda Accord that took me from point-A to point-B, and it was reliable. I kept it in pristine condition or the best as to how it was when I got it until Madison borrowed it because she was running late for an exam. That was the day she got in a car accident, breaking her one of her wrists and nose.

She blamed it on me.

I was at home, asleep, and dreaming about proposing to her — we were together for just over a year at the time.

Apparently, the car's airbags hit her too hard, and it was the reason why she ended up having to get a nose-job. It was also one that I paid for. She was too concerned about how she looked, not thankful that she didn't go flying through the windshield.

I managed to buy the SUV I have now from the insurance money and some of the savings I had now, which I bought brand new — my black Lexus RX350. I've taken great care of it since.

The look on her face that day puzzled me because she thought it was a get-well present for her. I never let her drive it, though. She wasn't too fond of that, and I simply said, "Pumpkin, it's because I don't want to see you get hurt again." It was the first lie I ever told her — that, and calling her by the nickname she didn't like. I wasn't going to risk my new car ending up with the same fate. 

However, I let Serenity drive it — and we weren't even dating.

I mean, she did put me in a position that I couldn't really refuse, but somehow, I trusted her.

And I trust her with my life.

When we entered my bedroom, I grabbed her a couple things so she could change into; and then I saw her in my clothes, and my heart skipped a beat. It definitely wasn't the first time, but whenever she did, I felt fuzzy and something else that I simply couldn't explain.

We washed up together in the bathroom, and she refused to use the double sink as she shared mine. She wanted to be a little closer to me, and I didn't complain — it was mutual.

In bed, Essie scooted towards me, and I smiled. We laid on our sides, facing each other, becoming our accustomed routine.

"I've missed this," I whispered.

"Being in bed with someone?" she answered quietly.

"Well, yeah — but no, being with you. It just feels so good. I'm always well-rested in the morning. You give me nice dreams, and just being held..." I paused. "...It's fucking magical."

"Ditto, Tiger."

A comfortable silence then filled the air around us, and it was a feeling I loved.

Her fingers reached to play with mine before she got even closer to place her lips upon my own. I was taken off guard by her action but quickly responded.

Our soft, gentle kiss heated up faster than I expected. She pushed herself up and straddled my body, her actions filled with fervour and passion. Her hands cupped my cheeks while mine settled on her hips. It was as if she was waiting for something, but I wasn't sure what.

I was so fucking awkward, and it only confused me.

It was clear that Essie noticed that, so she slowed her actions and raised her body to sit a bit more upright. My eyes remained closed, but we were both catching our heavy breaths. Her hands travelled down from my cheeks and settled on my bare chest.

The feeling of her touch against my skin set my soul ablaze. Every time her fingertips simply feathery, it never failed to raise goosebumps all over my body. I relished and cherished the sensation of the contact we had.

My eyes fluttered open, and I looked up to see her gaze soft on me. A small smile curled up on her swollen, pink lips, seeing her cheeks heavily flushed. I couldn't help but return the same expression. I was so gone for this woman.

My woman. My flower — one that I could simply feast upon.

Slowly, Essie moved and settled back to how she was. Her body neared me further so that I could feel her warm breath against my face. She took hold of my hand and placed a tender kiss upon my palm, and then pressed it above her heart.

Fuck. She was so gentle and affectionate with me.

But not to the point where she felt I was fragile and would break. I appreciated her for that — amongst many other things.

"Can I ask you something?" she whispered.

"You just did." A smirk tugged at my lips, and she pursed her own into a frown. "Go ahead, baby."

She let out a soft sigh before speaking. "Promise you won't get upset? I mean, if you also don't want to answer it, you don't have to. It's just something I've been curious about."

"I can't promise you then, can I? I don't know what it is yet."

"True. Okay, so, um..." she trailed off, hesitant with her thoughts. "...why is it that you ask when you kiss me? Or tell me to kiss you. I mean, almost always, it's one-sided. But don't get me wrong, I love that, but I just feel like there's a little more to why you do it."

Fuck.

How do I even answer that?

I've never noticed.

Is it because I thought that I shouldn't have control? I dream otherwise, but reality is different.

With Serenity, I've slowly been moving towards finding that, but I never feel successful with it. It's always why I end up asking her.

But is this what she was waiting for earlier? For me to take control?

"You never noticed that, have you?" she asked, clearly knowing the truth based on my sudden glum expression.

"No." I shook my head in shame. "I haven't."

From that, she moved back just slightly to see me better.

"You know, it's okay to be like that. But from what I've felt, it seems like you want to have that power over me. I've always liked guys who are dominant in relationships. I mean, I've only dated two guys..." she trailed off quietly.

Frankly, I didn't need to hear to know she was with other men. But I shared my toxic relationship, I should know hers. Maybe I can learn how to be better.

"Hear me out, baby." A soft smile curled on her lips. "It's fun once in a while for me to take control, and I like it when you ask me, it makes me feel special. I just — I sense that insecurity with you every time you want to do it."

"I guess it's hard for me." I sighed. "I always had to ask Madison to touch her — even if it was just an innocent kiss. It didn't occur to me that it should be any other way."

"Consent is key in a relationship, that's a given. But, Harry, it's not about 'should.' There's no rule that says that it has to be a certain way, because everyone's different. I just feel that you just don't know what to do otherwise," she said, then bit her lip nervously. "Have you never heard it from someone else? Any of your friends back in uni say anything about how their relationships are?"

"What friends?" I whispered. "I spent most of my time working and making sure I got the best grades in my classes so I could be successful. Everyone else would use me for my surname, so I didn't bother trying — especially while I was with my ex. I never really had a life when I was with her."

"But you can be successful with your personal life, too. It's not just your work life that has to be that way."

"I know relationships are supposed to be two-ways, but I never knew what it was like with intimacy — special nicknames, who's more dominating, and um, cuddling. I don't know, it's the smaller things, I guess."

"Harry, relationships have to be healthy, especially when two people lo—like each other," she paused, clearing her throat. "There needs to be trust, loyalty, confidence, support, reliability, passion, and care. Of course, there's so much more, but we can just use those as the basics," she spoke softly, "Can I ask you something else?"

"Okay."

"Did she make you believe she was, um, superior to you?"

"Yeah. Sometimes."

"Did she ever hug you or treat you with respect."

"In the beginning, maybe..." I spoke softly, remembering my wretched past, "...then things started to change. I wasn't sure why, and I didn't want to ask. Felt like if I did, then I was doing something wrong."

She nodded, then kept quiet for a little, seeming in deep thought about something. "Did you trust her?"

"My whole heart was hers, and I trusted her with everything in me. Well, except when I got my car. I didn't then, but it was the only thing." I let out a deep sigh, closing my eyes tightly before opening them again. "Anyway, like I said, it was all good in the beginning — everything. It felt like a dream, but it turned out to be a fucking nightmare."

"Come here," she spoke, motioning me to scoot closer to her. "I don't ever want you to feel like you can't trust me. I want you to be able to feel comfortable being vulnerable around me. You can try doing things on your own, the things you felt like you weren't able to do with her. If I don't like it, I'll tell you. It's that two-way street with us. Okay?"

Hesitantly, I nodded, letting her words sink in.

I was going to try — with consent, of course.

"And if for any reason, I stop acting the way you believe I should act in a healthy relationship, I need you to tell me. I will try to be what you deserved so that you won't have to experience what you went with her. It wasn't just your relationship with Madison that was toxic, Harry, she was toxic."

"I trust you," I said, then chose to whisper my next words, "With all my heart."

"Kiss, please?" A smile formed at her words, mimicking how I'd always ask her.

And I kissed her without having to think twice about it, giving her a smile with it.

She wanted to give me the control that I wished I could have since I met Madison — and my Serenity was giving it to me.

I was no stranger to dominance, because that was exactly what my relationship was. There were the rare occasions I had it, which always had a