The air was thick with sadness. From young to old, everyone was sad.

Dull.

Filled with tanks of tears which they let fall from their eyes freely.

"Is this really happening?" Jimin whispered to Taehyung.

"It is... Jiminie. It... Is..." Taehyung whispered weakly.

"You're leaving me? Just- just like that? What am I gonna do without you here Tae?" Jimin hiccupped.

"You will... be fine Jimin. You're the strong one... aren't you?"

"I am not. I don't think- think I'll be able to endure this like you. You've gone through a lot and maybe putting you to rest is the only way. Am I selfish for not wanting you to do it?"

"No.... No Jimin. You're not. I could never understand what you're... Feeling but you're... Not selfish... Okay?"

Jimin nodded furiously, choking on his sobs.

"Tae? It's time." Jin said from the door of the room, wiping his eyes in a futile attempt to stop crying.

He and Jimin helped Taehyung into a wheelchair and he was taken to the hospital garden.

The same place where he and Jungkook had spent time.

He smiled a little as he remembered that day. If only he could relive it.

Sadly, his life was ending in a few hours.

"Hey." Jungkook said as he walked up to Taehyung, his eyes red.

"Hey." Taehyung whispered as he was carried out from the wheelchair, to a blanket on the ground and was wrapped with another one.

Everyone sat in a circle. Sad smiles on their faces and tears running down a few cheeks.

Jimin.

Hoseok.

Yoongi.

Namjoon.

Seokjin.

Mr Kim.

Mrs Jeon.

Mr Jeon.

And finally Jungkook who sat behind Taehyung, supporting him.

"Hi..." Taehyung said faintly to everyone in the circle.

"Hi." Everyone responded.

"What do you... say when you're... About to die? Jin hyung... Can you help with this one?" Taehyung requested as the said male looked up from his lap.

"What?" He whispered.

"You're... The one who's good... with dad jokes."

At the attempt to make a joke, Seokjin began to cry.

"Don't try to make me feel better now Taehyung. It's not helping. You're leaving us forever."

"Hyung... I'm... Not leaving... Just think of... It as me... Traveling for... A while..."

"And you wouldn't call?" Yoongi added as he finally looked at Taehyung.

His pale skin and dark eye bags weren't a good combination.

"Hyung... You look... Like shit..."

"Thanks kid." Yoongi said as he sent a tight lipped smile to Taehyung.

"Tae... How are you handling this so we'll? You're not even showing any emotions. Cry. Do what you want. Yell! Something! You're scaring me!" Jimin said, holding his hand.

"I'm scared Minnie. What if I don't like... what's on the other side? What if it's filled with darkness? What... What if there's nothing there?"

Jungkook took Taehyung's hand, rubbing his thumb lightly over the pale skin.

He wasn't even going to try to say anything. He knew his voice would fail him.

So he wanted to cherish this moment for a long while. The feeling of Taehyung in his arms.

"And Jimin... How can I yell... When I can't... Even talk normal without taking... A long breath... Or breaking..." Taehyung said as he laughed humorlessly.

"I just... Want to say I love all of you. I've known some of you longer than the others, but everyone has a special place in my heart.

Before I go, I want to say that... Jin hyung, I used to steal... your apple juice from the... fridge when you fell asleep... on the couch."

"So it was you! I want my apple juice! You're lucky you're cute."

"Hyung... Can you even... See what I look... Like? You're... Still calling me cute?" Taehyung said, shaking his head. Seokjin only sent a small smile his way.

"Yoongi hyung... I was the one who broke... your favorite skateboard when... you brought it to the house. I... tend to destroy... things a lot."

"Mr and Mrs Jeon... The parents of my loving boyfriend... Thank you for helping with my hospital bills. You don't have... to act shocked. I figured it out. Thank you for bringing... this big baby to me."

The Jeons smiled tenderly, Mrs Jeon mouthing a small 'you're welcome'.

"Namjoon hyung... I tried playing the keyboard... and learning a few tunes when I came... over to your house... I got upset that... I kept messing it up... And so I cut... the wire and broke... the keyboard. I hoped... to buy you one when... I finally started working... and earning my own money... Guess that's not... happening. I'm dying."

Namjoon shook his head, "you can break many more keyboards. I can never be angry with you."

"That's a lie..."

"Maybe." Namjoon muttered as he and Taehyung laughed in unison.

"Jiminie... I've done a lot of stuff... to you that... I'm sorry for putting... hair dye in your shampoo.... The most common... pranks of all. I learnt it from... five minutes crafts... Or switching the keys... on your keyboard or sticking gum... on your seat. I'm sorry for being... the worst best friend ever. Forgive me?"

Jimin chuckled as he replied, "I liked the color purple."

Taehyung smiled weakly as he turned to face his father, "Appa... Where do I... even start? Where am I supposed to start... thanking you? From when eomma died? Or... from when you started taking care of me... because I got Niphoria. Or since... I was born? I don't... even know what to say to you appa... You were the perfect... dad. The best father that... anyone could ask for and I'm sorry... that I wasn't the perfect son. I'm sorry appa."

"You're the perfect son Taehyung. I could never trade you for even what they call perfection because if it even existed, it would be you my son. I just can't believe that... I carried you in my arms when you were born. I changed your diapers and you peed on my face and into my coffee once."

Everyone laughed as dry tear streaks were on their faces.

"But now you're dying before me. It's not right Taehyung."

Taehyung just let the tears fall.

What was the use of trying to hold them back if it was the last time he was going to cry?

"I'm sorry appa... I didn't mean... To."

"Of course you didn't. Life is just cruel." The man said as he walked away from the group.

The Jeon parents followed soon after, to comfort the grieving man.

One by one, everyone began to leave, leaving the couple alone.

"Kookie..." Taehyung finally called out after a few minutes of silence and listening to birds chirping and trees rustling.

"Tae..." Jungkook croaked, his face buried in Taehyung's neck.

"You know... I love you right?" Taehyung whispered as he rubbed Jungkook's arm.

"I love you Tae. Don't- don't leave me... Please."

"Jungkook. You... You have to... Move on..."

"No! I can't T-Tae. You're the one I love. No one can take your place. No one."

"This... This... Is going to... Be the last... Favor I'll ask... Of you... Okay?"

"Anything Taehyung. What do you want m-me to do?"

"Move on... When I'm gone... J-jungkook." Taehyung said as painful tears slid down his cheeks.

"N-no."

"Promise me this... That when I'm... When I'm gone... You'll move on... Promise me now.... Or I'll never rest... Please Jungkook... Promise me..."

"I promise." Jungkook whispered, hiccuping and placing a light kiss on Taehyung's neck, "you are my first love Tae. You're the only one I could love like this."

"Kookie... You're my first... And only love... We have to... Go inside... For..."

"Let's just stay like this... For a while... Please." Jungkook pleaded, in-between sobs as he began rocking their bodies back and forth gently.

Some minutes later, he started humming.

And then the words slipped from his mouth:

Why are my eyes filled with tears?
Hey, stay by my side and laugh
A future without you is a world without colour
Filled with monochrome coldness
Even the darkness is so beautiful

I want you to believe me
Only looking straight at you
Not going anywhere

Whatever is waiting for me in the future
Look far into the distance
The place you gave me is still
Where my heart entrusts

Shadows of the past keep on chasing me
But the more I try to escape and struggle, the more it follows me
But I still want to hold onto it, wherever you are
I'll find you and walk into the next day with you

Even it seems to be the beginning of the end
I'll call your name
The gazing eyes are so colourful
I will do everything I can
Hide those unachievable dreams inside my heart

To face the past and the future
It's nights like these that I keep on thinking
How much hope is needed to reach you
In the city at dusk

To be loved, to love someone, I'll become your eye
For the adventure that lies ahead

Even the darkness is so beautiful
I want you to believe me
Only looking straight at you
So you don't go anywhere
The gazing eyes are so colourful
You have taught me that
Someday, the sadness will wind us together

Ah-ah-ah
Your eyes, they tell
Ah-ah-ah-ah

When Jungkook had finally looked down at Taehyung, he was sound asleep.

He let himself cry.

Freely.

His body racked with the sobs and his body shook with the intensity of them.

He wasn't ready.

He just couldn't.

From a big window, everyone watched the two lovers who were in the garden.

It was a hard time. For everyone.

The nurse with sad eyes, walked up to Jungkook tapping him on the shoulder.

"Is- is it time?" he asked, his eyes teary.

"Yes. It's two o'clock. Let's put him on the wheelchair."

"No. No. I'll... I'll carry him." Jungkook said as he lifted the weak boy bridal style and walked into the hospital.

"The elevator..." The nurse trailed, not having the heart to disturb them.

"Is there... A staircase I can use?"

"Yes. Over there." She said, pointing at a for and helping him open it.

"Thank you." Jungkook whispered as he walked up the stairs.

He wanted to savor the remaining moments he had with Taehyung and if walking to his room from the staircase even though his legs were killing him was the only way, he'd do it a thousand times.

Just to have Taehyung in his arms longer.

He finally arrived at the floor which Taehyung's room was and in front of the door was everyone Taehyung called family.

The ones who were crying.

The ones with sad smiles and the ones who couldn't even look in their direction.

Jungkook sent the doctor a small smile, his eyes pleading not to do it.

"This way Jungkook." She said as she opened the door, guiding Jungkook and Taehyung to the bed.

"I don't want him to leave."

"You'll... You'll always have him in your heart."

Jungkook nodded as he placed Taehyung gently on the bed.

"Please... Make it as painless as possible."

The doctor nodded sympathetically as she ushered Jungkook out of the room.

The nurse walked in and they closed the door to the room, stopping everyone from looking in.

"Taehyung?" The nurse called as the young boy blinked his tired eyes open.

"Am I gonna... die now?" He asked, fear filling his every being.

"You wouldn't even know when it happens Tae. I'll just give you the injection now okay?"

Taehyung blinked as he stared up at the ceiling.

"Please... I... I have something I want to give them... But you'll give... It to them... For me."

"Sure. Anything." The nurse responded.

"In the closet... There are a few envelopes... Please give it to them... when I'm... I'm gone."

"I will Taehyung."

"I'm... I'm ready... Tell everyone that... I love them..."

"Taehyung... You wouldn't die immediately remember? So you can talk to anyone before you go."

"Okay."

The nurse connected the heart rate sensor to Taehyung's hand and turned on the machine.

The faint beeping of the machine began to arise in the room.

The doctor opened the medicine tray and took out an injection that contained a clear liquid.

And within a minute, she was through with injecting Taehyung with the liquid.

"It's done." The doctor said as she walked out of the room.

She just nodded to the family members who were outside and they understood what had happened.

"Is he... Is he dead?" Jimin asked, his heart thumping hard in his chest.

"Not yet."

"I... I can't be here... When it happens." He mumbled as he ran away from them, his boyfriends following him.

"Namjoon... I don't know what I'll do..." Seokjin cried as he fell into the arms of Namjoon who patted his back as he stared up to the boring white ceiling, tears falling from his eyes.

"Jungkook..." Mr Kim called out.

Jungkook looked up from his teary hands and stood up from the waiting chair, walking up to the man.

"You should go in. He'll want to see you."

"I- I can't."

"These are his last moments son. Let him spend it with someone he loves."

"He loves you too sir. Maybe you should go."

"I'll force you into that room if I have to." Mr Jeon finally spoke.

"You should go Jungkook."

Jungkook nodded, sighing and wiped his eyes as he walked into the room where Taehyung lay.

"Tae." Jungkook called out as he hurriedly walked to his lovers side, settling on a chair.

"Does it hurt?" Jungkook asked as he held Taehyung's hand, rubbing the skin gently.

"No..." Taehyung whispered.

"Do you want to go to sleep?"

"I... Want to go... To sleep." Taehyung mumbled as the beeps in the heart monitor began to slow down.

"I love you Kim Taehyung. So much."

"I love... You... My prince." Taehyung whispered as the heart monitor flat lined.

"Tae..." Jungkook whispered as he stared in shock at his lover.

He wasn't dead yet. There was no way.

"Tae? Answer me." He said, standing from the seat and sitting on the bed.

"Come on Tae. This really- it isn't happening. Answer me. You just called me your prince."

No response.

Jungkook's heartbeat began to quicken.

Taehyung was... Gone.

No way.

"Taehyung!" he yelled.

Was his voice going to bring back his love?

No.

It wasn't possible.

Taehyung was dead.

forgive me!

I'm so sorry!

forgive me!!!!!

I...

I dunno!

this hurt. a lot.

and as usual, I didn't write the emotions as well as i wanted to.

sorry again!

oh!

and before you give up on the book, I'm sorry.

it's just the epilogue left and then we're done with exchange student forever.

so don't just go until then.

see you last chapter.

until next time!

'peace out 💟

current me:

while editing this chapter, I acted it out on my own

and I'll give myself a pat on the back.

I did act well and I realized although I didn't write down the emotions properly, I gave a good idea of what they were feeling ig?

but my acting was pretty good.

like I brought the tears naturally!

I deserve an oscar. really.