I can see the unforgiving sun, burn through the blinds and into my eyes as I try to open them. My whole body aches as I try to get up off the kitchen tiles. My mussels and my brain both scream in protest but my body ignores them and counties to get up, and get ready for school. I make my way to the stairs without toppling over. Ok. So far so good then.  I climb them slowly trying now to injure myself anymore. When I get into my room I’m careful not to make a lot of noise in case I wake my dad up. When I’m safely in my room with the door locked I walk to my mirror and take a good look at the damage done.

My clothes from yesterday were covered in blood. I had what looked like two tattoos of hand prints on both my cheeks, and bruises all over my arms, a busted lip and a black eye. Dried blood from my nose and lip were still on my face, hands and clothes as well as in my rat nest like hair. I had bags under my eyes from lack of a good night sleep because every half hour I would wake up and the slightest noise wondering what was to happen next. 

I flinched at my sudden appearance. I’ve gotten into fights before but I never came out with more than a scratch, now look at me. Why didn’t I fight back last night? I questioned myself. Because you deserved it, my inner voice told me. I sighed quietly and got undressed, and hoped into the shower. The hot water relaxed my muscles more but stung my cuts and bruises. When I got out I noticed bruising on my ribcage area and the sides of my stomach were I had been kicked. Oh, well I thought, and shrugged it off. Its not like he really hurt me, or he’ll do it again. There’s no need to worry, but my inner voice wouldn’t keep its mouth shut and it just told me that I would just screw up somehow again and get him angry just like last night. I pushed the though in the back of my mind before getting dressed. I put on tight black skinny’s to hide the bruises on my legs, a short sleeve shirt and a hoodie over it to cover my arms. I would have worn a long sleeve tee but I needed the hood to cover my face and there was no need in over heating myself. I left my hair flat and only put on dark eyeliner for makeup. Slipping on my converse I headed out the door, with my book bag in hand ready for another day of school. I pulled my hood up over my face, careful enough to make sure it stayed and covered my face without the chance of falling. 

My Ipod was on full blast while I listened to Dubstep music but my eyes always wondered around me for any sight of Brandon. I would have to been extra careful not to run into him today because I knew I was too tired to help myself if the opportunity came for him. The sun beaded down on my black outfit but it felt nice. I love the heat. People around me looked at me weird once again, but this time because they were in shorts and a t shirt not in pants and sweat shirt. I took an apple out of my bad and started to eat it while my hair feel around my face, and I looked down at the ground, silently making my way towards school. 

When I entered the school grounds I kept my head down still. I proceeded to make my way were I knew my new friends would be. Were Raven would be. About to walk into the open and straight towards them I stopped in my tracks as I watched them. Matt, Jack, and Jen along with Raven now were all sitting in a circle talking. Jen said something to Matt which made him blush as her and Jack both started laughing. Poor, shy Matt. I thought to myself smiling and shaking my head. I watched them some more before I saw Ravens head turned towards me. I knew he couldn’t see me because it was dark from shade were I was standing but he still kept staring this way. I stared back trying to read his expression, movement and his eyes but he looked away way to quickly when Jen asked him something. I ducked behind a pillar and looked back at him. He just shrugged and looked back this way but I thought I saw a frown appear on his face, but it faded just as quickly as it came. Everyone looked like they were having such a good time. I didn’t want to interrupt them. You would just make them all depressed my inner voice said to me. Don’t go over there. I listened. I took one more look at the group and at Raven before walking away. Raven was still looking over here and I saw him get up and start to walk this way. Luckily for me I was already ahead of him and ducked into a different way around the school. One that had lots of shade, that made it easy for me to blend in with my black clothing one. When I was sure he was gone I let out a long sigh and closed me eyes. 

“Were do you think your going.” a husky voice asked me. I jumped twenty feet thinking it was Brandon and how my plan ALREADY must have failed to stay away from him, but when I opened my eyes I was looking back into bright green ones, not dark brown. My face was expressionless as let my hair fall in front of my face not willing to take any chances of him seeing. He would just take pity on you the voice said. I mentally nodded, and shut my eyes slowly backing away from him. When I opened them he was still there walking the same pace towards me, not letting the distance between us be any more than it already was. I felt my back hit the wall and suppressed a scream at the sudden pain that it caused. I bit my lip hard but let out a little whimper at how badly that hurt. I mean come on! I self hurt myself in all certain ways and now I’m being a fucking wimp when it comes to pain! What the hell is up with that?! Raven didn’t hear or he chose to ignore it because he made no sign that he new I was hurt as he moved closer towards me slowly as if trying not to frighten me. 

“don’t” I chocked the words out of my mouth, as the distance between us started to become less and less with each moment that passed. 

“And why not?” he asked right into my ear, his eyes closed. “I beg you ash.”

My body stiffened at the sound of my nick name he had given me was said again. 

“tell me what’s wrong.” he pleaded. Sadness clear in his voice. He lifted his hand and I flinched away thinking he was going to hit me, but instead he moved the hair out of my face, but I turned my head quickly just in time so he wouldn’t see anything. I could sense he was getting angry and I didn’t like it.

“Damit ash tell me what’s going on!“ he demanded but I kept silent. 

“fine.” we all he said as he quickly grabbed his bag that I didn’t notice was on the ground till now, and ran off in a hurry.” I let out a breath as I fell to the ground and placed my head on knees, breathing heavily at everything that has happened.