The next day went by slowly in the drag of Sunday blues. I stayed home, cleaned my room, and started my homework after the sun went down. Dad was working a long shift tonight.

I was sitting in my room finishing up an assignment when I heard a tap on my window. It was a single knock and I brushed it off as something that just fell from the tree by my room.

Then came another single knock. I set down my pencil and got out of my chair to investigate.

I pulled up a single blind to see what it was and there was Declan, leaning over towards the ground and picking something off of the ground.

I drew the blinds up and opened my window completely, about to ask him what the hell he was doing. I realized too late that he had been throwing pebbles at my window, and he realized too late that I was at my window when he threw the next one, smacking me square in the forehead.

"Ow, what the fuck!" I grabbed at my forehead, turning away from the window as I heard Declan cussing from the ground.

I was too busy rubbing away the pain that I didn't even notice Declan had quickly climbed up to my room until I felt his hands wrap around my arms to turn me towards him.

"I'm sorry, hey I'm sorry. I didn't see you when I threw it, I swear I didn't. Are you okay?" He pulled my hands away to check my forehead himself.

"No, that hurt," I complained. He dropped my hands and held my face instead as he inspected it. "Is it red?"

"Yeah," He mumbled regretfully. "It was just a little pebble though, you might get like a tiny bruise."

He brought a thumb over the spot where it hurt, brushing over it lightly and I guessed he was checking for a bump. I felt my eyes slightly widen when he brought my face closer and gave a gentle peck over the pain.

He pulled away just as quickly, his eyebrows raised at himself in an awkward look. "Um- force of habit I guess, I'm sorry."

I pulled away from him, taking a step back even though I wanted to stay wrapped up in his arms longer. "Sorry for what... exactly?" I hesitated to ask.

"All of it Row," He said without skipping a beat. "You were right about me being an asshole. I didn't mean to take anything out on you."

He waited a moment, taking in a breath and finding the right words. "I've just been going through some family stuff and it's left me feeling really angry and confused with my dad. Only I can't take it out on him, and I made a mess of things trying to bottle it all up."

"Can you tell me why you're angry with your dad?" I asked slowly as if I were afraid he was going to scatter off any moment.

"He lied to me. He's lied to me for years and now it's too late to fix anything and I don't know what I'm supposed to fucking do Rowena."

"What did he lie to you about?"

He didn't say anything for a moment, sticking both hands in his hair and running it through. "They're moving my dad to hospice."

"Hospice? You mean like..." I couldn't fish my sentence. All I could do was wait for him to go on. He walked to the bench by my vanity mirror and sat down. I came to him and placed myself beside him.

"He um..." He started, struggling to get his words out. "He has a terminal lung disease, um-" He closed his eyes and pinched his brows together, trying to remember something. "Pulmonary fibrosis. He's known about it for years and he didn't do a damn thing about it. The only reason he came clean about it now is because they're moving him... to hospice."

"Why wouldn't he tell you guys about it?"

"He said it would have been pointless. The doctors were pushing for a lung transplant and all he did was argue the complications of that and how much money it would cost him. So, he threw himself into work but that made him stress and stress makes him smoke." He paused to shake his head. "He did the fucking opposite of helping himself, he just made it worse. Now he's not even eligible for a transplant."

"Jesus Declan," I breathed out. I had no idea what he was going to say when he showed up here tonight, but this wasn't what I was expecting.

"Do you know how long he has?" I practically whispered.

"Could be anywhere from a few weeks to a few months, I guess. Not long enough either way."

I nodded my head in agreement, not knowing what else to say. What the hell could I possibly say to make him feel better? I felt so completely useless right now. So I didn't say anything. Instead, I leaned in closer to him and rested my head on his shoulder, molding into his side as he moved his arm to give me room.

"Have you tried to talk to him?" I asked, suddenly wondering.

"I can't. I don't know how," he said. I pulled away for a moment so I could look at him.

"If you wait too long Declan you're going to regret not trying." He thought about that for a bit, then gave me a tight nod. I settled my head on his shoulder again.

"I don't know why I couldn't tell you before," He said after a while, his arm wrapped around my shoulders and his head rested on top of mine. "I really wanted to, but I couldn't bring myself to say it out loud."

"It's okay, I get it now. That's not something easy to talk about, so thank you. I'm here for you, okay?" He squeezed me a little tighter and rubbed my back as we sat in silence for a minute.

"You want to get out of here?" I asked him. "We can go play pool at the bowling alley... Or get a milkshake from the diner." I looked up at him.

He gave a small smile at the thought. "That sounds nice," He agreed. I let him use the front door this time.

————————

We came back to my house after doing both things we mentioned. It was nice to spend time with him with the air finally cleared. Declan was smiling again and we joked around and laughed like nothing was ever wrong.

It was late for a school night, so I was getting ready for bed. Declan waited in my room for me, deciding he wanted to stay for a little while longer.

I took a quick shower, tying my hair up so it didn't get wet as I scrubbed my body. I finished brushing my teeth, washing my face, and changing into my usual pajamas of sweat shorts and a tank. I took a quick check in the mirror, taking my hair down and fluffing it little before I was ready to go back out.

Declan was sitting by my desk, fiddling with my jewelry box when I walked into the room. "You okay?" I asked him.

He gave me a hum in response then looked towards me. He got up from the bench and made his way over and took my hands in his. "I'm sorry," He said, raising a hand to tuck some hair behind my ear. "For the way I treated you, for not giving you a chance to explain. I'm sorry for shutting you out, that was really dumb of me. I'm glad I told you and I had a really good night with you."

"Does this mean you're trying to leave me now?" I asked him, leaning in closer and looking up at him. He took my face in his hands. "Not if you keep looking at me like that," He said.

I reached up to kiss him and he met me halfway. His kiss was gentle and it didn't last long before he pulled back, still holding my face and looking like he had something to say.

"What is it?"

He looked down at my mouth, dragging a finger over my bottom lip. He looked back up to meet my gaze before he said, "I love you."

"You don't have to do that," I said. I didn't like the way it came out when I told him, but it was true. I did love him. But just because I said it didn't mean he had to say it back.

"No, I mean it Row. I love you. And I bet everything that I felt this way about you longer than you have about me."

I let out a breath of laughter. "It's not a competition Declan."

"But if it was, I would totally win," His smile slowly died after that, looking more serious as he studied me. "I love your confidence and the way you put me in my place. I love your humor and the way you care about everyone. I love how you scrunch your nose when you laugh because it always reminds me to admire your little freckles," He went on and I felt my face warm and my pulse getting faster as he dragged his hands down my arms. "I love this single dimple you have at the bottom of your smile," He said, reaching a hand up and poking my face where my dimple was. It made me smile a little and he reached over to kiss me there. "and I love that you look at me like you love me too."

"I do love you," I said and his lips were on mine again. I decided at that moment that I would never get tired of kissing him.

I stood taller on my tiptoes, giving myself better access to his lips. He folded his lips around mine as he wrapped his arms around me. I loved this part, the warmth it sent down to my toes, and the perfect daze it put me in.

I didn't realize we were moving back until Declan fell onto my bed. He was still sitting up and I sat with him, on him, straddling my hips with his.

He reached up to kiss me again with one hand gripping the side of my neck and the other pulling me closer by my lower back. I tangled my fingers in his hair. His gentle kisses from before were gone now as he slipped his tongue in my mouth.

I tugged my fingers in his hair and brought one hand to his chest. I wanted to get closer and I adjusted myself on his lap, trying to be closer.

He sucked in a breath, pulling back slightly and gripping my hips to hold them in place. "You can't do that to me right now." His voice was raspier, almost strained now.

"Why?" I asked bringing my other hand to his chest and trailing my fingers down his shirt.

"Because I have to leave soon," He said, eyeing the strap of my tank top that fell off my shoulder.

"Do you really have to?" I asked. I brought my hands lower, feathering my fingers under his shirt and feeling the ridges of his muscled torso.

He let his head fall back. "Do I really have to?" He echoed to himself. I felt the small smirk on my lips as he righted himself again and looked at me. I watched him right back. "You're doing it again."

"Doing what?" I asked, trying not to let out a laugh.

He didn't answer me. Instead, he used the hands that were gripped around my waist to lift me. My back fell into the bed as he flipped on top of me. He brought his lips to mine and my mouth opened for him as he adjusted himself over me. He was everywhere as his tongue danced with mine and it sent tingles and shivers all over my body.

And in the best way possible... I. could not. fucking. think.

Couldn't think of anything but where his hands were, what his tongue was doing with mine, and his scent that fell all around me. His teeth hugged my bottom lip, tugging gently on it and releasing it again. He dropped his mouth to my cheek, planting a kiss there. He kissed my jaw next, then down to my neck where he lingered.

He kept his face in the crook of my neck as he sucked on the skin near my collar bone. I let out a throaty sigh, as unintentional as the way my back arched closer to him.

When he was done there he dragged his lips up my neck and met my mouth with his once again. Then when his hips rolled into mine, I could feel the way he wanted me just as much as I wanted him.

He propped himself up on one arm above me. "Have you done this before?" He asked, his voice somehow sounding rough and gentle at the same time.

I shook my head in response, understanding his meaning of the question.

"Do you want to?" He ran a thumb over my cheek.

I nodded my head, silently once again.

"Say it to me," He coaxed, looking down at my mouth and waiting.

"I want to. I want you," I brought my hand under his shirt again, exploring just a little bit, but then my fingers wandered to the waist of his pants and I teased at the button. I looked up to find his eyes completely focused on me, the darkest shade of brown I had seen on him.

Declan pulled away, propping himself up on his knees, and threw the shirt off his body. It was the first piece of clothing that was removed that night, but it definitely wasn't the last.

A/N: OKAY LISTEN PEOPLE I READ SMUT I DONT WRITE IT. The way I hovered over the publish button with this one was ✨e m b a r r a s s i n g✨

Remember when you guys thought Declan's dad was a nasty criminal, but really he's just an overworked sick man on his actual death bed.

So anyway is Declan forgiven?

Thanks for reading :)