Snow flurries flutter around me as I walk across campus, a blanket of grey clouds settled above Boulder as I sink my hands farther into the fuzzy pockets of my coat. I hadn't worn any mittens today because it wasn't supposed to start snowing until after 5 pm, when I would be at Ryder's house, safe and warm for our dinner plans this evening. But, as per usual, the weather in Colorado has a mind of its own.

            As I step into The Laughing Goat, I am reminded of the last time I was here and how I'd steadfastly avoided the campus coffee shop since being recognized. This time, no one seems to know who I am or care that I am here, a sense of anonymity washing over me that'd I'd wished for since that article came out in the Daily Camera.

            I join the line forming in front of the cashier, waiting to order a hot coffee and scone while I pull my phone out and text Savannah that I'm here. We decided to meet up today to go over the project we have coming up in the psychology lab we'd both taken this semester. It's Advanced Cognitive Psychology, and part of the lab is to create and conduct your own research with a team, so when we'd realized we were in the same class, naturally we chose each other as partners.

            She texts back saying she got us a table in the back, and then I ask if she wants anything as I get closer to the girl behind the cash register, but she answers me saying she's already got a coffee. I order my drink and study snack, collecting both before I head towards the back of the coffee shop.

            I spot Savannah's honey-colored hair, pulled up into a long ponytail. She's dressed in a pair of slacks and a tight tank top, a large knit sweater hung around her shoulders. In the entire time I've known Savannah, I've never known her to not be dressed well. Whether it be for class or for a party, she's always made it a priority to look nice. It makes my leggings and Ryder's oversized sweatshirt pale in comparison.

            She sees me too, waving and I smile, waving back as I approach. But just then I feel a hand at my elbow, and I turn, eyes wide when I realize Lars is here too.

            "Hey Jourdan," he grins easily, and I smile back, leaning in for a quick hug.

            "Lars," I say. "What are you up to?"

            "Studying for a midterm." He grumbles, gesturing over his shoulder where I spot Andrew and Tristan sitting at a table with textbooks, notebooks and flashcards spread across it.

            "Already?"

            "Yeah," he nods, shrugging his hands into the pockets of his jeans. "The business school organizes their semesters into quarters."

            "Oh," I nod, remembering now. "That's right."

            "You here to study too?" He asks. "You should come sit with us."

            "Well," I pause, knowing there's a conflict ahead as soon as he realizes who I'm sitting with. I turn my head slightly, catching Savannah's icy glare locked in, her eyes narrowed at Lars' back. "Kind-of, I'm working on a project for my psych lab with Savannah."

            His expression changes the second he hears me say her name, turning to look over his shoulder to where I'm gesturing.

            She smiles at him, waving before flipping him off and glaring again.

            "Fuck," he breathes. "I mean, I'd invite you both to join us, but I know she'd say 'no'."

            "Awe," I giggle. "Yeah, you're probably right. And I know you're not her biggest fan either."

            "True," he chuckles with me. But then something seems to change as he walks with me to our table, I give Savannah a pointed look as I set my coffee and scone down, pulling a chair out as I slide my backpack off my shoulder.

            "Savannah." He says curtly and she smirks.

            "Lawrence." She answers and he rolls his eyes.

            "I was just inviting Jourdan to come join us," he motions to Andrew and Tristan who are both laughing, waving at us as they glance up from their work to witness this interaction. "But then she told me she is here with you, so I thought I'd invite both of you."

            "Oh, really?" she replies, voice smooth and cold.

            "Yes," Lars glances to me and I just smile, trying to keep things pleasant. "A lot of people actually think I'm a pretty nice guy."

            "Right, the Mr. Nice Guy act," Savannah retorts. "Your performance is about as shit as your cooking."

            "Well," he looks to me again, shrugging as he laughs and shakes his head. "I tried, see you later Jourdan."

            "Bye Lars." I wave as Savannah just narrows her eyes again and then whips her head around to me. "I'm sorry, he caught me just as I was heading over here."

            "It's okay," she sighs, her expression easing a bit now. "It's not your fault he's a dick."

            "Lars is actually one of the nicest guys I know," I try to reason with her, but she just rolls her eyes. "If you gave him a chance you might see that it's not necessarily an act. It can definitely be an act with other guys, I'll give you that. But not with him."

            "If I tell you what happened," Savannah starts slowly. "I mean—you two are friends so I don't want to let our bullshit get in the way of that. But then maybe you'll see why I'm never going to give that fucker a chance."

            I nod, suddenly intrigued. I'd always respected that this story is one that is very personal, and that Savannah didn't want to share. But if she wants to tell me now, I'd gladly listen to get a better understanding of their rivalry.

            "Okay," she glances over her shoulder again to where Lars, Andrew and Tristan have all turned back to their studying. "So, do you remember what I told you about freshmen year with my roommate?"

            I nod again, the memories of her confessing the whole truth to me over margaritas coming back.  The short version is this: Savannah used to be best friends and roommates with Lars' girlfriend, Riley back during their freshmen year and my sophomore year, before we'd met through class.

Back then, Riley had been dating this dude in PIKE, a big frat on campus, named Chadwick, or as is very fitting for a frat boy these days, Chad for short. Savannah had told me that Chad was never very nice to Riley, and often made passes at her and Riley's other friends in front of Riley.

It was all harmless until Chad told Riley he'd slept with Savannah because she came on to him too, which was essentially a bold-faced lie to cover up the fact that'd he'd actually been cheating on her since the day they started dating.

            Savannah swore to Riley it couldn't have been her. Not when she also wasn't in Boulder the night Chad kept insisting it happened, but Riley didn't believe her. Instead, she decided to make Savannah's life hell.

Apparently, she managed to get into Savannah's 'my eyes only' section of her Snapchat app, and texted Savannah's nudes to everyone in the dorm floor group chat. What's worse, Savannah also had a video on there that she'd taken in high school.

It's not very long, and apparently, you can't see much, but it's essentially a sex tape. That made it's rounds on Savannah's dorm floor as well.

            Since then, Riley did everything she could to take her revenge on Savannah until she was basically alienated from all her friends.

            I didn't know Riley too well; I'd only ever known her as Lar's girlfriend when he started hanging out with us at the end of his freshmen year. She seemed nice enough the few times I'd interacted with her, but when Savannah told me this story, some aspects of Riley's character that I'd observed, seemed to match up.

            When I was in high school, I remember everyone saying that rumors and bullying just aren't the same in college. That no one cares about you or what someone has to say about you. And I'd say this is partially true, but that doesn't mean people won't talk, or whisper when they see you, or know who you are if the story gets big enough. I'd learned this the hard way, and so did Savannah.

            "Right, do you also remember me saying that a couple of guys put those pictures of me and that video on Porn Hub?" she asks, and I feel my eyes widen, anticipating what she's about to say. "Well, those guys, were Lars and his roommate."

            "What?" I gasp, looking over to their table again.

            "I—I, okay, so I didn't ever know it was Lars," she corrects. "But I did know it was his roommate, Henry, because he admitted it to my face. He never said that Lars helped him, but he said Lars knew. Which I don't know, felt just as bad at the time."

            "Yeah," I nod slowly, taking this new information in. "I guess, why don't you ask him though? I mean, I'm sure he'd tell you."

            "He started dating Riley at the end of our freshmen year," she admits. "And by that point I was so over all the shit, that I just decided to hate both of them. I think in my brain, I knew what kind-of person she was by then. She was my best friend, and I felt so badly that Chad had hurt her like that, but she took it out on me ... so, I had to move on. But anyways, I knew what she was doing to me, and I couldn't believe he didn't see how toxic it was. I guess I also figured I could never like or be around a person who could be friends with her, let alone date her. Not after all the shit she pulled."

            I frown, finally understanding. And I empathize with Savannah in that moment, she never acted like the victim in all this. She stated facts and told me maybe she should have been clearer when telling Chad to 'fuck off' all those years ago now, but it's clear to me that his lies blew up both her life and Riley's life along with it. Fucking boys.

            "I know I'm not perfect," Savannah says slowly, her tone sincere, and expression a bit pained. "I know that maybe I could have been a better friend, but I also know what's happened to me since then hasn't been fair either. And I guess I don't hate Lars the way I used to, when I think about it, I dislike him by association really. If he'd never dated Riley, we might have even been friends at one point. But now, I'll never think he's just a nice guy. Not after everything that's happened."

            "That's definitely valid," I smile softly, and she shrugs, running her fingers through her long ponytail before pulling it over her shoulder to tug at the ends. "And for the record, it does sound unfair. Chad should have never lied like that, but Riley also shouldn't have taken all that anger out on you."

            "Yeah," Savannah seems to lighten then, smiling back at me. "It's in the past though, that's why I never wanted to talk about it before. I've gotten on with my life, and while I think part of me will always want a chance to tell my truth, I don't want anger or hatred to control me either. I think that might also be part of the reason I dislike Lars so much, selfishly, he always reminds of everything that happened and then I start to act like a mean person. A person I really don't want to be. So, really, I'm also angry with myself because I know part of it is on me."

            "I get that," I nod. "I felt the same way with Miles at certain points, we brought out the worst in each other when we would fight. And at the end there, we were fighting a lot. I remember I was angry at him, but I was also so mad and disappointed in myself for saying what I did or acting the way I would when we'd argue."

            "Exactly." Savannah agrees. "A therapist would probably tell me that's why Riley and I will never be friends again. We eventually made each other so angry, that anyone else who was in the way, got burned by it. And since they started dating, it always seemed like Lars was in the way."

            "But, I mean, obviously I'm friends with Lars," I hesitate now as I wonder if there's any resentment coming from her. I'd never sensed any at all, in fact, the hatred between her and Lars had become something of a running joke in the friend group. Mainly on Lars side because we'd tease him. He's such as easy-going guy it's hard to picture someone hating him or him genuinely hating another person. "I don't think it ever has been, but I just want to be sure that it's not a problem for you. Or for us as friends?"

            "What?" Savannah smiles instantly, shaking her head. "No, no of course not. You guys were friends before we were, and like I said before, it's between him and I. I don't want anyone else getting mixed up in the bullshit. He has his truth too, and clearly hasn't told it so, at the very least I can respect that he didn't bad mouth me to any of you guys."

            "Yeah," I agree, and she gets a look on her face then.

            "But I—well, I guess it's a little late for this but, I didn't want to bad mouth him either, despite how much we hate each other, I never want to talk about someone behind their backs the way people have with me." 

            "I kept asking," I offer. "Plus, you didn't really shit talk so much as tell me what happened. It'd be different if you wanted to tell everyone so that people would talk, I think."

            "I guess," she sighs. "And there are two, well actually, three sides to every story."

            "Three?" I ask, thinking she means that Riley has her truth as well.

            "My side, his side, and the truth." She says simply and I pause, considering her words as she takes a long sip of coffee before smiling at me again. "So, no, I could never care that you're friends with him. Not when being friends with you is more important to me than that."

            "Okay," I smile too, a bit relieved. "Good, because I'm really glad we're friends and I don't want some dumb boy to fuck that up."

            "Me too," she laughs a bit. "I don't know what I'll do when you graduate. I mean, I love Rory and her friends too, but you're one of my besties."

            "I know," I nod, feeling a bit sad as I open my laptop and she pulls out her notebook. I always forget Savannah is still a junior, and while she had made good friends with Ryder's little sister over the years, she and I hung out a lot at the end of my junior year and her sophomore.

            "Speaking of Rory though," Savannah's eyes light up then. "Can you believe that she and Wyatt are dating now?"

            "Oh my gosh," I nod, laughing. "Yes and no I guess, I remember getting a vibe a while ago when Ryder was in the hospital, and I was hanging out with them. But it wasn't anything to make me say something, least of all to Ryder. And then, well, did I tell you that we walked in on them?"

            Savannah laughs too now, shaking her head.

            "No, you didn't," she says. "Tell me more, right now."

            "Well, it was the day of Wyatt's birthday party about a month ago now," I set the scene. "And Ryder and I went to the store to get some mixers for drinks. When we came back, Wyatt and Rory were, like, fucking, right there on the couch. I swear, I don't think I've ever seen Ryder so mad before. He didn't talk to Wyatt for weeks."

            "They made up though, didn't they?" Savannah asks and I shrug. "I mean, those two were basically like brothers from what Rory told me."

            "I think so," I admit slowly. "I'm not really sure though. I mean, obviously they're hanging out again and speaking. But I don't know how that all works with the 'bro code' and everything, you know?"

            "Yeah," she laughs again. "Yeah, I definitely won't ever understand that code either."

            We spend the next few minutes joking about guys and their mysterious fights which somehow resolve with only a brief confrontation before they both forget and go back to being bros. Commenting on how this is a lot simpler than girl fights. Then we get to work eventually, planning out the research we want to conduct.

            I get distracted during my browse of Google Scholar though, and while I'm supposed to be hunting for scholarly articles on similar research, I find my eyes drifting over the guys across the café from us. Andrew and Tristan are laughing about something, Andrew clapping Tristan on the back while Lars shakes his head.

            My mind wonders about Lars then and the story Savannah told me. Could he have known that his roommate was going to put naked pictures and a video of her on the internet? Part of me couldn't believe that the guy I know would stand by and do nothing. But then again, I guess it's like Savannah said, there are three sides to every story, and I still have yet to hear Lars' version of the truth.

~