*Topics of Anxiety attacks and bullying*

Rowan's POV

Here I was, sat in the school nurse's office hugging my brother, Finn, to death. It's rare for me to show such raw emotions to people, especially my family. So I felt almost embarrassed to pull away and face my brother again after that mini breakdown I just had.

My tears had eased up but the heavy feeling in my chest was lingering and my mind was still overflowing with anxious thoughts; I've always been a pretty anxious person, mostly in social settings, but I always know how to hide it and cover it with a shy or quiet quality. But suffering from an anxiety attack? This is completely new to me.

I felt Finn's arms loosen from around me. "I think it's time we get you home, huh?"

I pulled back a little, avoiding my brother's eyes.

I didn't want to stay but I didn't want to step foot out of this room either; It would make all of this seem even more real.

I flickered my sight towards Nurse Symonds who was tapping away on her computer keyboard. "I've just signed Rowan out here for you, to save you de-touring to the reception office."

"Thankyou." Finn shot her a grateful smile and bent down to pick my back pack up from its spot on the floor.

"I hope you feel better, Rowan." Nurse Symonds rose from her seat and walked towards Finn and I. "Listen, this school doesn't condone bullying of any kind..."

I immediately looked down where my hands started fumbling together.

"We're going to get this all sorted out for you. I promise." She held such a kind and sweet tone to her voice, but too bad her words only tightened that god-awful feeling in my chest.

'Get this all sorted out' that means more people are going to find out about this, more people knowing my business, more people looking down on me like I'm some weak, incapable child. I'm going to leave this place having to face these people.

And then when I get home, I'll have to face my dad and admit to him that I'm useless. He'll point out that I lied to him; I was given so many opportunities to tell him what was going on and why I was failing my classes, but I kept brushing it off. He's going to be so disappointed in me; again.

And then the worst of all, I'll have to face Melissa who's probably out there right now, fuming over the fact that she's been snitched on and no doubt planning my murder already.

There's no getting out of this; I was trapped inside one of my anxiety-ridden nightmares.

"Ro?"

I looked up towards my brother at the same time that he tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. "We can't stay here all day." He looked back at me with sad eyes.

I used the sleeve of my hoodie to wipe away any damp on my cheeks before hopping down from the examination bed and heading towards the door, but I paused before I could bring myself to open it.

I was ready to go home and wallow in bed for the rest of the day but my sweaty palms and the anxiety of facing the reality of this situation once I leave this room, was weighing heavily on me.

"Hey." Finn's arm wrapped around the front of my shoulders from behind and he pulled me back against him. "Take a deep breath, You're gonna be okay."

The feeling of his thumb stroking back and forth on my shoulder quickly brought me back from the slight panic that I had felt building up inside me again. But I did what Finn said and I took a shaky breath in and out through my nose.

"Okay, you good?" Finn moved his arm from around me and I nodded in answer to his question.

"You guys take care." Nurse Symonds bid a quick goodbye to Finn and I as we exited her office.

I looked down the corridor that we needed to walk through to exit the school and thankfully it was empty; which meant classes were still running. But not wanting to risk being seen looking like a mess, I pulled my hood up and kept my head down.

"Dad and Aaron were running errands which is why I was called to come and get you, but they should be home by the time we get there."

All I could do was nod in reply to Finn. I had that horrible feeling that if I spoke, I'd break down into tears again and I want nothing more than to avoid that happening.

As soon as we made it out into the cold, fresh air, I felt like I could somewhat breathe again. I spotted Finn's car in the parking lot which wasn't too far of a walk, but to get there, we had to walk past the sports area where the P.E lessons were still taking place. P.E? In the freezing cold and snow?? This school is getting more and more ridiculous, that can't be legal right?

I immediately noticed my class, they were on the running track which had been cleared and gritted from the ice, each student and the teacher wrapped up warm in thick joggers and fleeces. Melissa and her group of friends were not hard to miss; they were only doing a light jog.

I was wrong, maybe she has no idea yet that her bullying towards me has been found out; but it's not going to take long until she does and I'd rather not be around for it.

My eyes drifted further on over to the boys' class who were playing soccer under the canopy'd playing field. Dallas' curly hair caught my attention. He dribbled a football between each foot before kicking it hard, passed the goalie and into the net. A few of his friends, patted him on the back for the success of winning a goal, but that's when I noticed he wasn't even acknowledging them and he was looking straight back at me with a frown etched upon his face.

As if on instinct, Finn threw an arm around my shoulder and pulled me in close to his side, my view of Dallas now completely blocked. I still felt bad that I kept brushing off his conversations in our English class, but Melissa really had me on edge all day, resulting in that anxiety attack, which quite frankly has still not completely diminished.

I released a quiet sigh of relief as soon as Finn and I approached his car. I made my way round to the passenger side door whilst Finn unlocked it and then I got in, feeling a little more secure now that I was out of the school.

Finn slid into his driver's seat and chucked my backpack onto the back seats.

"I just need to make a quick stop at the garage before I get you home, alright?" Finn revved the engine and drove us out of the school parking lot.

I pulled one of my knees up to my chest, not caring about getting any dirt or wet from my shoes on the passenger seat.

"You know, you'll need to talk to me at some point, baby-sis. Dad's gonna want to talk about what's happened too."

I felt the tears brimming in my eyes. Anything could set me off again, any second.

"I know it's hard for you, Ro, but we need to get this situation resolved as soon as possible." Finn spoke up.

Another short silence settled over us as I swallowed at the lump in my throat. But Finn soon filled that moments silence again. "That bump on the side of your head...you didn't just trip and fall into the lockers, did you?" He was trying to get me to talk now.

I didn't like the way the atmosphere in the car changed. I could almost see my brother's anger bubbling up to the surface of his skin as I didn't even attempt to deny his questioning. I was in way too much of a vulnerable position right now, so whatever lie I would've come up with, there is no way Finn would believe it.

"She did it to you, didn't she?" I snuck a glance up at my brother to see his nostrils flare slightly as he clenched his jaw. He was not happy in the slightest.

The thing about Finn is that his emotions can switch way too fast. He's good at controlling them, but because he couldn't show his anger in the school, it's been itching at him ever since he got that phone-call about me and now that we're out of the school it's suddenly making its way out of him.

I tried my best to prepare myself to speak up without crying and setting Finn off into one of his rare rages.

"I don't want to talk about it, Finn, alright? she's going to be so much worse towards me now." My voice shook, the lump in my throat only getting larger with each word.

"That girl is not going to lay another fucking finger on you, Rowan." Finn swearing to me? Oh he is livid.

I sucked my bottom lip in and bit down enough to refrain from crying again, but it failed me.
I pulled my hood further over my eyes to hide the few tears that fell.

"Ro.." Finn's tone softened and he placed his hand over my knee. My nose sniffle no doubt giving away that I was crying. "I'm not angry at you, sweetheart."

"I know." I sniffled again, trying to get rid of the stuffiness in my nose. "I just hate all of this."

The journey to Finn's work place at the garage continued in silence, with Finn realising that maybe a time to think and give me some space would be good.

We turned into the yard, and then drove down a short bumpy track before the garage came into view. Finn's co-worker Danny was working on a motorcycle, but he stopped what he was doing upon seeing our arrival.

Finn parked up his car and got out, leaving me alone. I watched as he exchanged a few words with Danny, most likely about me considering Danny's attention landed straight onto me once Finn walked off into the building.

He started walking towards my side door and gestured for me to get out. I could really do without any socialisation right now. But I did as he said. I unclipped the seatbelt from around me and stepped out the car.

"Someone's looking as though they need a hug from Danny." He held his arms out wide as he enclosed the space between us and I accepted his offer by wrapping my arms around his waist at the same time he threw his around my shoulders.

"You got some mean people at your school, huh?" He lay his head atop of mine and lightly rocked us side to side.

I nodded, not being able to trust my voice again.

"Need me to come and beat some kids up for you?"

A small giggle escaped my mouth and I nodded in reply again.

"You just tell me the place and time alright?" He lightly patted my back before releasing me. Danny always knew how to put a smile on my face, even if it was only a small one. "Seriously though, you're gonna be alright, Rowan. You did the right thing by telling someone."

Even though I wasn't the one who did so. I wish it was back to how it was, where other students would turn a blind eye to it and before Victoria decided to blurt it out to nurse Symonds.

My mood dramatically dropped again at the thought of it all.

"Everything okay?" Finn's voice broke me from my thoughts as he looked between Danny and I.

We both nodded at him and I turned to get back in the car. I slammed the door shut behind me and watched again as my brother conversed with Danny before hopping in the drivers seat.

"Tell Jack I'll do an extra shift next week." He called out to Danny. "And I'll see you tonight yeah?"

Danny put his thumb up in answer, before waving us off.

"How're feeling now, Ro?" Finn took a quick glance at me before focusing back onto his driving.

I could sense that he was on edge; not wanting to get angry over my bullying situation and making me cry again. None of us needed that right now.

I shrugged, not knowing how to answer in words. My anxiety was usually pretty tolerant, I could take a deep breath and then hide it away. But now? It's like this whole new heightened anxiety has burst within me and was becoming too much to handle.

«»«»«»

Upon arriving home, the first thing I noticed was a cop car parked up on our driveway.

Cops? God, this day was not going well at all.

"W-what's going on?"

"I'm as clueless as you are, Ro." A frown had settled upon Finn's forehead as he parked the car up. "Come on, I'm sure everything's alright." He gestured for me to get out.

I grabbed my backpack from the back seat before Finn locked the car and then I followed him into the house.

Deep laughter echoed out from the kitchen door, easing up some of the worry I was feeling about there being a cop in our home. I dumped my bag at the bottom of the stairs and then trailed behind Finn through the kitchen door.

"Aye! There he is!" A familiar voice filled the room and I watched as Finn sped towards a tall, handsome looking man, who was dressed in a cop uniform, standing next to Aaron.

"Dexter! How're you doing man?" Dexter... I know that name?

Finn and this Dexter dude shared a quick bro hug.

"I'm good, I'm good!" Dexter replied ecstatically. "My transfer to here came a couple days early, but you know I'm happy that I get to see you guys and work alongside you again."

Work alongside you? Finn isn't a cop though? So what does that even mean?

"Rowan! This is my friend Dexter." Finn quickly changed the subject onto introducing Dexter and I. "You may remember him? He and I both played football together in college. He's just been transferred back here from Canada."

I sort of remember? His name and voice are familiar.

"It's great to see you again, Rowan." Dexter took a step towards me and held a hand out for me to shake. I accepted it with a nod and shot him a tight-lipped smile.

"So you'll be coming to stay at our house from today then?" Finn questioned his friend once he stepped back away from me.

"Yeah! Just until I can find a place of my own."

I zoned out of their continued conversation which Aaron had joined in with and I slowly moved my sight over towards my father; who was leaning up against the kitchen island, staring right back at me with a thoughtful frown on his face.

That all too familiar lump in my throat was back. Let's face it...He already knows, Rowan. He knows how shameful you are, how useless you are and how weak you are. He knows that you can't stand up for yourself to another girl your own age. He knows you lied to him.

I could feel myself wanting to break down again, like I did back in the nurses office at the school. God, all these tears were making me feel so pathetic. All of this could've been avoided if I hadn't fallen into that damn anxiety attack which sent me to the nurses office in the first place.

My father's expression softened; his eyes turning sad. I didn't know whether to run towards him or run out of the room. I usually hate people seeing me like this, but right now I needed my dad.

I hung on for three more seconds, watching him stand to his full height and start making his way towards me, before I flung myself at him and buried my face into his shoulder with my fists clinging onto the back of his T-shirt.

"Bad morning at school, huh?" He whispered to me.

I nodded and sniffled into the front of his shirt before resting the side of my head against his chest.

"Adam briefly updated me on what was going on, but I'm going to give the school a call later."

Speaking of which, a phone started ringing out loudly through the room. Dad removed one of his arms from around me and pulled his phone out of his jeans pocket, answering it swiftly.

"Hello?"

....

"Okay, okay. Hold on a second."

I couldn't catch the person's words on the other end of the phone but the urgency in dad's tone made it seem important.

"I'm sorry, I've gotta take this call, Sweetheart. I'll be back in a moment, okay?" I loosened my grip on him but I felt resistant in doing so. He was making me feel safe and easing up my anxiety, but not anymore if he leaves.

"Come 'ere Ro." I was wrapped up in a different pair of arms; Aaron's arms, allowing dad to leave the room with his phone to his ear.

"I guess that's also my cue to head back to work." Dexter announced. "I'll see you guys later." He shared another bro hug with Finn and waved a quick goodbye to Aaron and I as he left.

I looked up at Aaron to find him looking back down at me. He moved some of my hair away from my face, stopping it from sticking to my damp cheeks.

"I'll make us all a tea." Finn made his way across the room to switch the kettle on.

"Coffee for me please." Aaron said to him.

Aaron moved us towards the dining table and sat down on one of the chairs, pulling me down to sit on his lap, engulfing me in his arms again.

"You feeling any better after earlier events?"

Of course Aaron already knows - I didn't know whether I preferred the fact that he was consciously avoiding mentioning the anxiety attack I had endured. It's so embarrassing.

I lay my head down on Aaron's shoulder, avoiding any eye contact with him.

He dipped his head down closer to mine and squeezed me tight but comfortably in his arms. "It's nothing to be ashamed of, Ro. You couldn't help it." His voice was soft, knowing this was a touchy subject.

"I don't wanna talk about it." My voice wobbled slightly.

"Okay, that's fine."

Usually, Aaron was the type to push me into talking about things, but with the rare fragile state I was currently in, he must've decided against doing so.

"Hey, I'm back!" Asher's voice called out from the kitchen door way where he released Comet from his lead, allowing him to run and pounce up against Aaron and I.

I unwrapped one of my arms from Aaron's shoulder  and fussed my husky, with Aaron doing the same, before allowing Comet to jump down and run off to greet Finn.

I didn't want to move from my position of hugging Aaron. I can't even remember the last time I was this clingy towards my family; I felt like a child again, crying and now getting hugs from my brothers and dad? But right now, I didn't care. Aaron seemed to ease the panic away. Well that was until another pair of arms joined in with the hug; Asher.

"I hear the baby sis is going through some shit."

I managed to look up at the youngest of my brothers with a sullen expression.

"You know, you should've just socked the girl right in the face."

"Back off, Ash." Aaron warned him, in which Asher obliged. "This isn't time for any of your teasing."

"I'm not teasing..I'm just saying, next time, break her nose. Knee her in the stomach. That should stop her from messing with you again.."

"Ash!" Finn interrupted, overhearing Asher's shit attempt at trying to make me feel any better about myself.

I knew atleast one of them would be ashamed of me. Ashamed that I didn't fight back, that I didn't stand up for myself and making me out to be a weak child that, to be honest, I wasn't helping disprove by being wrapped up in my eldest brother's arms for comfort. Oh god, Asher's right, why didn't I do more?

"I was just giving some brotherly advice." Asher tried defending himself.

"Oh yeah? Well it was fucking shit advice.." Finn walked him out of the room.

Before the kitchen door could close behind them, Hunter and Maddox walked in, having got back from God knows where, I felt pretty confused as to why no one was at work to be honest, or college in Asher's case.

"Oh Ro, God, we heard about what's been happening." Maddox rushed towards Aaron and I upon noticing our presence.

Why am I not surprised that everyone already knows? Why does everyone have to know?!

"How're you feeling?" He asked.

People really need to stop asking me that question. It was impossible for me to answer it because right now I was going through almost every bad emotion under the sun and having difficulty handling it.

I