Naomi Black

I couldn't tell if I was completely insane or if I was completely insane.

Saying yes meant that I was committing to memories that would either bless me or haunt me.

"Naomi, you need to be completely sure." Matti grabbed my hands in his and looked into my eyes.

Am I completely sure?

No.

"I am sure." I reassure him as he cracks a smile. "If you're sure, why are you shaking?" He retorts as I stutter out a breath. For someone that is as into himself as he is—he loves studying me.

"Oh you know me, I'm just super horny." I blurt out as I freeze.

Why the fuck did I just say that? I'm so embarrassed. Matti lets go of my hands and lets out a loud laugh.

"Matti. Stop," I whine and regrab his hands. He looks me in the eyes while still laughing, "I'm sorry. You're so awkward." He admits as I rub my face with my hands. Matti sits in front of me.

"Before I do this—if you are sure you want me to do this— we need to talk." He starts talking and I nod for him to continue. "Girls, they usually get attached to me after we do things, and that's completely fine. But, I don't get attached to them. So, what I'm saying is—don't worry. I will still feel the same after we do this. In fact—after we do anything." He smiles at me as my eyes twinkle.

"And I just wanted to let you know that I think of you as the most important girl in my life other than my mother. Even if we are just friends with benefits. I trust you—I mean, you could make or break my career with how I had treated you before. So, I ask that you let me do this to you. Because you won't let me spend my money on you and I really don't have anything else to offer you other than an autograph, Black." He finally finishes as the grin on my face finally meets the top of my cheek bones.

Was I okay with this? The zero guarantee of us being together? We're not even together, just being benefited. Am I okay with this? I was saving this for the boy that changed everything.

And Matti did change everything in the most non-boyfriend way.

I laid back on my bed and pulled him with me so he laid overtop of me, hovering.

His eyes meet mine as I look up and just adore the person I've gotten to know in these last weeks. His blue eyes and head full of dark hair. His prominent cheekbones and jawline. His perfect smile and the most handsome smirk. His long eyelashes that he took for granted.

Matti Williams was a dream.

He was my dream.

He was everything I could've ever wanted for me. He was beautiful and he was kind. He wasn't always the nicest person but he turned into the nicest guy—for me.

He did it for me.

This last month started off horrible but he changed his whole attitude for me.

I was in so deep for Matti Williams.

The boy that I fought so hard to stay away from. He was my dad practically, but he wasn't at the same time. He proved that even the bad guys can turn good—for the right girl and for the right reason.

In the last month and week—I have felt anger, hate, self loathing, happiness, sadness, envious. But I was in so deep with him that today I felt love.

I smile at him and he smiles back as I use my thumb to rub along his jawline. "You've made a mess of all my plans, Matti Williams." I choke out. How embarrassing that I want to cry but I'm so overwhelmed with emotion that I can't help the fact that I'm excessively holding back tears.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" He asks his question again as I chuckle. "If you don't do it now—I'll never do it with another person again." I speak as he laughs.

He hovers overtop of me with his necklace dangling in my face. He's in a push up position as he slides down the bed. Once he's settled at the bottom of the bed, his stare scans up my entire body. My face flushes red. He was intimidating.

"Naomi Black, you are the furthest thing from my type—" I choke out a laugh at his semi insult. "But somehow you are in every way anything and everything I could ever want. " He finishes off as I smile at him.

He nods towards me as he grabs the bottoms of my sweatpants. Slowly, but surely he drags them off with his eyes never leaving mine. Once they were completely off he climbed back into the push up position he was in before and brushed the hair that was near my face. "Take off your shirt," He spoke and I nodded. His fingers found the bottom of my navel to pull my hoodie off and my stomach clenched. His hands were cold on my warm stomach.

Once the hoodie was off he stared down my entire body. I whimpered, it wasn't nice having a guy look down your entire body while you were just in your bra and thong. His right hand ran down the middle of my stomach and I gasped.

His hands were really fucking cold.

He raised his hand and moved it to hold my chin. He slowly brought his lips down to my own. Those slow kisses turned into more passionate kisses. His right hand grabbed my left thigh to place it on top of his lower back. I gasped as he pressed into my middle, my body already desperately craving the friction.

He took advantage and slipped his tongue into my mouth, I moaned as his hips met mine again. His mouth slowly left mine as he started to leave a trail of kisses down the center of my throat.

He used his hands to raise my body up so he could unclip my bra. I was practically bare in front of him.

I sucked in a breath as he actually looked at my boobs as the other night, it was dark in the room and he couldn't really see. He moaned, "Black, you have your nipples pierced. How the fuck did I not know that?" I chuckled. His hand that laid flat on my stomach made it's way straight up to my left boob.

Matti's kisses down my neck became more sloppy and had stronger suction to them as he his lips met my right boob. Holy shit, that felt good.

I whimpered as I felt him smirk.

He released the skin that was in between his lips and looked me in the eyes. He winked at me before going back to the extremely irritated hickey and blew air on it. I gasped and my fingers gripped the sheets.

"That one might hurt for the next few days," Matti chuckles and mutters an apology before kissing and licking down my ribcage. He leaves kisses all over my stomach while both of his hands find my boobs again, his thumbs press against my piercings and I moan.

Matti's kisses had trailed my bikini line and I gasped.

This was really about to happen.

"Black are you sure? You just have to say the word and I'll stop." He says as I groan. "Matti I adore you for caring, but if you ask me that one more time— I will go find Reese and he will—" I was cut off as I heard tearing.

I gasped, he fucking ripped my underwear off of me.

"Are you a fucking psychopath? Matti quit ripping my clothes!" I yell at him as he just smirks at me. "You're not even going to apologize?" I bitch at him as he opens my legs. He looks down at me and then his eyes meet mine. I glup, I was a new woman.

He kissed my inner right thigh as high up as he could go before doing the exact same to my left. My right hand found my way to his hair and my left was on the side of the bed gripping the shit out of the comforter.

I looked up at the ceiling not even being able to make eye contact with the boy that was reeking havoc on my most sacred part.

I inhaled as I felt him blow air on my vagina. I felt his hand move from the grip it had around my right thigh. I wondered where it had gone.

That was until his hand was all I felt. His fingers ran up my center and my hand that was gripping the bed immediately went up to my mouth to cover it from the profanity that was about to fly out.

"Put your hand down Naomi," Matti said as he continued his movements. I ignored him, but apparently that was the wrong thing to do as he added more pressure to my clit. "Move your hand away from your mouth Naomi." He demanded as I slowly moved it away.

I breathed out a huge breath of air and hummed as I looked down at him.

He was looking directly into my eyes hovering right above my vagina.

"You're very wet." He comments as I just laugh.

How else was I supposed to react?

"Ready?" He asks as I nod. Slowly I watched as his face disappeared.

He was all I felt as I felt his tongue run up the center of my core. My stomach clenched and my back arched off of the bed. His hands found my legs and pushed me down so I wouldn't come up. Before I could even feel my senses come back to me, his entire mouth was on top of my vagina. "Matti, fuck." I moan as he chuckles, sending more vibrations to my tiny bud that he was focusing extra on.

"Fuck. Matti, Oh my god." I grip the comforter and the hair on his head as his tongue motions become more violent. I threw my head back into the pillow as he tightened his grip on my thighs.

That was going to leave a bruise.

But it hurt so good.

He had full access to do whatever he wanted to me. I was practically an open book at this moment. I couldn't control what my body was doing. All I knew was that he consumed me in every way possible.

Slowly I felt his finger enter me and I whimpered out of discomfort. "Matti," He breathed out. "You're so fucking tight, Naomi." He comments. I grip the bed tighter as he pulled his finger out of me and grabbed my legs again and threw them over his shoulders— giving him more access to me. I looked down and saw a masterpiece of art that he was making.

"That feels so good. What the fuck." I whimpered as he was now deeper into my warmth. Two fingers found themselves inside of me this time and I hissed out. "Ouch, ouch." I whine as he slowly thrust them inside me.

His body was pinning my hips down as he ruined me. As I squirmed he would grip harder or suck deeper. My soul was completely out of my body and it was his.

He took his fingers out of me and stopped sucking. He slowly drug his tongue from my nub to my entrance. I looked down at him as he was making eye contact with me. Slowly, I felt his tongue enter me.

"Oh my god. Matti," I moan and squirm. His fingers meet my clit and start rubbing as his tounge was fucking me. My legs were quivering and I felt a heat boil at the bottom of my stomach.

"Matti," I moan out his name as he moans against me. My fingers gripped his hair even harder and my knuckles were completely flushed white while gripping the comforter. My toes started curling as I felt tingly.

"Matti. Stop- stop, I'm going to cum." I whimper as he chuckles.

He removes his tongue from inside of me and moves his mouth back up to my clit. His two fingers find their way back inside of me. This time they were curling.

His mouth and tongue were sucking and licking in ways that I didn't even think were possible. His middle finger and pointer finger were obliterating my insides.

I was a fucking mess. I was panting, whimpering, and squirming in every way possible. I was sweating, I wanted nothing more than to touch him and just feel him.

I felt like the pressure was strong but somehow with his fingers curling inside of me—the pressure only grew stronger. My breathing got heavier. The hand that wasn't being used reached up to my right nipple. I moaned as he pulled on my piercing.

"Fuck." I whimpered. His fingers were rocking into me as he was devouring my vagina.

My entire stomach was in knots.

My hand clenched the comforter, my hand pulled his hair, and my toes were curling to the point where I couldn't feel them anymore. The pressure had become too much.

"'I'm putting in another," He muttered against me as I gasped. He added a third digit to the already demolishing two and I knew I was a goner. I couldn't describe what I was feeling at the moment. I felt like I was on fire.

"I'm cumming, I'm fucking cumming." I whisper as he continues his assault on my body. "Fuck, Matti. Holy shit." I moan as he speeds up what he was doing. I felt myself explode into a tiny million pieces. I was coming undone with the most unimaginable feeling.

I inhale and exhale trying to catch my breath but the immense pressure my body was feeling was making me feel inhumane.

I started shaking and moaning and then the pressure just stopped.

My stomach wasn't clenching anymore and my head was laying flat on the pillow.

I was gasping for air and staring at the ceiling.

Holy fuck.

I felt Matti remove his three fingers from me and he placed one last kiss on my center before letting me remove my legs from his shoulders.

My legs were a mess, they were shaking so bad. I couldn't even describe it.

Matti moved his body back up to mine and he smirked down at me.

We made eye contact and I blushed.

His thumb found my mouth and he forced it open. He put his three fingers that were inside of me, in my mouth and made me suck. He smirked as he watched me suck my juices off of his three fingers.

He pulled them out of my mouth and then kissed my forehead.

"Was that a good enough apology for ripping your thong and shirt?" He whispered in my ears and I chuckled. "That was—I can't even describe it." I say speechless as he smirks down over the top of me.

Matti Williams had consumed every single part of me.

I was so fucked.

I was in love with him.

He pulls himself off of me and hops off my bed. My eyes follow him as I'm still unable to move—my legs are going crazy. He grabs my arms and I raise my eyebrows. "You need to clean up, you made a mess." He says as he carries me towards the bathroom.

As soon as he set me down in front of the shower—I stopped. "Matti, are you okay?" I asked, thinking about the fact that he was probably rock solid underneath his shorts. He chuckles, "I'm fine. I'm running home, I'll be back later." I smile at him. He was acting weird.

"Matti, are you sure?" I ask as he turns around and walks back over to me to kiss my head once more. "I'm more than okay, Naomi." He reassures me.

He says a quick goodbye and he shuts the bathroom door behind him.

I enter the shower and stand under the water.

Somehow, Matti didn't feel fine after that.

I silently scrubbed my body while I stared off into a deep space and over thought everything.

I was so attached to him, more than I was before. He was right, after that, I would feel so much more attached. I never overthought anything but now I was overthinking everything.

He left like he was in a rush, is he leaving because he got what he wanted? No. He said he was just running home and that everything was okay. But maybe he was lying? No, he said even after this, his thoughts and feelings wouldn't change about me.

I stood naked in the shower until the water went cold and my legs were shaking from the temperature, not from the fact that I just had my first mind blowing orgasm.

I reached for the nozzle to turn off the shower and as the water turned off I stared at the wall.

I was a whole new woman now. I had exposed myself completely to a man that I wasn't even with. I went against everything I preached to myself for the last 19 years.

All it took was him to change everything for me.

I step out of the shower and wrap my towel around me. I slowly but surely opened the shower door and walked into my room. I go towards my closet to find a quick comfy outfit to throw on. I settled for a shirt and shorts.

Right after I got done getting dressed I checked my phone, it was now 2:30.

What felt like I spent all day with Matti, I really spent only six hours with him.

The door slammed open, "Wooo! It smells like sex in here!" Sloane and Nat run over to me as Finn smirks at me. "No I didn't have sex." I correct them as they raise their eyebrows.

"Sounded like it." Finn says and I laugh. "He ate me out." I watch all of their reactions as they freeze and their eyes widen. "Shut the fuck up! You tamed the untamable." Nat screeches as I laugh and nod.

I couldn't believe it.

He even said to me that he only does it to certain girls.

And I was one of them.

"I guess we need to get her a new stethoscope," Sloane says as they all agree with her. We all walk out to the living room and we sit on the couches. They all stare at me. I raise my eyebrows, "What?" I ask.

"Well! Tell us the details!" Nat yells as I shrug. "Did... you orgasm?" Sloane asked and before I could reply Finn beat me to it. "If she didn't I would sign her up for an acting award." We all laugh.

"That was the most crazy feeling I have ever felt in my entire life," I state as they nod. "Just wait until you have an orgasm from sex." Nat says and we all giggle.

"So where's Matti?" Finn asks as I shrug, "Said he needed to run back to the house. He said he would be back later." I respond as they all nod. "So he left you? After you just exposed yourself to him in the most intimate way?" Sloane asks while raising her eyebrows.

"Um... yeah. He said he would be back," I defended him and Nat slapped Sloanes shoulders. "What? You guys are freaking me out." I rushed out my words as they just stared at me. "It's just, you don't walk out on a girl you like after she opens up to you like that. Usually they stay for a while after." Nat reasons as I slump back into the chair and cover my eyes.

"He said no matter what happened, he would still feel the same way about me." I argue back.

"Do you guys want to go to a party this weekend? It's the pre halloween bash." Finn asks as we all agree to go. After all of this, I need something.

"Naomi, did you order pizza?" Sloane asks and I chuckle, "Yeah." I hop up to walk over to grab a piece. I open the box and freeze. On top of the box was a note.

I told you I would eat it.

Xoxo- QB 1.

I grin back down to the pizza and I hear the girls come up behind me. "Are you a psycho or do you always smile at your pizzas?" Finn asks as I