Prologue

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Three Years Ago

Scott Desmond was looking at a dead man.

He shook his head, swiped at the sweat running down his forehead and into his eyes, tried to focus more clearly on the sight before him.

There was no mistake about it.

The man he was looking at across two sets of train tracks was none other than his father – a man who had died almost eighteen months earlier.

Scott shook his head for the second time, rubbed his eyes, tried to focus through the humidity of the August day. But there was simply no disputing the fact.

The man he was staring at across the GO train platform had to be his father.

The man had first caught his attention because of the unique way he walked. The man, in his early-sixties, moved with a distinct lurching gait. He shuffled forward, half-dragging, half-lifting his partially crippled left leg; a movement Scott was intimately familiar with.

From his earliest memories, Scott both visually and audibly recognized his father’s unique way of getting about. The man, whom, Scott had learned, had almost lost his life at the age of twenty-one in a spectacular motorcycle accident on the highway, ended up walking away from the crash with a single side-effect.

Perhaps calling the response “walking away” was a bit of an exaggeration. It was only after a series of three intense surgeries and almost two full years of intense therapy that Lionel Desmond was able to walk, and at that, in the lurching gait that Scotty came to associate specifically with his father.

For example, his father, an early riser, would get up and proceed down the hallway to the kitchen to put on the coffee, and Scotty, lying in bed, could hear the unique step and slide movement his father made.  Years later, he could instantly spot his father in the hallways of the school where he worked as a custodian, and could tell, even from a few dozen yards away, that the man moving in a half-step, half dragging walk, one in which the man’s left leg dragged along, in a lurching drag-step motion that was immediately distinct and unique.

That step, that unique lurching gait, was what first caught Scott’s attention when he was standing on the GO train platform and waiting for the train that would take him back home from Exhibition Station to Hamilton.

His father had died, suddenly, one bitter cold morning in February nearly two years earlier.

He had been diagnosed with a cyst on his liver; a lump that the doctors weren’t exactly sure was benign or malevolent. But the best option, the doctors had agreed (both Lionel’s family doctor and the specialist who had been assigned to his case), was to have the preventative surgery to remove the kidney, in hope of nipping the cancer in the bud.

After a brief family discussion, which was easy enough to do, considering Scott was the only son of Lionel and Jeannette Desmond, it was decided that Lionel would undergo the surgery, have the cyst and entire kidney removed, and be able to move on to enjoying the imminent retirement that lay less than six months before him.

Only, the day of the surgery led to a strange combination of delays and angst. Scotty had driven back to his home town in Parry Sound, Ontario from his home in Hamilton to be a part of it all, be the self-appointed chauffeur for his parents during this ordeal.  And, needing to be at the Sudbury hospital for 8:00 AM in order to be ready for the 9:00 AM scheduled surgery, they had had to leave Parry sound a few minutes after 6:00 AM.  So they had already been up for an extended period of time and anxiously awaiting the impending surgery, when hospital staff kept returning to the pre-op room they had all been waiting in to inform them that the surgery was, again, delayed for another hour.

And so, with a surgery scheduled for 10:00 AM which continued to be pushed back until just a few minutes shy of noon, everybody had been exhausted and frustrated.

That hadn’t prevented Scott’s father from turning on his trademark charm, however.  Despite the waiting and the angst and frustration, Lionel Desmond continued to make small talk and crack silly jokes with the hospital staff who continued to flit in and out of the waiting room.

“Know what we’re having for dinner?” Lionel would quip. “Steak and kidney pie!”

The hospital staff would cast a confused look at him – most of them didn’t realize that Lionel was awaiting surgery to have his kidney removed.  But Scott and his mother rolled their eyes and groaned audibly every time he tossed that chestnut out to a new staff member who arrived to deliver the bad news that the surgeon was running behind and Lionel’s surgery would again be delayed.

Despite the older gentleman’s good humor, Scott had been frustrated.

His original thought was that he would be at the hospital for the morning and then could move on to an appointment he had scheduled for lunch time; but the delays in surgery put his entire schedule in jeopardy. Though he loved his father, there was a stream of frustration and anger flowing through him as he thought about the client who would be waiting for him.

All that frustration and angst, of course, fled him less than two hours later when his mother called him on his mobile phone.

Scott had been at a diner in downtown Sudbury, just about to close a deal with the client he had been forced to delay for more than two hours when his cell phone had rang. He looked down to see who it was, and noticed it was his mother. She had stayed behind at the hospital to wait until the surgery was over. Scott had planned on returning after his meeting to take them both back home.

“Scott. It’s Mom.” Her words were short, each one punching a hole in the air.

“What is it?”

“It’s Dad,” she said, and then tried to say something more, but she couldn’t force the words through. She began to cry.  

His father had died in the recovery room. He had just been coming to, according to hospital staff, and even beginning to mumble the jokes they had already come to expect from him; then he dropped off, dying from internal bleeding when the clips on his renal artery came off.

That had been eighteen months ago.  And despite the anger, the rallying against the institution and never getting any answers, a long and painful, tiring haul, it still seemed like yesterday.

So when Scott noticed the man on across the tracks, lumbering down the platform, he called out in a loud voice:  “Dad!”

That’s when the man turned and looked directly into his eyes.

There was simply no mistaking it. It was his father.

His father looked him directly in the eyes.

The man’s eyes were filled with recognition and something Scott had never seen in them before.

Terror.

Utter, outright terror.

“Dad!” he called again, this time in a louder voice.

Oh my God! It’s Dad. He’s alive. And he’s right over there! The voice ran through Scott’s head and he looked towards the entrance that led to the underground path that would take him under the tracks and over to his father’s side.  Then he looked back at his father.

That’s when the train pulled in to the station, blocking his father off from his view.

Shocked at the thought of being cut off from being able to see his Dad, Scott stood there a moment, the impossibility of it all rushing through his mind.

Dad, he thought. It’s Dad. He can’t possibly be standing there. But there he is. He’s alive.

He stood there a minute longer, trying to tell himself that he had been seeing things.

“But I’m not,” Scott said. “I’m not seeing things.” That walk, that lurching gait. And he stared the man in the eyes. As sure as Scott was standing on the train platform, that had been his father standing right across from him.

As the train came to a complete stop, Scott realized his father had been planning on getting on the train. The horrified look on his face told him he wouldn’t be waiting around.

Scott knew he had to get over there. Now.

He sprinted down the platform towards the shelter that led to the stairs, moving so quickly that he ran right into the door as a man in a business suit was opening it.

“Watch it!” the man yelled as the door pushed back against him.

Scott shuffled around the door, danced around the man without saying a word and ran inside towards the stairs.  He raced up the stairs two at a time, barely missing an older woman who was slowly making her way with one hand on the rail and the other clutching a walker.

“Oh my goodness!” the woman yelled, beginning to lose her balance.  Scott spotted it happening and was able to pause, take a step back and place a hand on the small of her back to steady her back to her feet.

“Sorry ma’am,” Scott said,

“You young people are always in such a rush,” the woman scolded. “Look what you almost did.”

“So sorry ma’am,” Scott kept his hand on her back and helped her move up the stairs.

“If you gave yourself time and planned ahead, you wouldn’t be late and rushing around to catch your train.”

“Yes ma’am. Sorry ma’am. Goodbye, ma’am.”

Scott then turned, leaped down the stairs, turned right and raced through the tunnel. His footsteps echoed off the tiled walls along with the repeated calls of “Dad!” which he yelled as he ran.

At the base of the stairs going up Scott stepped in a slick puddle of spilled soft drink and slid into the bottom step. His left toe caught on the bottom riser and he tumbled forward, his left shin and left forearm taking most of the brunt of his fall as he came down on the stairs.

“Dammit!” he yelled as intense bursts of pain flashed through his leg and arm. The shin took the worst of the pain and throbbed painfully as he tried to pull himself into a crawling position. He could hear that the train hadn’t yet left; there was a muffled announcement being broadcast about it, but he couldn’t hear it because there was somebody standing over him and talking to him.

“Are you okay, man?” a young man in a rainbow-colored poncho asked, placing a hand on Scott’s shoulder.

“Fine,” Scott said. “I’m fine!” And he groaned as he got to his feet, the shin sending out protesting throbs of pain.

He hobbled up the stairs and slowly managed to push past the pain, to keep walking.

At the top of the stairs, he found it slightly quicker going on flat ground and limped out the entrance, turning right to head back toward the platform, his leg continued to scream in protest as he moved.

He was less than forty feet from the train when he saw the doors closing.

“No!” he screamed.

He raced to the spot on the platform where he had seen his father standing.

His father was not there. Obviously, he was on the train.  As Scott got to the spot where his father had been standing just minutes earlier, the train started to pass and he caught his father’s eyes, yet again, through the window of the train, looking right at him.

That same look of recognition mingled with an aura of terror was on the man’s face.

“Dad!” Scott screamed, over and over as the train pulled his father out of his life yet again. “Dad! Dad! Daaaaaaad!”

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